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Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

I picked up an address book virus yesterday. Which means, if you and I exchanged emails recently, you may have gotten an email from an account you don’t recognize (my root ISP account), subject “hi” contents a blind link.

If you click that link, you will spend a delightful day — as I just did — cleaning up the computer and writing apology emails.

The good news is, Malwarebytes cleans it right up. The bad news is, you probably won’t realize you’ve got it until after it drops a load on all your friends, neighbors and important business contacts.

I have never kept an address book since leaving a cubicle, but I hit a button somewhere recently that put every email I reply to automagically into mine. Hence, recent contacts only.

The worst part is, now my real name is out there.

That’s right, suckas — my name is stoat.e.weasel!


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 30, 2013, 10:52 pm

Awwww…the last surviving Andrews sister is dead. She was 94.

And no-one had her in the Dead Pool!

Comment from Gromulin
Time: January 30, 2013, 10:58 pm

Bing Crosby did a bunch of great recordings with the Andrews sisters. I wanted to use their version of “Don’t fence me in” at our wedding reception, but for some reason, my wife objected.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 30, 2013, 11:27 pm

Ha! When Her Stoatliness and I did that thing I was pretty keen on us exiting to the Laurel and Hardy theme song.

For some reason the Vicar didn’t seem too impressed.

Comment from Redd
Time: January 30, 2013, 11:29 pm

Huh. I always thought your real name was Margaret.

Comment from Redd
Time: January 30, 2013, 11:30 pm

That looks like blood you’re mopping up. Be sure to use bleach…

Comment from Redd
Time: January 30, 2013, 11:33 pm

There’s some song they sing where the lyrics are “trip trip tripping on the windowpane!”

Who knew the Andrew Sisters were deadheads?

Comment from Gromulin
Time: January 30, 2013, 11:42 pm

My second choice was Johnny Cash – Ring of Fire. She wouldn’t have that either. Some women have no taste in good music.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: January 30, 2013, 11:58 pm

When I was a little girl my parents took me to the Coconut Grove where we saw the Andrews Sisters. They were so nice to the little girl in the audience. I can remember eating my Chicken Cacciatore with them looking my way and singing. I thought they were only singing to me. 🙂

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 31, 2013, 12:10 am

I went through a Big Band phase. In my teens, which is a little weird, I admit.

I just got a troll comment from someone called “trampoline pas cher avec filet.”

Living abroad is the best.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: January 31, 2013, 12:44 am

Some rules to avoid problems like this.

1) Never send formatted e-mail. Plaintext only. If you want to send a formatted document, send it as an attachment.

2) Use a mailtool that doesn’t automatically full-render received HTML e-mail. This includes not having a “preview pane” or turning it off. Turn off autoloading of embedded images and any form of scripting or active content.

3) Never click blindly on a link from an untrusted source. View the URL first. If the domain is yahoo/ebay/vimeo/youtu.be…, go ahead. But make sure it really is whatever.com, not whatever.com.somethingelse.com. If the URL is obfuscated, don’t touch!

If you really want to see what’s there, download the page source, then examine it with a text editor.

Between these rules and using a Mac, I’ve never been infected.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: January 31, 2013, 1:14 am

OOOh, Mz Weasel!! A few years ago, oh gosh, it’s been ages now!! I heard Big Band movie on a huge church organ, like what you would find in St Pauls. I have been trying to find out who it was for years to no success. Mebbe you know, since you’re all musical and such….

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: January 31, 2013, 1:16 am

I like the Social Distortion cover version of Ring of Fire…more bite…

What was the name of the virus?…

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: January 31, 2013, 1:26 am

Balls. I had Patty Andrews in Round 35, too.

Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: January 31, 2013, 1:28 am

Dear Uncle B,

Not Yakety Sax?


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: January 31, 2013, 1:42 am

Aww, you NAUGHTY little weasel.

Comment from Brad
Time: January 31, 2013, 2:44 am

Speaking of Johnny Cash and romantic musical gestures, whenever my wife calls my cellphone, the ringtone is Folsom Prison Blues.

To be fair, this is her ringtone for me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaWU1CmrJNc

Comment from Nina
Time: January 31, 2013, 4:33 am

Wait…you’re not Stoat E. Weasel??????

Now I’m beginning to doubt that you’re really a weasel married to a badger.

Comment from limoo20
Time: January 31, 2013, 9:01 am


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and read English article



Comment from AltBBrown
Time: January 31, 2013, 10:37 am

Not a good day to start a conversation with “hi”.

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: January 31, 2013, 12:07 pm

*blink* Spam. Crap on a crutch, a spam post actually made it through.

Put on your protective plastic smocks and goggles everyone, I have a feeling the evisceration-by-weasel is going to be sudden, and incredibly messy.

Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: January 31, 2013, 4:58 pm

I wanted to have the Imperial March instead of the Wedding March, but my husband thought that would be too on-the-nose.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: January 31, 2013, 4:59 pm

In other news, a wind turbine guaranteed to last 25 years blew over in not especially high winds.


Comment from Gromulin
Time: January 31, 2013, 5:32 pm

In other, other news…Gomer is teh ghey. NTTAWWT: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/jan/30/jim-nabors-gomer-pyle-actor-marries-male-partner-s/

Or has it been “out” there for a while?

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: January 31, 2013, 5:55 pm

I’m sure that Teh Won and the Imperial Court are positive that OUR Asian crapwork erected by OUR union artisans will be much, much more durable than THEIR Asian crapwork erected by THEIR union artisans, as it’ll cost twice as much.
Also, from what I’ve read, the wind speed drops dramatically near any site where a windmill has a projected efficiency of >28%.

Comment from Deborah
Time: January 31, 2013, 7:34 pm

Husband managed a small ISP for about five years, so I have heard horror stories that would curl your toes. I am cautious beyond belief. I’d rather run away from home than tell my husband I picked up a computer disease.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 31, 2013, 8:54 pm

Shit. My machine apparently just sent another round of emails. This time, Malwarebytes isn’t finding anything. I’ve biffed my contacts book. Any suggestions? I don’t even know what this bug is called.

Grom, I’ve known Nabors was gay since the ’60s, when I wasn’t entirely sure what gay was. My mother did his portrait in charcoals (not a commission from him, it was for a friend of hers who was also a friend of his, for a party…if that makes sense).

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 31, 2013, 8:59 pm

Urm, not that doing someone’s portrait tells you if he’s gay. It’s just, she was gossipping about it. Apparently, common knowledge then.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: January 31, 2013, 9:31 pm

—My mother did his portrait in charcoals (not a commission from him, it was for a friend of hers who was also a friend of his, for a party…if that makes sense).

six degrees of Artards, then. That’s a post-worthy story.

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: January 31, 2013, 9:35 pm

I can’t say enough about Kaspersky Pure. Also, AVG has some Linux booting freebies that are weapons-grade.

We watched “Funny Face’ last night. It starred Fred Astaire and a very young Audrey Hepburn. Then Missus watched it again. Then she made me promise to take her for dancing lessons.

Comment from SDN
Time: February 2, 2013, 5:57 am

Stoaty, go to your ISP and change your e-mail password. The odds are pretty good that the problem is on their end. You’ll have to change it on your e-mail client, too.

I’ve been running Avast! antivirus / e-mail scanner / firewall since 2008. No infections, ever. It catches things McAfee and Norton won’t touch. It’s free for personal use; I was impressed enough to buy a 3 computer site license for all the computers on the home network.

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