Everything’s better with googly eyes
So this village church — the one with the cool tomb — was having its flower festival. That’s why we were there. I’ve posted about flower festivals before — I just love these things. They are so unspeakably weird.
What happens is, the congregation agrees on a theme, and people do flower arrangements based on the theme. Then they place them around the church — including supposedly sacred spaces. Going in, you’re given a program that describes the tableaux by the numbers. Then, at the end, there’s cake and tea.
If that doesn’t sound too weird to you, read on.
The theme of this show was Ladybird Books. Ladybird is a children’s book publisher going back to the Nineteenth C, much like our Little Golden Books. As we rounded the corner, the very first display was a giant decapitated Barbie head on a plinth. You know, like those big doll heads for girls to play with hairstyles. Only, this one didn’t have a neck, and instead of hair, it had long, long tendrils of raw wool hanging down over the drapery. And flowers.
I’m thinking, holy shit it’s the ISIS flower arrangement. I consult my program: Rapunzel. Huh.
There was the Pied Piper, which was a leather hat, flowers and many rubber rats. These googly-eyed vegetables (I have no idea). One old boy had done a large display of plastic dinosaurs and convincingly Jurassic-looking plants. Seriously, there were like thirty of these things all over the church.
Somebody played the organ and we all had tea and cake in the pews.
It’s not all women, but it is all old people. I’ve decided I like old people. Which is just as well, really.
August 20, 2014 — 10:39 pm
Comments: 6
D’awwww
Back in late June, reader rodent rescued up this beautiful beast and named her Suzie. She’d been dumped in an industrial park to fend for herself. Suzie repaid her debt by knitting this beautiful mini-me!
Then I spent some time scribbling flocked wallpaper all over them, because I can’t resist doodling on other people’s cats, and rodent’s photo was a bit dark and unfocused (Suzie, like all good mothers, tucked her infant safely into a dark box).
Just look at those baby toes. We will expect regular doses of d’awww, rodent.
August 19, 2014 — 9:43 pm
Comments: 12
The most gothick thing EVAR
The winged skull is just a taster. Click for the whole tomb.
It’s the grave of John Cheney, who died on the 20th of September, 1601. And presumably his wife and daughter, who are mentioned. I think the slate inscription stone must have shattered as they pulled it out to stuff more people in the ‘ole. Brrr!
This is on the wall left of the altar in a little village church in Sussex. More on that later.
We started Saturday at an airfield, because we heard a rumor the two Lancasters were going to fly over on their way to an airshow.
Of the over seven thousand Lancaser bombers built in WWII, these two are the last in the air, and they’ve been kept airworthy by cannibalizing some of the others. One of them usually lives in Canada, so…last chance.
We waited and waited and it didn’t happen. So we headed to this church, miles away, and suddenly the planes flew across our path, low and spooky. No time to stop and take pictures. Wish we’d gotten closer. Glad we didn’t miss it.
August 18, 2014 — 9:58 pm
Comments: 20
Makes perfect sense, when you think about it
Behold, the tooth worm! This is an 18th Century sculpture carved in ivory (notice the pegs — it fits together and closes up) by an unknown artist.
But people really believed this was a thing. I mean, not this imaginative version, but people believed in a tooth worm that burrowed into teeth and made them go bad and ouchy. Believed it from antiquity right into the 20th C.
And when you think about it, extracted teeth would usually have little dark holes in them, like rotten apples. Yeah, worms. Makes sense. Compounded by the possibility that early dentists mistook nerves or blood vessels for worms while they were digging around in there.
Ow. Let’s not think about that too hard.
This is taken from a delightful blog I ran across in my travels, the Chirurgeon’s Apprentice. So many gruesome historical nuggets, I had difficulty picking just one.
Right, see you back here tomorrow? It’s time for Dead Pool Round 68! Be here or be somewhere else!
August 14, 2014 — 9:54 pm
Comments: 27
Bold Venture
Lauren Bacall at last. To be honest, I thought she was older than 89.
Not long before her death, she said something like “I suppose my obituary will be all about Bogart.” With some resignation, I assume — he’s been dead for 57 years.
I’m no different. I’m going to mark her passing with a recommendation that you listen to Bold Venture, a series of radio plays they did together in 1951 (audio links at the bottom). No one is sure how many episodes there are in total, but upwards of fifty have come to light.
I like Old Time Radio plays. They’re usually entertaining and often well-written, and there are a bajillion serieseses out there to download for free. I have a little OTR dingus on my Android tablet and I used to listen to Bold Venture in the bathtub, which just felt right.
Oh, and yes…nanny1 takes the dick! I believe this is the second dick for nanny1 (you know the drill; you gots to send me your address again).
I’m painfully aware how far behind I’ve gotten with my dick duties. If you’re waiting for one, I do apologize. I’m’onna have to build some drawing time into my everyday, or I’m’a start to lose skills.
So, meet me back here Friday, 6WBT. Dead Pool Round 68!
p.s. RIP Robin Williams, too. Not a fan, but there are corners of the internet where people are losing their freaking minds, so…
August 13, 2014 — 10:16 pm
Comments: 17
Uncle B’s new camera
Actually, this is a lousy way to show off his new camera. There was so much foliage in the image, the filesize was huge and I had to squeeze the .jpg down to stupid lossy.
Suffice it to say it’s awesome, and the first picture he took was this handsome shot of Jack.
August 12, 2014 — 9:40 pm
Comments: 13
Onions.
I leave you this week with a picture of the prize-winning onions at a village fête. Not our village fête, some other village fête from a couple of weeks ago. I’m sure these onions could tell us a tale of bitter rivalries and seething hatreds.
I spent my whole day doing something terribly familiar — attending pointless work-related training courses. Three of ’em. Data protection and workplace safety and the like. Yippee! I was afraid those old cubicle-monkey braincells would never come in handy again.
We’re expecting the ass-end of hurricane Bertha to dump on us this weekend. Oh, well…we need the rain desperately. Good weekend, all!
August 8, 2014 — 10:34 pm
Comments: 10
Gosh, it’s hard work being a nimmigrant
I’m selling my mama’s farm. Yeah, I don’t really want to talk about it. I got an offer I could, but really shouldn’t, refuse. She’ll come back to haunt me for this, I swear.
Anyway, the lawyer wants the papers notarized and FedEx’ed back. Easy, right? Pff! No.
I cruised by my bank — bank managers are usually notaries, right? — pff! No. The teller didn’t even know what a notary is. The local solicitors knew, but didn’t have one on staff.
Turns out there are only, like, 900 notaries* in all of Britain. The nearest one was miles and miles away. By appointment only.
He was nice enough. Semi-retired corporate lawyer. He explained why they’re so scarce — to start with, they’re usually lawyers, and then they get three years of specialist training in things like Roman law (!).
I told him my grandfather was a notary and the bar wasn’t so high in the States. In the old days at least, all you had to do was get five people to swear you were a pretty good guy.
Anyway, he made me swear on the Bible! Twice! Then he stamped everything and sewed my deed together with green ribbon and charged me £80 — which is, like, $120. Phew.
But at least shipping it back with be a breeze, right? Pff! No!
*That isn’t including the Worshipful Company of Scriveners of the City of London, which are lawyers who speak multiple languages for some reason.
August 7, 2014 — 9:45 pm
Comments: 30
Toilet bowl – badum*tssss*
Yes, the summer fête season is in full swing. This is a game that…gave someone an excuse to bring six toilets to a cricket ground.
Since I broke my D40, I’ve been relying on a little digital Pentax camera for blog snaps. For its age and size, it takes great pictures (this isn’t one — I saved the .jpg at low resolution because all that bitsy grass was killing my file size). I’ve also set it up to “meow” convincingly when I turn it on (got to love the Japanese!).
It was my exit gift from my old job, though, so I always think of it as the camera that cost 25 years of my life.
August 6, 2014 — 9:16 pm
Comments: 12
‘Member these?
Last of the nice days today, so we snuck in another field trip (Sissinghurst, old favorite). We stopped at a convenience store on the way to buy some sammiches, and Uncle B bought me a packet of these (see picture). And I’m, like, “whoa, dude…do you recognize these? They’re candy cigarettes!” Rebranded “candy sticks” for a different age.
Uncle B could do that one better. In his day, they sold Junior Smoking Kits — chocolate cigars, chocolate pipes, chocolate matches, chocolate ashtray and candy cigarettes. I managed to find a picture on this guy’s blog, from his visit to the Museum of Childhood in Edinburgh.
Mind, blown.
By the way, all you gotta do is have your picture taken with Spiderman at the circus one time…
p.s. Yes! It came with a Spiderman tattoo! I shall be the envy of the office tomorrow…
August 5, 2014 — 9:08 pm
Comments: 21