web analytics

Lookit the laaambs…!

We call these guys the Light Brigade. Our property is bounded on one end by a stream (it’s actually a drainage ditch, but that sounds uglier than it is. Swans breed in it, dammit). When the sun falls on the far bank in the afternoon, ten or twenty lambs go tear-assing down the bank bomb-be-de-bomb-be-de-bomb-be-de. Then, about ten seconds later, they come tear-assing back up again. Hours at a time.

Lambovision. I took this picture from the comfort of my lawn chair, no fooling. Only, not today. Today sucked.

I just couldn’t leave everyone staring at a political Photoshop all weekend. The dawning realization that the government is run — literally, as Biden would say — by a bunch of union thugs is just too much to bear.

Lambs instead. Good weekend, everyone.

May 17, 2013 — 10:02 pm
Comments: 37

Oh, good. All better now.

After you stare at this a while, the mouths follow you when you move, all over the room. Word.

p.s. I think “the president said some words” is an aceism, but I can’t find it.

May 16, 2013 — 10:27 pm
Comments: 13

Three hens, one nest

I did a political ‘Shop tonight, but it sucked, so please enjoy some chicken porn instead.

Yes, there is another, empty nest box right next to this one. Chickens don’t care. They’re natural conservatives. (That’s poor Vita top left, with only her tail showing. The rest of her is buried somewhere under the other two pushy old birds).

I had another talk with a local chook breeder today. She’s had a good hatching this time. Possibilities we would be interested in include black, chocolate and lemon (my, that sounds delicious). It’ll be another month before they’re old enough to tell the girls from the boys and take them out from under the heat lamps. That’s the earliest we can bring a couple home.

Oooo, the anticipation…

May 15, 2013 — 11:03 pm
Comments: 28

Mine. Get your own.

Okay, so it’s looking like the administration deliberately leaked the IRS-leaning-on-Obama’s-enemies story. I guess the thought was, it was going to break anyway, why not use it to knock Benghazi off the front page?

I’m thinking. Maybe. This was not so smart. The media, possibly stung by the idea there really was a there there in Benghazi and they should probably have been covering it, decided this IRS stuff was just really…not cool, guys.

But this AP phone records story? May be the stupidest thing this bunch of bozos has done to date. Two months worth of phone records for New York, Washington, Hartford and the main number for the AP in the House of Representatives press gallery, plus personal numbers. Outgoing, possibly incoming. The AP’s not sure yet.

If it was meant to be a Chicago-style warning, it was more of an “oh, hai — we have fucked up your relationship with your current and potential sources, possibly forever, and we know a whole bunch of stuff about your bidness that we shouldn’t. Kthxbai.”

Our journalist friends think a whole hell of a lot of themselves. This is going to move the media to rage, just when the administration needs them most.

I know, I know…this cascade of revelations seems awfully contrived, and maybe it is. But, if so, I don’t think it’s going to turn out quite the way they planned.

May 14, 2013 — 10:02 pm
Comments: 49

College men

Oh, good. President Smartass reported for duty today. Where do we find these guys?

May 13, 2013 — 9:42 pm
Comments: 28

Dead Pool Round 50: such a nice, round number

Poor old Harryhausen and xul takes the dick! A second win, and a birthday win!

You know, it’s a funny thing. We’ve had forty nine Dead Pools so far and each one easily gets a hundred, a hundred and fifty unique entries. So how come we ended up with so many double winners? I’m sure it makes perfect sense to a statistician, but I am not one of those. It mystifies me.

Oh, yes. And then there’s Steve.

We don’t talk about Steve.

Right! On to the roolz…

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original sketch by moi. That is, if the winner chooses to send me a mailing address. I wouldn’t blame the winner for not, because what if I turned up one day and tried to touch the winner for money? Still…official certificate!

May 10, 2013 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 118

Hillary Rodham Herp-de-derp

Mon dieu, it looks like Napoleon was right: the Benghazi hearings are turning up lots of incompetence and absolutely no plot ideas for an interesting, complicated spy novel.

I haven’t followed the hearings, I’ve been getting my information in chunklets from all around the web. I should have kept track of where exactly so I could link them in this post, but I didn’t. That’s why I regard myself not so much as a journalist but more of a mouthy old cow with a full, legal copy of Photoshop.

Anyway, it looks like Stevens was in Benghazi at Hillary’s explicit request because she intended to build an enduring diplomat presence in that city. And she deliberately turned down requests for more security there because she thought muscling up would look bad to the locals. Foamy Muslim nutburgers respond so well to displays of goodwill and military weakness, don’tcha know.

As to why requests for backup on the night of the attack were turned down…well, I don’t think we’ve gotten to the bottom of it. But it’s a good bet she probably still thought the situation could be salvaged if we didn’t escalate it by…no, geez, that is so retarded.

And the stupid video story? Well, if the whole thing blew up over a spontaneous protest, nobody (Hillary) could be blamed for not seeing in coming and preparing. Barack was cool with that (okay, this is me talking) because if he has a choice between blaming a bad thing on a Muslim and blaming it on America’s founding principles, the Land of the Free is going to lose every damn time.

I’m coming around to the idea these bozos really, genuinely think the Arab Spring is a force for good, and it loves the Obama Administration.

Right. Let’s talk about something more cheerful, like Death. Here. Tomorrow. Six sharp Weasel Blog Time. Dead Pool Round Fifty.

May 9, 2013 — 10:42 pm
Comments: 41

It will explain nothing

So, the Benghazi hearings. This is one of those issues that make me feel like I have gone cracked, because nothing about it makes any damn sense.

It looks like State systematically downgraded and denied security in Libya, even as diplomats in country pleaded for more. Why? When the call came for help, it was denied. Why? We’ve always beefed up security in the run up to September 11, but not in this hotbed of Islamism. Why not? (I’ve heard that byzantine thing about a plot to trade Stevens for the blind sheik. I don’t believe a word of it, but it is the only explanation that actually explains any of this screwiness).

Our consulate was burned down and four Americans killed. An attack on a diplomatic compound is universally regarded as an act of war. So that stupid lie about it being a spontaneous riot, not a premeditated attack — why would that have been better? How was that helpful to the ass covering operation? The facility was still undergunned in a bad place and that was going to come out regardless.

And really, MSM? Really? This thing is huge by any objective measure. You have the balls to call the investigation partisan? My, we’ve come a far piece down a dangerous road.

Related: it’s tacky as shit to make Hillary’s presidential aspirations a part of this story. No doubt it’s going through her mind, but to write about the next election as though our biennial horse race is always a natural and important part of any major event is, ummm…excuse me: FOUR DEAD DIPLOMATS.

May 8, 2013 — 10:07 pm
Comments: 30

Happy birthday to xul!

Beg pardon, I was wrong: Xul had Harryhausen in the Dead Pool. And it’s his birthday!

So, happy birthday, Xul — you win the dick! You know what to do if you want it.

The rest of the Justice League, assemble here Friday, 6pm sharp.
Dead Pool Round Fifty!

— 9:50 am
Comments: 11

This guy.

Aw. Ray Harryhausen has been and gone. As Wikipedia put it, “The Harryhausen family announced his death via Twitter and Facebook on May 7, 2013.” He had lived in London since 1960. I did not know that.

I adored every frame of his stop-motion animation, but I think there’s a reason everyone points to this scene from Jason and the Argonauts. A slight jerkiness spoils the effect of an animated monkey or the sinuous snakes on Medusa’s head, but these bone soldier guys? They were splendid little models, and they moved exactly the way you’d expect an animated skeleton to move: all crouchy elbows and knees.

Here’s the fight scene. And here’s a short clip of Harryhausen talking about animating the skeleton fight in Sinbad.

(I’m sure the skeletons in Skyrim are an homage, but I love the fact they’re the biggest pussies in the land: lob a rock at them and they disintegrate into comical bone xylophones).

Anyway, RIP Harryhausen. And no, no-one had him in the Dead Pool.

May 7, 2013 — 9:47 pm
Comments: 20