The weakest of weak tea
So Obama delivered a few bland, wet remarks about Scottish independence at a press conference for the G7 summit. It was a classic Obama “on the one hand this, on the other hand that” nothingburger.
Douglas Alexander, the shadow Foreign Secretary (that means the party out of power) noted, “His clear statement of support for the UK staying together will resonate with many of us here in Scotland.” Which is a hilariously (an hilariously?) inapt description of his few weak, mumbled lines.
I don’t know how to break it to anybody here, but we have never had an American president who gave less of a small wet fart about Britain, Europe…the whole of Western Civ. Dude is an African/Indonesian/Hawaiian Muzzy simp with a side order of Pok-e-stohn.
p.s. by the way — go Scottish independence! If they break away, Britain will never have a Lefty government again.
June 5, 2014 — 10:44 pm
Comments: 17
Headline: “Man disappointed with penis enlarger”
“The instructions that came with the package merely read: ‘Do not use in sunlight’.”
Words to live by.
“Men and women are equally vulnerable to these scams.”
Ehhhh…I don’t think so.
June 4, 2014 — 10:28 pm
Comments: 12
Oh, that is some cherce stupid
Check this out; it’s a flyer someone poked through our next-door neighbor’s mail slot just before the Euro elections two weeks ago. For some reason, they didn’t put one in our box, so she shared.
It’s from the World Socialist Party, and it’s a truly rich and steamy vein of bullshit. Here are highlights from the above excerpt:
There is no money. There is no war. There are no rich people. There are no poor people. There are no leaders. All decisions are shared. All responsibilities are shared.
[…]
You now have no bills to pay, no rent, no mortgage, no debts. Everything is free, nothing is for sale, and neither are you. But you want to help, just like others do.
[…]
You might have chosen to drive a bus or a train, fix plumbing, coordinate a data network, plough a field, teach a child, organise an event, study engineering, cure a disease, brew beer, rehearse a play. You might choose to work four hours a week, or fouteen or forty.
So, lemme get this straight, four hours a week I brew beer (if I feel like it). For ten hours a day, my neighbor ploughs a freaking field he doesn’t own to grow crops he doesn’t control. Then we share equally in everything. Oh, no need for leaders or guys with guns to make this happen or anything.
Does anybody really believe this could work? C’mon. It has to be a put on, surely.
Click the picture for the whole flyer; there’s much more stupid where that came from. Or visit their website, if you think you can keep a straight face.
What do you bet their meetings always end in bitter acrimony and down-twinkles.
June 3, 2014 — 9:45 pm
Comments: 23
Summer’s here!
Summer’s here. The neighbors are shorn. We had a gorgeous weekend lazing about in the sun.
That is all.
June 2, 2014 — 10:52 pm
Comments: 7
Maintenant, réchapper à MacDo!
Who is the world’s second-biggest consumer of tasty MacDonald’s fast food? The French. I shitteth thee not.
In a move that makes The Narrative cower in the corner, whimpering, a mob of angry Frogs from the town of Saint-Pol-sur-Ternoise has marched to demand somebody finish building our goddamned MacDonald’s toot sweet.
The courts put a halt to construction (seen above) because the site was zoned for industrial or artisanal activities, and a MacDonald’s is a commercial one. The suit was brought to court by a company that runs a dump nearby. I mean an actual dump, a “refuse site.” Mon dieu!
The townspeople are eyeing the 30 or so jobs the restaurant would bring and also, of course, those crazy tasty Big Macs and fries.
Anyhoo, their FaceBook page is oui oui au macdo st pol. MacDo. I really like that. Much better than Mickey D’s. I hated it when some marketing droid foist that off on us, and I hated it even more when I heard myself using it.
From now on, MacDo for me, in solidarity with my French brothers and sisters. Won’t you join me?
Good weekend, all!
May 30, 2014 — 10:01 pm
Comments: 34
The Beast
Behold, the Creature of Chislehurst Pond.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “silly Limies – that there’s a turtle. And not a very impressive specimen.” And you’d be right. But, believe it or not, there are no turtles in Britain.
No, really. They have tortoises — land shellbacks. We recently met a specimen who had been handed down as a family pet for over a generation. But they don’t have any water shellbacks. There are some on the Continent, in the more southerly climes (where they are usually called terrapins), but here they seem wild and exotic.
Huh.
May 29, 2014 — 11:22 pm
Comments: 12
Yep. Here it is.
Davem123 speculated in the Dead Pool thread that the White House would shortly commemorate the passing of Maya Angelou (1928-2014) with a photo of himself. Yep.
Though it’s at the end of the entry, not the beginning. And it’s not the soulful “Barack Obama has a sad” picture I was expecting.
You know, I’m going to stop right there before I say unkind things about the departed. Flights of angels sing thee, etcetera.
May 28, 2014 — 9:54 pm
Comments: 13
Repeat after me, “correlation…”
This goofy looking sod is Tyler Vigan and he’s studying for his doctorate at Harvard. But that doesn’t matter right now. He also runs a site called Spurious Correlations.
He’s written a little algorithm that compares shit tons of data sets and finds correlations. Really stupid pointless ones, for the most part (if his algorithm has found any likely meaningful ones, he doesn’t say). Like, there’s a 0.992558 correlation between the divorce rate in Maine and the US per capita consumption of margarine.
That’s lots of fun, and I invite you to browse his charts. Could come in handy next time you get into an argument with a green. But his bigger point is that computers are terrific at sifting and finding correlations, but they’re absolutely crap at weeding the meaningful ones from the silly ones. “Meaning” isn’t an easily quantifiable characteristic.
If I asked you to tell me the current population of Uruguay, I assume you don’t know. Thing is, if you don’t know, somehow you knew instantly that you don’t know. Many years ago, I read that this is something they haven’t worked out how to do build into computers: how to recognize instantly when they don’t have data, without sifting through all the data they DO have. I’ve been puzzling ever that ever since. Somehow, I think those problems are related.
p.s. Did you have any idea that seven hundred people died in 2009 by becoming entangled in their bedsheets?
May 27, 2014 — 9:39 pm
Comments: 21
Full moon over Westminster
Not a very good likeness, but this is my first attempted Farage.
Attempted Farage. Huh. Sounds like something you’d get arrested for after a stag party.
Anyway, there’s all sorts of reasons why Thursday’s election was not the beginning of the revolution in Britain. But it was a thing of beauty still, and I’m a great believer in savoring the moment. So here it is:
UKIP: 27.49%
Labour: 25.40%
Conservatives: 23.93%
Greens: 7.87%
LibDems: 6.87%
Savor, damn you!
May 26, 2014 — 10:11 pm
Comments: 13
Now with added unemployment
Hate to give this guy the attention which he so obviously craves. Kind of. Whatever. I doubt he can squeeze fifteen minutes of fame out of this one.
Sainsbury’s employee tucks cynical haikus into packages of cookies. Gets fired. Apparently, being internet famous > being employed.
The only one that was approaching funny — “Been sneezing all day/ Good thing HIV cannot/ Be passed on like that” — nearly cost him the gig (the publicity gig; he’s already lost the bakery gig). Thou Shalt Not Make AIDS Jokes on the left, still.
Twitter feed. Hash tag. Somehow, I don’t think this is going to be the internet sensation he hopes. He may yet look back with longing on the Sainsbury’s gig.
Still, it beats the stuffings out of #LikeABoss. Good weekend, folks!
May 23, 2014 — 10:35 pm
Comments: 11