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What do *I* care?

weasel and flags

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “what the hell do you care, Weasel? You ain’t hanging around for President McClintobama. You’re setting sail for the island of warm booze and offal pie.”

Well, shut up, that’s what. American politics will affect me nearly as much in Badgerland as it does in Weaseltopia. I still have to file a US income tax return every year — America is the only country that makes its expats do this, forever — though I’ll never make enough money to owe anything to Uncle Sam (I think the threshold is, like, eighty grand). I own land in the US, so there’s property taxes to deal with. I desperately need whatever pittance I can screw out of Social Security after thirty-some years of paying in (Uncle B and I both signed up for the “work until you die” retirement plan). I’ll be back every year to buy mayonnaise and cheap blue jeans. Heck, we’ll both come over and build that romantic bunker in the woods I’ve always wanted, if the Musselman overruns the South of England.

And you would not believe how US current events saturate British media.

I don’t mean entertainment. Hollywood dreck is a major American export. I expect to see a lot of it abroad, most especially in English-speaking countries (which includes parts of Britain). (Though, you know, geez…we’ve done other things since Sergeant Bilko. Splash out, Limeys. Try something new in that 10am time slot. Flipper. Or Bonanza, maybe).

No, I’m talking about how American news and general cultural stuff permeate British media, the BBC in particular. Sure, a lot of that is Bush Derangement Syndrome. Some of it is simply responsible international reporting, since we have our fingers in so many…ummm…dykes. But, whoo! Seriously, honest-to-geez, they can work America into the weather forecast. Spend a day listening to the BBC’s Radio 4 — America is with you from the Shipping Forecast right through to Book at Bedtime.

Whenever I hear some lefty tool mouthing off about “American cultural hegemony” I think, “oh, here’s an idea — you could maybe SHUT THE HELL UP about us for, like, two seconds. You think that might help lower our profile? Yeah. Go talk about Belgium for a day and let us rest our hegemoning muscle.”

So, rest assured, whatever you guys do, I’m going to spend all day hearing about it. Especially if it’s something stupid and embarrassing. Most especially if that stupid embarrassing thing involves beer, guns or Jesus.

And so, my fellow Americans, do a weasel a favor? Don’t make this immigrant thing any harder than it has to be. Refrain from getting drunk and shooting up a megachurch, please. And send me my goddamn absentee ballot.


Comment from Dave in Texas
Time: February 18, 2008, 4:07 pm

There does seem to be a bit of an obsession with us over there, yeah. It was quite noticeable. Not always bad (nor great). Something akin to rolling your eyes at the mischievous puppy.

Yes, I think I captured it with that.

Comment from porknbean
Time: February 18, 2008, 5:04 pm

Well, when you are in the local pub getting drunk, you need to wear a t-shirt with either a gun or Jesus on it. If anyone gives you any shit, you may salute them with one of these…

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: February 18, 2008, 5:15 pm

It does have its touching moments.

24 hours after 9/11 most of the pubs here had the Stars and Stripes flying outside. At a firework display I went to in East Sussex a few weeks later, the leader of the firework society (they march through the ancient towns with flaming torches and drums – it’s all very pagan down there) was proudly carry, not the Union Flag but, again, the Stars and Stripes.

Weasel’s right, of course, there are toe-curlingly embarrassing aspects too. I predict an awful lot of hurried turnings off of the news in my future.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 18, 2008, 5:27 pm

Ooh. PnB, that’s precious. I’m savin’ that photo and I’ll use it later after I scrub the serial numbers off.

Dave, y’know why they’re lookin’ at us and rollin’ their eyes like we’re a puppy that’s just piddled on the linoleum?

We are the puppy. As a nation we have endless energy, some naivete, and boundless enthusiasm fo the Present Here And Now. They are old and tired.

We believe in ourselves (and they no longer do) even if we’re wrong; We are willing to TRY (they gave up around the time of Chamberlain) even if it is hopeless, and we are willing to try to change (they no longer can) if it has a chance of improving things.

There’s a lot to be said for the idea that the best part if the EU emigrated to here decades ago.

– And, yes, I had to look up emigrate/immigrate – – I never could keep those fucking definitions straight. One’s going from here to there, the other – there to here.

I REALLY feel sorry that Weaz’s gonna only see/hear the worst/filtered/nuanced part of what we here in the States are up to. That’s gonna suck quite a bit.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 18, 2008, 5:30 pm

BTW: I exclude great Britain and the Aussies from my li’l critique: they still have at least some spine, although England’s is being torqued quite a bit.

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: February 18, 2008, 5:54 pm

Of course, Great Britain and Australia have the advantage of, you know, being separated from Europe. That might play a role.

Although I wouldn’t be too swift to write off the Euros. (The people, not the funny money.) We wear our exclusivity and pride on our sleeves; Europeans have it laying latent. At some point, the fuse will reach the bomb and these anti-European elements (which includes far left appeasers and multi-culti pundits) will find a very hostile audience.

I think part of European fascination with us (U.S.) has to do with a bit of envy: they used to be so proud of themselves at one time too. Some look up to us, even if they may not admit it, especially what with the encroachment of Occidentalism (the East’s gross mischaracterization and rejection of the West; the West’s Orientalism tends to be benign while the East’s Occidentalism tends to be malicious). I think it worries them and they derive hope that not all Westerners are swallowing Occidentalist claptrap even though the higher echelons of Europe are.

One reason why we need an American president who is proud to be American.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 18, 2008, 6:00 pm

Muslihoon – I hope you are right. I believe much of what you say is true.

I will willingly and humbly apologize to the entire EU when they grow some of that sack you claim is laying latent.

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: February 18, 2008, 6:07 pm

That said, I share some of America’s frustration with Europe.

Let me give you my perspective. Over the past few centuries, the best scholarship and research on South Asia, no matter what field or subject, was done and published by Europeans (particularly Englishmen). Now, their bias shows up pretty strongly but at the same time they did not utterly dismiss the subject of the research as complete rubes, barbarians, or idiots. They were just different. And the thoroughness and detail and clarity with which they studied and wrote is amazing. If I see a book on South Asian written by some English white boy, I’ll grab it; if I see one written by a South Asian, I’d be hesitant.

Of course, the British had no stake in thoroughly dissecting South Asia whereas South Asians fear that doing so robs them of their foundation. One has to look in from outside to get a good view.

But now? I’d trust a book written by al-Hajj this or ash-Shaykh that or al-Mujahid ash-Shahid Somethingorother over something written by a European. What a modern European writes is completely useless.

Comment from porknbean
Time: February 18, 2008, 6:57 pm

Ooh. PnB, that’s precious.

Yes, it is. I have been saving it myself. Preferably to use on an anti-American BDS suffering fruit that I have butted heads with on more than one occasion. Granted that these days I would like to give Bush a headbutt my own self, but that is beside the point.
Unfortunately, we butted heads on a forum to do with ‘a hobby’ and the PC prisses said that any discussion outside the realm of said hobby would be deleted…and fruitty-mcfruitfruit was given a warning that if he started his crap with me one more time, he would be banned. Grrrr….I am well able to fend for myself…bahhhh.
*sigh* I never got to flip him/her/it that bird and the forum has stunk ever since. Bare minimum of traffic now.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 18, 2008, 7:04 pm

Heh. Over-moderated forums are the worst.

I participate in a few hobby forums, and I cherish being able to go there and NOT talk politics. It’s just nice to talk hobby once in a while, you know? I’m sure, if political affiliations were laid on the table, I would not be happy with some of my playmates. But that’s why it’s nice to give it a rest once in a while.

I hate it when some maroon brings up a political topic on one of those boards. I usually try to avoid weighing in, but I can only see a thread float to the top so many times before my nerve breaks.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 18, 2008, 7:26 pm

PnB – I promise I will try to expend that photo-gesture wisely and well.

Comment from pajama momma
Time: February 18, 2008, 7:43 pm

Refrain from getting drunk and shooting up a megachurch, please.

Oh that’s nice, real nice. Where do you get off thinking you can leave and then tell us not to have any fun?

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 18, 2008, 8:24 pm

Weaz – you need to watch out for the sword-wielders over there. They gots a bunch over there. I think its all that King Arthur stuff they grow up with. Screw the guns.

Off topic, but Laura W over at Aces is talkin’ about the ‘Flu and how the shot is only 40% effective.

I already had my dose and am still occasionally gak’ing up the odd bit of lung tissue and chromatically interesting pus.

Anyone else get this shit yet? Did you survive?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 18, 2008, 8:38 pm

The sword wielders over there are mostly schizophrenic Caribbeaners, from what I can tell. The BBC is parsimonious with its ethnic data, but it’s well known that folk from the isles have a tendency to the schiz. And swords.

We have two bugs going around here. The Cold from Hell, and a stomach/poopie bug. I picked up the former coming through Gatwick just after Christmas, and I’m still hacking up hairballs. I’ve managed to avoid the digestive disease so far.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 18, 2008, 8:48 pm

I’m sympathetic for you, of course. I don’t know which breeed I had. It was a kind of all-over “you’re fucked” feeling with a lot of coughing and hacking and some throwing up.

I didn’t know the sword-wielders were mostly from Pirateland? I wonder why? Probably all that rum.

We have one of those Schizo’s in my fambly. And – no – it isn’t me.

Comment from porknbean
Time: February 18, 2008, 9:04 pm

Well in this particular club or forum, it was formed to not only talk about the ‘hobby’ but to get to know each other. Anything was game so long as you didn’t personally attack someone. Kids, jobs, human interest, etc. Besides, we meet once or twice a year.

Problem is, the hobby has to do with ‘collecting’ and attracts mostly women and homosexuals (and assorted oddballs). Talk about estrogen poisoning.

Everyone got along for the most part with the occasional menopausal or gay tantrum speedbump.

Until the 2004 elections. Then things started sliding into the toilet. And I’ll be damned if I will let the idiotic spew go unchallenged. Thus, the head butting.

Add to that it seemed because several posters were so easily offended, the moderators didn’t want to be bothered and swung their hammer. Even discussions about the hobby got the ban stick. For example….we were discussing how last year’s creation was downright ugly and wondered who was the retard behind the curtain creating it. Another member, from the UK, cried because we might be hurting the feelings of said ‘artist’. WTF? I would think that if they were my creations I would be very interested in what the buying public thought about them so that I could tweak and improve if needed. Especially when we are talking hundreds of dollars per unit. Hideous is hideous. When we tried to reason with her and a couple of others, it got ugly.

So now most people don’t even bother.

Comment from porknbean
Time: February 18, 2008, 9:13 pm

Anyone else get this shit yet? Did you survive?

*knocking on wood*
I am hoping that I don’t get it. Not sure if my parts of the woods have seen either affliction yet, though something is working it’s way through the kid’s school. Son doesn’t know if it is the squirts or respiratory. Not a hard kind of thing to figure out, but he is a male – their observatory skills are nil if it isn’t game related.

Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: February 18, 2008, 9:56 pm


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 18, 2008, 10:16 pm

Thank you, Gibby.

PnB – I hope you and your stay strangers with this crud.

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: February 18, 2008, 11:20 pm

At the risk of sounding weak, that link made me cry, Gibby.

To this day, no matter what gripes I have with Britain and Canada, their overwhelming show of support, from bottom to the top, lets me know we have friends when we need it.

Some time ago, someone posted somewhere a few dozen pictures of how others reacted around the world. Amazing. People of all colors and stripes were paying tribute, crying, mourning.

That said, 9/11 is still a sore spot with me. It, probably more than anything, gets me emotional.

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: February 18, 2008, 11:26 pm

Oh, but let me tell you something else. Remember when a ring of terrorists was busted in England, who were about to launch a major terrorist attacks on flights from London to the US? That enraged me to no end. After that and the other various manifestations of terrorism in England, it had come to the point that we disavowed any connection with Pakistan. “Pakistani” had become a hiss and byword.

And I flew a day after the break-up of the terrorist plot. From Pakistan. To London. En route to the US. Yeah. We were on the tarmac for six hours. And we were lucky. The flight before us was on the tarmac for a good twelve hours. All flights from Pakistan were parked far away from the airport and stayed on the tarmac until they were cleared. An hour stop for refueling became six hours of being cooped up in the plane.

Incidently, I had resolved in my head as the story was breaking (a day before our departure) that if anyone tried to hijack the plane or do anything untoward, I would kill him. Kill. Him.

Thank you, Muslims. You put me in a murderous rage.

Comment from Lemur King
Time: February 18, 2008, 11:27 pm

PnB –

“I would think that if they were my creations I would be very interested in what the buying public thought”

I can’t figure it out, but a large portion of the people out there ask what you think then get upset if you don’t gush over it or actually have a non-orgasmic critique. I value other’s insights and usually when I run into one of those folks I just hand them a paper and say “Tell me what you want me to say and I’ll pretend I’m a $20 hooker and try to sound like I mean it.” (stolen from “Murphy Brown” but those are “just words” in Obama-speak)

Other than that, kids are the ultimate plague carriers. I suspect that if we ever did have a superbug, just keeping the rodents at home would go a long way to fizzling it out.

– LK

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 19, 2008, 5:54 am

Aw, shucks, Gibby. The good part of the ‘special relationship’ was another post for another day.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 19, 2008, 7:14 am

Wow. The Wuzzadems have disappeared all of February.

While, on the one hand, it was probably a good idea, I’m kind of sorry I don’t have a copy of that comments thread. That was some pharmaceutical grade bile.

It also neatly illustrated McCain’s dilemma (embodied by McCain supporters): the sneaking suspicion that he hates the Right far more than he ever hated the Left, whatever his lifetime AMA rating.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 19, 2008, 7:34 am

One wonders what their motivation for trying to change (i.e. delete) the past was? Won’t there be a copy or archive of it somewhere? Seems everything else gets archived.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 19, 2008, 7:42 am

The front page is in Google’s cache, but not the comments. Which is where the real nasty was. I guess it’s easier to disappear comments.

I wonder what set them off in the first place. I don’t know if anything in presidential politics moves me like that.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 19, 2008, 11:34 am

Perhaps it was something earlier in the month of Feb. Hence the whole-Feb deletion.

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: February 19, 2008, 12:06 pm

I bet this is what English healthcare is like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Viy_tjrt_pU

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: February 19, 2008, 12:06 pm

How to drink wine: http://chasemeladies.blogspot.com/2008/02/blog-post.html

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: February 19, 2008, 12:33 pm

I just had to share: Egyptian flu (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTPKfixHO6g).

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 19, 2008, 12:43 pm

Musli’s having a YouTube day. Sadly, I can’t share until I get home…YT is blocked by the Stupid Filter.

That’s not “a filter which removes stupid from the internet,” as handy as that might be, it is “a filter which is dumb.”

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: February 19, 2008, 12:53 pm

Sorry. 🙁

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 19, 2008, 12:59 pm

S’okay. I’ll enjoy it when I get there.

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: February 19, 2008, 5:41 pm

Your Grace! Head over to The Hostages! Look at the top picture. Hehehehehehehe.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 19, 2008, 5:47 pm

Hee! It’s not bad, you know.

One of my dad’s friends ordered spotted dick in a restaurant on a visit, and he said, “I don’t know what I’m going to tell my friends back home.”

And I said, “tell them it’s the best thing you ever put in your mouth.”

I think my dad wanted to strangle me.

Speaking of people who want to strangle me, Uncle B dared me to post this link, along with the observation, “Shit, you’d look like a dope in a burqa….”

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 19, 2008, 6:07 pm

I love that Koran.doc thingy.

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: February 19, 2008, 6:24 pm

Ooooh, nice link, Your Grace! Thank you (and Uncle B) for the much-needed chuckles!

Comment from Mo
Time: February 19, 2008, 6:31 pm


You are all on THE LIST now!

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 19, 2008, 7:27 pm

Sorry to get off topic but:

That Flagweasel artwork is really quite good! Very slick and clean.

(You can always tell “slick and clean” because it looks good in B&W)

(And don’t be fooled into thinking I know a friggin’ thing about what I’m talking about.)

I really like it, Weaz.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 19, 2008, 7:27 pm



Comment from Muslihoon
Time: February 19, 2008, 9:33 pm

Careful, McGoo. He just might like to do that.

Comment from Lokki, looking annoyed
Time: February 20, 2008, 2:01 pm

Well, if he does blow, it will be the best thing he ever put in his mouth….

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 20, 2008, 2:38 pm

I’m getting distinctly nervous about the direction this conversation is taking…

Besides, I’m not convinced Mo could swallow everything I’d have to say to him…


Comment from JXL40
Time: October 13, 2009, 4:56 am

Could I be more strict with my diet? ,

Comment from Wolf71
Time: October 22, 2009, 5:10 am

Now, according to the news story, the restrictions have been tightened further: his visits to Dharamsala are limited and he is largely prohibited from leaving Sidhbari, the town where he resides. ,

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 22, 2009, 11:00 am

You know, these last two guys are really terrible spammers. There aren’t even links associated with them.

Comment from Miss58
Time: October 23, 2009, 4:47 am

From what has been reported and rumored, there might be a youtube app with it at launch that would let you play videos. ,

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 23, 2009, 5:25 am

A really really bad spambot has decided to hump this thread, I guess.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 23, 2009, 5:26 am

And by “bad” I mean pointless. No links, no pitches. What does it want?

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2009, 12:59 pm

Yeah, Stoaty, and after your fans check the spambot out, they click on my old, old comment up there above the spam and visit me! You’ve been my #1 link source for the last 2 days! Thanks! 🙂

Meanwhile – wasn’t that super-neat art up there also in color? I remember vibrant flag colors and a shining heroic Stoaty In Full Leap….or was that a dream?


Comment from vPbDsTUCEMMxodV
Time: November 16, 2009, 2:19 pm


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