He WOULD be a Picard guy.
That’s right. President Desperateguy McFlopsweat is doing a Reddit town hall thingie tonight. You can view it here.
If anybody wants my working copy of the pic — color, broken into Photoshop layers, ready for your recaptioning genius — drop me a line. I’d post it, but WordPress gets all pissy when you try to upload a .psd file.
August 29, 2012 — 10:16 pm
Comments: 16
Humility
Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. But for the sake of posterity (he’s an ignorant bastard, posterity), Barack Obama today observed the death of Neil Armstrong, first human on the moon, by running a picture of…himself — Obama — President Momjeans — staring at the moon. Plus, the pic is four months old.
Oh, I don’t for a moment think he personally approves the junk that goes on his Tumblr page. But sometimes, optics are everything…and this one, coming from the Narcissist in Chief, is a beaut.
August 27, 2012 — 10:21 pm
Comments: 22
Fetid nuts
Ohhhh…this is perfecto. Lefties singing about the need to give O one more term.
No, seriously. It’s in the just so toe-curlingly awful it’s worth a watch class, no doubts. But be sure to read the lyrics (or watch the subtitled version) — otherwise some of it is pretty impenetrable.
I particularly love being called an incontinent fetid nut by people whining about the lack of civility in politics.
Oh, as for their disclaimer:
One Term More is a transformative political parody rendered under fair use. It is intended solely as social commentary, criticism and personal expression. Its character and purpose is informational, noncommercial and not-for-profit. IT IS NOT FOR SALE.
You might think that’s a glimmer self-awareness. Like, we realize this video makes us look like kiddie-diddling douche tools, but it’s all in good fun, wink-wink.
Um, no. What that means is, this is a parody of Les Mis, please don’t sue us.
True story. When Uncle B and I were first dating, he took me to see Les Mis. Neither of us had been to a big West End musical before, and this one was the most famous one running. That’s all we knew about it (not counting Victor Hugo).
We didn’t know each other very well at the time. So intermission rolls around, and I’m kind of cutting my eyes over to him, and he’s kind of giving me the hairy eyeball. And finally, one of us says, tentatively, “this thing really…kind of…sucks, doesn’t it?” God, it was awful. There wasn’t a recognizable, hummable tune in the whole fucking thing.
Musical theater has fallen a long, long way since Oklahoma.
Oh, I bet you guys thought I was going to do Joe Biden. Well, I’m sorry, but all the Photoshop in the world can’t make that man look any stupider than he looks au naturelle.
August 14, 2012 — 10:41 pm
Comments: 43
Ohhhhh, yesssss
Yeah, baby. You want it in color. You know you do.
Sour, dessicated old hag Andrea Mitchell declared, “this is not a pick for women.”
In other news, we secretly replaced Andrea Mitchell’s estrogen pills with bath salts. Let’s see if anyone notices!
Do I like Paul Ryan for VP? Oh, yes. Ohhhhhh, yessssssss.
August 13, 2012 — 1:44 pm
Comments: 42
Coo-coo, coo-coo
Hello! It’s me again! Back with another trenchant graphical analysis of today’s top story.
Mmm-hmm. I drew Harry Reid as a drooling moron.
That’s an upgrade for Harry. I think he’s something uglier and nastier.
The Washington Post thinks so to:
“For Reid, this is yet another brazen and tasteless partisan attack. As majority leader, he has managed to sink the public image of the Senate even lower than it would otherwise be. He contributes to bad feelings, gridlock and the sense — nay, the reality — that everything is done for political advantage. Reid is a crass man, the very personification of the gaudy and kitschy Las Vegas Strip.”
Bolding mine, because those words made me shiver with delight.
Also, I drew a bird on his head!
August 6, 2012 — 10:44 pm
Comments: 18
Back on the stuff
Yup, Barack is back on the prompter.
Alternate title, “I can’t quit you” (but I didn’t see Brokeback Mountain and I always hesitate to use a movie line in the dark).
Alternate picture idea: does this flag make my president look small?
August 2, 2012 — 10:21 pm
Comments: 25
Hey kids! Be the first one on your block!
Get your own, official, do-it-yourself Barack Obama “You Didn’t Build That” joke kit! Just download the pre-cut, multi-layered Photoshop template, insert a snapshot of the life’s work of some poor taxpaying sap, and watch Dear Leader denigrate the value of his hard work and initiative.
The Obama camp is out in force today, screaming that when he said, “if you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that” what he meant was you didn’t build the roads and schools and other infrastructury things that made the business possible.
Okay. Well, maybe. But honestly, is that any better?
Take your average businessman. No, he didn’t build the roads to his factory. He also didn’t sew the suit he’s wearing, didn’t brew the cup of coffee he bought at Dunkin’ Donuts on the way to work, didn’t put the gold crown on his back molar. Duh. So what?
Everyone buys many thousands of goods and services in a lifetime — why are we supposed to feel perpetually guilty about the ones we’re forced to purchase from government and pay for with taxes?
July 19, 2012 — 7:13 pm
Comments: 24
Something light and fluffy
Awesome confluence of man and t-shirt, from Anorak‘s picture of the day. If you don’t read Anorak, you should. Our good friend David Burge (AKA Iowahawk) is a contributor.
That’s it. Have a good weekend, folks. Forget about SCOTUS and POTUS and FLOTUS for a couple of days.
Me, I have to go make cupcakes for the church bake sale.
Yes, really.
Ehhhh…fuck off.
June 29, 2012 — 9:31 pm
Comments: 22
Breaking my heart, it’s what SCOTUS is *for*
Or you can regard that object as the warm, throbbing heart of the Republic. Justice Roberts joins the liberal justices to declare Obamacare legal, by renaming the mandate a tax. So even if we get this puppy repealed (a big if), the precedent is there — there’s nothing Congress can’t make you buy. Hope you like broccoli.
You won’t believe me, but I had a bad feeling about this one. And the more our side declared tentative victory, the more the hair on the back of my neck itched.
I wonder if lefty journalists are scrambling to pull all those articles about how 5-4 decisions prove the court has devolved into a stinking hotbed of political hackery.
June 28, 2012 — 2:30 pm
Comments: 49
Brrrrr…
Oh. Ick. This just gets worse.
First it was Michelle inviting us to sign a Father’s Day card to Barack. Then it was the whole tacky wedding registry thing.
You know, maybe he didn’t sign off on those personally. But the latest Win Dinner With Barack contest includes a creep-inducing YouTube video of Barack and Michelle reminiscing about their first date. Right on the page. Right there. On the page.
The tagline on the video is “Want to join them on their next date night?” Double-dating with the Preezy of the United Steezy.
Oh. Ach. She’s just retweeted the link.
Oh, this is so. Not. What I want from a political figure.
June 26, 2012 — 9:51 pm
Comments: 18