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They watch us. Always.

I don’t know. Somehow the out of focus makes this one funnier to me.

Got jammed up tonight. Had to help Uncle B do some proofreading. So…I dunno…how’s about I fob you off with the ten jokes voted the best of the Edinburgh Fringe arts festival:

10) “My friend died doing what he loved … Heroin.”

9) “I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can’t even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails.”

8) “Someone asked me recently – what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I’m not falling for that one again, wife.”

7) “I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure.”

6) “My mother told me, you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.”

5) “I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.”

4) “Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought… once you’ve hired the car…”

3) “People say ‘I’m taking it one day at a time’. You know what? So is everybody. That’s how time works.”

2) “Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.”

1) “I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”

Ba-dum tssss.

September 1, 2011 — 10:16 pm
Comments: 24