Uneasy lies the head that wears the goose
Shhhhh…Gromulin is on vacation this week and we’ve promised not to harsh his mellow with current events and filthy politics.
And so I give you: the Goose Master.
It was a three fete weekend, and the last of the three was in a village noted for its flock of geese. They peck around the village green and occasionally impede traffic and somehow have managed to avoid Meester Fox all these years. Or, at least, made babies quicker than he can eat them.
The highlight of this village fate is therefore naturally goose-related. To wit, goose-shit bingo. They don’t call it that. I’m not sure what they call it. We used to do something similar with cows back in Rhode Island, but a goose is more exciting as it generally shits itself shortly after being placed in the arena.
Mark the field off in a grid, sell grid positions, release the goose, the square he poops in first is the winner.
But this grid has upwards of a thousand positions, I heard someone say, and the prize is the not inconsiderable sum of £500. Serious bidness.
So enter the Goose Master, whose word is law. That’s him. In the hat. With the goose on it.
It’s more exciting than it sounds, at least the first-catch-your-goose phase. They aren’t tame. The poor goose always looks completely gobsmacked to find itself in an arena ringed with clapping humans.
And it shits almost immediately.
But that doesn’t necessarily count — only the first whole and proper poop counts, not some panicked half-hearted evacuation. This year, the poop fell across grid lines and the prize was split.
And a lovely weekend we had for it, too. We’re having a spell of warm weather (at last! We had the heat on repeatedly in June and early July). In a little while, we’re going to crack open a bottle of wine and sit outside under the stars. We can see the Milky Way out where we are.
*raises a glass to Grom*
Posted: July 18th, 2016 under adventure, britain, personal.
Comments: 9
Comments
Comment from pupster
Time: July 19, 2016, 12:18 am
Thought you might enjoy this from imgur:
Comment from pupster
Time: July 19, 2016, 12:20 am
Happy vacay Gromulin!
When we moved to MN a year ago, we spent a week without internets.
I miss those carefree days.
Comment from Nina
Time: July 19, 2016, 3:26 am
I’m close enough to Tahoe–a couple of hours–that I’m tempted to join Grom. I’m sure he’d love to welcome a total stranger on his mountain getaway!
Comment from Surly
Time: July 19, 2016, 4:22 am
Sweasel quoted on Ace 😀
Comment from Nina
Time: July 19, 2016, 4:45 am
This goose post?!
Comment from Tom
Time: July 19, 2016, 8:46 am
You’re lucky to be able to see the Milky Way. I’ve seen it twice, on a schooner cruise in Maine, and on Kos when the power died and the whole western half of the island was plunged into darkness, a regular occurrence apparently.
I remember thinking how amazing it was and then the scale of it hit me and I almost wet myself. If you have always lived in, or near, cities, it is easy to forget how big the universe is.
Comment from Gromulin
Time: July 19, 2016, 3:25 pm
I made the first graph of a Sweasel post! This is truly my Navin-Johnson-gets-the-new-phonebook moment. I’m somebody now! Had a close encounter of the Bear kind last night. Was getting ready to shut it down, checking the front door when I see this giant brown shape behind my car…sniffing it. Oh shit…what did the kids leave in the car? A Bear this big (his back was higher than the hood of my car) can peel open a car door like a jiffy-pop tin if they can get purchase with a paw inside the window frame. So, being the alpha male, I rattled the screen door at him. It took off like a wookie with it’s ass on fire, luckily. Followed closesly by a giant Husky or German Shepard with full afterburners on. Gotta wonder what he would do if he caught it…Well, off to Echo lake, then Bluesdays at Squaw Village later. Blissful ignorance is strong.(Thanks!)
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 19, 2016, 5:50 pm
Sounds bee-yootiful, Grom.
Our stargazing was thwarted by — the moon! It was full, or nearly full, and so bright it drowned out all but the brightest stars.
The wine was still on, though.
Comment from OldFert
Time: July 19, 2016, 8:36 pm
I was in the Army for a career so I saw the Milky Way lots of times. Kinda got used to it. One night, however, when we were at Schofield Barracks, Hawaii, the power went out on post and the sky came ablaze with stars. Wife & kids and I all headed outside (as did most of the neighbors). Pitch black (except for a few flashlights and chemlights). It was pretty cloud-free that night so the Milky Way was clearly visible. My kids (then in elementary school) had never seen so many stars in their lives.
Thanks for bringing back that memory.
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