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What in the name of all that is GOOD and PURE and EDIBLE is this?!?

a thing in my jar of pickles

This would be a disturbing thing to find in a jar of pickles you just brought home from the store. It’s a TERRIFYING thing to find as you are attempting to fish the very last pickle out of the jar. I’m almost certain it’s a chunk of root or something.

Only…whenever I look more closely at it, it appears to be bilaterally symmetrical, with a defined head and thorax. It’s got way too many legs for a terrestrial beastie, but they cluster into what could conceivably be considered six leg clumps and some extra antenna and mouth parts. Like a regular, albeit very large, bug that exploded in a hot vinegar and dill solution.

No, I’m not fishing it out.

I’m not.

I don’t want to know. I don’t care if it is science. I ATE THOSE PICKLES.

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from doubleplusundead
Time: March 4, 2008, 6:09 pm

AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! That’s friggin’ horrifying! What the hell is that thing? Kill it with fire!

In any case, I’ll just use this as an awkward jump-off to say that I love dill pickle flavored chips. I was bummed when they quit making dill pickle flavored Pringles, those were awesome.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 4, 2008, 6:21 pm

I remember when they first came out with sour cream and onion potato chips. Yes. I’m that old. Those first ones had a tang…a savor…a je ne sais quoi.

THAT DOESN’T ENTIRELY WIPE AWAY THE IMAGINARY FLAVOR OF GIANT COCKROACH.

This is a job for vodka!

 


Comment from pajama momma
Time: March 4, 2008, 6:24 pm

From my angle it looks like an upside down dead fish.

Nothing is better than Lays Cheddar and Sour Cream potato chips. NOTHING! oh gawd, the drool, the growling….oh the diet….eff me!

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: March 4, 2008, 6:31 pm

Looks like a Polish pickle borer to me. Usually they’re found deep within the pickle. I wonder if it laid eggs?

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 4, 2008, 6:33 pm

You’re a cruel man, McGoo.

Remember, I have your address.

I could mail you its ears.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: March 4, 2008, 6:34 pm

Did you ever see Alien, Weasel?

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: March 4, 2008, 6:37 pm

Reminds me of the old joke: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm!

No mercy!

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 4, 2008, 6:38 pm

I have YOUR address, too, Uncle B! There’s plenty of this little booger to go around.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: March 4, 2008, 6:41 pm

Badge – we’re doomed.

 


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: March 4, 2008, 6:58 pm

I ATE THOSE PICKLES.

Ew!!!

Plus, there was a bug in the jar. Gross!

 


Comment from iamfelix
Time: March 4, 2008, 7:27 pm

Hmmm … maybe one of these pickle fairies fell in? Or something else? Mebbe put in some Kool-Aid — whatever-it-is will still be in there, but you won’t see it. Perhaps a stupid joke will make you feel better? Eh, I got nuthin’ ….

Off to the spam filter I go! I hope that spiny green thing isn’t in there, too. 🙂

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 4, 2008, 7:37 pm

Yup. I just fished you out. Akismet sends me an email when somebody falls in the sticky netting. Lucky for you, I was still sober enough to respond.

You’re mighty cavalier with that lint trap, Felix.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 4, 2008, 7:39 pm

Not like that pussy Lokki.

 


Comment from iamfelix
Time: March 4, 2008, 7:48 pm

I always figure you’ll drag my sorry ass out sooner or later.

 


Comment from Jessica
Time: March 4, 2008, 8:44 pm

Holy shit! So, is it a critter?

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: March 4, 2008, 8:59 pm

Leave iamfelix in there on a Friday night, Weaz.

Lokki got stuck in there overnight and now he can barely rouse himself to comment once a week.

 


Comment from Pupster
Time: March 4, 2008, 9:22 pm

That is a pickle.

A pickle, who for the last 25 years, drank a couple of glasses of wine every day.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: March 4, 2008, 9:33 pm

Dissect it, Weaz. I bet its liver is cirrhotic. It’ll be orange instead of liver-coloured.

Say! You haven’t posted any knife posts lately. Are they packed? You and Enas are into them – yes?

Knives. The better to dissect with….

Way better than a mallet.

 


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: March 4, 2008, 9:40 pm

Pupster, LOL.

 


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: March 4, 2008, 10:27 pm

Umm. Geraghty’s saying “Vaya con Dios” to Huckabee. Is it wrong of me that every time I hear that phrase, I think of the show Peggy watches on King of the Hill, with that Spanish priest who says that after he kills the bad guy?

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: March 4, 2008, 10:58 pm

Whatever it is, most likely the umbilical cord of the cucumber, or dead crayfish, it has been sitting in vinegar, nature’s antiseptic for many moons. You are safe.

 


Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: March 5, 2008, 7:51 am

Yeah, I ‘ate pickels too. No, wait a minute. I love pickles. Commonly known as gherkins on this side of the pond.
Fish it out. Glass and briny, dilly, vinegary…uh, vinegar has a high refractive index. It’s in the interest of humanity that this monster be studied and made into a weapon, and there’s no way that can be done inside a jar.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 5, 2008, 8:18 am

The refractive index of water is about 1.335. Vinegar has an RI of 1.370. Do not get Stoaty going on refractive indices. Don’t ask why. Just smile and nod and start backing away RIGHT NOW.

I have yet to find a satisfactory gherkin Over There. Uncle B doesn’t eat them, and it’s a little expensive for trial and error. The last jar of pickles I bought was like, “holy SHIT whatdidIjustputinmymouth?” Way too vinegar-y for my taste.

 


Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: March 5, 2008, 8:41 am

Wow, I just learned that the plural of index is indices. Thanks. This blog has it all.
I just eat these pickles/gherkins from Sainsbury’s. Their own brand thing. To me, a pickled small, warty cucumber is a pickled small, warty cucumber. Maybe if I ate them on their own rather than sliced up in a cheeseburger I’d be more discerning.
I still think you should fish that sucker out though. For science.

 


Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: March 5, 2008, 8:56 am

I’m not sure, but I suspect I just made an intertube faux pas by calling this website a blog. My apologies.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 5, 2008, 9:30 am

Wait…haven’t we had this conversation already? It’s whatever you want it to be, Gibby. I’m whorish like that.

 


Comment from pajama momma
Time: March 5, 2008, 10:08 am

Can this site be Lays Cheddar and sour cream potato chips with a chocolate bar on the side? I’d really like that.

*still shuddering from thought of egg laying pickle borer*

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 5, 2008, 10:10 am

Hm. My boss does Cheetos and coffee so…sure! Why not!

 


Comment from iamfelix
Time: March 5, 2008, 12:00 pm

Leave iamfelix in there on a Friday night, Weaz.

Lokki got stuck in there overnight and now he can barely rouse himself to comment once a week.

Hmmmmm … trying to get rid of me, McGoo?

Stoaty, if you want pickles delivered with your mayo, just say the word/brand.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 5, 2008, 12:02 pm

Pickles and mayo! Why, it’s practically tuna salad.

Thank you, Felix. It’s good to have friends back in civilization.

 


Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: March 5, 2008, 12:05 pm

Wait…haven’t we had this conversation already?

I hope not. Because that either means I’m i) repeating myself or (much worse); ii) going senile.

Damn, I thought that gypsy…uh, I mean Travelling Person that I accidentally hit with my car was just suffering from blood loss when pointer her claws at me and hissed, ‘A curse be upon ye! You will go senile before you’re thirty!’

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: March 5, 2008, 12:09 pm

Naa, iamfelix, trying to warn ya. Occasionally Weaz misses the red blinking light over the filter door.

 


Comment from Princess Bernie
Time: March 5, 2008, 3:38 pm

My future mother in law brought me some sweet dills at Christmas and I have the recipe. Very interesting sweet and sour combination you can make at home. I’m going to try the recipe and if it works out, I’ll probably post it over at my other innernut asylum – Gulf Coast Pundit. We have a cool food topic there now.

Of course we don’t have Weasels, bagel graphics, weird scientific experiments and horoscopes over there. There’s no way we can compete with a true arteest such as the great Weasel herself.

 


Comment from Nice Deb
Time: March 19, 2008, 3:58 pm

You must take it out and get a better look at it. And take pix. I want to know what that thing is!

 

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