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PleaseOHpleaseOHPLEASE rename the health care bill after Ted!!!

chappaquiddicare

Ohhhh…that would keep me busy for WEEKS.

He liked a good Chappaquiddick joke, did he? Let’s send him out with some!

Slogans? Anyone?

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 28, 2009, 10:52 am

CHAPPAQUIDDICARE: looking out for the important things…

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 28, 2009, 10:53 am

Or should it be ChappaquiddicKare, do you think?

 


Comment from JeffS
Time: August 28, 2009, 11:00 am

“Chappaquiddicare, because we can!”

Ummmmm, maybe not…..how ’bout this:

“Ted’s dead, so support Chappaquiddicare, lest we send you a horse’s head!”

 


Comment from Allen
Time: August 28, 2009, 11:09 am

TedCare: we’ll reduce healthcare costs by cutting off your oxygen.

 


Comment from Will
Time: August 28, 2009, 11:57 am

ChappaquiddiCare: The cure for a nation already under water.

(Grrr… There’s got to be a better “budget” & “under water” joke in here somewhere.)

 


Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: August 28, 2009, 12:18 pm

ChappaquiddiCare: With a nation drowning in debt, we need this to help keep people’s heads above water.

 


Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: August 28, 2009, 12:27 pm

After that man is in the ground, I’m going to get a little glass jar, fill it with water from under that bridge, and set it at his grave site.

Motherfucker should be buried with it, but I can’t make that happen, so this plan is the best I can do.

 


Comment from Jakeman
Time: August 28, 2009, 12:44 pm

TedCare: You simply can’t fathom better coverage.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: August 28, 2009, 1:29 pm

ChappaquiddiCare

Your future’s bubbling under…

 


Comment from harbqll
Time: August 28, 2009, 1:40 pm

The TeddyCare Bill: Fat, bloated, impossible to understand, and willing to leave people to die whenever politically necessary.

Too blatent? Yeah, probably too blatent.

How about ‘Diving deep to get you what you deserve’?

No, that’s doesn’t really pop, does it? Oh wait, I know:

ChappaquiddiCare: Everything else is just water under the bridge.

 


Comment from Rosetta
Time: August 28, 2009, 1:51 pm

Death Panel now called Oldsmobile Delmont.

 


Comment from Will
Time: August 28, 2009, 1:55 pm

ChappaquiddiCare: “Fluid in lungs” – not covered.

 


Comment from Deborah
Time: August 28, 2009, 1:58 pm

“TeddyCare” rocks, harbqll. So I’m thinking:

“TeddyCare—It will leave you Breathless”

 


Comment from Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere
Time: August 28, 2009, 2:08 pm

TedCare: Before you die, you’ll find yourself wishing for a brain tumor.

 


Comment from Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere
Time: August 28, 2009, 2:10 pm

TedCare: The best plan available couldn’t save him, so quitcher bitchin’ about waiting 8 hours for a band-aid, peasant!

 


Comment from Michael
Time: August 28, 2009, 2:24 pm

TedCare — only a ten hour wait to obtain treatment for a girlfriend under water.

 


Comment from Allen
Time: August 28, 2009, 2:26 pm

Kopechne Care: You’ll be dying to have it.

 


Comment from Michael
Time: August 28, 2009, 2:31 pm

TedCare — coverage is guaranteed for each and every American drunk.

 


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: August 28, 2009, 2:37 pm

harbqll – Let me fix that for you..

“The TeddyCare Bill: Fat, bloated, impossible to understand, and willing to leave people to die whenever politically EXPEDIENT.”

There ya go, all fixed up……

 


Comment from Pupster
Time: August 28, 2009, 2:38 pm

Chappaquiddickare – re-join the party or go soak your head!

 


Comment from David Gillies
Time: August 28, 2009, 3:07 pm

Chappaquiddicare – cutting health costs for seniors. If Mary Jo had lived she’d be a burden on Medicare

Via Ace of Spades, we learn that not only was Teddy a philandering alcoholic douchenozzle, he wasn’t averse to getting in bed with the Soviets if it might damage Reagan.

They’re going to bury this piece of refuse in Arlington. In Arlington! If there’s any justice the ground will spit his coffin out.

 


Comment from Beyond Bibb’s Store
Time: August 28, 2009, 3:26 pm

Chappaquiddicare Lite:

Half the Compassion Treating Caring, All the Pain Cost Deficit Fucking.

 


Comment from Tesla
Time: August 28, 2009, 3:55 pm

Kinda sorta in the same vein but not really I guess. The Kennedy clan has been at times called the U.S. royal family.
Upon careful analysis this data pops up.
The Brit royals have been drunks, drug addicts, drunken drug addicts, drugged drunks, womanizers, rapists, pedophiles, murderers and practitioners of bestiality.
The Kennedys seem to miss in only one area. Still hoping for pics of Teddy cavorting with a chicken or shagging sheep or boinking bossy.
Perhaps that Wonderful Weasel Woman, with her English contacts, could pad the list out a bit. Needs the attention of those who recognize depravity and God knows I resemble that remark.

 


Comment from iamfelix
Time: August 28, 2009, 5:07 pm

I seem to be recycling a lot of comments the past 2 days, but I keep finding good ones – This, from iOwnTheWorld:

August 27th, 2009

I suggest the proponents of the “Anyone Who Refuses to Lionize Ted Kennedy is a Soul-less Schmuck Health Care Reform Bill” add the following to the “Death Squad Booklet of Healthcare Options for Useless Eaters” — In the “Check which Option you would prefer in the event the cost of your health care divided by your age falls below Allowable Federal Standards” section, add “The Kennedy ‘I Care’ Option: Rather than force my fellow Americans to spend their hard-earned money on the Kevorkian Cocktail and Cremation Option, I choose the Environmentally Sound, No Greenhouse Gasses Option. Just throw me into a pond and leave me there.”

 


Comment from scubafreak
Time: August 28, 2009, 7:34 pm

I heard a rumor that they were going to name a Carrier for Uncle Teddy. It will be 50% wider than other Carriers in the Navy, Will be Christened with a bottle of Scotch rather than Champaign, and on it’s maiden voyage, they will test the catapults by shooting black Oldsmobiles off the deck….

After which it will immediately sail to Vladivostok to offer it’s aid to the Russians in sinking the USS Ronald Reagan…..

😉

http://returnoftheconservatives.blogspot.com/2007/01/us-navy-welcomes-uss-ted-kennedy.html

 


Comment from jw
Time: August 29, 2009, 12:12 pm

Ted-Care, because it’s more effecient than drowning them one at a time.

 


Comment from harbqll
Time: August 29, 2009, 12:49 pm

Thanks for the fix, SF. Much better flow. And the aircraft carrier joke just got swiped.

I also like ‘Fluid in lungs not covered’. Awesome.

 


Comment from JeffS
Time: August 29, 2009, 4:54 pm

Another possible alternate name for ObamaCare:

KopechneCare, because it’s dead in the water.

(I’m not the author, I swiped this one)

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 29, 2009, 5:57 pm

KopechneCare. I like it. Quite apart from the joke, JeffS, it remembers the better person.

 


Comment from JeffS
Time: August 29, 2009, 6:34 pm

Indeed, Sweasel. Indeed.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 29, 2009, 6:43 pm

Be sure to check in on the Dead Pool Thread. I have just added the fabulous prize.

Courtesy, as usual, of Uncle B, who grunts and shrugs whenever I put absurd things in the shopping cart, bless ‘im.

 


Comment from Pavel
Time: August 29, 2009, 10:39 pm

KopechneCare: Drunk men first. Then women and children. Wait; forget about the women and children.

 


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: August 29, 2009, 10:40 pm

LOL… On a lighter note, I am watching what is probably the WORST movie since BRAZIL…..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa7ck5mcd1o

I thought it was a joke when I saw the trailer, but apparently not 😉

 


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: August 29, 2009, 10:51 pm

OH….

GOD……

MUST…..

CHANGE….

CHANNEL……

EYES….

BEING…..

RAPED……..

LOL… I wonder if I should change my dead pool choice to Deborah Gibsons career. This stinker would break Tom Servo and Crow T Robot’s will to live…….. 😉

 


Comment from harbqll
Time: August 29, 2009, 11:38 pm

Dude. That is at the top of my netflix list, as of now.

 


Comment from Gromulin
Time: August 31, 2009, 5:39 pm

No slogan, just a heartfelt wish that the syphillitic sonofabitch will spend eternity somewhere inside of Satan’s anus.

 


Comment from qrstuv
Time: September 1, 2009, 9:15 pm

How about:

Shut up and get in the car.

 

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