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Guyz! Guyz!

You’ll never guess! I got a job!

It’s kind of a lousy job — a few hours a week of light office work, basically — but it’s at a way cool place and will very likely turn into something better if I stick with it and, you know, strategically murder my cow-orkers over time. So forgive me if I’m distracted for a bit until I get the hang of my new routine.

Oh, and hey — Iraq is turning to shit.

Comments


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: June 12, 2014, 10:54 pm

Hey, congratulations! Getting a job isn’t always a good reason for congrats, but you clearly are enthusiastic enough that this is good news. Just remember: you want to make the deaths look like accidents, or where appropriate, suicide.

Oh, about your comment:

Oh, and hey — Iraq is turning to shit.

You seem to be implying some kind of process where Iraq was not shit but is becoming shit as some new condition.

I respectfully suggest that you may be mistaken about that.


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: June 12, 2014, 11:02 pm

I like your name tag. I like to mess with name tags. I’m (in)famous for doing this at conventions and conferences:

HELLO! I’M
YOUR NAME IS MUDD

Unfortunately for you, “Your name is Mudd” is an Americanism, referring to Dr. Sam Mudd who was convicted, many contend wrongly, for abetting John Wilkes Booth after the assassination of the tyrant Lincoln.

Perhaps in your new job, you might try

YOUR NAME IS GUIDO


Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: June 12, 2014, 11:05 pm

Weasels should never use a fountain pen.


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: June 12, 2014, 11:17 pm

Things are looking good for SCOTTtheBADGER, meaning
things are looking bad for Casey Kasem.


Comment from QuasiModo
Time: June 12, 2014, 11:21 pm

Congrats on your new gig, Sweasey!


Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: June 12, 2014, 11:23 pm

Is that a clue? Cow-orkers? You’re working with livestock?


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: June 12, 2014, 11:42 pm

@Mrs Compton – Perhaps it is a clue, but “cow-orkers” has been a ‘net “humor” bit since before the World Wide Web – back to the days of USENET and email and gopher was all there was.

But I still grin when I see it! (-:


Comment from mojo
Time: June 12, 2014, 11:56 pm

Falls down stairs are very clean. Just sayin’…


Comment from mojo
Time: June 12, 2014, 11:57 pm

I like the one on the t-shirt: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.


Comment from Nina
Time: June 13, 2014, 12:26 am

A job. Better than a sharp stick in the eye!


Comment from weasel tablet
Time: June 13, 2014, 1:36 am

Yes, I’m a creature of Usenet. Cow worker is evergreen.


Comment from weasel tablet
Time: June 13, 2014, 1:47 am

Cow orker. Stupid auto correct.


Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: June 13, 2014, 2:24 am

Is it at a MacDo, your kind of lousy new job about which you are boundlessly excited?


Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: June 13, 2014, 2:47 am

Congratulations Stoatie!

I have long admired your dedication – putting out a post a day is a good demonstration that you have the capability to show up for work when scheduled, no matter how good the party was the night before.

Getting up in the morning at the same time every day may be hard, but after a bit of coffee and a slug of toast, you’ll be ready to face anything!


Comment from Deborah
Time: June 13, 2014, 2:50 am

I wonder if your fellow employees have any idea of what’s coming 🙂 Promise to share!


Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: June 13, 2014, 5:03 am

Oh, and you has to promises us!

Desktop photo with Man’s Shoes on it!!!!

Pretty good memory for a vegetable, eh?

🙂


Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: June 13, 2014, 8:02 am

Oh, hey, I thought that’s actually (now) s’posed to be “cow-irkers” – per the authority on such matters, the ol’ “Dilbert”-deviser, Scott Adams…think about it, y’know?

Congrats on the job (I think?) – I’m still looking for one, me’self, been drawing “funemployment” (greatly reduced in duration and weeks, this time ’round, so not near as much “fun”, mostly all “un” – but, I digress a bit…), have been since early-March – at least I’m getting some work done on the house, whilst trying to whomp up some additional trade for my side-business. The “readies” are starting to run low, though, so I’d relly like to get back to a nine-to-five dealie soon.

Best of Anglo luck on the new “situation”, anyway, and how’re the chooks faring these days? No chicken-postings recently, so…


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 13, 2014, 8:07 am

Chooks are fine. They aren’t so restless now that Lucia (PBUH) is no longer with us. Pure troublemaker, that hen.

If I stick to my schedule, I should be at work and back before they’re used to being released, anyhoo. What doesn’t that leave time for, kids? Sleep mostly.

Right. Wish me luck. First day at work…


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 13, 2014, 8:08 am

(I’m still trying to remember the significance of “desktop photo with Man’s Shoes on it.” Beaten out by a vegetable).


Comment from Frit
Time: June 13, 2014, 9:13 am

Congratulations, Stoaty! Here’s hoping it’s fun as well as prosperous for you. 🙂


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: June 13, 2014, 2:24 pm

Remember to microwave some fish.


Comment from surly ermine
Time: June 13, 2014, 2:56 pm

Good luck Stoaty. You could of had mine, bit of a commute though.
My lame office joke: I once replaced all the soap at work with bars of wax. I cast them in a mold made from a bar of Dial so it looked like the real thing. Yes, fun ensued.


Comment from Can’t Hark My Cry
Time: June 13, 2014, 5:02 pm

Mazel tov!

/I/ remember the desktop with shoes on it …


Comment from Can’t Hark My Cry
Time: June 13, 2014, 5:09 pm

At least I /think/ I do. These, Some Vegetable? http://sweasel.com/archives/337


Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: June 13, 2014, 5:33 pm

I’ve been on the innertubes since it was all text and this is the first time I’ve seen cow orkers.


Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: June 13, 2014, 5:36 pm

I wish there were a like button. Slug of toast. Nearly peed my pants laughing.


Comment from Pupster
Time: June 13, 2014, 6:55 pm

Stoaty Weasel, doing the jobs British Weasels won’t do anymore.


Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: June 13, 2014, 10:04 pm

That’s the very one, Can’t Hark!


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 13, 2014, 10:16 pm

Holy crap, you guys, that was like a glimpse back into another world.

I still have those shoes upstairs, though.


Comment from Davem123
Time: June 14, 2014, 1:36 am

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: June 19, 2007, 6:11 pm
Piles.
It has to be piles.

No wonder you fell in love.


Comment from Can’t Hark My Cry
Time: June 15, 2014, 3:05 am

Hey, Stoaty, we pay attention!


Comment from mojo
Time: June 15, 2014, 3:51 pm

“Well, the pay is lousy, but the opportunity to exercise petty authority in a capricious manner was pretty attractive…”

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