Guess who got a new computer?
Me. It was me. It was a trick question.
The laptop that I sit around and shitpost with is over ten years old. It still works fine for my purposes, but the keyboard is going (notably the spacebar, which is hard to work around) and it was starting to lock and complain more and more.
Stupid. I can easily afford a new one. But a certain innate cheapness is hard to overcome. So I bought a nice computer, but bowed to my thrifty instincts and bought an ex-display model. They knocked a few hundred off it.
Nice, bangy screen. Lots of memory. Good sound. Big hard drive. I was loving this thing.
Day two, after assorted updates, the soundcard stopped working. I had sound with Bluetooth speakers but not the native sound. I spent an entire day in Gates hell, fart-assing around with the Device Manager, Control Panel, downloading drivers, rebooting.. I so didn’t want to send this computer back.
In the end, Uncle B found the answer: a Windows update from December broke Realtek and Microsoft hasn’t bothered to fix it. The solution: do a firmware update on the computer. The search idea that called it up for him was the bizarre fact that sound worked with Bluetooth speakers.
I wonder how much of my life I’ve spent chasing Gates bullshit.
Anyway – new computer! w00t!
Posted: February 3rd, 2025 under personal.
Comments: 19
Comments
Comment from Mark Matis
Time: February 3, 2025, 7:27 pm
That is ONE of the reasons I am about to totally drop Windows.
I also do not use Intel nor NVidia products, because of their previous anti-competitive actions that the government never bothered to properly address!
Comment from Jon
Time: February 3, 2025, 7:56 pm
I had a similar sound experience with a new computer this weekend, but it was doing the speakers okay but not headphones. After all of that bs you mentioned it was okay after rebooting.
Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: February 3, 2025, 8:06 pm
Words cannot describe my loathing and contempt for Bill Gates and everything associated with him. Windows is a heap of dung. Sadly, his influence has been so baleful that there isn’t much of an alternative. And don’t get me started on his ‘philanthropic’ machinations. Perhaps when that nice President Rump is cleaning out the stables, he could spare a moment to ‘deal with’ the Gates of hell?
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 3, 2025, 8:30 pm
One of my computers is Linux, Mark. It has things I like and things I don’t. My main objection is that I have so much more experience with Windows.
Comment from Jeff Weimer
Time: February 3, 2025, 9:07 pm
Yeah, I’m working on a ~2012 laptop that’s had a couple of upgrades (SSD, memory) and repairs (keyboard) that I got free in 2017(company said keep it). It’s starting to complain about being alive.
And to think, I used to upgrade yearly back in the 90s/early 2Ks.
Comment from Skandia Recluse
Time: February 3, 2025, 9:31 pm
I have the same problem with RealTek audio. I just use Bluetooth headphones (until they broke) and now Bluetooth ear buds. Eventually, I will get Bluetooth speakers. Probably.
Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: February 3, 2025, 10:46 pm
I am not a Techie. Mrs Vegetable and I both retired right about the time of the Windows 8 fiasco. I had switched to iPads by then but she had always used Windows at work, so we bought her a new Windows Laptop. It was impossible. I had to set it up for her and I couldn’t find anything; Classic Shell wasn’t available yet. Further there were months of constant long updates. Finally she just stopped using it because she couldn’t figure it out, and every time I tried to figure it out for her, I’d end up getting angry. Was it an update problem? Software incompatibility? Some setting I needed to change but couldn’t find? Remember I never spoke fluent DOS.
So, after six months, I bought her an iMac. I have never had to help her with it since, even once. I have one myself nowadays. Did I give up a lot of flexibility and control over the software? Sure, but I personally don’t need that. Oh, and shit just works ….every time.
.
Plus I could NEVER agree to paying an annual subscription fee for the privilege of using Microsoft Office.
Comment from Deborah HH
Time: February 3, 2025, 10:47 pm
Stoaty—that looks like a huge touchpad! I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that wide.
Maybe there’s a digital storm out there—blowing up our computers. My Dell has been excruciatingly slow—long lag between keystroke and the screen and other hair-pulling annoyances. JavaMan sat down a few days ago to do some routine maintenance—hopped up in a few minutes, and said he was getting me a new computer! Err—ok.
An ASUS Vivobook 17.3″ laptop is now winging its way to me. JavaMan and JavaSon have been driving ASUS for a long time, so I was agreeable. The only thing I demanded was a BIG screen.
Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: February 4, 2025, 1:23 am
“I will own your operating systems, and your personal data, and my software will shit the bed harder with each cool new update… And you will like it.”
“You will eat zee bugs, and your machines will have zee bugs.”
Your pal, lord, and master
Bill Gates
Comment from Armybrat
Time: February 4, 2025, 4:00 am
Husband and I are definitely non-tech people. We switched to Apple many years ago when I was watching my Windows PC bog down for HOURS running a malware/virus/just whatever shit. We now have a MAC laptop (I still can’t figure out my way around it), 2 IPads, 2 IPhones and 2 Apple Watches. Wanna know why? Because dumbshits like my husband and I can just plug shit in and it all talks together and works. We can upgrade products at will, plug it in and it all talks together and WORKS. In addition, I can add and delete home shit with just a simple “do you want this?” No to the appliances, yes to built-in home speakers so I can blast my music on the lanai/pool or any room I want. Apple ain’t all great but it makes my life simple.
Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: February 4, 2025, 10:42 am
“But we made it do better things you never wanted in the first place!
Made things more complicated!
Took away things we didn’t like that you use all the time, and rearranged things, making them harder to find!
Took up another 5 gig of memory and half your terabyte of storage with our cool stuff!
Also we’ll be updating your machine everyday for the next week fixing bugs and vulnerabilities that should never have made it past QA in the first place!
Why are you mad at us?
Oh…shut up peasant, that’s not even your machine, it’s ours, and we’ll do whatever we want, whenever we want, read the license agreement.”
Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: February 4, 2025, 10:56 am
An apology – so rotten are my eyesight and typing these days that I typed ‘President Rump’ instead of Trump in my rant about Gates. It might have been mildly amusing but it was actually a genuine mistake which I only spotted this morning. My contempt for Gates remains undimmed. My feelings for your President are at the far opposite end of the scale.
I shall now go and dig for worms.
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 4, 2025, 3:51 pm
I guess that is a big touchpad, Deborah. If you press the top right side of it, it becomes a number pad (the numbers glow).
Comment from peacelovewoodstock
Time: February 4, 2025, 4:40 pm
I’m with Armybrat, we got off the Windows train 20 years ago. Once you go Mac, you never go back.
Not perfect but so much better than the never-ending nightmare that is Windows.
Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: February 4, 2025, 6:40 pm
@Uncle B – I, for one, found it amusing.
He’s our “Rump”, and I’ll proudly stand next to him any time.
If he pulls this off he’ll score his place in history beside presidents like Georgie Wash and Teddy.
Comment from Mark Matis
Time: February 4, 2025, 7:01 pm
Hey S. Weasel, have you looked at Trinity Desktop over Linux?
Does a rather good job of emulating Windows.
Trintydesktop.org
Comment from Uncle Al
Time: February 4, 2025, 8:25 pm
@Uncle B — JFTR, it never occurred to me it wasn’t a typo.
There are a few quirks that President Trump has that are mildly annoying to me, but that’s of the same order of importance as being given a Bugatti Chiron for a birthday present and being annoyed that its key fob is the wrong color.
Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: February 4, 2025, 8:47 pm
Agreed, Uncle Al. That sound in the far distance is British conservatives cheering you on. It is glorious to behold and we are all very jealous.
Comment from Anonymous
Time: February 5, 2025, 5:10 pm
Difficult to trust anything from a man who thinks the mass rape of girls is no big deal, certainly not worth upsetting the fine, upstanding Kier Stürmer.
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