sweasel.com

This is the thanks we all get for putting that poor dead squirrel back together.

It’s okay. I reassembled him wrong.

Congrats Stoaty, you’ve now enjoyed your
15 seconds of infamy.
Heh ™

Congratulations, Weasel! May your digestive efforts be rewarded with success.

It’s like Dad always said: “If ya ain’t pissin’ ’em off regularly, ya ain’t doin’ it right!”

I’m not sure what any of this has to do with your situation, but…well…there it is. And not before time, either.

Sweasel, maybe this’ll make up for it…

jam-packed with real answers to a number of less-than-burning questions-camels store fat, not water, in their humps; only five out of every 100,000 paper clips are used to clip papers; the first American president was in fact Peyton Randolph

The Book of General Ignorance

From the title I could’ve written it myself, but I didn’t. Just a coincidence.

(that’s a long URL, hope it works, avoids Lokki-prison, etc.)

You know, I didn’t want to say anything, but I had this whole Baader-Meinhof thing going on with that Squirrel skeleton. It was strictly deja vu all over again, I sez to myself, but then, in the course of a day, you see so many damn’d squirrel skeletons, that it was hard to be sure.

Weas – if you hear any shouting, be sure to come and check the filter quick tonight, ok? The spam’s been running heavy on ass porn and via8ra and I’m all little worried about this crowd. There’s this one guy who just won’t stop tapping his foot.

Careful Lokki – I heard this chant coming from the Filter earlier:

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

Nothing in the filter but messages from gosogycy,neptun, yaderats and insamiflopoma. Yes, that’s a cut and paste. We’re getting lots of gibberish spam lately.

No, sorry Weasel. That was me, posting while drunk.

Well, then, for the last time, Badger, I do not want to buy any Uknerfag cetunu kiooto.

Insamiflopoma.

Sounds like one of those diseases that burn and itch, but that can be cured without surgery.

Or erectile dysfunction. (What I jokingly refer to as the “dangling participle” problem.)

I wonder if that e-word’ll get me a visa to the Filter?

Ia! Ia! Hastur! (just practicing).

Phew! It didn’t.

Man, you’d think the Powers That Be at said company would have better things to do than track you down over a squirrel picture! But, we always knew you were a trouble maker!

Eh. It’s a science-for-kids type site and the letter did sound like it came out of somebody who makes a living breaking up fights on the playground. Links being the lingua franca of the internet, a little link love usually turns out to be payment enough. In fact, I’m sure I got investigated because hits from here to build-a-squirrel were turning up in the usage logs.

I guess our hits smell of weasel 🙁

I went there to construct my own squirrel, but I guess I’m biologically disinclined, because I tried to put a femur on its neck or something, and the dang thing locked up on me. I think I broke it with my impressive feats of stupidity. :3 It’s amazing how much havoc you can cause on a breakfast of peanuts and orange soda.

It could have been worse, you know. You could have taken the image from a law office website. xD

Why birds feed spiders to their young:

Lead researcher Dr Kate Arnold said: “We found that taurine has a significant impact on the personality and memory of the birds. Those who were fed taurine as chicks were on average much bolder and better at learning in adulthood, than their counterparts who were not fed the extra taurine. This is the first time that we have been able to fully explain why birds feed their young spiders at a particular stage in their development and how parents can permanently alter the behaviour of their offspring via the food that they select.”

Ut oh. I’ve been sprinkling kitty vitamins containing taurine into the pussoes’ food. Maybe this is why Damien grew up to be such an obnoxious little shitbag.

Yeah, I had difficulty building a proper squirrel, too. For some reason, the jaw was way down with the feet in the parts box, but the pelvis was in two pieces and up by the skull. So I kept trying to put his pelvis on his face. It was an innocent error…

Competition For ‘The World’s Most Beautiful’ Bottom Criticized In Sweden

I fold.

..”Alleging that the competition promotes “pornography,” several Swedish newspapers have taken exception to the competition.”…

…eh? Since when do the Swedes have an aversion to porn? Maybe their ‘immigrants’ are finally gaining some political traction.

Lol. I have to share this with somebody.

Every morning, my local radio station runs what they call the “dumb criminal story” of the day. They hand-select their favorite news reports of criminal cases that have the perpetrators looking less than intelligent, and we get to hear several throughout the course of the morning. Usually we hear about would-be robbers who fall asleep outside their victims’ buildings, people who turn themselves in for rewards, and you know, stuff like that. This morning was different. I’ll try to recreate it as best as I can, and no, the names were NOT changed to protect the innocent.

It’s always a shame when cops go bad, and this morning’s story is no exception. Officer Nuts was set to go out on patrol one morning, when he broke out of his canine unit kennel and took off to do some vigilante work of his own. He trotted down to the local supermarket and stood outside the door until the motion sensor caught him and the door opened. He went in, and promptly made a beeline for the deli. He snatched a package of prime rib and dashed out of the store with it. Although his valiant effort in ridding the world of evil meat might seem heroic, vigilante work is discouraged in the police department, and the liberation of meat is considered theft by some cranky store owners. Regardless, all his time with the police department hadn’t seemed to give Officer Nuts much awareness of security cameras, as the store’s caught the entire act on film. Nuts is currently on probation and awaiting a hearing.

I kid you not. They’re going to waste tax dollars on having a hearing for a DOG. xD I nearly crashed the car this morning I was laughing so hard. I wish my dogs were as smart as that German Shepard. I can’t even get them to figure out that if you go out and stand in the rain, shaking the water off won’t do you any good if you continue to stand out there. 🙁

I do not want to know why they named a police dog “Nuts.” There just cannot be a happy reason for it.

Yeah. :p I called the radio station to compliment them on the hilarious story, and the DJ mentioned that he wondered why they chose that particular name. I said I had a feeling I didn’t want to know. xD

Well, if you are in his town during his watch, don’t put contraband down your pants.

Re: taurine:
I fed Foxy extra vitamins with taurine as well. The other night I said, “Foxy, go give your brother (Pablo) a kiss.” And he got up, went over to Pablo, and licked him on the face. My mother, who witnessed the whole exchange, got up and said, “I’m outta here – that cat scares me.”
Next week, we master driving!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/coollibrarian/470125753/in/set-1691866/

Awwww…cute cat pitchers! Just the way to end a Friday. Foxy growed up good.

Damien is a smart little bugger and an excellent hunter (alas), but he’s weirdly stunted. He’s fifteen months old, and about 2/3 the size of Charlotte. He doesn’t look fully grown, either. He’s got a skinny butt and a little knob head. The vet said some cats are just small, but I’ve never had one like this.

She was right about one thing; I shouldn’t’ve named him Damien. He’s an evil little fucker; it was asking for trouble. I’m naming the next one Whiskers or Puff or something, if this one doesn’t kill me in my sleep.

Jessica,
HA! I used to catch catfish at the park with bologna.
Foxy is a handsome boy.

Weasel,
You have to be careful what you name your children. Something along the same lines as ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’. Will a ‘Bannister’ be more successful in life or a ‘Joseph’? Will a ‘Hillary’ (like Damien) send chills down peoples’ spines or a ‘Monica’?

I too agree that names hold a lot of power. I named my cats Nuisance and Bother, and each one has lived up to his name most spectacularly. Before them, we had Trouble, and she was the worst hellcat of the bunch. :/ We used to laugh at her kitty treats, because they always seemed to “get into Trouble.” Suffice it to say she was a greedy little thing. :p

Well, he showed up at my back door on 6/6/06. What would YOU have called him? Fluffy McPufferson? I thought “The Antichrist” would look bad on his food dish.

Weez:

I, for one, and convinced that you have, in fact, ceased, but I suspect you’re being less than honest in regards to having also desisted.

By naming Damien, Damien, because he shows up on 6/6/6, you jinxed yourself. Naming him something else would have cancelled the ‘devil’ right out of him. Like….’Michael’, after St. Michael.
http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=308