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It’s only a flesh wound

Heyyyy…I didn’t know they’d identified Ned Kelly’s remains last month. Dug him up with a bunch of other old bones and ran some DNA tests. He finally gets to be buried in the family plot, a hundred and thirty something years after it was his last wish.

Kelly was either a cop-killing savage or Robin Hood, depending on where you lean in the Irish/Aussie/English ethnic preferences continuum. They’ve made a couple of movies about it, so you may know all about him and his gang, and some of that may even be true.

Me, I only love him for this bad-ass body armor he kluged together out of old farm equipment for his last shootout.

The authorities not being complete morons, they shot him through the legs.



Comment from Oceania
Time: November 9, 2011, 11:26 pm

Unlike US Authorities?

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: November 9, 2011, 11:40 pm

Ya know Stoatie, I think you have a point. We DO need a better class of Troll here.

Oceania/Flashheart is getting FAR too predictable…

Comment from Redd
Time: November 9, 2011, 11:40 pm

Didn’t Mick Jagger play him in a film – badly? lol

Old executed murderers, seem to really give the aussies & kiwis boners. I read an article about Minnie Dean. She was a “baby farmer” and was hanged over a 100 years. Recently, someone had the brilliant idea of giving her a headstone and having a “forgiveness” ceremony. Blech.

Comment from BigBluBug
Time: November 10, 2011, 12:12 am

I believe that Norman Mailer and Susan (Waste of Air) Surranden(sp? who cares) helped get a murderer out of jail because he was a deep thinking author or some such. The psycho soon after killed a waiter because he wouldn’t let him use the restroom or some such thing. Sarandon named her kid after this person after the second murder.

People who admire killer authors (Hi Tookie, hot enough for you down there?) are scum.

People who grant forgiveness to horrid people whose crimes touched them in no way are just sad. Filled with compassion for the fiend, offering none to victims.

There always seems to be an unlimited supply of people willing to support these causes. I weep for humanity.

That’s why I’m building a robotic suit that will let me fistfight wolves. Once I establish myself as an alpha wolf pack leader, we’ll be heading for you Ms. Sarrandon.

That’s going to take a while so I guess the only thing I can do for now is pick her in the next dead pool.


P.S. Me and Suze Orman are cool now. I agreed to stop posting retarded rants about her on the internet and she agreed to stop flapping her arms around so much.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 10, 2011, 12:13 am

Eh, Scoob. It’s like being called a doodyhead by a mong. Easier to laugh than take real offense.

You know, Redd, there were people over here working real hard to get Myra Hindley out of jail before she died. Which is the best argument for capital punishment I know — sooner or later, some damn fool with try to get the lifers out of jail.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 10, 2011, 12:15 am

Suze Orman. I was trying to remember.

Comment from BigBluBug
Time: November 10, 2011, 12:20 am

Speaking of sad, check the link i used for my website to see the stone cold revolutionaries that are occupying Providence.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 10, 2011, 12:35 am

Wow! They’ve really messed with the ProJo’s website.

Pressed charges? Seriously, the Occupiers have legal standing to press charges against someone intruding on their camp? Pff!

Comment from Redd
Time: November 10, 2011, 12:58 am

I really don’t understand why so many powerful people wanted to get Hindley out of prison. I don’t think she was totally under Brady’s control but was quite the little sadistic killer herself. Also, they wanted her out after she served only 16 years in prison. What’s that? Only 3 years per tortured and murdered child?

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: November 10, 2011, 1:47 am

From what I understand, the Kelly gang had some justification for anger and action, but went all the wrong way about it and ended up doing some pretty awful stuff.

Comment from BigBluBug
Time: November 10, 2011, 1:48 am

On a similar note, it would be nice if you sue the idiots who let murders out of jail who have been given a “life sentence”.

We had a case a while back where they paroled a murderer who promptly killed someone else within a week or so.

After being convicted of the second murder, a jubilant assistant DA proclaimed “This time he’s going away for good”.

I’m sure that comforted the victim’s family.

When I establish my wolven kingdom of BluBugistan, punishment for murder will involve a trebuchet and a volcano.

Comment from Redd
Time: November 10, 2011, 2:07 am

BBB: You need to read the fine print.Life really means with the possibility of parole after X number of years. With LWOP they are less likely to get out but can still kill again.

Comment from GregO
Time: November 10, 2011, 2:12 am

Complete story of Ned Kelly here: http://www.badassoftheweek.com/nedkelly.html

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: November 10, 2011, 3:30 am

BigBluBug: Mailer was the one who got Jack Henry Abbott out of prison. Many reviewers were deeply impressed by Abbott’s prison memoir In the Belly of the Beast; it seems quite possible that Abbott really was a good writer. Mailer at least had the decency to regret his actions for Abbott.

Sarandon, on the other hand, rallied to Abbott after the second murder. I can see feeling sorry for the guy because he had a rough childhood and his head is permanently messed up. I can’t see naming a child for him. That’s a truly cosmic degree of fatuity.

And Tim Robbins, her baby-daddy, went along with it.

Here are some arguments for the death penalty:

Gov. Ray Blanton of Tennessee pardoned 23 murderers, including a double murderer whose father just happened to be a Democrat county chairman.

Winston Moseley, murderer of Kitty Genovese and two other women, had his death sentence commuted to life imprisonment. He broke prison in 1968, and committed a rape before being recaptured.

Willie Horton, sentenced to life without parole in 1975. In 1986, he was released from prison for an unsupervised “weekend furlough”, and didn’t come back. In Maryland, he stabbed and pistol-whipped a man and raped a woman, and stole their car.

James Earl Ray, assassin of Martin Luther King, sentenced to 99 years in 1969. Broke prison in 1977.

Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, convicted of 270 counts of murder in the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103, and sentenced to life imprisonment in 2001. Received “compassionate release” in 2009 due to claimed terminal prostate cancer – but is still alive three years later.

Samir Kuntar, convicted of murdering an Israeli family including a four-year-old girl and given four life sentences in 1980. Released in 2008 for the bodies of two Israeli soldiers, welcomed as a hero in Lebanon.

Comment from BigBluBug
Time: November 10, 2011, 3:32 am

I guess the possibility of parole gives the murderer some incentive not to be a trouble making prisoner.

Criminal justice stuff is probably a complicated thing and I’d hate to have to make those decisions. Each side in a retribution versus rehabilitation can claim pragmatism in their arguments. Still, “The parole board determined that the prisoner was most likely not going to kill anybody else” as an answer to “I don’t understand why they let him out so he could murder my sister” is obscene.

Well, back to my wolf-bot. It’ll never come to fruition, because wolves fight dirty, but it’s better than reality.

Goodnight all.


Comment from BigBluBug
Time: November 10, 2011, 3:45 am


People argue about whether the death penalty deters crime.

The one thing that you can’t argue against is the fact that an executed murderer won’t be murdering anyone else.

And then there is Craig Price. A terrible beast that’s still breathing for no good reason at all. They keep him locked up in a very civil rights violating way (a juvenile serial killer who happens to commit a guard assault each time he’s eligible to be released.

Comment from beasn
Time: November 10, 2011, 4:30 am

I say hand the killer over to the victim’s families after the trial.

Comment from MIke C.
Time: November 10, 2011, 7:08 am

One small step towards real justice is for more of the potential victims to be armed. This sometimes cuts short the whole process in a most satisfactory manner. Cheap, and a proven deterrent. Not a universal solution, of course, but then nothing is.

Comment from exit sandman, formerly enter sandman, waffling sandman…
Time: November 10, 2011, 4:20 pm

Bottom line: arm yourself, defend yourself. That’s it in a nutshell. There’s a rather prescient old saying floating around: ‘When there are seconds to spare, help is hours away.’

Raise your level of alertness to your surroundings. Get your concealed permit if you can (England exempted, unarmed as a nation). Keep your eyes open, suspect human motives and actions. Don’t be a victim.

Shoot to kill if necessary. Arm yourself to the best extent you can legally. That generally leaves lots of options, unless you live in New Jersey, Illinois, Hawaii or New York City area.

Those folks are on their own.

And if I never said it before, push comes to shove, don’t let them take you alive. Predators like Bundy, Manson, Ed Gein(?) always like a live victim. Take their lives, don’t give them yours.

Spyderco, Glock, S&W, Kershaw…the essentials of a safe passage through dangerous places.

Comment from mojo
Time: November 10, 2011, 6:35 pm

Mick Jagger’s best role.

Ok, so that’s not saying much, but still…

Comment from Redd
Time: November 10, 2011, 7:33 pm

My personal motto is if someone tries to kidnap you by gun/knife point, better to resist and be shot/stabbed in an area where people are more likely to find you. If they take you somewhere secluded, you’re screwed.

Comment from BigBluBug
Time: November 10, 2011, 8:27 pm

Sandman, Redd

I’ll never be able to carry a handgun no matter where I live(not a criminal, just crazy).

If I’m ever in the kidnap situation you describe, I hope to have the courage to make them do me there. The instinct for self preservation would make it hard I think.

My strategy would be to fall on the ground and spaz around screaming in a panic attack, or fake a faint, heart attack, whatever. And just hope they get close enough for the X-acto to hurt them somewhere tender.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 10, 2011, 8:35 pm

Don’t know if it’s urban legend, but I heard of a woman who foiled a rape by sticking her finger down her throat and throwing up.

Buzzkill, fer sure.

Comment from BigBluBug
Time: November 10, 2011, 8:42 pm

The ability to projectile vomit at will would be incredibly awesome.

Maybe some techno contact lenses that would make your eyes appear to be glowing red.

Add in a good “Braaainsssses” voice, and that pet wolf would be superfluous.

Comment from mojo
Time: November 10, 2011, 8:54 pm

“I wasn’t screaming!”
“Yes you were. I heard ya from all the way down there, you was screaming ‘Help, help, somebody get this bitch offa me!'”…
— “I’m Gonna Get You, Sucka”

Comment from BigBluBug
Time: November 10, 2011, 9:00 pm

– “I’m Gonna Get You, Sucka”

Gypped out of an academy award.

Comment from Oh Hell
Time: November 11, 2011, 3:36 am

If I am killed with my own gun, the SOB will have to beat me to death with it, because it will be empty.

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