Well, shoot. It’s raining.
August 30, 2008 — 7:20 am
Comments: 19
Alas, poor Stoaty
I made it in to work today, but by afternoon my boss ordered me home to sleep off the Nyquil. Hence, I got nothin’.
But I can’t neglect you, my minions (we don’t ever, ever, EVER want a repeat of the Hamster Incident, do we?) So please enjoy this photograph of a weasel skull. I bought it on eBay last year for ten bucks. Doesn’t it look like some kind of tiny, fangsome alien? That’s because its face is all squoze up in the first third of its head, and the rest is an improbably huge sock of skull.
To hold its giant, throbbing brain.
August 26, 2008 — 6:27 pm
Comments: 10
And wet? My dear, the smell…
I took my poison ivy and my new cold for a spin on the river today. I rented a kayak with a bunch of friends. It was a GORGEOUS day — sunny, light breeze, low eighties. I’ve never paddled a kayak before, but I was pleasantly pleased that it wasn’t as tippy as I expected (cue music from Jaws).
I didn’t take a camera, which is just as well. After successfully paddling six and a half miles (per the GPS), I tipped the fucker over within fifty feet of shore. I was last one in, and my friends stupidly stood on the bank and watched me flail around uselessly for awhile before someone asked if I needed help. Frankly, I think those bastards were all laughing too hard to put back in.
Once the kayak tipped, it had next to no bouyancy. And I was wearing sneakers, so I had next to no traction.
Eh. My new GPS is (reasonably) watertight, and I had wisely left my wallet and stuff in the cargo area of somebody else’s kayak. Somebody not quite so retarded.
More booze, please.
August 23, 2008 — 7:18 pm
Comments: 26
Hello? Is this my blog?
You get the feeling everybody in the blogosphere is just phoning it in lately? Me, too. I mean me, I get that feeling, but also me, I’m phoning it in.
Maybe it’s the Summertime Blues. Maybe it’s this godawful presidential election. Maybe it’s the one-fifth of my skin that’s covered with crusty, weeping pustules that itch like a fothermucker.
Oh! And they gave me some work today. That I have to do! Can you believe?
Anyhow, please enjoy this black and white photograph of a phone, which I nicked off the internet and added a reflection and the words “ring, ring” to with Photoshop.
August 18, 2008 — 5:53 pm
Comments: 28
How to anesthetize your weasel
First, tape your weasel securely to a cutting board. No, no idea. It just turned up on an images search of “dead weasel.” Since this adorable little squeaker apparently isn’t dead (who anesthetizes a dead weasel? Nobody, that’s who) I figured, “better still!”
Sorry I buggered the blog for a while today. WordPress software has been pissing and moaning at me to upgrade for weeks, since the version I had ‘ad an ‘ole in it, is the technical term. But I had just upgraded it to the version I had — during the course of which I severely buggered the blog — and I wasn’t in a hurry to repeat the experience.
“I know!” I thought this morning, “I’ll use that automatic upgrade plugin thingamajig that all the kids are raving about!” And there we go, buggered.
After much faffing and sweating, turns out I simply can’t log in to WordPress 2.6 as admin using the Opera browser. That bums me in a mild to moderately severe way, but at least there’s a workaround. And I figured it out all by myself, so maybe I’ll get a gold star or an M&M or they’ll name the bug after me or something.
Okay, let’s see if this works. Behold, I appear before you in Internet Explorer! It smells like Bill Gates in here. And ass. Yes, there is a subtle qualitative difference.
August 10, 2008 — 12:50 pm
Comments: 13
You are feeling verrrrrry…kitty-adopting-able
This little semi-feral so-and-so tried very hard to adopt a weasel yesterday by sheer force of will. Cross your fingers for him today; Saturdays are when the cats are mostly adopted (Caturday! Ha!). Posted in all his Technicolor glory in the comments (he’s gray and white, so it ain’t much).
August 2, 2008 — 9:02 am
Comments: 14
Hot and sunny today. Horrible!
July 26, 2008 — 10:00 am
Comments: 11
What next, O Lord? Ye Acme Safe on ye Head?
Pissing and Moaning Week continues on sweasel.com.
Okay, sure…I’ve been upgraded from ‘tasteless’ to ‘personal’ on Websense (thank you, Websense — I wonder who dropped a dime on me in the first place)…my desktop machine booted up normally, first try. But it takes more than THAT to tickle an weasel.
The conference room across from us has been ceded to a large, loud, high-priced IT consultant from Atlanta. She’s got a sinus infection and every few minutes — shitting you I am not — she horks up a giant loogie.
This is followed by a series of quiet gasps, moans and little moos of horror running down Cubicle Row. (Relax, minions — that’s not how Stoaty got wet. That comes later).
So to get away from it at lunch, I went to visit the pussoes again. They were crating up some dogs to take to the vet, so they didn’t let us in at the usual time. Half a dozen people waited outside under the porch when another of those short, HELLACIOUSLY powerful thunderboomers rolled through. Soaked the lot of us before anyone could let us in. The staff was all apologetic when they finally hustled the steaming herd of animal fanciers into the building.
That’s when I saw the CAT ROOM CLOSED TODAY sign. Respiratory infection. They’re pretty good at stopping that now, before it runs through the whole room, but it means careful isolation for a few days. (Say, I wonder if that’s what the IT consultant has got…)
Still, the quickest way for six strangers to become temporary friends is to get soaking wet together. While I waited for the worst of it to pass over, we chatted about pets and pointed out our HAVE YOU SEEN ME? flyers to each other and had a grand time there on the Group W bench.
And tomorrow, now that I have my connect back, I might actually blog. About things.
But don’t count on it.
July 24, 2008 — 5:23 pm
Comments: 36
Hit by lightning!
HIT BY LIGHTNING! Hit by lightning. As Uncle B revealed in my comments section, I got hit by lightning. I GOT HIT BY LIGHTNING.
Okay, not me precisely, but Weasel Street. One of those short, potent thunderboomers moved across town. I got soaked just dashing from the car to the house when came the Big One. The flash and the boom were absolutely simultaneous, and then things started to go thataway. Connect went down immediately. My desktop worked okay for a while, and then got wonky and refused to reboot, so…not sure what’s go-bust there. Please stand by.
I’m in with my laptop and I don’t seem to be stealing signal from any of the neighbors, so my cable must be okay.
On a not-particularly-related note, sweasel.com was successfully recategorized as “personal” via Websense, but I still can’t get in from work. Whether that means “personal” is also blocked or whether it means the new database hasn’t fully propagated, I do not know. Tell you tomorrow.
For those who doubt the Almighty has put a certain weasel on his Celestial Shit List, I present I Got Hit By Lightning, a play in one act.
July 23, 2008 — 6:39 pm
Comments: 71
Hey, sailors
The woman who sits next to me was working in another office today, so I visited the pussoes. None of the original bunch is left, except for the other little mama. She was pregnant longer than any cat the shelter guy had ever heard of. Me too. I thought maybe the kittens had died and she was resorbing them (this can happen, I think. Nature can be so…ew). But, no. Just as he was about to haul her to the vet, out popped four of the healthiest fat furballs you ever did see. No two alike, so she’s no better than she should be.
While I was chatting with the Kitteh Man, a nice young gay couple came in cat shopping. I thought to myself, “I wonder which cat they’ll choose…NOT!”
Yup. Fluffy McHomosexual here is no longer a stray. Well. He’s a good cat and I’m sure the nice gentlemen will make him a lovely home. Plus, they were eyeballing a certain kitten and a tuxedo tom and made inquiries about taking all three. So, hooray for soft-hearted cat-adopting persons of the same sex!
Sweasel.com is still blocked by Websense. I’ve sent another “I’m not that tasteless, pretty please” request. Frankly, the internet is in the summer doldrums anyhow (have you noticed?) and ain’t nothing to blog about. I’ll just…catblog or photoblog to show willing until I get this straightened out. And if I can’t work it out this week, I’ll see about setting up a mirror or something.
Good think I never monetized this sucker, or I’d be pissed.
July 22, 2008 — 4:34 pm
Comments: 39