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It seemed appropriate

All week, I’ve been craving a sloppy joe. It must be subliminal.

I made one. It was awful. You can see from the pic the meat stayed in chunks and never cooked down to a smooth ‘joe’ texture.

And it was godawful sweet. Never doing that with ketchup again. I’ve lost my taste for sweet.

So I put cheese on it.

As of this writing, nobody has heard from Joe Biden since Wednesday the 17th. He stepped down from the race on Twitter yesterday (Sunday) with a posted letter not even on official letterhead. No other sign of life. No pics, no video, no short news conference. Absolutely unprecedented.

There’s a rumor he had some kind of medical emergency last week in Vegas. Naturally followed by a rumor he’s dead. They’ll have a hard time covering their tracks if that’s true.

Oh, look – a letter from his doctor has just been posted to X. Taken his tenth dose of Paxlovid today; vital signs normal; presidenting just fine, thank you.

This has got Barack’s fingerprints all over it. He never understood American history and tradition and didn’t get how wantonly screwing with them is deeply unsettling to most Americans.

July 22, 2024 — 6:38 pm
Comments: 14

Name her

Special Agent Cindy. Her friends call her Doodlebug.

I had an instinctive spasm of sympathy for this chick. It can’t be nice to wake up one day and find you’re an internet meme. For incompetence.

But, screw it – this DEI stuff is going to get people killed. If we can’t make companies stop doing it, at least we can shame people who take on jobs they’re grossly ill-suited for.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

p.s. if you want a PSD file of our girl in color with the background knocked out (an exploitable, if you will), drop me a line.

July 19, 2024 — 5:26 pm
Comments: 15

Too soon

That poof of smoke in the distance is a combine harvester. They took in the rapeseed field today. That is way, way early.

We’ve had a lousy Summer.

Still walking through the timeline of Saturday’s assassination attempt. I am speechless at the incompetence. One way or another, they watched this guy walk around for over half an hour, even apparently spotting him on the roof with a gun in time to stop him.

That kid was simultaneously the blandest and the luckiest who ever lived. Next to nothing has come out of his socials. One report said he posted something on Steam, like “Watch my debut July 13!” And both presenters nodded sagely because, you know, games.

But Steam isn’t a social platform in that way. So he either was in a community forum about a specific game, or (seems more likely to me) he put that on his Steam profile. Which is like putting it in your Twitter bio. It’s a billy-no-mates kind of move.

I’d love to see his Steam profile.

July 18, 2024 — 6:52 pm
Comments: 10

The blink of an eye

In the second picture, he had just turned to look at the chart behind him (images pinched from this tweet, which runs them as a neat animation). I don’t need to say more.

This is the chart he was looking at, by the way. Causing some online wags to joke that Trump’s life was saved by illegal immigration.

Oh, just come across my feed: a clearer version of the animation.

July 17, 2024 — 6:49 pm
Comments: 10

Carry on!

The tweet.

I’ve been stuck in a Zoom call this evening. I looked up in time to see my one hen go sailing over the hedge. Fortunately, she hadn’t made it all the way over and into the field next door. By the time I got out there, she’d found her way home (she was fleeing surprise chicken sex).

Some wild stuff coming out of Twitter today, if you want to keep chatting about it.

July 16, 2024 — 7:55 pm
Comments: 11

Guys! Guys! I figured out the VP pick!

He confirmed today there’s a chunk out of his ear. I think the little fella deserves a chance.

This is probably the strangest political happening of my lifetime. And I’m old.

I have soooo many questions. The shooter was a long-haired 20-year-old noodle-armed nobody with zero social media presence who lived with his parents. Oh-kay. How did he know the layout of the site, 100 miles away? How did he know there wouldn’t be law enforcement on the roof? (There should have been!). How did he carry a ladder? Was it already there?

Why wasn’t there a presence on the roof? Why didn’t the snipers spot him? How could people on the ground see him and yell about a man with a gun on the roof for five minutes without getting a reaction? What about the cop who went up the ladder, got the rifle pointed at him, and went down again? Why didn’t he duck and draw his weapon?

At the very least, someone deliberately or carelessly assigned the most incompetent possible team to the detail. Did you see that woman trying to protect Trump from the front? She came up to his collarbone. They’re supposed to shield him 100% with their bodies and that just wasn’t physically possible.

How about all those Secret Service chicks surrounding him at the car? Bunch of chubby soccer moms with ponytails. That one poor woman who couldn’t holster her sidearm – I feel bad for the flak she’s taking, but come on.

Biden’s agents look like proper sides of beef.

Well, I guess the good news is, the people responsible for this are in charge of the investigation.

July 15, 2024 — 5:23 pm
Comments: 13

I have a cold

Luckily the miserable phase is usually not more than 24 hours, but I’m smack in the thick of it now. Looking forward to my gin.

What a miserable Summer.

We have the central heat on. Again. July 12.

It rained heavily this morning. I watched the weather satellite as one band of rain moved down the English Channel while another moved up the English coast at the same time. Like, how does that even happen?

I want a do-over.



July 12, 2024 — 7:28 pm
Comments: 4

Any beekeepers in the house?

The bees of Badger House are angry.

We’ve been coexisting with them happily for years, but a stupidly aggressive bee went after both of us while we were just standing in the garden last week and eventually it (or another one) stung Uncle B on the arm. Nasty one, too.

Today, I was quietly weeding the paving around the house when two bees, ten minutes apart, got right in my face. So much so that they both got caught in my hair. I know it was two separate bees because I was wearing gardening gloves and so was able to snatch them out of my hair and crush them to death.

I know bees in a fight will emit an alarm pheromone, so maybe the first one was chance and the second one was a reaction to the first one. Then there was a third, which caused me to move to another part of a garden. And a fourth (or maybe the third a second time). At that point, I gave up and went in.

Pity. We aren’t getting a lot of sunny afternoons this year.

We have to have the chimney repointed soon, so the bees will have to go. It cuts across my instincts, but if they’re acting this way, perhaps it’s for the best.

Picture is my girl Spoon the day she decided to fly up the roof. I suspect they had a poke at her, because she came down again sharpish. That chicken was more trouble than the whole rest of the flock put together and I miss her terribly.

July 11, 2024 — 7:05 pm
Comments: 5

A little something I stole from the cat this morning

He was in pretty rough shape when I put him in the box. I gave him some sugarwater, suet and a piece of apple and covered the box.

I checked up on him after an hour, and naturally he fluttered out into the room. There are a thousand hidey-holes in this room, so I had to give up looking after a while. Fortunately, I did catch him before the cat did and got him back in the box.

My rationale for holding him was that a fully recovered little bird would be flying all over the room, not going to ground. I kept him for another couple of hours and he began to thrash. I thought he was going to hurt himself banging around the box, so I let him loose in the garden.

He flew off, but down rather than up and skittered off into the hedge. I doubt he’ll make it, poor thing.

July 10, 2024 — 6:26 pm
Comments: 6

That Joe Biden – what a card! Amiright?

I’ve had a hate-on for Joe Biden ever since I saw this video of him arguing with a reporter about his IQ on the campaign trail. Every claim he makes in it is false, by the way. I didn’t know that then. What I saw was my least favorite kind of asshole: a blowhard.

For the record, that was in 1988.

So I had my eye on him when he chaired the Bork and later Thomas hearings. Jonah Goldberg made the observation that I couldn’t unsee: the smile he flashed every few minutes, like a tic, as if he was giving us all a little treat.

I tried to find video of it and ended up watching enough old hearing footage to piss myself off all over again (without finding what I wanted).

Goldberg went on to say that he liked Joe Biden anyway. He always was wet. (What was his NR column called? Everyone read it back in the day)

Everything since has further cemented my impression Joe is a glib dumb guy. A liar with a nasty temper. I can’t think of another example in history of a loser failing so far upward so many times for so long.

In short, I’m thoroughly enjoying the spectacle. As Howie Carr used to say, my heart feels like an alligator.

Of course, he’s not the same Joe Biden. He’s a potato. He’s still a dumb liar with a nasty temper, but he is no longer glib.

I don’t understand why now, though. He’s looked this bad dozens of times in the last few years, why panic at one more? Pundits are saying it’s because the public pays attention to the debates and this was their first sight of it. But how do they know that? They must have some amazingly quick internal polling.

Anyway – thank you, America. I badly needed this distraction from 2024 British politics. Don’t ask.

July 9, 2024 — 7:44 pm
Comments: 5