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Comes the neatening…

Several days before I take time off, I do a bit of a clear-up. This is not because I’m a tidy person; it’s because I’m a very untidy one. It gets out of hand and makes me miserable. Cannot be miserable for birthday!

Anyway, this object turned up. I remember buying it from a blacksmith. He had a lot of cool things I didn’t need, but this one at least wasn’t very expensive. I think it’s a bottle opener.

Agree?

April 29, 2025 — 6:24 pm
Comments: 3

M’boy Samuel

Black and white doesn’t half do justice to his fine red comb and wattles. A handsome lad, even if he is no spring chicken.

My flock is old.

This is the run-up to birthday month and if you think you’ve seen indolence and low effort before, back up!

April 28, 2025 — 6:09 pm
Comments: 1

Dead Pool 184: papal edition

The pope! The pope! Tonyc had him, but we all saw it coming.

I asked Grok who the shortest serving pope was, and the answer is: “Pope Urban VII, who reigned for 13 days from September 15 to September 27, 1590. He died of malaria before his coronation, making his papacy the briefest in history.”

So now you’ve learned something, let’s get right down to it:

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

Note: I am woefully behind on dick deliveries. If I owe you one, you’ll know how long. I ain’t gived up, but I haven’t drawn much since lockdown. Some day, your heirs might hear from my heirs.

April 25, 2025 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 41

Celestial emoji

Friday morning, just before dawn, the heavens will text us a smiley. That’s Venus, Saturn and the moon lining up in a silly face.

And that afternoon? DEAD POOL! Seems like an omen of some kind.

p.s. for some reason, I’m not able to comment on the post below (this blog is so broken). Tonyc, I’m unaware that the stupid new terrorism legislation will affect any of the festivals we go to. They’re much smaller than the one cited in the article. But they are larger than 800 people so it’s possible we’ll be touched by the idiocy. I’ll keep you posted.

And if you’re the tonyc who just won the Dead Pool, drop me a line. I’ll lose your email if I write it down.

April 24, 2025 — 4:33 pm
Comments: 4

It’s just screwin’ with me now

I’m trying to get a simple image of a hand holding up a coat hanger (for a cutesy “hang your coats here” sign, fml) and MidJourney seems to have interpreted that as “please show me all the most retarded ways a human hand could hold a thing it might be possible to hang a coat on.”

I mean, at least this one has a fairly orthodox coat hanger (except that stick shooting out the side of it), but that is, in fact, a left hand stuck on the end of a right arm with a vienna sausage thumb. And who holds a hanger like that?

I’ve had all the six-fingered, nightmare fuel variations I’ve come to expect. It’s like it’s allergic to normal.

Which is kind of true. I can potentially earn more rendering time by rating images – it shows me two and I pick the one I like better – and luckily I really enjoy doing that. It shows the prompt for both images and sometimes the rendering is just what the asker asked for, and sometimes it isn’t even close.

No, I’ve not cracked it yet. I am consumed.

April 23, 2025 — 6:34 pm
Comments: 5

Getting real tired of taking up the slack for y’all

According to this short Slashdot post, the world may have reached peak booze. Total consumption is down 16% since 2016.

Several reasons cited: health consciousness, event drinking rather than a daily tipple, marijuana substitutes. Y’all slackers need to step up.

Image courtesy MidJourney (hey, I had to pay for that one; of course I’m going to use it).
The prompt was “create a photorealistic image of several different kinds of alcoholic beverage on an attractive wood table.”

Better in color, but still glitchy. The two bottles are tiny. Why is there a seam running through the whisky? What is with the ice cubes playing Tetris in the glass on the far right. And it couldn’t decide between condensation or bubbles in the champagne flute.

One of the things I’ve learned is, take the first image that comes close and change what you need with Photoshop. If you try to get AI to fix its own mistakes, the pictures get weirder and weirder.

April 22, 2025 — 5:25 pm
Comments: 5

The pontiff gives the stinkeye to a flower arrangment

My first instinct was to do a caricature, but that felt mean spirited. I’ve had a lovely long weekend (I took today, on a whim) and I’m feeling charitable. Even to Pope Commie.

I wonder if they’ll elect a Catholic this time?

Naturally, someone had him in the Dead Pool (step forward, Tonyc), but we won’t worry about that until Friday,

April 21, 2025 — 5:28 pm
Comments: 6

It’s that time of year

Sorry for the lightposting this week. The weather’s been nice and I’ve done nothing but duck out early from work and sit in the garden staring out across the fields.

That there is the view from my front garden.

Okay, I had to zoom way in because they were right down the bottom of the field, but there’s plenty of them. They staggered the lambing more than usual this year, so some lambs are tiny and new and some are thundering across the turf in menacing lamb gangs.

Happy Easter, everyone, and have a great weekend! Back to the garden for this weasel.

April 18, 2025 — 5:48 pm
Comments: 8

I have seen the future

It’s a shed lockplate in the shape of a pig. Yes, it’s pink. Saw it on the way to work this morning (how much more you notice when you walk in).

No, nothing more interesting happened to me today.

Wait – it did! I bought a crystal ball from a junk seller in the town. I said, “can you see the future in that thing?” and he squinted and said, “I see a five pound note.”

April 17, 2025 — 5:00 pm
Comments: 5

kind of a short neck for a weasel

MidJourney. The prompt was “an angry berserker weasel running at the camera, mouth open, waving a sword.” A miss, I think.

I was proud of the image I wrung out of AI for my book cover, so I sent it off to my new boss last night. Didn’t hear anything back. Finally sent a timid WhatsApp asking if it arrived.

Meh. He has moral qualms about AI. Energy consumption and copyright infringement.

Dear reader, I think my boss just might be a virtue-signalling twat.

April 16, 2025 — 6:28 pm
Comments: 8