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Run away, little girl!



Case in point: the leech (seen here struttin’ at yet another village fête).

We have a sort of moat-slash-drainage ditch out the back that may or may not have leeches in. Exciting leeches. Leeches that would guarantee a raftload of excitable government leechophiles descend on us like a ton of unwashed hippie.

You know what else the prospect of leeches in our ditch guarantees? That I personally never, ever, ever, ever, EVER set foot in that fucking ditch.

So help me, that one scene in African Queen. With the leeches. 






Comment from Allen
Time: July 30, 2009, 6:36 pm

Panty hose, that’s the ticket. I picked up that trick from my cousin when I had to do my romps through the jungle. He’s in this book

That’s him on the cover. His biggest worry in Vietnam? He’d get captured by the VC wearing panty hose.

It really does work, well against Vietnamese leeches and Central American leeches. I don’t know ’bout them Limey Leeches.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 30, 2009, 6:52 pm

I’d think so, Allen,

Then again…

A friend of mine was in the military, trained out in terrain like this and one day received an unwelcome guest, burrowed into an extremely valuable part of his, um, anatomy.

Probably worth the embarrassment of being caught wearing tights, I’d have said!

Comment from gnus
Time: July 30, 2009, 9:20 pm

Oh hells yes, Uncle B. Personally, I’d wear panties under the stockings if it’d stop, gasp, that. Two pair, even.

Comment from Phineas
Time: July 30, 2009, 10:36 pm

OMG I too have gollywoobles from Bogart’s leech scene when I saw that as a kid. The idea of creepy crawlers running amok all other my skin let alone sucking the blood. (deep breathnig) But the scene from “Stand By Me” when Will Wheaton pulls the leech from his inside the front of his tighty whities..help me please….

Comment from scubafreak
Time: July 31, 2009, 12:04 am

Phin, I was just thinking of that one too….

Comment from Tesla
Time: July 31, 2009, 12:34 pm

1. Collect leeches
2. Sell to U.S. government
3. Call them nationalized obamacare

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: July 31, 2009, 2:52 pm

This calls for Black Adder quotes:

Doctor: An extraordinary new cure has just been developed for exactly this kind of sordid problem.
Edmund: It wouldn’t have anything to do with leeches, would it?
Doctor: I had no idea you were a medical man.
Edmund: Never had anything you doctors didn’t try to cure with leeches. A leech on my ear for ear ache, a leech on my bottom for constipation.
Doctor: They’re marvelous, aren’t they?
Edmund: Well, the bottom one wasn’t. I just sat there and squashed it.
Doctor: You know the leech comes to us on the highest authority?
Edmund: Yes. I know that. Dr. Hoffmann of Stuttgart, isn’t it?
Doctor: That’s right, the great Hoffmann.
Edmund: Owner of the largest leech farm of Europe.

Comment from Jack
Time: July 31, 2009, 8:13 pm

First time I saw a leech, I remember picking it up and thinking, ‘What a strange, flat earthworm this is, attaching itself in a weird way to my thumbnail.’ Eek.. I am much wiser now.

Comment from Lokki
Time: August 2, 2009, 4:42 pm

Oh children, there are much worse things that leaches out there…..

Sweet Dreams

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