Moar Weiner
This isn’t an insightful observation; I just noticed what a big ol’ head the congressman has. Still, you have to give it to him — the man has taken care of himself. Nice pecs.
Sorry to be a bore, but I’m still loving this scandal. The man who launched a career with dirty tricks has deep-sixed it with dirty pics.
Dirty dick pics.
Teehee.
If you’re starting to feel a teensy bit sorry for this Weiner, watch the CBS interview this lying shitbag did just a few days ago. Or read this transcript (warning: .pdf) of his FaceBook chats with that Las Vegas lady (who knew liberal sex talk included so much politics?).
This is one self-immolation we can all enjoy guilt free.
June 7, 2011 — 10:17 pm
Comments: 65
Wee wilting Weiner
O #Weinergate, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways!
Andrew Breitbart says he was contacted (a week before Anthony Weiner’s gray crotchshot hit the innertubes) by a woman who claimed to have traded rude snapshots with the wee Congressman. That’s why rumors of scandal pre-dated the scandal (leading many to suspect a set-up). Looks like he intends to dribble the pics out slooooowly at BigJournalism and BigGovernment.
The ones that aren’t too rude to print, he says. For all we know, the super nasty ones are of the lady, but I’m happy to let that stench waft around indiscriminately.
If you can spare the time, nine minutes and nine seconds of Weiner being a screaming, sarcastic dick in his capacity as progressive hero. Sure, it’s painful to watch, but when it’s over, you’ll find yourself enjoying the droop of Weiner as much as I do.
Will I ever tire of Weiner jokes? Ask the blue tits on my fat balls. Ask Aunty’s Spotted Dick. The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind.
No, wait…that’s fart jokes.
June 6, 2011 — 2:12 pm
Comments: 18
Too easy? Too obvious?
Newlywed New York congressman Anthony Weiner tried to private message a picture of his crotch to a 21-year-old Seattle co-ed. He made a one-character error that sent the link to all of his Twitter followers.
At least, that’s the way Bill Ockham explained it.
Rep. Weiner first said he didn’t know the girl. Then he said his account was hacked. Now, he’s calling it a “prank.”
He’s really not all that interested in talking about it.
No law enforcement agency has been called in. No suspects have been named (except in the leftwing blogosphere). Weiner has lawyered up and isn’t taking questions.
The only out I can see is if it’s actually an intern manning his Twitter account for him. But why he wouldn’t just admit it and drop the flunky in the shit, I do not know.
And if he’s going to invent said Mystery Intern, he’d better do it right quick.
Anyhow, I reckon Rep. Weiner could use some cheering up about now. I’m thinking of sending him a two-pack of Aunty’s Spotted Dick.
I’m thoughtful like that.
May 31, 2011 — 8:29 pm
Comments: 35
Probably not what the Chairman had in mind…
Character buffing just took a turn for the weird. According to this article in the Guardian, China forces prisoners to play online games like World of Warcraft to amass gold, which is then traded for non-pretend money.
China traded £1.2 billion ($1.9B) in monopoly money in 2008. That’s 100,000 people who farm gold as a full-time job (presumably not counting the afore-mentioned prisoners). They can make more money selling a virtual commodity than a real one.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what income disparity can do on an international scale. While it lasts.
Me, I bought Dead Space 2 a couple of weeks ago, but promised myself I’d play through Dead Space (1) all the way at regular difficulty before I touched the new game. Finished the final boss fight earlier today, so it’s Adiós Weasel for a while.
New Dead Pool next Friday, 6pm WBT. With the demise of Jeff Conaway, Tawny joins steve on the short list of double dick recipients. Congratulations! And, ummm…nobody sit next to those two, m’kay? Have a good weekend, everyone!
May 27, 2011 — 9:00 pm
Comments: 15
Hey, baby…about that special relationship…
President Sooper Genius muffed the queen’s toast yesterday. Among other things.
j/k — what he really said was, “next time, can I wear the sparkly hat?”
May 25, 2011 — 8:17 pm
Comments: 26
I wonder if he dotted his squiggles with hearts
They’ve got Osama’s diary. The jokes just write themselves.
At least, I hope so. I didn’t write any.
May 11, 2011 — 9:45 pm
Comments: 18
We wuz robbed
Do you still doubt Obama’s genius? Could anyone else take the greatest PR coup in a century and turn it to shit in three days?
Not releasing the photos. And giving some sanctimonious bullshit waffle about why — before he goes to stand at Ground Zero for his 2012 election photo op.
He doesn’t own those photos. We do. We were wronged as a people and we have the right to see justice done. We watched office workers jump off the top floor of a skyscraper — jump rather than burn — and we have a right to see the dead face of the monster who ordered it.
This viewing of dead monsters has a long tradition. That’s Dillinger up there. My grandmother was one of the thousands who filed past the bodies of Bonnie and Clyde (she said they were dirty — old dirt, like people who hadn’t washed in a very long time).
Call it primitive, but it’s way down in our DNA. Things won’t be right until we see his face. Dead on a slab.
I thought that was the whole point of sending in the SEALs instead of bombing the complex flat.
May 4, 2011 — 9:05 pm
Comments: 46
This is boring
I was going to post about something else tonight, but you just know the moment I do, the feckless White House will release that snuff video and ruin my fun.
May 3, 2011 — 10:21 pm
Comments: 35
Osama be Coolin’
Aw, now, everybody is saying such ugly things today…I guess it’s up to me to post something pretty.
You know what? Today only — nothing but praise for the president. It was a tough, risky call and he made the right choice.
I’ve never been so pleased to lose a dick. Congratulations, Montenegro. Y’all know what this means — new Deadpool starts Friday!
May 2, 2011 — 6:43 pm
Comments: 40
FWIW
True story: for several years of my employment (circa 1994 – 2004), my main job responsibility was to convert many thousands of pages of our core tech doc to .pdf and publish them to our field staff, thrice a year. I went to school for it and everything. They useta call me the PDF Lady. Oh, if only I were kidding.
To this day, if Uncle B downloads a particularly awkward Adobe file, he fixes me with a cold and bitter stare.
So here’s what I think is going on. This thing looks to have been created by taking a scan of the original document as it was bound in a book (hence the falloff on the lefthand side)…that scan was then was sharpened — either over-sharpened or converted to black-and-white, fax-style — giving the type terrible black jaggies and a white halo. Note some letters (particularly where typed letters touch parts of the printed form) are grayer. The result was then superimposed over the green patterned background. I’m at a loss to explain the soft gray pencil marks; perhaps they were too pale to trigger the sharpening.
My best guess is that this image was produced by some antiquated, stupid but perfectly legitimate automated document storage and retrieval system. Godnose we in the corporate world were bombarded by startups trying to sell shit like this, particularly in the early years, so there’s no telling how much grossly expensive bad ware was hawked to the government. It was probably intended to “enhance” a scan and superimpose it over a state seal or other legitimizing watermark.
In the absence of any new information, I’m going to say: legitimate and official. Also crude, ugly and utterly uninspiring of confidence. Like an electronic vote divorced from its original paper counterpart, it’s probably real but SO easily could be effed with.
Eh…almost like they don’t want the controversy to die down.
April 27, 2011 — 9:29 pm
Comments: 47