Notice anything?
The Daily Caller has been digging up old Obama videos. Yesterday, they unearthed the complete video of a speech he gave at Hampton University in 2007. The media reported about the speech at the time, but they reported on a sanitized “transcript” handed to them, not on the actual stuff coming out of his mouth. So all the shouty black man bits were taken out.
But I like today’s video nugget even better. It’s from a speech he gave at the University of Chicago on MLK Day in 2002.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but rich people are all for nonviolence. Why wouldn’t they be? They’ve got what they want. They want to make sure folks don’t take their stuff.
You don’t have to squint and tilt your head to see him justifying — even inciting — a little violence and robbery here.
Anyhow, I don’t think this is any kind of game changer. Only political junkies will ever see these clips, and everybody — even the folks who are going to vote for him — know he’s a phony, race-baiting jackhole by now.
But I wanted to call attention to something. Look at the pictures. What’s missing?
Yup. Obama was once able to give long, impassioned speeches with no more than a few notes on the podium. This guy. The one who can’t sing Happy Birthday today without his head ping-ponging between two ‘prompters.
I’m thinking it’s because the man they’re trying to project to the public is a complete lie. He would have no idea what to say if it weren’t written down, because all the words he utters are foreign to him.
Enjoy the debates tonight (as if!). They’re happening two in the morning our time, so I shan’t be staying up for them. I’ll be watching the highlight reel in the morning (unless something embarrassing happens. I can’t deal with that).
October 3, 2012 — 9:40 pm
Comments: 25
The seriousness they deserve
I know, I know. It’s the most important election of our lifetimes. You know what? Every single election of my adult life has been described (in all seriousness) as The Most Important Election of Our Lifetimes.
And it’s always true. And about half the time we win TMIEoOL, and about half the time we lose it, and society lumbers on.
Don’t mean to sound cynical, but do you know we’re about the only country in the Anglosphere without a tradition of joke parties? (Well, we did have the Cool Moose Party in Rhode Island. Go Rhody!).
At a minimum, joke parties thumb their noses at the main parties, who take themselves entirely too seriously. At best, they win a few seats and are able to wreak a little much-needed havoc on The System. I know, I know…third parties throw elections to the other guys. But sometimes I think…has the GOP really been a worthy custodian of our loyalties?
You’ve probably heard of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party (pictured) in the UK. There are scores of others, though…some with a serious point, others not so much.
There’s the Church of the Militant Elvis Party, which is a sort of anti-Tesco’s supermarket party. The Citizens for Undead Rights & Equality (CURE) is the largest Zombie rights organization in the world (launched as a publicity stunt for the video game series Dead Rising in 2010. They fielded four candidates and got three hundred something votes). There’s New Millenium Bean Party, run by an orange guy on the platform of letting children choose their parents and making tattoos bilingual. Then there was the I Want to Drop a Blancmange Down Terry Wogan’s Y-Fronts Party, which was…well…it’s a sort of a pudding and he’s a sort of a radio personality.
Oh, and they have ’em in New Zealand (hullo, Oceania!) and Europe and even Iceland. Turns out, there’s even a Lemon Party in Canada! They have vowed to restructure Canada’s economy to be centred on lemon production, support global warming so lemons can be grown in Canada, abolish Toronto and repeal the law of gravity. No relation to that other thing — if you wish to sleep soundly in your bed tonight, for the love of sweet baby Jesus, do not Google “lemon party.”
Oh, well. Maybe the next election won’t be The Most Important Election of Our Lifetimes, for once, and we can treat politics with the seriousness it deserves.
As if.
October 2, 2012 — 10:06 pm
Comments: 26
They’re heeeeere
You know that scene in Poltergeist, where it’s a quiet night and Whatshername experimentally cracks open the door to the haunted bedroom — and suddenly it’s all screaming and howling and shit flying around the room and records playing themselves? That scene?
Twitter is exactly like that lately.
Oh, I admit it’s kind of fun when things go my partisan way. It was awesome to watch the shitstorm today when President Change We Can Believe In said “you can’t change Washington from the inside” (he’s said it before, but that was back before he was on the inside. It’s a really bad message for an incumbent begging for re-election).
Mostly, though, I’m having a hard time matching pace with the Twitter cycle in election season. It’s all a little screamy and hand-wavy for me. I’m sure I must have mentioned my legendary cool, yes?
September 20, 2012 — 11:08 pm
Comments: 23
Wherein Weasel admits defeat
Nope. Sorry. Over my head. Out of my league. There is absolutely nothing I can do to this photo to make it creepier than the original. I’m sorry, people who are Photoshopping this image — you are living a lie.
That there’s Jim Messina, campaign manager for Obama 2012 and world creepiest ginger. The idea belonged to deputy campaign manager Stephanie Cutter, though. I guess you were supposed to write something on your flesh that you like about the Obama administration, take a picture and post it to the Twitter hashtag #forall.
That’s the kind of quirky, madcap kampaign kut-up that might have appealed to The Youth in 2008. No doubt that’s why these dweebs keep trying to float stuff like that.
But the 2008 campaign was like the Blair Witch Project — interesting idea, only works once. You can’t run a “what the hell, let’s give the new guy a try” campaign second time around.
Four years down the line, and it’s just sad. There you are, standing in front of a mirror with junk scribbled on your flesh in magic marker, looking every inch the kiddie-diddler.
September 19, 2012 — 10:52 pm
Comments: 32
ZOMG!
In case you missed it somehow, I’m riffing on the Newsweek “Muslim Rage” cover, which annoyed some and amused some and disgusted others. Yes, that is speck of spittle in his beard. No, I did not P’shop it in (but, as per usual, if anyone wants the raw color Photoshop file to make your own high-larious captions, drop me an email).
And before you get too complacent, First Worldies, I’m totally not kidding — the McRib has been rolled back to December. It was scheduled to go out in October.
ULULULULU!!!!
September 17, 2012 — 10:18 pm
Comments: 31
Enjoy the Streisand Effect, boys!
ZOMG, have you seen The Innocence of Muslims? Oh My God, OHMIGOD, omigod! It is the dumbest thing ever.
The trailer, anyway. As far as anyone knows, that’s all that’s out there. The longest clip I could find is 13:51 and it is pure triple-A tincture of stupid. (The link is a generic YouTube search of “Innocence of Muslims” – I wouldn’t worry too much about the clip coming down. There are dozens of copies, including the one I saved locally).
It’s a dozen or so American community theater refugees hamming it up in front of a green screen, mostly against a backdrop of desert dunes. So nobody casts a shadow and the sand doesn’t move when they walk on it. Oh, it’s rich.
And, boy, were those poor bastards set up — they were acting a perfectly innocent generic sand epic. The inflammatory parts were dubbed in later, in different voices, with different mics, in a different room. The lips don’t synch at all.
“Is Mohammed gay?” “Of course!”
You can clearly see the original line was Gamera is a friend to all children.
Seriously, you’d have to be a platinum ‘tard to be the slightest provoked by this silly pile of fluff.
Which is, of course, entirely not what happened. I mean, look at those scruffy young men shouting in the streets. They obviously don’t have YouTube accounts. If they had access to funny cat videos, would they be that cross?
September 14, 2012 — 10:41 pm
Comments: 27
Use the word, Lefties
Oh, man. I thought I was angry yesterday. Today, I am apopleptic.
Sorry, y’all. I’m not a very good angry blogger. It’s just not my thing. “Happy, poo-flinging monkey” is more my style. I’ll just sit over here and seethe for a bit.
Go read Ace. He’s a much better angry blogger than I am. He makes an excellent point: by calling for sanctions or consequences or shunning or jail or something against this anti-Muslim filmmaker or that yahoo Koran-burning preacher or whoever, what American ‘liberals’ are really asking for is American legal recognition of the crime of blasphemy.
Blasphemy laws.
They can’t say it. They can’t think such a thing of themselves. Blasphemy is such a crude and un-nuanced and illiberal idea, calling it by that name is like biting down on a scrap of aluminum foil. But that’s the proper word for the thing they’re demanding today.
Make them call it by its proper name.
September 12, 2012 — 9:46 pm
Comments: 41
I’m so confused.
I wonder what would happen if you walked up to this lady in the shiny pink vagina costume and said, “I totally see you as a big vagina with legs.” She’d probably poke you in the snoot. Feminists are so confusing.
I want to acknowledge that I owe a debt to feminists. It would be churlish not to. The original old broads, I mean. Some of the changes they made to society have suited me very well, thanks so much.
But isn’t it the essence of feminism getting a job and buying your own damn pills? What, you need the patriarchy to meet your most basic needs for you, honey? Isn’t that kind of 1950-think?
Eh. Sorry. I’m a bit grouchy. I’ve been listening to this whole Republican War on Women meme the Dems are trying to launch and it’s really getting on my tits. Like so:
Booker labored to keep the Democrats’ dopey War On Women narrative alive: “I heard people stand up and say, ‘I love women.’ I heard people stand up: ‘I’ve got a sister. I’ve got a mother.’ That’s like saying you’re not a bigot cause you have a black friend.
What the hell do you mean, ‘I’ve got a sister. I’ve got a mother.’ Yoo-hoo! Over here! Lookit me! I am a Republican and I AM A WOMAN!!!
It’s like only men can be Republicans. Because female Republicans are just Stepford voters, brainlessly doin’ what the menfolks say (in between squeezing out young’uns).
And they think WE are the throwbacks to olden days? Cunts.
September 4, 2012 — 9:38 pm
Comments: 53
I made you a chair that is empty
Happy Empty Chair Day! Today’s the day our tribe displays empty chairs prominently.
And because I assume my readers are all lazy sacks of shit like me, I made you a Photoshop Empty Chair Day kit! You can make fun of Dear Leader without leaving the snug four walls of mom’s basement!
You can choose from a folding chair or a lovely wooden chair, if you prefer. They’re .png files, so they’re openable by lots of graphics programs (not just Photoshop, which you probably can’t afford in Obama’s America), but the .png format allows me to give you a transparent background.
That’s right — I did all the cutting around the little irritating bits for you!
Oops, gotta run. Have fun!
September 3, 2012 — 1:10 pm
Comments: 19
Winning!
D’awwwww…okay, yes. It’s adorable. But still — couldn’t he let the little girl win?
Have a good weekend, everyone! Go outside. Sit in the sun. Hurry. I heard Autumn sneaking up on us out there today.
August 31, 2012 — 7:59 pm
Comments: 27