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Guts!

guts

You may recall I took a course in Advanced Chickenology last year. I was so impressed with the platform that I promised myself I’d take more. Well, I ain’t got around to it…until now. I’m taking a course in guts!

You may have noticed that gut bacteria is, like, the current fad science, holding out hope for everything from weight loss to depression. Well, I’m skeptical, but I’m also interested.

Today was the first day, and it turns out…biochemistry is kinda hard! Who knew? So while I struggle with my homework, a few interesting gut facts:

No doubt, I’ll overshare gut facts over the next six weeks. But I’m just auditing it this time. Who the hell wants a certificate in guts?

May 15, 2017 — 10:33 pm
Comments: 8

Optimism-of-Yesterday

chickenoftomorrow

The story that goes with is a bit of a downer – it’s about the beginning of factory farming – but I wanted to leave you with a happy image for the weekend.

Something I learned from my chicken behavior course: you know today’s meat chickens are mature in six to eight weeks and ready for market, yes? That’s because they’ve bred them (the old fashioned way, generation-to-generation) to be eating machines.

So. Fine. Six weeks of gluttony and out. There are worse lives, even in modern agriculture.

chick But when you want to make more of these little porkers? You have to raise male and female eating machine chickens to adulthood, without letting them get too obese to function and breed.

That means the parents of these little chubboes are kept strictly to regular chicken rations, making them crazy hungry all the time.

Adult meat birds have the worst escape record of any commercial chicken. Or the best, depending on how you look at it.
 

Woops! I wanted to leave you with a happy picture. Here’s an adorable fluffy chick I stole off the internet. Have a good weekend!
 

 

May 12, 2017 — 9:22 pm
Comments: 10

Bees!

bees3

BEES!

Our neighbor called this afternoon to warn us that a swarm of bees was seen headed our way. Sure enough, we looked out and they had clustered on the outside of our chimney.

This happened three years ago. They swarmed in the exact same spot. You can see a picture and read the story here.

Last time, we plugged the holes and so far we’ve only seen one bee in the bedroom. Well, several over several days, but finding the odd bee is not that…odd. We couldn’t see them this afternoon, but it’s raining.

Last time, they moved off on their own after a couple of days. If they cluster again tomorrow, we’ll build a gentle fire. I do not fancy hoovering dozens of bees out of my bedchamber every morning.

You know, I always assumed that .gif was an edit of the time Oprah gave a car to every member of her audience, but that video is here and it’s clearly not the same event. Did she do that more than once?

May 11, 2017 — 10:03 pm
Comments: 16

This is why I hate the art world

snowwhite

Alcoholic Snow White? That’s hilarious!

Oh. Wait. You’re serious? Like very, very serious? Like Disney Princesses face Rape and Murder kind of serious?

Sigh. My first taste of this was Dadaism, which I thought was playful and fun when I first read about it as a wee lass. Turns out, it’s not. It’s super cereal.

Eh. The photographer is a kid still in art school. Good on her for figuring out how to manipulate her milieu into giving her asspats. Which a mature her can convert into genuinely good art, I hope. Maybe even something playful and fun.

May 10, 2017 — 9:16 pm
Comments: 12

Your inspirational photo of the day

stoaty

More photos at the link.

Mustelid sympathizer that I am, don’t ever watch YouTubes of this. Quite horrible, the stoat kills I’ve seen. The bunny sits placidly staring into space while the weasel chaws on its neck, then suddenly screams and kicks and dies.

Still, you have to wonder what’s going on in this lady’s head:

OK, I wouldn’t know how I would have reacted int he same situation – but sounds like he had enough time to drive the stoat away, rather than taking photos of which he is “proud”. When I have seen cats about to pounce on rodents or birds, I have interrupted the cat – allowing the would-be victims to get away. And I am a vegetarian…before the inevitable Red Arrowers start saying it’s no different to me eating meat…

Yeah, lady, the difference is that nobody is going to put Whiskas out for the stoat.

Many years ago, I heard a chick interviewed on BBC radio who was of the opinion if we started early enough, we could teach foxes to be vegetarians. I can’t even…

May 9, 2017 — 8:30 pm
Comments: 30

Huh. That’s kind of…huh.

emoji

It’s a modern Dutch building, where the gargoyles are emojis.

I’m torn on this one. On the one hand, modern architecture is so plain and dire and serious and determined to impose sick-making non-Euclidean silhouettes on the landscape.

On the other hand, emojis.

The firm that designed it is Attika Architekten. Hit the link for more pitchas.

May 8, 2017 — 7:13 pm
Comments: 18

OMG.OMG.OMG!

laaambs

Just LOOK at these woolly fuzzballs! Onkle B took this picture in our back yard!

Okay. Yeah, he had to use a fairly long lens. Our property line is an irrigation/drainage ditch, which is why the wildlife isn’t more spooked by us moving around and gawping at them. And it wasn’t a miracle shot, as these babies were sound a sleep and didn’t move while he took a whole huge series of identical pictures.

Just, SQUEEEEE! Have a good weekend, y’all!

disclaimer: blog not responsible for ovaries suddenly acquired by viewers of this image.

May 5, 2017 — 8:50 pm
Comments: 11

If you have to explain the joke…

portillo

Okay, last one from the miniature railway exhibit, and I don’t know if this joke will translate. Or work in black and white. Do they run Michael Portillo in the States?

He’s an ex-politician who has done series after series of TV programs of himself taking train journeys across Britain, accompanied by a Victorian guidebook called Bradshaw’s Guide. He’s an ugly brute with a comically bulbous nose, known for wearing improbably loud clashing jacket-and-trouser combinations.

Anyway, here he is in an assortment of colors (we all agreed that none was loud enough) clutching his Bradshaw’s. No modern diorama complete without its Portillo.

If you can catch any of his programs, do. I call them ‘England porn’ — though he’s done a few in other countries, as well.

We gave up on his American series after the first three. He was riding Amtrak down the Eastern seaboard and Every Single Program he brought the conversation around to the history of slavery or civil rights abuses wherever it was he happened to be.

You can only take so much scolding before you grab the remote.

May 4, 2017 — 10:00 pm
Comments: 15

Last layout

scifi

This scifi layout was the best in show, though I can’t convey it in a single picture. These chained dinosaur beasts were on the top, but there was a whole ‘subterranean cavern’ deal going on below, with a rocket and a plasma ball and aliens and futuristic trains.

We fell to talking to the man who lovingly recollected how he had smashed together model trains with model jets and toys and assorted household items and grunge-painted over the result. It worked really well.

That’s how I built models as a kid. I’d start off well enough, but I could never stick to the plan. Somehow, I couldn’t bear to end up with something ordinary. It seemed so boring. I’d start gluing bits where they didn’t belong and putting decals where they shouldn’t ought to be. I had a particular fondness for gluing on bits of leftover sprue to look kind of like clusters of tail pipes.

Only, my efforts didn’t work so well. They ended up looking like big messy piles of crazy.

You don’t even want to know what my paint-by-numbers looked like.

May 3, 2017 — 9:27 pm
Comments: 12

More smalls

tinybanjo

Tiny banjo player in a tiny jug band. Tiny jug visible on his right.

More than half of the layouts were American scenes, for some reason. I probably wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t pointed it out. Didn’t exactly bring a tear of homesickness to my eye as I rode the rails or anything.

Lots of y’all have May birthdays, it would seem. Please join me in shamelessly indulging self for thirty days.

May 2, 2017 — 9:46 pm
Comments: 9