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Put me some knowledge

Happy Armistice Day slash Veterans Day, folks. Especially you veterans. And armistixes. The web seems boring today, so I will be, too.

Are any of you using Google+? Can you ‘splain it to me?

I’ve heard it called FaceBook without FaceBook. I get the impression Google is pushing it pretty hard right now, which is pissing people off. I understand they’ve tied Google+ to the comment system on YouTube, likewise pissing people off. And that’s pretty much all I know.

Uncle B and I have both seen a big uptick lately in requests for Google+ linkages and Hangouts. He’s a bit like this about social media. I’m willing to try things, but I live in terror that my tablet is going to rat me out to my desktop PC some day. You know — real name, medical history, jeans size, the latitude and longitude of the spot I’m sitting now typing this useless bullshit somehow find themselves on a banner ad on Drudge. With a link to my blog.

So. How about that Google+.

November 11, 2013 — 11:13 pm
Comments: 38

Now, that’s just silly

Apparently, he won a goodly number of them fair and square in the Navy during the war. So that’s not silly. But, gosh you’d think uniform regs would allow these guys to wear them in two rows, instead of one long pasteboard like some kind of banana republican.

If you’re curious to know what they are and what he got them for — all 17 of them — here you go.

Good weekend, folks!

November 9, 2013 — 12:00 am
Comments: 19

I don’t even…

Hmmmm…didja see this over at Jammie Wearing Fools? It’s Debbie Wasserman-Schultz defending Obamacare on MSNBC. Just after 1:10 she tries to say “misled” and ends up saying “my-zeld.”

Now, that’s not a slip of the tongue. I get those ‘tard tongue moments all the time. “Misled” might come out as “mislaid” or “missiled” or “trombone.”

But not “my-zeld” — that’s the kind of thing that happens when you’re cold reading someone else’s writing and a word doesn’t register for a second. It’s a read-y slip, not a think-y slip.

So, did she have a teleprompter with the answers on? And if the answers are scripted in advance, the questions would have to be scripted in advance, too. You can’t write the answers until you know the questions.

I mean, on the one hand, MSNBC. But on the other hand, really?

November 7, 2013 — 11:36 pm
Comments: 27

Help me, Edna! You’re my only hope!

I had coffee with one of my neighbors this morning. She’s an earthy farmer’s daughter type. I walk in the shop and she stares thoughtfully at my left tit for a moment and says, “you know, I think that’s the largest spider I’ve ever seen.”

I did my best shrieking Lord of the Dance impersonation. After I did, in fact, GEDDIDOFFAME! GEDDIDOFFAME! she said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d be the type…” Real disappointed-like.

Jesus. Live-and-let-live a placid kitchen spider is one thing, but how many people are cool with flipping tarantulas creeping up their chests?

Anyway, I won’t post a picture of the kind of spider I think it was. I’ve done a spider this week. Have a recent picture of Mad Jack. He’s old enough for his first shots now and he goes in for them tomorrow afternoon.

Today, he fell in the toilet and discovered water.

November 6, 2013 — 11:25 pm
Comments: 26

Remember, remember…

Lucia, our head chicken. Boss lady. We called her the Mary Poppins of hens; practically perfect in every way. I always said I’d build her a monument when she went.

Well, she went. I found her dead in the nest box this afternoon, not a mark on her. Heart attack, I guess. She was three and a half; we were expecting her to make five or six. I think she just awesomed herself to death, like a comet streaking across the sky.

I am sad. I shall drink now.

November 5, 2013 — 8:50 pm
Comments: 50

I’ll end up a Jain, I swear

My one concession to wussitude is spiders. We hates them, yes we does. We have some BIG, fast emeffers in this house that make me squeal and hop from foot to foot and call for Uncle B to bring the Spider Catching Jar (doubles as the Mouse Catching Jar, but I can drive that one myself).

And then there’s this beastie. I dunno. She’s kind of a nice spider. Legs outspread, she’s about the size of a quarter. She lives between the kitchen wall and the fridge, just below the light switch, and has done for months. She must eat, she’s been there so long, but her web is always tidy. No dessicated bodies or desperately struggling butterflies or anything.

We call her Edna.

First thing in the morning, it’s good morning, Edna. Lights out, it’s good night, Edna. Live and let live, I guess.

Monday is garbage day, which is a little tough on Edna. Two of her main guy wires attach to the lid of the kitchen trash can and I have to break them to get to the delicious garbage inside. She scrunches herself into a miserable ball and thinks invisible thoughts until I go away. I never see her make repairs, though. I think that’s why she doesn’t scare me — she is never on the move. She’s just always there, serenely in the center of her web, waving a leg occasionally.

I’m going to miss that spider when she goes, god help me.

November 4, 2013 — 11:36 pm
Comments: 33

Well, that was inevitable

Been getting a fair amount of these lately. You?

They’re obvious phishing emails. I mean, obvious because they were auto-exiled to the spam bucket. And I live in England, for cri-yi. They actually look pretty official if you open them up.

Oh, how I worry about getting old. Have a good weekend, all!

November 1, 2013 — 11:34 pm
Comments: 18

Happy Hallowe’en

Man, I can’t believe I got all jammed up and didn’t carve a pumpkin this year. I have failed Hallowe’en :(

I am, however, about to drink some of this:

King Goblin is hand crafted from roasted chocolate and crystal malts, with a timely infusion of fuggles, sovereign, styrian and cascade hops to produce an indulgently rich, full, smooth beer of exceptional quality and character.

Screw it, it’s really nice beer. Also, 6.6% alcohol!

Hobgoblin calls itself “the unofficial beer of Hallowe’en” and is ubiquitous about now. Wychwood’s marketing is effing twee but they make awesome beer.

Happy Hallowe’en! Please don’t get runned over tonight.

— 12:11 am
Comments: 19

The Muzeum of Beanz

Jack and I got exiled to the kitchen yesterday for bad behavior, so I organized the canned goods cabinets. Words are inadequate to describe how astonishing it is that I might organize a kitchen cabinet. My housekeeping, it is below average.

Lookit — turns out, in aggregate, we have a whole cabinet’s worth of Heinz beans. Excuse me, “beanz.” They’re likely to last a while, too. I’ve finally plucked up the courage to tell Uncle B that the answer to the question, “would you like a few beans with dinner?” is not merely “no” but “honestly, no.”

Anyways, MacDonald’s is throwing a corporate snit. After forty years of Heinz ketchup, MacDonald’s is dropping them because — get this! — the new CEO of Heinz is the old CEO of Burger King. Word.

Pretty thin gruel of a blog post, I admit, but we were exiled again. If this keeps up, I’m in danger of having a clean kitchen.

October 31, 2013 — 12:04 am
Comments: 40

LOL WUT?

Ladies and gentlemen, behold — the levitating chickens of Whiterun.

I’m playing through Skyrim again (because awesome is why) and this time I’m doing it with a few mods. Many game companies have traditionally and wisely encouraged players to build and distribute game modifications — bits of extra programming that add anything from new types of clothing to extra music and sound effects to whole new storylines. These extras don’t cost the company anything and help prolong the shelf life of popular games. Also, they sometimes poach talent from their best modders.

Generally speaking, most add-ons behave well. But occasionally, not. What you’re looking at is a glitch, an unintentional result of who knows which mod I have added. Someone somewhere used an identifier for chicken that someone else had used for the height from the ground of a catapulted stone.

Imagine my surprise today when my brother in arms let go the catapult, and every chicken in the neighborhood shot 50 feet straight up into the air, hung lazily in the sky for a moment and slowly drifted down like rose petals. It was…majestic (though I missed a pic of the first time it happened when, like, fifty chickens did this…I was just too transfixed with awe to remember the screenshot button).

Just a reminder of the strange and wonderful things that can happen when multiple people work on the same body of code. And speaking of Obamacare, more and more pols are ‘fessing up that, yes, actually they realized the law meant that millions of people who liked their insurance wouldn’t actually be able to keep their insurance.

I’m transfixed with awe about this one, too. Did they think that would just…blow over? That the joy of the poor gimps who finally got health insurance would drown the screams of the many millions of not-rich people who took a big ol’ financial hit? The level of denial or magical thinking or just plain stupid here is just…I just have no words.

October 29, 2013 — 11:27 pm
Comments: 22