sweasel.com

Need to tack on some frilly knickers. Would match the clouds nicely, I’d think.

What about some nice low-hanging bollocks? Somewhere near the luggage compartment.

I’m no physicist (despite what my resume says), but I think a big pair of family jewels on the plane would increase the drag coefficient something awful. Plus having them flapping about in the wind would probably make children cry.

Ohhhh, no. No no. No more testicles. Not for a week or so, anyway. I’m getting a reputation over here!

No kiddin’, Weas. It’s horrible, I tell you.

“Go on over to Weas’ place, have a ball.”
“Be careful at Weas’ place, they’re all nuts.”
“Weasel Times and Scrot-Intelligencer”

I always say, ‘I’ll go over to Weasel’s place and read a load of bollocks’.

What’s that mean? Me no readum da French speak

Damn. It. All.

Just when I was set to start flying again.

So Weaz – did you order your buffalo scrotum? And did you get the winter furry style or the nekkid summer product?

That didn’t come out right.

I was kind of put off by the order form, McGoo. But I definitely wanted the Winter furry. The summer nekkid was hardened, so that’s no good.

Sayyyy…where’d you pinch a connect?

Oh, I’m sure the Gooster has his ways. More’n one way to defur a feline, as they say…

I’m on the motel wi-fi.

Do I appear different from usual on the wordpress ID sniffer?

Well, you don’t smell any different, if that helps.

The admin thingie says you’re calling from New Wave Communications…Somerset, KY? That can’t be right…

Of course, it always says Uncle B is calling from Amsterdam, and that isn’t either.

That’s what you think, Weasel.

‘You wantsh da hot porno mags, ok?’

Weaz! I am on New Wave Comm.! Word Press is right and true – and come Spring the White Whale will be off Cape of Good Hope!

BTW: I missed two pills and an insulin injection so far. hyperglycemia: it’s better’n opiates. Guess I better stop that.

Laptops. Suck. Hard. Vacuum.

*puts hands on hips*
Don’t be messin’ with the blood sugar young…er…old dude. I’m not diabetic but just had the shakes/sweats from low blood sugar, otherwise I would be fast asnooze.

Speaking of Amsterdam, aren’t they shutting down the red-light district?

McGoo! Dude! Don’t mess with your blood sugar. It’s like autoerotic asphyxiation: sure, it seems like a good idea at the time, but next thing you know, your brother is down at the morgue staring at you in your jaunty noose, frilly pink slip and saucy heels.

Ew. I wouldn’t want to be caught flagrant delic-whatever in my sea-captain’s uniform! In point of fact, I’d already shot up to fix the problem.

Ah, Amsterdam! Buddy of mine who goes over there regularly is moanin’ and groanin’ about that red-light district demise. BTW: I don’t think he partakes – he just likes window-shopping. ‘Course I’ve been known to be ridiculously naive, too.

I finally got around (read: messed with this G-D laptop!) and saw the per-pound prices! Ha! Love it.

I am going to go find a hog farm and feed this laptop to the pork. oktxbai