web analytics

Pimpin’ out the hens…

Another weekend, another church fête. This one is small but good; we went for the first time last year.

In attendance was a chicken rescue – the kind that rehabilitates battery hens.

I’ve got to do this some day. If you ever need a pick-me-up, go to YouTube and search “battery hens first” – you’ll get videos of the first time a rescue hen sees the sun or walks on grass or has a dust bath. It’s so inspirational.

In fairness to the farmers, they sell of rescue hens at the time of their first molt. Every chicken in the world – even the most cherished family pet – looks like shit during a molt. Half naked, grumpy and depressed.

Anyway, they were offering chicken cuddles in return for a donation. I didn’t want a cuddle – who wants to hold a common old ISA brown when I have exotic chickens I can hold for free? – but I did want to give them some money. Just as I did, a little boy walked by with his mom and lit up like a Christmas tree, so I said he could have my chicken cuddle. Pictured above.

Chicken keepers reproduce like drag queens – by drawing the young into our squalid fetishes.

It was only later I realized the lady at the rescue thought I was trying to foist my roosters off on her, when I complained about my cockerel flock.


Comment from ExpressoBold Pureblood
Time: July 31, 2023, 7:38 pm

Apparently the “little boy” is a Shark Week aficionado as well as an eager chicken cuddler. Small-brained animals are his life, it seems.

I wonder if he would have liked to cuddle a croc or a gator, each of those having small brains.

How do I know he is a Shark Week aficionado? His shirt decorations gave him away.

Comment from Pupster
Time: July 31, 2023, 10:29 pm

Guess who booked a beach house without coordinating with The Discovery Channel?

*points paw at self*

Luckily, most of the sharks are home watching so we good.

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: July 31, 2023, 11:11 pm

Good that the chickens and the fire pit from last Friday didn’t coincide eh?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 1, 2023, 12:30 pm

I noticed the sharks; I didn’t realize it was official merch.

Write a comment

(as if I cared)

(yeah. I'm going to write)

(oooo! you have a website?)

Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.

<< carry me back to ol' virginny