Happy Fourth!
We had a cookout! I drank wine! G’night!
July 4, 2013 — 8:45 pm
Comments: 21
Good riddance.
That’s how it works, right? The New Year strangles the Old Year to death in a fit of psychotic rage?
I suppose I should be grateful. We’re doing fine, Chez Mustelid. But we’ve seen a lot of misery around us this year. And even though the prospects for the coming year aren’t exactly bright, I think I speak for all of us when I say, “fuck you, 2012!”
On a happier note, I finished the Portal franchise games, and yes…they were completely awesome right to the end. I was a little bummed, because Portal 2 includes a neat two-player game and I hasn’t got a gaming buddy.
So I went to YouTube, and sure enough, found an hilarious walkthrough (“an hilarious” – I insist). Now, you might think watching somebody else play a game would be a colossal bore, but you would be WRONG. These guys are funny, and it’s a relief not to have to solve the damn puzzles myself.
Even if you don’t like games, try watching the first installment and see if you don’t enjoy it. If you do, you’ll be pleased to know there are 16 more installments to go. (Yeah. They play the whole game through in 15-minute YouTubes). Make sure to HD and full-screen it for added enjoyment.
Now, it’s a vile, windy night, but we’re walking to a neighbor’s for a little light socialization, so y’all take care. Remember, the roads are brimming with drunks.
Happy New Year! We get to play with it first. (But Oceania got it before us. I hope he didn’t…get anything on it).
December 31, 2012 — 5:37 pm
Comments: 38
Ho ho ho!
Meet up later and compare loot…!
December 25, 2012 — 12:00 pm
Comments: 36
ching-ching-ching-ching
Oh, for heaven’s sake people, they’re JINGLE BELLS.
They’re not butts. They’re not penises. They’re not testicles. They’re jingle bells.
December 24, 2012 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 32
Pucker up, Vicar
So we got a notice in our box to come help decorate the church for Christmas. It asked us to bring, “holly, ivy and evergreen fronds.”
Uncle B says, “did you notice what’s missing?”
And I’m, like, “no.”
And he says, “mistletoe.”
Mistletoe: not welcome in the Church of England. It was a big Druid thing, so the church is not cool with it.
Except York Minster, where the Dean hangs a sprig of mistletoe above the altar on noon, Christmas Eve.
Because, England.
December 13, 2012 — 11:59 pm
Comments: 27
Ho Ho Ho
I’m still doing my best to ignore the news completely, and now with the holidays coming at us like an onrushing sleigh ride of terror, I’m finding it harder than usual to pull posts out of my ass. You probably noticed. So I’m hanging out the light blogging flag until the New Year.
Oh, I’ll still squeeze something out five days a week. I’ll probably do a little post recycling. I’m green like that.
Do please drop by and chat anyway. I worry when I short the blog too much. Neglected blogs bleed readers.
December 5, 2012 — 11:19 pm
Comments: 24
The ghost of Thanksgiving past
Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorites. Nobody ever believed me when I said it, because I seldom went home for the day and spent nearly all of my Turkey Days all by myself. It’s supposed to be a family holiday, after all.
But what’s not to love? You close your eyes and think to yourself actually, come to think of it, I have a pretty sweet deal — that mental exercise is good for the soul, or the id, or whatever meat gizmo drives the self, I do firmly believe — and then you gorge yourself into a coma. I have never missed observing Thanksgiving with all my heart. w00t!
It is also overlaid with a personal meaning — I arrived in Britain permanently on a Thanksgiving Day. I count the holiday as my Brittaversary, rather than the date. Four years, if you can believe it. Stranger in a strange land.
And now, yet another layer of meaning, as we attended the funeral of a neighbor this afternoon, a great and mighty sheep farmer in our little community. It was a sunny and very windy day, and we stood outside with a crowd (our local church is small and he was a popular man) getting blown around like flags. They carried in his coffin draped in a whole woolly fleece.
And then Uncle B had to go up to London and won’t be back until late. So here I am, like a Thanksgiving of yore, full up on my solitary feast and dozing in front of my Tudor fire while the wind howls away outside. A strange day, but on the whole, you know, I have a pretty sweet deal.
November 22, 2012 — 11:00 pm
Comments: 25
Mmmm-mmmm…! Pudendalicious!
I love Parkerhouse rolls. You know, the cheap brown ‘n’ serve ones you buy in the supermarket. My mother called them “gluey rolls” because duh…but me, I could never get enough of them. It isn’t a holiday without rolls.
So one day, I got the most awful craving for gluey rolls. Out of the blue. I was about fifteen. We lived in the ass-end of nowhere and the nearest store was miles away, so I got my mother to help me make a batch of standard white dinner rolls.
I did the work while she kept a supervisory eye on me. Then, right at the end, before the last rise, she took a pastry scraper and made an indentation in the middle of each one, so they wouldn’t be too thick and bready.
But after she shaped them, she looked at the rolls, and she looked at me, and I looked at her, and I looked at the rolls, and we looked at each other looking at the rolls, and the rolls looked like…eh, well you can see what the rolls looked like.
And forever after, homemade gluey rolls were known as pussy rolls in my family.
So, I have just made the most hellacious batch of pussy rolls for tomorrow (make them up a day ahead, leave them on the counter overnight wrapped in aluminum foil, then heat them in the foil for about twenty minutes. Good as new, and one less job on the day). It is officially Thanksgiving eve!
I’m going to have a slightly odd Turkey Day this year. I’ll blog about it tomorrow, if I’m spared — between hot buttered pussy rolls.
November 21, 2012 — 9:51 pm
Comments: 19
Not too shabby…!
Yes, yes…the picture is sideways. All the better to display the wonder of the HONKING HUGE ROCKET.
Oh, I suppose some of you had rockets to beat this one all hollow, but this is pretty special for us. It was quick, smoky but very, very good.
But of course we celebrate the Fourth. Barbecue, beer, fireworks. Being a foreigner is like having a Jewish parent and a Catholic parent…you get ALLL the holidays.
On firework occasions (of which there are three: Guy Fawkes, New Years and the Fourth), we get a small pre-boxed assortment and one good rocket finale. Our local purveyor of Things that Go Boom likes us, I think. He always picks out the selections for us, chooses us a Ta Dum for the end and gives us a good price (rumor has it he makes the Bonfire Night fireworks himself in the basement, but I can neither confirm nor deny).
Oh, and there was one called Moons of Uranus which was nice, but not nearly as obscene as I hoped.
Hope you had/are having/will have a great Independence Day, depending on time zone.
July 4, 2012 — 10:07 pm
Comments: 19
You’re welcome, Ma’am
Aw, now isn’t that nice. The Queen just appeared on television to thank everyone — that means me — who helped organize festivities for her Jubilee. Some monarchs have the nicest manners.
Meanwhile, soon as I dry out a little, I’m sure I’ll be back to blogging about…whatever it is I usually blog about. Chickens and banjos, is it?
p.s. McGoo is not claiming dick for the Trololo guy, so Dead Pool Round 32 rolls on…
June 5, 2012 — 9:50 pm
Comments: 27