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Dead Pool Easy as 123

Two hours late! Dangit, I’m sorry!

Gebrauchshund won the dick with Denise Nickerson, better known as the actress who played Violet Beauregarde. I only saw it just before usual Dead Pool Posting time last week, so no pool then.

I’ll spare you the snappy patter and get right to it.

On your mark! Get set! Type “Ruth Bader Ginsberg” like the wind!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.


Comment from Ben
Time: July 19, 2019, 8:00 pm

William Shatner

Comment from Janna
Time: July 19, 2019, 8:02 pm

Kirk Douglas

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: July 19, 2019, 8:11 pm

Richard Wayne “Dick” Van Dyke (born December 13, 1925) is an American actor, comedian, singer, and dancer, whose entertainment career has spanned seven decades.
Don’t be puttin’ off the inevitable, Dick… it’s unseemly and so like RBG!

Comment from thefritz
Time: July 19, 2019, 8:16 pm

Olivia de Havilland

Comment from Mad Ivan
Time: July 19, 2019, 8:20 pm

Henry Kissinger, formerly the (other) US SecState

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: July 19, 2019, 8:27 pm

I’ll just copy my entry from the last round!

Ruthie or Mad Nicky? Ruthie or Nicky? Decisions, decisions.

OK. Ruthie it is: Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Comment from Hutch
Time: July 19, 2019, 8:28 pm

Joanne Woodward

Comment from Bob
Time: July 19, 2019, 8:40 pm

hillary Clinton

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: July 19, 2019, 8:49 pm

Jeffrey Edward Epstein, who has been denied bail.

Comment from p2
Time: July 19, 2019, 9:05 pm

buzz aldrin…

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: July 19, 2019, 9:05 pm

Filmmaker James Ivory (half of Merchant-Ivory)

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: July 19, 2019, 9:36 pm

I regretfully pick Kirk Douglas who is 102 years old with a birthday coming up in December.

Although a lot of other people claimed to be, he really was Spartacus!

Betty White, darn you Janna!

Comment from LesterIII
Time: July 19, 2019, 10:01 pm

The author Beverly Cleary.

My “Unofficial Nomination In Spirit” is for the thieving scum that stole my daughter’s catalytic converter, 23inches of piping, and accompanying oxygen sensor and heat-shields. Your suffering shall be truly Epic and will make the ghosts of notorious Torturers of the past shudder and flee. I… will… find you all.

Comment from MrsMGunz
Time: July 19, 2019, 10:18 pm

Bob Dole. He’s still around, right?

Comment from Ea in ga
Time: July 19, 2019, 11:02 pm

Jimmy carter

Comment from BullDawgGirl
Time: July 19, 2019, 11:17 pm

Bill Clinton

Comment from Jeff Weimer
Time: July 19, 2019, 11:28 pm

Jerry Lee Lewis

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: July 19, 2019, 11:32 pm

Robert Wagner

Missed it by that much…..

Comment from JC
Time: July 19, 2019, 11:44 pm

Paul Ehrlich.

Comment from gulliblepratt
Time: July 19, 2019, 11:49 pm

Prince Phillip
Come on Die you old bastard

Comment from Mrs Carl
Time: July 20, 2019, 12:00 am

Clive James

Comment from Pupster
Time: July 20, 2019, 12:20 am

Mamie Van Doren

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: July 20, 2019, 1:51 am

Beaten to my first choice, Jeffrey Epstein, I will go to my second. Ghislaine Maxwell. For those who do not know who that is, it is Epstein’s significant other, and reported pimp and groomer who was in charge of feeding the ephebophilic passions of Epstein and those he favored for a price.

She was visibly moving in those rarified circles, knows too much to be allowed to live, and probably has a limited life expectancy.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from PatAZ
Time: July 20, 2019, 2:13 am

Maxine Waters. Go you mean old woman.

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: July 20, 2019, 2:45 am

Angela Merkel

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: July 20, 2019, 2:56 am

Dame Judi Dench

Comment from RimrockR
Time: July 20, 2019, 3:05 am

Chuck Yeager

Comment from Crowndot
Time: July 20, 2019, 3:10 am

Herb Alpert. He’s the “A” of A&M records, and perhaps high living will push him ahead of his elders?

Comment from Sk.Y M-39
Time: July 20, 2019, 3:19 am

Paging Robert Mugabe to the white courtesy phone in Hell’s lobby…

Comment from dissent555
Time: July 20, 2019, 3:47 am

oh, crikey, I’ll just go with my recent standby of Little Richard (Penniman).

Comment from catnip
Time: July 20, 2019, 4:58 am

Pierre Cardin

Comment from platypuss
Time: July 20, 2019, 11:03 am

Valerie Harper

Comment from Armybrat
Time: July 20, 2019, 12:10 pm

Late to the scrum but I see Desmond Tutu is still up for grabs, so I’m grabbin’ him

Comment from Pablo
Time: July 20, 2019, 12:56 pm

Well, if no one else has grabbed Rosalynn Carter, she’s mine!

Comment from Abu Qalam Al-Hindi
Time: July 20, 2019, 1:25 pm

His Holiness Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, formerly Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, formerly Joseph Alois Ratzinger. Might have heard of him.

Comment from Nana1
Time: July 20, 2019, 2:24 pm

Harold Lloyd

Comment from Oldowan
Time: July 20, 2019, 2:33 pm

John F’n Kerry

Comment from currently
Time: July 21, 2019, 12:27 am

Larry King

Comment from spunkus
Time: July 21, 2019, 12:36 am

Roberta McCain.

Comment from tonyc
Time: July 21, 2019, 1:14 am

I’m going back to my regular based on not picking someone I care the least little bit about, Bob Barker, come one down!

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: July 21, 2019, 1:27 am

@Subotai Bahadur – Thank you very much for exposing me to a new word: ephebophilic. I had not run across it before now.

My OED says:

ephebophile, n.

Brit. /ɛˈfiːbə(ʊ)fʌɪl/, /ɪˈfiːbə(ʊ)fʌɪl/, U.S. /əˈfibəˌfaɪl/, /ɛˈfibəˌfaɪl/

[‹ ancient Greek ἔϕηβος adolescent boy (› classical Latin ephēbus: see ephebe n.) + -phile comb. form. Compare ephebophilia n.]

An adult (esp. a homosexual) who is sexually attracted to adolescents. Cf. ephebophilia n.

…and of ephebophilia:

Sexual attraction in adults to adolescents, esp. homosexual attraction to adolescent males.

I suggest that a more accurate word to describe the “passions of Epstein and those he favored for a price” is hebephilic.

The prefix “hebe-” refers to pubescence in general, and so “hebephilia” is without the connotation of homosexuality.

It is my understanding that the despicable Epstein was obsessed with girls, not boys. But I could be wrong.

Cheers, regards, and thanks again!

Uncle Al

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: July 21, 2019, 5:46 am

Ya did it again! You picked Harold Lloyd (currently and retrospectively dead, since 1971) when you meant Norman Lloyd… but you gotta pick ‘im!

Comment from Eirik
Time: July 21, 2019, 3:32 pm

Given that my picks seem to live forever, I’ll go with Nichelle Nichols. I’ve got to get a list of rotten people to pick from….

Comment from BJM
Time: July 21, 2019, 11:44 pm

Waaaay late to the party…can I pick the entire Squad? No? Hmmmm…what to do? What to do? Omar or Tlaib?

Okay I’ll go with crazy Rashida Harbi Tlaib.

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: July 21, 2019, 11:51 pm

Uncle Al:

I yield to the OED. My online confirmation of the term said it involved a sexual attraction to children 15-18 [Tanner stages 3-4] by either sex, and hebephilia was attraction to pubescent children 11-14 [Tanner stages 2-3] by either sex.

Should have checked my daughter’s Compact OED.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from BJM
Time: July 22, 2019, 12:06 am

@Uncle Al…Subotai Bahadur is also known for coining the acronym TWANLOC which is currently driving the news cycle.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: July 22, 2019, 12:59 am

Re: TWANLOC – Well done, Subotai Bahadur, sir.

Re: OED – It must have been about 20 years ago that I purchased the most expensive piece of software I ever got: the Oxford English Dictionary on CD-ROM. It was something over $400. It was the best, most useful and satisfying software purchase I’ve ever made. I particularly like that it keeps tabs on the clipboard so all I have to do is select/copy and alt-tab to OED (which is always open on my computer) and the entry is right there.

$400-ish is very inexpensive compared to the print editions. I’m not even sure Oxford Press still sells it now that they’ve gone the subscription route.

Comment from J. S. Bridges
Time: July 22, 2019, 4:41 am

Right, then…(Is this thing actually on? Really?…Wondrous!)

I shall simply re-iterate, once again, my prior intent and statement (sort-of…), To Wit: Janey-insaney Fonda, ol’ Red-Pants Herownself – step lively, there, an’ Meet Thy Doom! (after a manner of speaking, like) You cannot escape your fully-justified Fate! C’mon, Janey-gal, be a good li’l witch an’ bite the dust…or, alternatively, just bite the bullet…You can do it, deary – much, much better folkses than yerself turn-toes-up all day long, and half the night…So: Croak It, bee-yatch – Do us all a solid, an’ win ol’ J.S. a prize, whilst I can still appreciate the “honor” of the thing…

Ah, well – Failing that, let’s at least have Notorious R.B.G. admit to assuming less-than-room-temp, anyway.

Comment from thefritz
Time: July 22, 2019, 12:03 pm

Paul Krassner, the counterculture satirist who coined the term “Yippie,” has died at 87. http://tinyurl.com/y2zxsnvj

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: July 22, 2019, 3:43 pm

Uncle Al:
1) Thanks for the compliment. I created TWANLOC actually about a decade ago, and it caught on in the political blogosphere. And yes, sadly it is becoming accurately current.

2) Compact OED. Long ago when one of my daughters was in middle school we were browsing the book section of the local Salvation Army, and we encountered a hardbound compact OED. They wanted $50 for it.

How often do you ever see a 7th grade girl begging [literally] for an OED? Yeah, she’s my kid. I got it for her, she still has it, and she still uses it.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from Nana1
Time: July 22, 2019, 8:30 pm

I’m old, give a break! I just can’t seem to get it through my brain it’s Norman and not Harold. Norman Lloyd, Norman Lloyd, Norman Lloyd. There, maybe it’ll stick for the next round.

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: July 22, 2019, 10:32 pm

Here’s hoping Norman Lloyd won’t last until “the next round.”

Comment from thefritz
Time: July 22, 2019, 10:40 pm

Crap. One of my musical heroes has passed.
RIP Art Neville.


Comment from ama
Time: July 23, 2019, 3:06 am

Am I scooping the news? Can I choose Erdogan of Turkey?

Comment from thefritz
Time: July 23, 2019, 7:34 pm

I’m goin’ out on a limb here and say platypuss is gonna be our next dick winner….

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: July 24, 2019, 7:17 pm

RIP Rutger Hauer

Comment from RushBabe
Time: July 24, 2019, 10:23 pm

Dammit! *shakes tiny fist of fury at spunkus for poaching the RINO king’s mater*

Robert Duvall, with no animus involved.

Comment from BJM
Time: July 25, 2019, 1:47 am

@Ric…suppose he said “Now it’s time to die”?

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: July 25, 2019, 7:51 pm

Deborah HH –

”Comment from Deborah HH
Time: July 19, 2019, 8:49 pm
Jeffrey Edward Epstein, who has been denied bail.

Sooo Close! Note to Hillary – sure income is down these days, but Arkancide is no place to save money on staff

Comment from Davem123
Time: July 26, 2019, 1:18 am

So very, very late to the party this time. I’m going with Bernie Sanders. The old commie bastard has to die sometime, right?

Comment from Ben
Time: August 6, 2019, 2:54 pm

Awww, nobody had the horrible racist hack Toni Morrison.
I mean racist in the literal sense not the current “I disagree with you” sense.

Comment from thefritz
Time: August 10, 2019, 1:29 pm

Holy Shit!

We have a winner.

Comment from Drew458
Time: August 10, 2019, 2:36 pm

Deborah HH for win with Epstein?

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: August 10, 2019, 2:47 pm

Congrats to Deborah HH !!
Jeffrey Edward Epstein (January 20, 1953 – August 10, 2019)
It’s great to win the Celebrity Dead Pool AND rid the world of a complete scumbag at one time!

Comment from Conchi
Time: August 10, 2019, 4:37 pm

Wait, no one had Glenn Campbell this time? Then Epstein’s surprising suicide it is. Shocked we are….

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 10, 2019, 4:42 pm

Congratulations, Deborah HH! Your winner was such a loser.

Next up: Ghislaine Maxwell

But I don't think she'll still be alive come next Friday.

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: August 10, 2019, 6:16 pm

Hello, Conchi!
Glenn Campbell died August 8, 2017…
We’re past that year now….

Comment from RushBabe
Time: August 10, 2019, 7:34 pm

Congrats, Deborah! Apparently hanging yourself in jail (while on suicide watch, no less!) is equal to shooting fish in a barrel,

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 10, 2019, 10:52 pm

Perhaps a cautious delay in paying the dick is in order, stoatie. There’s betting money on the possibility that Epstein isn’t dead, but was spirited away to keep him alive to testify about some Very Important and Frantic People.

I’m of the opinion that he’s probably dead, but there is just a bit of reasonable doubt.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 10, 2019, 11:16 pm

This gives new meaning to the term “assisted suicide.”

Comment from p2
Time: August 11, 2019, 6:32 pm

So you’re saying he’s “mostly dead”, Uncle Al?

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 12, 2019, 12:01 am

@p2 – Mostly dead? No, that suggests something like Schrödinger’s kiddie diddler. But if the “authorities” are to be believed (Hah!), somebody looked in the box high-security ultra-safe suicide-proof cell and the quantum state equation collapsed into a collapsed dead body.

Occam’s razor usually strongly deprecates so-called conspiracy theories, but this is a special case. A conspiracy by powerful perverts to murder Epstein is simpler than all that would have had to take place for Epstein to kill himself in that location. Also simpler is a conspiracy to spirit Epstein away, in good physical health, and lie about his death. Purpose: make Jeffie spill the beans.

I dunno. But I do know that govt spokes-slugs are always deceitful.

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