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Machs grün!

Oh, now this is rich. German greenies calculate that a blog which gets 15,000 hits or more a month (yay! we qualify!) pumps out 8 pounds of carbon dioxide a year.

So what you’re supposed to do is, you write a blog post about this, you put a link to them in the sidebar using their “my blog is carbon neutral” graphic, they plant a tree in your name, it soaks up 11 pounds of CO2, and — violoncello! — your blog IS carbon neutral.

So let’s point out the utterly fucking obvious, shall we? There is no relationship between blogs and trees. Nobody is waiting around for a pingback before they go stick a spruce in the ground. This is an ongoing reforestation program (by the Arbor Day Foundation in the Plumas National Forest. In California) and these German greenie-weenies have just latched onto to display, once again, their weak (or dishonest) grasp of cause-and-effect.

The trees will be planted regardless.

Do you know, China is set to pass the US this year as the biggest emitter of carbon dioxide? I say, let’s get on board that campaign! For every blog displaying a colorful “my blog belches carbon” icon (small sidebar version here, pointlessly large version here), China will build another inefficient coal-fired electricity plant or smoke-belching industrial smokestack. Why, your humble blog could be responsible for spewing thousands of extra tons of carbon dioxide (along with unknown quantities of other, real pollutants) into the atmosphere every year!

Okay, not really, but it makes as much sense as that Green bullshit.


Spotted via the excellent EU Referendum. Don’t miss the post on Germany’s green jobs. Germany is way far further down the Green path than any of us — far enough for the (lack of) results to begin showing themselves.

UPDATE: whoa! Small Dead Animals ‘lanche! That’s one of Weasel’s favoritest blogs. Y’all be sure to come back Friday for the Dead Pool. Everyone’s welcome — and you might be the lucky winner of Aunty’s Spotted Dick!

Comments


Comment from Some vegetable
Time: March 11, 2010, 10:27 pm

8 pounds of carbon dioxide? Blog from the greenhouse and Uncle Badger’s plants are all
going to thank you


Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: March 11, 2010, 10:48 pm

Your blog doesn’t produce near as much CO2 as your fancy-schmancy septic tank does.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 11, 2010, 10:57 pm

No, Nina dear, that’s methane. And, ummm…sulphur. And pure evil.


Comment from Allen
Time: March 11, 2010, 11:07 pm

Do the minions get an oz. of CO2 for a comment? That would be cool. We could call them Weasel Dioxide ounces.

Heh, Weasel Warming, or Climate Weaseling.


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 11, 2010, 11:14 pm

LOL…. As PT Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute, and two born to take him”…..

It’s nothing more than a lefty attempt to enforce pay for free speech on the world…..

Here’s a thought. You and UB could throw some beans into your evening meals, and add a bit of Methane to your carbon totals. Kinda throws everything off on the counts, you see…… ;-)


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 11, 2010, 11:30 pm

Oh, one other question. Have they calculated your carbon footprint for your Zazzle page hawking your Carbon Footprint merchandise? ;-)


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 12, 2010, 12:08 am

Hey, at least they aren’t iron-ons. Can you imagine how much carbon THEY generate?


Comment from Michael X.
Time: March 12, 2010, 12:54 am

What if, for the sake of conversation, one has a small (but tiny) blog that doesn’t quite “belch” carbon, but rather emits polite little “burps” that are barely audible. Will the ChiComs go ahead and do the belching for me?

Inquiring minds, and all that rot…


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 12, 2010, 12:54 am

LOL…… Sounds like the perfect time for Bullshit Bingo…

Rules for Bullshit Bingo

1. Before Barrack Obama’s next televised speech, prepare your “Bullshit Bingo”
card by drawing a square.

I find that 5″ x 5″ is a good size … and dividing it into columns … five across and
five down. That will give you 25 1-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

.Restored our reputation
.Strategic fit
.Let me be clear
.Make no mistake
.Back from the brink
.Signs of recovery
.Out of the loop
.Benchmark
.Job creation
.Fiscal restraint
.Win-win
.Affordable health care
.Previous Administration
.Greed on Wall Street
.At the end of the day
.Empower (or empowerment)
.Touch base
.Mindset
.Corporate greed
.Ballpark
.Game plan
.Leverage
.Inherited …
as in “I inherited this mess”
.Relief for working families
.(alternate – “unprecedented”)

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and
SHOUT … BULLSHIT!

Testimonials from past satisfied “Bullshit Bingo” players:

“I had been listening to the speech for only five minutes when I won.”
~Jack W. ~ Boston

“My attention span during speeches has improved dramatically.”
~David D. ~ Florida

“What a gas! Speeches will never be the same for me after my first win.”
~Bill R. ~ New York City

“The atmosphere was tense in the last speech as 14 of us waited for the
fifth box.”
~Ben G. ~ Denver

“The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed “BULLSHIT!”
for the third time in two hours.”
~Harry A. ~ Chantilly

“This is the most fun I have ever had with my pants up!”
Robert H. ~ Portland

:-)


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: March 12, 2010, 1:10 am

Love it, Scubs! :)


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 12, 2010, 1:42 am

:-) You should do a version for Gordie Brown, AND whomever the leader of the Tories is. no reason that this should just be U.S. Centric game……


Comment from armybrat
Time: March 12, 2010, 2:04 am

let me add to your carbon burden. I wish I could add something more carbon laden to your blog.
Does it count if I’m a regular reader and sometime commenter? Does that make me a part-time, one quater or three quater carbon loader?


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 12, 2010, 2:17 am

Here. You can use this to baffle your Carbon Detractors….

http://htwins.net/scale/

:-)


Comment from doubleplusundead
Time: March 12, 2010, 6:45 am

My blog carbon footprint is bigger than yours. :P


Comment from CodyJarrett
Time: March 12, 2010, 9:10 am

Glad to be of service to all Weaseldom!!!
I am exhaling as fast as I can,dude!!!
Oh and as to your previous post about the Great Mollasses Flood, I pass through Keaney Sq Boston with my
big scary gas tanker every day. And on a hot day it does smell
just like moms mollasses cookies.
Please forgive the spelling errors,I did spend all
day in traffic,thanx and Top O’ The World Ma!!!


Comment from Czar of Defenestration
Time: March 12, 2010, 12:00 pm

My first visit to your lousy website.
I LIKE IT!

But you miss the perfect opportunity to suggest the obvious:

URGE everyone to VISIT THEIR damned website so they go broke planting a gazillion trees.


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Time: March 12, 2010, 12:50 pm

[...] <p><a href="$belchescarbon[4].jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; bor… [...]


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 12, 2010, 1:45 pm

From what I can tell, Yr Excellency, there’s no money changing hands. They don’t ask for any, and they don’t say they’re giving the Arbor Day people any. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s a mere PR exercise, funded by a small grant from the EU.


Comment from Wiccapundit
Time: March 12, 2010, 3:07 pm

I don’t know where I first saw this suggestion, but we should each of us put a space heater and a window air conditioner together in a room, turn them both on, and let them fight it out for supremacy. Call it “Climate Change Smackdown.”

And since blog traffic contributes to CO2 emissions, I suggest that everyone here who has a blog of their own should pimp it out for everyone else to visit, to increase traffic exponentially. And I’ll be the first to volunteer:

http://redstatewitch.com/wordpress/

Never let an opportunity pass to gratuitously pitch your product.


Comment from Pavel
Time: March 12, 2010, 11:48 pm

I do like the a/c vs. space heater death match wiccapundit suggests.

Yet another spin: institute a “You leave a comment, we club a baby seal” policy. Readership and commentorship will go through the roof.


Comment from David Gillies
Time: March 13, 2010, 12:47 am

Wiccapundit: sounds like Steven Wright: “For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier…I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.”


Comment from jwm
Time: March 13, 2010, 2:56 am

I just killed a little tree with the dirty gasoline I used to clean the parts on my bicycle.

Just out of sheer spite.

JWM


Comment from Sarah
Time: March 13, 2010, 7:51 am

Hey, yeah, an AC vs. space heater death match would be awesome. I’ll donate a Chinese-made, window AC unit that’s capable of cooling maybe 200 SF (and probably cost at least one child laborer his or her fingers while trying to put all those tiny parts together inside the thing), but you can’t have the space heater until winter’s over and I can feel my toes without cranking it up.


Comment from Bill (still the .00358% of your traffic that’s from Iraq) T
Time: March 13, 2010, 2:24 pm

Outside air temp here is 27C. I just set the Exploding Air Conditioner™ to 22C and opened the door.

Come and get me, Greenies…


Comment from Elphaba
Time: March 13, 2010, 7:13 pm

Help! Ms. Stoaty, I figured out how to display the “belches global image” (AWESOMENESS SQUARED, btw) on our sidebar. How do I make the white part transparent so that it blends in with our blog?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 13, 2010, 8:15 pm

You can get transparency with a .png file, but that’s a bit uncommon for regular web work. Easier just to make you one against black.

Somewhere tonight, a Chinaman driving a coal truck is thinking of you and smiling.


Comment from Elphaba
Time: March 13, 2010, 10:51 pm

Aw, Stoaty! That was really sweet of you! We’ve given it a prominent spot on the sidebar. Thanks so much!


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 13, 2010, 11:32 pm

Incidentally, it really is worth following EU Referendum, even from America. It’s not just about the EU by any means. Richard North, the guy who runs it, is a professional researcher and a freaking pitbull when he gets his teeth into somebody.

Recently, he’s the one who’s done the primary research on the IPCC’s Pachauri and all the twists and turns of his finances and board memberships.

He was also the guy who blew the lid off “green helmet” of the Paliwood Players.


Comment from cbullitt
Time: March 14, 2010, 2:16 am

I read North all the time, stoaty. The AWG Carbon Come Ponzi scheme is kind of my baby. That’s why I’ve stolen your carbon badge and placed it high on one of the sidebars–that,and I’m an asshole.


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Time: March 14, 2010, 1:53 pm

[...] but we’re working on it. Please help us become an official Carbon Belcher as awarded by the Weasel Times & Stoat Intelligencer (yeah that’s a real [...]


Comment from Elphaba
Time: March 14, 2010, 3:33 pm

Thanks again, Stoaty! I’ve also nicked your fabulous Zombie Reagan to decorate our site with. To show our gratitude to you, I figured out (I pulled a synapse doing this, I might add-ow!) how to add the adorableweasel clicky to our blogroll, so you now stand out real nice.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 14, 2010, 5:31 pm

Awww…thanks. Help yourself. Take any artwork you like. I’m like the Salvation Army depot of digital art.


Comment from CT Lostaglia
Time: March 16, 2010, 2:33 pm

I now proudly display my callous environmental apathy on my humble little blog. Thanks, I love affirmation in living color.


Comment from Tim
Time: March 18, 2010, 4:53 pm

I’ll plant a few trees for this blog site. Hell I’ll be planting them anyways so why not dedicate them to something that’ll piss the greenies off.
Be sure to tell the next green nazi that tells you your killin Polar Bears that they can help the Polar bears by going to the arctic and donating their bodies to feeding these animals. It’ll also reduce their carbon footprint.


Comment from Mazzuchelli
Time: March 18, 2010, 5:19 pm

Hahahahaha. I rely on the Cadillac to do my daily carbon belching.

Did you hear? Someone put Bit ‘O Honeys in the vending machine. I’m busy O-D’ing now in preparation for two PM meetings. My blood will be thick as foie gras and circulation will cease. Could be a promotion in it for me.


Pingback from My Blog Belches Carbon | LostRepublic.us
Time: April 27, 2010, 10:44 am

[...] So let’s point out the utterly fucking obvious, shall we? There is no relationship between blogs and trees. Nobody is waiting around for a pingback before they go stick a spruce in the ground. This is an ongoing reforestation program (by the Arbor Day Foundation in the Plumas National Forest. In California) and these German greenie-weenies have just latched onto to display, once again, their weak (or dishonest) grasp of cause-and-effect. (Read more from sweasel.com) [...]


Comment from Barney
Time: October 6, 2010, 1:15 pm

Just found your site It makes a pleasant change to find someone sensible enough to take the piss out of all this fake “green” crap.

The only thing the Rothschild (rotten child?) “greenies” want is to exterminate humanity so the aardvarks can have the world all to themselves.

Georgia guidestones anyone? Why hasn’t somebody dynamited that obscenity? I’d do it myself if I wasn’t stuck here in what used to be England before the commie kikes destroyed it.

Google Harold Covington and either buy or download (free) “The Brigade”, then LIVE IT.


Comment from hats online for you
Time: June 22, 2011, 11:57 am

I don’t know where I first saw this suggestion, but we should each of us put a space heater and a window air conditioner together in a room, turn them both on, and let them fight it out for supremacy. Call it “Climate Change Smackdown.”


Comment from alarm systems directory
Time: September 8, 2011, 10:37 am

Ms. Stoaty, I figured out how to display the “belches global image” (AWESOMENESS SQUARED, btw) on our sidebar. How do I make the white part transparent so that it blends in with our blog?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 8, 2011, 10:52 am

I’ve just had a look at your link, and the background of your blog (assuming alarmsystemsdirectory is your intended target) is white. So the color version should work fine.

If not, I can give you a .png version, which allows for tranparency. It’s a little unusual for the web, but should work for most browsers.

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