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Let’s share more

Hey, it’s the weekend! In the wake of last week’s epically popular thread Show Me Your Favorite Scar, how about Dumb Things I Have Done?

That’s an unspeakably target-rich environment for me, but I already promised to tell you about the time I decoupaged myself into my panties. It’s not actually a very exciting story, but here goes.

I was living in an ancient apartment building, which was controlled by a single thermostat. Said thermostat was in the apartment of a very old lady. Needless to say, Beelzebub would’ve been comfy in that place. The rest of us went about all Winter in our beach clothes with the windows thrown wide.

This to explain why I was lacquering a wooden box wearing nothing but my underpants. I knocked over the can of lacquer, which poured into the top drawer of my desk, and from there to my lap. I had important things in that desk drawer; fiddly gadgety things — this was back when a decent calculator was a hundred bucks — so I was concentrating real hard on getting things out of that drawer and wiped.

I didn’t really think about the hardening puddle of lacquer in my lap until those oh-so-volatile lacquer solvents reached the oh-so-sensitive tissue of my lady bits.

And by that time, it was almost too late.

Lacquer dries real fast. Pain, flat panic, soap and an absolute horror of explaining myself to a paramedic is all that got me out of those panties. Large bits of me went with the panties. Large bits of the panties stayed with me…oh, for weeks afterwards.

It’s not the definitive dumb thing I’ve done in a lifetime of dumb-thing-doing, but it is representative of the type.

And you?

April 30, 2010 — 10:05 pm
Comments: 79