Dead Pool 186:
Lavendergirl does it again with Jimmy Swaggart. Who knew he was still alive?
This paragraph from the Wikipedia article cracked me up:
On October 11, 1991, Swaggart was found in the company of a prostitute for a second time. He was pulled over by a police officer in Indio, California, for driving on the wrong side of the road. With him in the vehicle was a woman named Rosemary Garcia. According to Garcia, Swaggart had stopped to propose sex to her on the side of the road. She later told reporters: “He asked me for sex. I mean, that’s why he stopped me. That’s what I do. I’m a prostitute.” This time, rather than confessing his sins to his congregation, Swaggart told those at Family Worship Center, “The Lord told me it’s flat none of your business.”
“The Lord told me it’s flat none of your business” is going to be my new catchphrase. Either that, or “that’s what I do. I’m a prostitute.”
Ready? Go!
0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.
1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).
2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.
3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.
4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.
5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.
6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.
7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.
8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.
The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.
Note: I am woefully behind on dick deliveries. If I owe you one, you’ll know how long. I ain’t gived up, but I haven’t drawn much since lockdown. Some day, your heirs might hear from my heirs.
Posted: July 4th, 2025 under deadpool, personal.
Comments: 44
Comments
Comment from RushBabe
Time: July 4, 2025, 6:00 pm
Joseph Robinette Biden, come on down!
Comment from BullDawgGuy
Time: July 4, 2025, 6:00 pm
George Soros
Once Again RushBabe what happened to Eva Marie Saint
Did you see his sons Tweet “Happy Independence Day! Here’s to defeating tyranny!” Clueless on what defeating tyranny means.
Tyranny was what Joe Biden put us through during his first July 4th in office telling us we could not assemble in groups greater than five and that was only if we had all been vaccinated.
Comment from BullDawgGirl
Time: July 4, 2025, 6:00 pm
King Charles
Comment from Ben
Time: July 4, 2025, 6:02 pm
William Shatner
Comment from G_d’s Middle Finger
Time: July 4, 2025, 6:09 pm
Dick Van Dyke
Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: July 4, 2025, 6:25 pm
Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Comment from p2
Time: July 4, 2025, 6:39 pm
Gonna poach Scott Adams, Dilbert creator.
Comment from Unce Al
Time: July 4, 2025, 6:52 pm
He’s only 78 but looks and acts like he’s 108.
My pick this time is Jerrold Lewis “Jerry” Nadler, reputed to have the worst body odor in the U.S. Congress. I’ve never smelled the actual man but I’ve read enough to know that his politics stink pretty bad. Plus, he’s an asshole.
Comment from ExpressoBold Pureblood
Time: July 4, 2025, 7:51 pm
Alan Greenspan!!!
Escape the heat in NYC in Hell, Al… Andrea really wants you to take the trip!
Comment from steve
Time: July 4, 2025, 8:37 pm
Violet Hensley, yet again.
108 years young. A kind of female Methuselah, in her own way.
Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: July 4, 2025, 9:32 pm
Repeating the last Deadpool.
I don’t like having to make this pick, but is does not look good. The Democrats in New York City just picked Zohran Mamdani as their candidate for Mayor. He is functionally an open Communist, has a platform Marx would endorse, and is a Shia-Twelver. The reason I am picking him for the dead pool is that he has so many different groups who are likely to try to take him out. Aside from political opponents and religious opponents who might do it, there is the matter of those who may try to take him out . . . and blame it on the other side either politically or religiously in order to deliberately trigger a violent reaction inside our country or against our country.
Subotai Bahadur
Comment from The Neon Madman
Time: July 4, 2025, 10:05 pm
Imma poaching June Lockhart again.
Comment from nbc
Time: July 4, 2025, 10:22 pm
Bob Dylan
Comment from Carl
Time: July 4, 2025, 10:27 pm
Duke of Kent
Comment from Mrs Carl
Time: July 4, 2025, 10:27 pm
Duchess of Kent
Comment from blake
Time: July 4, 2025, 11:03 pm
Well, since Eva Marie Saint turned 101 and nobody’s taken her, I’ll go for her! HBD, Ms. Saint!
Comment from Teej
Time: July 5, 2025, 12:59 am
Hunter Biden. Can’t pay his lawyers and his paintings don’t sell anymore.
Comment from MrsMGunz
Time: July 5, 2025, 1:25 am
Connie Francis
Comment from Deborah HH
Time: July 5, 2025, 2:16 am
Raul Castro
Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: July 5, 2025, 5:26 am
The oldest living Tony winner (who hasn’t been picked before) – also the only actor to win an Oscar for playing a character with no name:
Joel Grey
Comment from thefritz
Time: July 5, 2025, 11:32 am
Wow, got caught up in the 4th celebrations and missed a timely DP pick. I guess no one else loathes ol’ Dick Cheney like me. Go Dick go!
Comment from technochitlin
Time: July 5, 2025, 11:47 am
Again, Mick Jagger… I’ll be sad
Comment from Jeff Weimer
Time: July 5, 2025, 12:01 pm
Bruce Willis
Comment from platypuss
Time: July 5, 2025, 1:10 pm
Stickin’ with Mel Brooks.
Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: July 5, 2025, 1:43 pm
Hmmm
Should I go with my desire to win or for the good of the nation?
Okay, America First!
Nancy Pelosi…
Comment from Nana 1
Time: July 5, 2025, 3:33 pm
Mitch McConnell
Comment from dissent555
Time: July 5, 2025, 8:03 pm
Connie Stevens again
Comment from Uncle Al
Time: July 5, 2025, 10:28 pm
@Some Vegetable — Thank you. May your sacrifice not be in vain! 🙏🙏🙏
edit: No, I’d never actually pray for anyone’s death, but I can assure you that when the time comes I will read Rancid Nancy’s obituary with great satisfaction.
Comment from Tim Carlson
Time: July 6, 2025, 12:04 am
Yet again switching it up and picking Liza Minnelli, born March 12, 1946, which makes her 79 years young.
Just because.
Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: July 6, 2025, 8:04 am
@Uncle Al – there’s schadenfreude and then there’s just freude. I refuse to feel guilt over the demise of someone who so actively worked for their (her) own gain to the detriment of an entire nation. That’s like telling me I shouldn’t feel happy when a class 5 hurricane fizzles out.
Comment from Ea
Time: July 6, 2025, 1:12 pm
Bill Clinton
Comment from Pupster
Time: July 6, 2025, 2:41 pm
Sonia Sotomayor
Comment from AltBBrown
Time: July 6, 2025, 3:13 pm
Harvey Weinstein.
Comment from Armybrat
Time: July 7, 2025, 12:15 am
Gene Shalit is 99…who knew?! And so I pick him!
Comment from ama
Time: July 7, 2025, 2:05 am
Willie Nelson
Comment from gulliblepratt
Time: July 7, 2025, 4:41 am
Willaim Shatner
Comment from Gromulin
Time: July 7, 2025, 4:55 pm
Ozzy Osbourne
Comment from Tonyc
Time: July 9, 2025, 7:25 am
Yoko Ono
Comment from RimrockR
Time: July 10, 2025, 11:24 pm
Bill Gates
Comment from LesterIII
Time: July 11, 2025, 4:59 pm
Yikes! I was out celebrating my independence 400/600/800yds and 175grs at a time last week and completely forgot to make my Pick fo’the Dick when I returned to civilization! Happily, my pick hasn’t been poached:
Louis “My sphincter’s got some Divine Space-Angel mileage on it!” Walcott, AKA Farrakhan. Insufferable race-baiting zealot that he is, I hope his demise is agonizing and prolonged. Ptooey!
Comment from Gordon R. Durand
Time: July 12, 2025, 12:41 am
Alan Dershowitz says the list is real and he knows the names that are on it, so I’m putting him on Arkancide watch.
Comment from Malcolm Kirkpatrick
Time: July 13, 2025, 5:44 am
Ali Khamenei. The Iranian people hate the Shiite theocracy
Comment from HottyTottyGirl
Time: July 14, 2025, 1:14 am
Richard Dreyfuss
Comment from thefritz
Time: July 17, 2025, 1:06 pm
MrsMGunz wins with Connie Francis!
Write a comment
Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.<< carry me back to ol' virginny