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What the hell, 2016?

death

Well, I’ll be damned. New Dead Pool. At least I’m not on the hook for George Michael.

Third(?) win for weaselwannabe, I think. A reminder to all winners of dick: even if you’ve won before, I need a confirmation of your address (and the nick it goes with) please. I am, in fact, starting to work down the backlog again.

The image is from Gustave Doré, one of my absolute favorite illustrators from childhood. Why someone would give a little girl an illustrated Dante’s Inferno is the question. “Weasel family” is the answer.

There’s always been a niggling doubt in my mind whether the magic of his illustrations should actually be credited to the engraver instead.

So. New Dead Pool Friday. After which, you realize, 2016 will have almost 30 hours to squeeze one more winner in.

December 27, 2016 — 9:57 pm
Comments: 19

Happy Boxing Day!

boxinggloves

All these years in the UK, I still haven’t worked out WTF that means.

We had a lovely Christmas: tons of lovely loot, heaps of lovely food. That social butterfly of a free-range turkey was delicious, though her legs reflected a toughness born of all the exercise she got running around gossiping with her turkey friends in flowery meadows. The cats get that part.

I still haven’t recovered my stamina, though, so I won’t linger. Santa prescribes indolence and reading of books.

Hope yours was as nice as ours!

December 26, 2016 — 10:31 pm
Comments: 16

Dead Pool Round 93: Christmas Eve Eve Edition

Zsa Zsa at last! I thought she’d never go. All hail LesterIII for being the last one with a chair when the music stopped. Is this win #3?

Now, it is the day before the day before Christmas, and likely the last Dead Pool of 2016. Make this one count!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

December 23, 2016 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 78

…and her name was Lorelai…

turkey

I shit you not, this is printed on the bag our Christmas turkey is in. I’m all for animal welfare, but I kind of feel bad for cutting this bird down in the prime of her life. She was having such a lovely time.

More on “high welfare” farming here.

Don’t forget — back here tomorrow 6WBT for Dead Pool Round 93!

December 22, 2016 — 10:21 pm
Comments: 15

Some slack, please

rhinovirus

No, that’s not a charming crocheted tree ornament, it’s a 3D representation of a human rhinovirus and I got one for Christmas!

That wouldn’t be so bad, except it’s my third in a row. One after the other. I’ve never seen anything like it. I didn’t even know it was possible.

Some time in mid September, I got a sort of a sleepy flu thing — chesty cough and extreme fatigue. Lots of people around got it at the same time. After which I got a cold. After which I got a cold. After which I got a cold. I have been continuously hacking and snotting for almost four months.

How can this be? I’m amazed there are that many different rhinoviruses floating around town. Clearly, my immune system is shot to hell.

One of my neighbors turned up (briefly!) at coffee this morning with a case of the calamitous shits and if I catch that one for the holidays I swear I’m done.

I’ve tried every remedy suggested to me. My favorite so far is whisky. Or whiskey. I’m not picky.

Any other suggestions?

December 21, 2016 — 9:31 pm
Comments: 24

Heyyyy, that’s not Santa!

geralt

Noooo, it’s Geralt of Rivia cosplay. There’s a calendar. It promises to be NSFW. German dude is a full-time professional cosplayer. He’s super well suited to playing Geralt, but I think he’d struggle a little with Hello Kitty.

Oh, that star-shaped scar is on the wrong side. Funny thing to get wrong, Herr Professional. Nope, he’s right. Oops!

Did you see MTV’s vile racist “White Guy Resolutions for 2017” video today? They must’ve gotten some stick for it because they’ve taken it down already. Happily Reason magazine saved you a copy (be warned: Nick Gillespie does a bit of libertarian pearl-clutching in the accompanying article).

I also have something to say to white guys for 2017. Big, big fan of your work. Thanks for everything you do.

December 20, 2016 — 7:42 pm
Comments: 15

IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

zsazsa

2016 — is there nothing this year cannot do? Zsa Zsa Gabor — surely the oft most-picked pick in the Celebrity Dead Pool — has copped it at last, at the predictably enigmatic age of 99. All congrats to LesterIII for winning the most elusive dick in the game.

We will of course be back here Friday, 6WBT, for a Christmas Eve Eve Dead Pool Round 93. The 2016 Dead Pool can have one more week to astonish us all.

Don’t miss it!

I’m not officially off work until tomorrow afternoon, but I’ll post the usual low-effort fluff all week: that’s my pledge to you. Do come over for some mulled wine and a natter.

December 19, 2016 — 7:31 pm
Comments: 6

Last one, I promise

hillaryeye3

Something a little different today.

Well, I’ve had fun. I hope you’ve had fun. Bitch makes so many goofy faces, I could do this for the rest of my life.

But I won’t. I promise.

Meet you back here next week for Xmas Countdown…! Good weekend, y’all!

December 16, 2016 — 9:48 pm
Comments: 14

I call this one ‘tragicomic’

hillary4

Once again, the big version required no Photoshopping at all. The picture was knicked from this article in Politico. I recommend it. It’s schadenfreudelicious!

We went to the office Christmas party tonight. Read: room full of elderly academics drinking wine and reading poetry aloud. It was a strange and wonderful thing.

December 15, 2016 — 10:58 pm
Comments: 13

Wednesday’s Hillary is full of woe

hillaryweds

Sadly, the big color version is not very big or very sharp. The original image was soft. But I liked her face. You know…in a horrible, mocking way.

I did a little P’shop on this one. Believe it or don’t, the first two this week were not ‘shopped in any way.

She is just. That. Haggard.

December 14, 2016 — 9:12 pm
Comments: 10