Dead Pool 192: new for 2026!
Barney Fife takes it with Brigitte Bardot. All post mortem attempts to defame her have made me like her more.
My mother loved Barney Fife. Brigitte Bardot, I’m not so sure.
0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.
1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).
2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.
3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.
4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.
5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.
6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.
7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.
8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.
The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.
Note: I am woefully behind on dick deliveries. If I owe you one, you’ll know how long. I ain’t gived up, but I haven’t drawn much since lockdown. Some day, your heirs might hear from my heirs.
January 2, 2026 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 51
O-kay
I asked Grok to give me a picture of 2026, and this is what I got: a giant Trump next to a tiny desk.
ChatGPT froze for an hour trying to draw a neon 2026 and MidJourney regurgitated four typically weird hallucinations with no discernable theme. MidJourney does nice work when you carefully describe what you want, but it sucks at improvisation.
Happy New Year, y’all! Dead Pool tomorrow.
January 1, 2026 — 4:47 pm
Comments: 6
I know this!
You forget – I have a certificate in Chickenology from the University of Edinburgh. As part of the course work was a very interesting article called something like How the Chicken Conquered the World, but I don’t think it was this wordy article of a similar name from the Smithsonian.
Yes, the Romans had chickens and prized them. Ditto the Chinese. “The domesticated chicken has a genealogy as complicated as the Tudors, stretching back 7,000 to 10,000 years and involving, according to recent research, at least two wild progenitors and possibly more than one event of initial domestication.”
The chicken descends mainly from the red junglefowl, which came from around the Philippines, South India. That sort of area.
The way I remember it, there was one area that had a glut of food every ten years or so and the local flock would ramp up to produce an egg a day during those good times. So in domestic settings, where they were always well fed, they continued to put out a stupid amount of eggs.
When you think about it, laying an egg every day doesn’t make a lot of evolutionary sense in the wild. But it’s different in a domestic setting, when you’re rewarded for it and bred by the billions.
Someone once said, if you want to have a lot of an animal, teach humans to eat it.
December 31, 2025 — 6:38 pm
Comments: 6
Is this real?
Uncle B sent me this link – the evolution of the chicken. I was surprised to see it start with a modern-looking fish. Is this just AI slop?
I know, I know…I can talk.
Looks like Barney Fife is the dickwinner! Hoorah! New Dead Pool Friday.
December 30, 2025 — 7:12 pm
Comments: 8
Close…
Just for fun, I asked several AI to illustrate the fourth day of Christmas, without giving them any other information. I wanted to see if they would use the song as source material.
MidJourney didn’t get the brief at all. One of the images was various dinosaurs or other reptiles dressed as Santa sitting around a Christmas tree.
Grok gave me two nice pictures of four birds sitting on a snowy branch. The birds look a bit like blackbirds, which is probably just by chance, but would be canon. The internet tells me the “four calling birds” were actually “four colly birds” in the oldest printed version of the song – blackbirds, that is. Also, it got the correct number of birds. Also, picture of birds.
ChatGPT understood and gave me a charming Christmas card illustration featuring what look like doves. Okay, there were six of them, but I’ll still call that a win.
That’s when I realized today is the fifth day of Christmas.
So there’s ChatGPT again. Wrong number of rings, but I’ll take it. Looks sweet in color.
December 29, 2025 — 5:59 pm
Comments: 4
And a merry Boxing Day
Had a splendid Christmas, thank you. Hope you did too. Now comes the Week of Turkey.
December 26, 2025 — 4:37 pm
Comments: 2
We wish you a merry…
Cold, sunny and windy. I’ll take it after weeks of relentless gray.
Our tree always looks like it was decorated by 8-year-olds.
December 25, 2025 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 3
‘Twas the afternoon before Christmas
Fire in the daytime! What Christmas luxury. Also, swiss roll for breakfast.
Not this fire, though – this is AI slop.
December 24, 2025 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 6
Hmmm…not bad
The prompt was “black and white cat gnawing roast beef.” It looks amazingly like our actual cat, except our actual cat doesn’t eat people food of any kind (nor even Dreamies).
We did have roast beef for Sunday roast this week. It was very expensive and terrible. I’ve made the remnants into beef stew, though, which is excellent.
Did our last bits of shopping today, picked up the turkey (£93.89 if you please), ready to rock and roll.
December 23, 2025 — 6:13 pm
Comments: 10
Just the thing…
We watched Lucy Worsley’s Tudor Christmas last night, just to jiggle the mood. Mucho recommendo.
If you don’t know Lucy, she was a curator for Historic Royal Palaces for twenty years and does a lot of historical programs on the BBC. We call her Loopy Lucy. Any excuse to dress up in period costume. Slight speech impediment. Amusing and harmless.
Turns out it’s from 2024. BBC’s iPlayer is here, but you might have to set your VPN to England and swear you’re a loyal subject of Good King Booboo. It looks like several people have put it on YouTube. I wonder how that works.
December 22, 2025 — 6:08 pm
Comments: 3