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Ace is asking for submissions. I know there’s an automatic generator out there, but no time to find it.

Update: aha! Here’s the automatic generator! Thanks to ConservativeBelle.


Comment from Lokki
Time: June 28, 2007, 2:47 pm

There’s nothing I enjoy more than a photo of Ted Kennedy looking like he dropped his last bottle, and the liquor stores won’t open for 3 hours.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 29, 2007, 8:40 am

Floodtide McGoo

(With apologies most profound to Edgar Allan Poe)

He was many and many a mile afar
In North Texas – skirting the poo;
Some friends he would visit – waiting parts for the car
That doofus, Steamboat McGoo.
Yes – that lovable curmudgeon known best for bad verse
That muse-muncher – Steamboat McGoo.

He had driven and driven for hundreds of miles
Through MO and then Clinton’s home state,
Then in Dallas he stopped so some friends – they would smile
Seeing once more his tanned balding pate.
Not knowing what passed just a bit further south –
Where he’d thought about basing home-plate.

Marble Falls was awash with floodwaters and mud
And Lake Travis was rising by yards;
Said Spicewood compadres – “Roads covered with crud!”
“Your land searching just ain’t in the cards.”
“The bridges are out – so’s the power, and Bud,
“We been laid-up – falling down hard.”

So McGoo headed north through the traps of OK,
Watching speed signs and noting terrain.
Not wanting a ticket – yet another to pay
OK’s coffers won’t bulge once again!
No – Mcgoo doesn’t much like this land of OK
Where the cops loved seeing his pain.

Arriving at home, McGoo’s pooped – and a sight.
He sits down to scan blogs and the news.
New flat-screen craps out, Senate’s vote goes quite right
And at Weasel’s, the minions mused.
“I’ll travel again when the weather is bright
And the health is improved at McGoo’s.”

Whoa – Lokki – you met the Muse and she is yours!

And…I really, really like the Islamic Rage Boy over on the left. Nobody’s gonna mess with a dude packin’ two Aunt Jemima’s.

Comment from Lokki
Time: June 29, 2007, 10:34 am

Welcome home, Steamboat!

Comment from whtshrbbt/amuirin
Time: June 29, 2007, 10:57 am

You can’t come home yet. We haven’t finished the pork and bean sculpture. Also, we turned your toilet into a still for the kegger on Saturday.

Lysol flavored Moonshine.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 29, 2007, 11:11 am

Yeah – had to change my plans. Damned weather. Youse folks can carry on with the P&B sculpture. I can’t wait to see it.

I was wondering who cleaned the commode. I didn’t know it was white inside, too?!

I love the post photo of Ted (Swimmer) Kennedy. It looks like he’s realizing that he’s gonna have to go dry for hours.

Per my – ahem – poem, my new (

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 29, 2007, 11:12 am

Odd – something cut the following from my mindless comment:

Per my – ahem – poem, my new (

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 29, 2007, 11:13 am

Huh? Let’s examine the source carefully and try again.

Per my – ahem – poem, my new (14 days old) flat-screen crapped out on power-up. Best Buy swapped it out, no questions. So I’m back to my glorious 2-monitor setup!

To everyone: Thanks for the nice things said in my absence. (sniff).

I got a ton of e-mail and phone calls to catch up on.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 29, 2007, 11:15 am

Weasel – is there something this doofus should know about parenthetic “less-than” symbols? I originally had (“less than symbol” 14 days old) in the post.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 29, 2007, 11:32 am

McGoo! Dude! It’s…it’s been really hard without you. Nobody talks to me and the place stinks of badgers.

Yes, “less than” is also left angle bracket — html tags are put inside angle brackets, so browsers ignore everything after a left angle bracket and before a right angle bracket.

Geekery to the rescue! For special characters, you can make them print using what’s called character entities. These are a string comprised of an ampersand, followed by a mnemonic, closed by a semicolon. So if you type &-glt; (leave out that dash), you get <

Some other fun mnemonics (minus their bracketing symbols):

cent ¢ pound £ euro € yen ¥
copy © reg ® trade ™

You get the idea.

Comment from Dawn
Time: June 29, 2007, 11:42 am

Welcome back McGoo. As soon as you left the other kids started calling me Piggy.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: June 29, 2007, 12:25 pm

I resemble that remark.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 29, 2007, 12:33 pm

Piggy? How rude! Pay them no mind, Dawn. They’re just jealous of you and your mighty Comment-fu.

Thanks, Weasel. I suspected that I was doing some mysterious control-character stuff. Now maybe I can learn how to do bold and italics and stuff like other commenters here. I’ve been secretly envious of these abilities, but was too proud (and lazy) to mention it.

Piccadilly near-bombed! Thank goodness the Towel-Headed Ones are as incompetent as they are ridiculous. This may end up being a very interesting summer.

I expect that at any time now a scuba-diving terrorist will come swimming up my home sewer pipe and popping out my (freshly cleaned) toilet. I may have to park a medicinal shotgun nearby for the duration.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 29, 2007, 12:35 pm

I just posted another comment – and it disappeared. I feel – inadequate today.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 29, 2007, 1:26 pm

Spam filter. I kicked it loose. Of course, now it’s all out of sequence and you look like a doof.

Envy no more! Do this for <b>bold</b> and <i>itals</i>. And, yes, I had to use character entities to make the angle brackets show up in the post; they don’t usually.

You’re not inadequate, McGoo. You’re differently-adequate.

Comment from Gnus
Time: June 29, 2007, 1:49 pm

Attaboy Mcgoo, keep askin’ questions and I’ll know a little bit about this HTML stuff. No more envying the kewl kids fer me.

Well, not so much anyways.

Comment from amuirin
Time: June 29, 2007, 2:06 pm

Wow. Just read about Picadilly.

Glad there were no fireworks.

Comment from amuirin
Time: June 29, 2007, 2:13 pm

they were going to use a cell phone to detonate. It was ‘ladie’s night’.

Comment from Dawn
Time: June 29, 2007, 2:17 pm

Don’t you just love Drudge? I don’t have cable television. We get one channel (ABC, I think) and it is very fuzzy. If I didn’t have high speed Internet, I would get all my news from Rush, just like the libs fear.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 29, 2007, 3:01 pm

I haven’t turned on the television in two years. And I’m not one of those “I don’t watch television” assholes, either. I just don’t want it yammering while I’m reading and, thanks to the interweb, that’s what I’m doing during what used to be TV time. One year, I came home from Christmas vacation and…just didn’t turn it on. I really ought to cancel cable, but last time I did that, OJ whacked his wife and I had to resubscribe. I had to. You understand.

I watch DVD’s on my laptop computer when I get really blitzed.

Comment from Lokki
Time: June 29, 2007, 3:26 pm

The Lokki’s have mostly broken the TV habit…We watch old movies, and I like Formula 1 racing, and the occasional baseball game.

Lately, however, Mrs. Lokki started watching “American Idol” (yes, friends, sad but incurable, apparently). She insists it’s only because ‘everyone’ at the office talks about it, and she was tired of being left out of the conversation.

I retreat to my little den and read or surf the net.

Oh and Steamboat we did NOT call Dawn Piggy the moment you left. First we waited almost 30 minutes and second, we only sort of implied it a lot. Who knew she was clever enough to pick up on the hints?

As for Comodes, I’m confused. The only comode I know is “Ice Cream alcomode”.

Comment from Lokki
Time: June 29, 2007, 3:27 pm

Oh and Weasel, we have not been ignoring what’s ‘is name who runs this site. So as he gets back from England, we’ll introduce you.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 29, 2007, 4:18 pm

Y’know – sometimes it’s scary how much Weasels and minions think alike. I turn on the TV for OJ-like and 9-11-like incidents and (on Tuesday) for Nova.

Lokki, I can’t believe you just blurted out here in public that Mrs. Lokki watches American Idol. That’s marriage/private type info, I thought. But…I understand her reasoning. I don’t follow sports of any kind, and have had to endure/tolerate being completely ignorant & silent(!) in sport-like conversations. I think of it as a study in patience.

Yeah, Dawn. I love Drudge too – both for his bird-dogging of interesting articles and info (um, kinda like our Host – yes?) and because he pisses off the MSM so much.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 29, 2007, 4:20 pm

Ooooh – look at the bold thingy! I’m excited now.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 29, 2007, 4:25 pm

Wabbit – looks like they found a second device/car elsewhere. I hadn’t heard about the cellphone detonator thing. I’d read (this morning) that the guy rammed a building or whatever – something like a suicide bomber. When it didn’t go off, he ran. But that was an earlier report.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 29, 2007, 4:25 pm

I didn’t get the sports gene, either. I mean, I was pleased when the Red Sox won the World Series so they could finally shut the fuck up about the Curse of the Bambino, but that’s about the extent of it.

My dad was like, “yeah…I don’t follow sports either. Except football, of course. You do watch football, right?”

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 29, 2007, 4:40 pm

We are from the same genetic region or sumpin, Weasel. I bet my tax specialist knows your tax specialist.

No sports gene present here, except in the early 80’s(?) when the Dallas Cowboys were going for their nth superbowl win. I got mildly interested because everyone else was acting all rabid and mouth-foamy.

Curse of the Bambino? That sounds … contageous … or sumpin. Is it – like – adult diaper rash?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 29, 2007, 4:46 pm

Oh, you know, the Sox won the pennant, like, twenty times in the first two years of major league baseball, and then they traded Babe Ruth and got piles. It had something to do with Ruth tossing his baby grand into the bathtub or something.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 29, 2007, 5:31 pm

Ah-ha. Babe. Bambino. It’s all clear now. (wipes drool from chin.)

And now that familiar feeling of doofosity washes over me.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 30, 2007, 1:16 pm

Don’t feel bad, Steamboat. I remember when I was a senior in high school and one of the jocks came up to me and said “Did you hear? Vince Lombardi died!” I I responded “Dang! News Year’s eve won’t be the same without him and his band!”

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