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My god, it’s full of chickens!

Yes, yes…another computer game post. All the cool kids are playing Skyrim, and so am I (even though it’s essentially the basic game as the last two I’ve played through. If you like a type of game, this is no bad thing).

The typical computer game leads you through a series specifically defined challenges, A to B to C and on to the grand finale. You can do some side-exploring and Easter egg hunting, but the plot is the plot.

In games of the Skyrim type, they just drop you into a big ol’ world and let you get on with it.

Kind of.

There are a few big tasks that must done to advance the game to the ending, but the rest is wandering around doing the hell you feel like.

Be a giant cat! Learn alchemy in your spare time! Smite bandits! Join the Resistance! Steal things! Wander around staring at shit!



While the playworlds get bigger and more fun to look at, these games get a lot more interesting to play. Imagine the fun the designers had hiding a practicing necromancer in a stone circle in the middle of the woods, in hopes you might jog past and enjoy frying his ass.

Oh, and the chickens! There are beautifully animated chickens in all the towns. I followed them around chicken watching for a while.

Haven’t killed any, but I did immolate a bunny in the woods once with a fire spell. On purpose. I felt kind of bad about that, but I did get a meal out of it.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 17, 2012, 12:13 am

This is one of those games with some disturbingly modern sentiments, like the fact women are as likely as men to be soldiers. Disturbing because…not only does that pull me out of the fantasy world a bit, but there was a scene very early on where I had to duke my way out of captivity.

So there’s me, punching this girl in the face again and again, with her screaming in pain and the little sprays of blood going everywhere, and I’m thinking, “this ain’t right.”

Comment from Mono The Elder
Time: January 17, 2012, 12:43 am

Oy Vey. I can’t wait to get my hands on that game. I’m SO going to be a chicken menace. “I will steal your chickens and soil your quilts and steal your shiny’s!” -me, in about a month when the price goes down and all the bugs are out.

Comment from Mono The Elder
Time: January 17, 2012, 12:47 am

By the way, How many times have you ended up as the fecal matter of a dragon so far?

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: January 17, 2012, 12:55 am

I wish it was multi-player, I would be on that game so fast! As it is, Mr C has racked up more than 300 hours playing it I think.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 17, 2012, 1:13 am

Just after I posted this, I accidentally immolated a chicken while practicing a fire spell. It BE-GAKed and then lay on its side. I think it twitched a couple of times. I felt like shit.

How does THAT work?

I broke the leg of the Soda constructor once, years ago, and I never got over it. There it was, dragging its broken body across the screen…brrrr.

Um. Thrice kilt by dragons so far, I think. Though I managed to bag one just now, with the help of a giant, who then turned on me and smashed me with one blow.

Jesus, dude — I thought we’d built up a rapport there.

Comment from Oceania
Time: January 17, 2012, 1:23 am

I think that the game is being lost on Sweasels postings.
I mean seriously – is this as good as it gets?

Comment from jwpaine
Time: January 17, 2012, 1:53 am

How’s it compare to Morrowind and Oblivion? I played both of those so much that eventually, I started doing all the glitch-exploits, etc., just to see how it changed the game play. Also, I’d run around and kill townspeople and guards like the mass murderer I suspect I really am. Same for all the Fables.

Comment from Oceania
Time: January 17, 2012, 2:03 am

Figger Nicken Chucker?

Comment from Oceania
Time: January 17, 2012, 3:08 am

Chigger Ficken Nucker?

Comment from Nobody
Time: January 17, 2012, 3:51 am

It takes all the good things about Morrowind and Oblivion and removes all the bad things. It’s easily the best game in the series. Also, the leveling is extremely streamlined from those games. Mainly because there’s no attributes to worry about balancing, and you aren’t stuck with leveling primary skills to level.

Removing attributes took getting used to, but it’s for the better. You’re no longer stuck leveling a skill you never use because you want the x5 multiplier for Personality or whatever.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: January 17, 2012, 4:10 am

Nobody: Sweet! The old leveling system made it all too often a competition against the game’s designers, rather than against the game’s various nemeses. I’ll have to get me a copy.

Oceania: DIAF.

Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: January 17, 2012, 5:18 am

All the cool kids are playing Skyrim

No, apparently they are all playing SW:TOR…

So there’s me, punching this girl in the face again and again, with her screaming in pain and the little sprays of blood going everywhere, and I’m thinking, “this ain’t right.“

I don’t follow… 🙂

Comment from mojo
Time: January 17, 2012, 6:29 am

Shouldn’t a giant cat eat chickens raw?

Comment from mojo
Time: January 17, 2012, 6:33 am

Ooh, there’s an idea- become a werecat, hide in plain sight and pick off the villagers at night. Can you do that, or are you stuck with one form?

Might get ’em stirred up enough to come after you with torches and pitchforks and stuff. Goody!

Comment from ._>_>>>_>_>
Time: January 17, 2012, 6:33 am

Again, our Amerikan friends pretend to be in love with violence

Comment from J Foster
Time: January 17, 2012, 12:00 pm

The first time I came across a necromancer in Skyrim he was out in the middle of the woods reanimating chickens. What the hell is up with that? Anyway, when I killed him all the chickens squawked and poofed into golden brown chicken breasts (Necromancer Fried Chicken?). What I don’t understand about Skyrim is that my character isn’t human, he’s a giant cat. So why the hell can’t he just eat the humans he kills like any other large cat would? It vexes me.

Comment from nightfly
Time: January 17, 2012, 3:05 pm


“Huh, that sounds like Norm Abrams getting killed by a giant chicken.”

All my geek friends are raving about this thing. The last thing I need is another giant drain into which pours all of my time – so I figure I’ll be able to hold out until March at the latest.

Comment from Mono The Elder
Time: January 17, 2012, 8:12 pm

@nightfly, yep that was my estimate too. We will see though…

Comment from David Gillies
Time: January 18, 2012, 4:43 am

It would seem that minimum spec to play this game properly looks like quad core i7 @ 3GHz, 6Gb of RAM and a GTX 460 1Gb graphics card or better. That’s a thousand-dollar machine. It looks spectacular, but a) I’m not much of a gamer b) if I have $1000 to spend on computers it’s going in the Mac fund and c) I have limited spare time. So no Skyrim for me.

Comment from Nobody
Time: January 21, 2012, 3:46 am

Foster: Three words: Ring of Namira.

I was kind of amused that a cat person eating people still counted as cannibalism, though. I guess they’re using a broader definition.

Comment from ermine
Time: January 24, 2012, 4:14 am

“Wander around staring at shit” 🙂

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