sweasel.com

Deliver, Weaz! Deliver like the wind!

And take heart amidst the deepening gloom that it’s Friday – which means it’ll be Saturday in roughly one day – more or less!

Ah, I knew I could count on you, McGoo. (I will NOT get sucked into the internet, I will NOT get sucked into the internet, I will NOT get sucked into the internet)

Your mother is now in the pantheon of my official personal heroes. Such love, wit and darkness… dem’s good genes you got.

‘Count on me’ or ‘resigned to my incessant, babbling presence’?

You know I just can’t stand to see a blank comment field. They seem to invite me – to beckon me. “Come, McGoo! Speak! make a fool out of yourself – again!”

Now I must – once again – find something really stupid to post over at my place. The pay’s lousy, but the hours suck.

Are you sure you want an Open Thread? 🙂 Okay, I’ll play.

Jib has a huge problem with Gorebal Warming apocalytpics

Kamikun! There’s no link thingie under your name! You’re, like, the last person on earth who isn’t flogging a website!

Here’s a good one: Congress Holds a Virtual Hearing in Second Life.

Okay, I’m going…

A tip for female newspaper subscribers living at the old folks home: Don’t throw your door wide open to check and see if your newspaper is there yet unless you’ve remembered to put some clothes on. Should you forget, it’s unseemly to giggle at the startled look you get.

I’m just sayin’ …

A hypothetical, gnus?

When you say ofen, do you mean a person who has lost both of their parents, or ofen frequently?

Man, I’m really reaching here.

So please not to be making

I love it when you use such a construction. I’m no good at faux bad South Asian English (and I assume that’s what you’re going for). I’m way too much of a stickler for proper grammar and spelling and punctuation and all that jazz.

Why, I even use the Oxford comma (and cringe when others don’t)!

So writing bad English is very difficult for me. Unless it happens unintentionally, which I imagine is often enough. (I do know I use way too many parentheses and commas.)

Writing bad Engrish is a skill that takes decades to develop, Musli. We ‘Mericans have an inherent head start over most other nationalities because our teachers are generally so piss-poor and our standards so loose. I kinda like it that way.

Sometimes I even do it on purpose.

In college, one of our resident advisors was majoring in education. Every single poster, note, memo, that she plastered on our floor, was misspelled and bad grammared. At first we took to using a black marker to edit them, but then gave up as she never cared to take the hint.

Sadly, Sweasel, no. NOT hypothetical at all. I don’t think she meant to show mw the, errr, promised land, but ya never know around there.

Yesterday morn, whilst motoring down the beach road on my way home, I saw a, well, ummm, FAT lady, riding a bicycle.

I say FAT advisedly, ’cause morbidly obese just doesn’t cut it. She was so big that her buns completely overlapped the seat, making her look like she had stuck the bike up her poop chute. Think hemorrhoids with wheels.

That fat.

Gotta give her props for making the attempt to get some exercise, but when I saw her, she wasn’t making any great effort, having stopped to rest, I guess.

And now yours is the only blog ever to have posted the phrase, hemorrhoids with wheels. Make’s ya proud, don’t it.

When she got off the bicycle, did it make a cork-like popping sound? I hope it did….

Apropos to nothing (not that that ever stopped me), from my British daily trivia calendar: the big portion is “Occupations of Note” (asterisked note in original):
Amanuensis – secretary or copyist
Bowyer – marker of archery bows
Chandler – candelmaker; grocer
Colporteur – door-to-door bookseller
Ecdysiast – striptease artist*
Funambulist – tightrope walker
Milliner – women’s hat maker
Ocularist – false eye manufacturer
Ostler – stableman at an inn
Petrifactioner – stone worker
Prestidigitator – sleight of hand magician
Sawyer – one who saws timber
Scrivener – writer of legal documents
Stevedore – one who unloads ships
Whitesmith – a polisher of metalwork
* Coined by American satirist H.L. Mencken

Today’s quote is:
I love to write when I feel spiteful: it’s like having a good sneeze. D.H. Lawrence (1885-1930)

I feel spiteful at the moment. While ‘Lady Chatterley’s Lover’ came off as ‘sexy’ on the surface, it really was disturbing in a pitiful way. D.H. Lawrence was a perv.

Just got another hit on “bigwetasses.com.” That was Gibby’s erudite witticism, wasn’t it?

Thanks for the hit, Gibby.

I’m green with envy,Weaz. Again.

I have every faith that the future of improbable slutty phrase Google hits belongs to AaA, McGoo.

Thanks, Weaz. We can only hope…

Ew. I just got an especially vile beastiality spam.

What do you think of this? An elephant does a self-portrait.

http://tinyurl.com/2xyvfe

Wow, that is a really, really well trained elephant! It looked like the others were doing some interesting stuff too.

Maybe Badger has seen this already:

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/badgerfail.jpg

Hahaha…that’s a great shot, McGoo. I hope that’s multiple exposures, otherwise…hell of a big badger colony. And they all look to be juveniles.

Bloody Photoshop!

I couldn’t tell if it was a multi-exposure or what. It seemed well done though.

Great photo. Nice garden too. Looks like they’ve got some P. somniferum on the left-hand side too.

I’m pretty sure that hit from bigwetasses.com wasn’t from me.

Not the hit. The phrase. You put it in a comment.

Google never forgets.

Oh, yes, I see. Excuse my computer semi-illiteracy, please.