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Levitating ewe

After a winning performance in the ring, something about the harness around her muzzle irritated this ewe. She began to bounce in the air while her handler tried to calm her down. Uncle B managed to grab this shot of her at full pronk.

I know what you’re thinking: Weasel’s been to a country show and we’re going to get a whole week of cow and chicken pictures. Well you’re wrong, smarty – we got the livestock ring too late and missed the cows.

And, once again, there were no chickens thanks to avian flu regs. Bitterly disappointing, but otherwise an excellent agricultural show. We walked ourselves stupid.

The weather for the whole weekend was gorgeous. It’s a holiday Monday here, too, but dedicated to nothing in particular.

There are two bank holidays in May, on the first and last Mondays. I have no idea why. They’re called the Early May Bank Holiday and the Late May Bank Holiday. This year, though, we pushed the early on forward a week in celebration of Coronation Day.

I’m getting out of the habit of working.

May 29, 2023 — 6:58 pm
Comments: 9

It begins!

Tomorrow is the best country show of the year.

Okay, last year the poultry was under quarantine so the poultry tent just had pictures of chickens. That was pretty lame. Saw some lurvly sheep and cows, though.

It’s a long drive but it’s mostly country lanes. I have honestly never seen the mayflowers so abundant. And cow parsley and elderflowers, also white. It’s going to be a sunny day and a fantastic journey, like driving through tunnels in snow.

We’ll pack sammiches, because the food there is expensive and sometimes disappointing.

Have a good weekend, everyone! I better see me some fancy chooks tomorrow.

May 26, 2023 — 7:57 pm
Comments: 5

My month as a blue check

Okay, it’s only been 20 days, but I have to make up my mind soon whether I want to renew.

By far, my favorite part is bold and italic. It’s a little thing, but it pleases me. I am an emphasis abuser going way back.

I don’t like having a bajillion characters. I prefer the discipline of having to make my point in 280 or fewer. Twitter doesn’t seem like the right place for long-form commentary to me – I never read the long ones, myself. (It remains to be seen whether it will work for video, as Tucker intends).

You only get edit powers on your own tweets, not on comments. On comments, there’s delay before it actually posts them, and you watch the circle count down. It’s like 20 seconds. On the upside, that does force you to proof your tweet one more time, but I almost always hit the button to make it post immediately. Don’t think I like this feature.

I was hoping for higher engagement and I’m not sure about that.

Of course, tarnishing the status symbol for the old blue check brigade is delightful. I expected to be taunted for having bought my check, but that hasn’t happened.

I’m just not sure…

p.s. One of these days, I’m going to fix that poor weasel avatar. The muzzle is too cat-like and it has a hump on its back.

p.p.s. I’ve got a four day weekend coming up, starting…now.

p.p.p.s. Kitty seems all better. Phew!

p.p.p.p.s. No, nobody had Tina Turner this round.

May 25, 2023 — 7:38 pm
Comments: 8

First!

Six radishes. First crop of the year. Uncle B said they went from planting to crop in a month.

I ate one right away to see what it was like (nice texture, spicy). I put two and a half in soup (it adds a surprisingly nice flavor to soup) and the other two and a half in coleslaw (haven’t tried it yet).

Salad days have arrived.

We did something spontaneous tonight – went to a charity auction. We bid on a couple of things but didn’t win. People were bidding way over market value, because charity. I have a hard time doing that, because cheap.

Anyway, back late and knackered. Toodles!

May 24, 2023 — 8:50 pm
Comments: 11

How much?!

Afternoon at Mickey D’s. £16.47 is $20.45. Ow. I can remember when we both ate for £5.

What’s a meal at the golden arches set you back in America these days?

I was the pig who had the Big Tasty which, I have to admit, was both big and tasty. For a McDonald’s, anyhow.

This is the second time we’ve eaten at this one in the last year. The man who drifts around wiping tables and greeting customers looks like Mike from Breaking Bad.

Older. Grizzled. Tattoo’d. Unfailingly polite. Looks like he won’t take no shit.

The thought occurred to me that he was, in fact, hired muscle. I wonder if it gets spicy at McDonald’s sometimes…?

p.s. Kitty was much better today, but went out this afternoon and has been gone for an unusually long time now. Still we worry.

p.p.s. Kitty is back. Seems fine. Hail Bast.

May 23, 2023 — 7:45 pm
Comments: 18

Flat cat

There she is, everyone – my one hen! In the absence of Spoon, this is the remains of my flock. This and three roosters. Don’t worry about her, though – she’s little and quick. She doesn’t have any unwanted chicken sex.

I’m late tonight because kitty isn’t himself and I’ve been trying to work out if he’s really ill. He was limping on his right back leg a couple of days ago, and now he’s just moving stiffly and subdued. I tried without much success to get some Metacam down his neck (kitty Ibuprofen – to my surprise, I had a bottle that was still in date).

If he’s still logy tomorrow, I’ll take him to the vet. Have to get a new cat carrier, though – the old one has been a chicken house since forever.

May 22, 2023 — 7:50 pm
Comments: 4

The white fluffy month

The farmer next door has for some reason herded his sheep from the big field behind us to the small field in front of us (they do this by driving Land Rovers at them and honking). This means lots of sheepy noises this evening.

For the record, sheep do not go baa. They go AHHHHHHHHHH! Which is pretty funny, to be honest.

May is my favorite, and not just because I indulge myself the whole month. All the various thorn trees explode into poofy white flowers (mayflowers, as it were) and the fields are full of poofy white sheep. It’s purdy.

In conclusion, AHHHHHHHHHH! Have a good weekend. The fête season starts tomorrow!

May 19, 2023 — 7:24 pm
Comments: 6

Whoa!

Did you see this? A company called Magellan used remote-controlled submersibles to take 700,000 high resolution photos of the Titanic to stitch together a complete 3D model.

They don’t say what they intend to do with it. I suppose it’s too much to ask that they put it up on Sketchfab like archaeological digs sometimes do, so I can play with it. They’re making a making of documentary, anyway.

Watch the video at the top of the BBC article, at least. Though, as usual, the Daily Mail article is more fun, including trivia about the inventory:

There were also 800 elderdown quilts, 12,000 knives and 12,000 forks, 19,000 spoons, 400 sugar basins, 500 cream jugs, 1,000 finger bowls, 12,000 cups and saucers and 1,200 teapots.

As well as the champagne, the drinks on board included 1,000 bottles of wine, 850 bottles of spirits and 150,000 bottles of beer.

Food included 75,000lbs of red meat, 25,000lbs of poultry, 11,000lbs of fresh fish, 40,000 eggs, 250 barrels of flour, 40 tons of potatoes, 800 bundles of asparagus and 36,000 apples.

Also, I was once made fun of for my spelling of whoa. Or maybe woah. I can’t remember which one I used. Anyway, I asked the internet and it told me:

Whoa is the original spelling. The spelling woah emerged more recently. The earliest evidence of woah in writing is thought to come from online message boards in the early 1980s. Indeed, the increase in the use of the spelling woah is often associated with digital communications.

May 18, 2023 — 7:01 pm
Comments: 12

Har har

Actual headline: “Council fills in potholes after residents paint penises around them

They initially tried to scrub out the penii, but that just made the potholes worse, naturally. Oh the huffy tone of the local council. See, this put pressure on pothole repair crews, who were expected to fill different potholes that day.

This was in Uckfield, Sussex earlier this week. It’s near Piltdown. Yes, that Piltdown.

May 17, 2023 — 7:11 pm
Comments: 10

Woopsie doodle!

So you know that biofeedback dingus I bought? I bought two of them. Here’s how that happened.

I asked Ebay to show me Buy It Now listings, because it was my birthday and I wanted my toy now, now, now. The first listing to come up was £30 cheaper than anyone else. Cool I thought and entered that amount.

Turns out, it wasn’t a Buy It Now, it was an auction – with, like, seven days left on it. I ain’t waiting that long! No problem, thinks I, that’s so cheap, someone will surely outbid me in the last few minutes.

You see where this is going.

So I bought a Buy It Now and then I won the flipping auction a week later. The picture is from the listing; it’s totally that other lady’s lacy bedspread.

It’s new in box with the shrinkwrap and everything, so I’m just going to re-list it. I’ve never sold anything on Ebay, though – have you? Any tips and tricks?

May 16, 2023 — 7:22 pm
Comments: 6