!bossofme
That thing about “the photograph may not be manipulated in any way…” is standard boilerplate for the White House Flickr stream. It gives me a little thrill of pleasure whenever I pinch one of their photos for ‘Shopping, but for all I know, it’s been there since the Bush White House (assuming the White House had a Flickr stream then).
But, you know. Fun’s fun.
Say, ummm…what is this supposed to prove, exactly? Thanks to Twitter, I think, our national political conversation is something like
Nuh-uh!
Yuh-huh!
Nuh-uh!
Yuh-huh!
February 2, 2013 — 11:03 pm
Comments: 26
Okay, this is just dumb
Why are we even talking about what’s in Feinstein’s stupid bill? She doesn’t have the votes to get it out of the Senate alive. Not a hope in hell to get it through Congress. Everybody’s just flapping gums.
So, what’s going on here? I can think of a couple of good political reasons to promote a pointlessly doomed bill.
One, if it really were very popular with the electorate. If We the Pooples really wanted this thing and the legislature shot it down, she could score some points headed toward the mid-Term. But we don’t. Every single article about gun control these days calls it the “powerful gun lobby” — that’s another way of saying “popular gun lobby.” And everybody knows it.
Two, she hopes to bring it to a vote so the vulnerable Democrats from gun-loving states can score points by voting it down. But, damn, that’s a dangerous game — remind everyone that the Democrat Party is the party of thur commin’ fur ar guns.
I’ve got a feeling, none of the above. It’s just political puppet theater, like a grinning Nancy Pelosi strolling through an enraged crowd with a giant clown-hammer after passing Obamacare. It’s like they hate Red State America so much, they can’t help giving us the middle finger every chance they get. Even if it costs them dearly.
So, an assist for the good guys, I guess. Thanks, Dianne. Roll on, 2014!
January 24, 2013 — 9:31 pm
Comments: 31
FLOTUS is dressing herself again, I see
So, did everyone enjoy Michelle’s new ‘do?
No, I didn’t watch a second of the inauguration. In fact, we’ve spent the day diving for the radio or the remote control to make SURE we didn’t watch a second of it. Sometimes, it’s the better part of wisdom just to walk away.
Reading the headlines lately — all this crap about a triumphant POTUS smashing the GOP — I get the feeling the other guys are just pushing my buttons for the fun of it.
I have a big brother. I recognize a First Degree Taunting when I get one across the muzzle.
Well, I don’t give permission for my buttons to be pushed. Nyah.
Enjoy the victory parties, Chumps. See you in 2014.
January 21, 2013 — 11:51 pm
Comments: 33
We’re winning ONE of the culture wars, anyway
With all the (perfectly justified) handwringing about the culture wars and how we’re decisively losing them, I’d like to point out one battlefield that right-libertarians have absolutely PWNED!!: computer games. Particularly first-person shooters.
Partly because geeks trend libertarian. Partly because you’re, you know, shooting stuff. Partly because these games tell stories, and dystopian, Road Warrior-type stories are a fun and obvious way to tell stories about, you know, shooting stuff.
Most games of this kind are, I reckon, 80/15/5 libertarian/conservative/sociopath. Varies, depending on the game and your own playing style.
In most of them, government is either useless or actively working against you (not necessarily counting the military in a military game). And while Black Mesa or Aperture Science have a shockingly lax attitude toward employee health and safety, nonetheless it looks like corporate labs are the only player up to inventing a portal gun. You’re the lone, heavily-armed, super-athletic Randian bad-ass that’s single-handedly going to save the frickin’ world (or the embers of it, anyway) whether it likes it or not. You are capital-I Individual.
Even cooperative games, you’re cooperating to throw pipe bombs at hordes of onrushing fast zombies.
Don’t underestimate this. Playing 8 or 20 or 300 hours worth of game is an incredibly vivid and personal experience, and an awful lot of kids are playing an awful lot of games. It’ll be hard to make a liberal out of anyone who grew up being Gordon Freeman, the one free man.
Curious? Sure you are! The mega games distributor Steam is having their annual holiday sale. Up to 80% off a lot of great games.
I think I’ve scooped up about ten games for under £20. Total.
January 3, 2013 — 11:09 pm
Comments: 36
I promised you chickens
Here they are, the Four Chooks of the Apocalypse. Just tiptoed out and snapped this. As you can see, their feathers have all grown back in and they’re looking fit and ready for Winter.
Angry chicken has issues. Woe be unto anything that perches near her of an evening. I let her have a go at me, so the other chickens can settle in for the night unmolested. I don’t mean she gives me a good pecking; I mean she takes a big beakful of the tender webbing of my thumb and worries it like a terrier. Angry, angry chicken.
Shy chicken is shy among chickens but is the most aggressive with intruders. She’ll lunge at any cat that comes near — head down, butt in the air, wing feathers all spread out. She can make herself look as big as a turkey. The inside cat is terrified of her.
Crazy chicken just plain ain’t all there. She never walks anywhere. She zooms. She is scream-propelled. NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH flap-flap-flap-flap.
Bossy chicken is the Mary Poppins of chickens — practically perfect in every way. Everybody is terrified of bossy chicken. All Hail Bossy Chicken.
Now, me hearties, I have just learned that I must upgrade my Photoshop by December 31 or I fall off the upgrade ladder (I’m using CS3 and they’re up to CS6 now; that’s as far as they’ll stretch it). Two hundred pounds is a lot of money for me to scare up at Christmas time. That means I must make many lovely, cruel, jug-eared Obama ‘shops in the New Year (perhaps I’ll finally nail his likeness in his second term).
But for now, I need to go away until it scabs over a little. And by “go away” I mean post about chickens and recipes and the stupid things English people say. I shan’t be reading news and political blogs for a while (I don’t know who I hate reading more after a stinging defeat — our side or theirs). Feel free to talk about anything you like in the comments, though.
Have an awesome weekend!
November 9, 2012 — 2:29 pm
Comments: 60
Admire my enormous cabbage, bitchez
Well. My goodness, that hurt. Didn’t it?
Now, if you’ll step inside, I’m just warming up the cocoon. Tea? Coffee? Artisan moonshine?
We’ve got tons of video games we haven’t finished. And have you looked the reading list lately? Oh, we’ll have a busy few weeks. Months. Very busy.
There will be a time for rage. There will be a time when we take all that anger and disappointment, wad it into a dense, burning, white-hot fist, and…
Well. Not today. Today, our anger only serves them. Today, I am rubber and 52% of the electorate is glue.
November 7, 2012 — 2:24 pm
Comments: 38
Deep breath; here we go…!
Ding-ding-ding! With that, the polls are open on the East Coast. The fat lady is clearing her throat and doing her warmup exercises.
I decided to spare you another recycled Obama image today, mostly because I don’t want to put you off. It’s going to be a very late night for me — the polls close in Ohio midnight-thirty my time, and who thinks it’ll be over when the polls close? — and I’m going to struggle to keep up. If you could drop by and give me a poke in the ribs from time to time, I’d be much obliged.
It’s dark and quiet in my little outpost of America on the shores of the English Channel.
Oh, and VOTE, my pretties! VOTE LIKE THE WIND!
November 6, 2012 — 12:00 pm
Comments: 88
tick-tick-tick-tick
Still recycling the old Obama ‘shops. Think of it as sympathetic magic. Sweep them all away, make room for…Romney ‘shops, I guess.
Oh, and happy Bonfire Night! Sussex does Guy Fawkes in a big way (it’s kinda personal; Bloody Mary torched seventeen citizens in Lewes during that whole Catholic/Protestant thing). There will be firework displays in various villages all month long (though we’ve had a lot of rain this Fall and sodden fields have canceled some of our favorites).
In honor of the Actual Night, we just went out and let off a few Roman candles (Roman candles, get it?).
Yay Parliament! Boo Popery!
Whaddya think – am I blending in?
November 5, 2012 — 8:45 pm
Comments: 23
Ya think?
Yesterday, @exjon did the quick and dirty Photoshop on the left and posted it to Twitter. His next tweet was: for the record, it’s a fake. I mean, duh.
So the file was picked up — somehow — by the blog Forensic Photoshop, which analyzed the digital image using…ummm…digital image analysis software. It works by transforming pixels into random, glowing magenta blobs and making the president look like Curious George. It’s science. Just not as we know it.
His conclusion? Yes, it’s a cut/paste forgery.
Uhhhhhh.
I can’t quite capture the gallumphing cluelessness of his tone, so do go read it in the original Knuckleheadese.
So, let’s all take a deep breath. Vote with intelligence, not emotion. And, please, let’s resist the urge to use Photoshop in such nasty ways. Let’s make art, and clarify images – let’s not use such a wonderful tool to confuse and anger and annoy. Help make Photoshop a noun again.
What-what-what? Dude, that would be the end of this blog, right there.
November 4, 2012 — 5:06 pm
Comments: 29
My fav
This is my favorite Obama Photoshop. Just before Obama delivered his State of the Union speech in January of 2010, perky Katie Couric tweeted this:
Just had lunch with the president who seems pensive, slightly deflated, realistic, aggravated and resolute. Didn’t eat his pie.
Somehow, that didn’t eat his pie thing just cracks me up.
Yeah, I know. I don’t usually post on weekend, but I thought I’d recycle some graphics. With any luck, I won’t need them again.
November 3, 2012 — 6:16 pm
Comments: 24