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Journalistic standards

So the headline in the Telegraph is Man grows new nose in his arm. Must click, right? And it’s illustrated with…a picture of the professor supervising the experiment.

Oh, come on, Daily Telegraph: you wrote that headline, don’t go all bashful and coy on us now. Show us the fucking nose!

I had to drop the doctor’s name into Google and paddle around until I found the Daily Mail take on it, from last May. Yes, they sent a photographer to the lab and got a picture of the fucking nose. Yes, that thing up there is the fucking nose.

Y’all may remember I have a hate on for the Mail. It’s a bottom-feeding, shit-stirring hyperventilating rag. It’s all trout pouts and baby bumps and catching some reality TV actress with her eyes half closed and calling her drunk(?) (the question mark confers legitimacy). But, hey, at least they have the minimal journalistic chops when they’re making an astonishing claim about a nose to show me the fucking nose.

Oh. Yes. That growing a nose in your arm thing is pretty cool, too. Here’s a more recent Mail article that better illustrates how they’re doing it.

Have a good weekend, folks. Don’t grow any noses in awkward places! (But if you do — pictures!).


Comment from Redd
Time: January 25, 2013, 11:04 pm

Oh, come on! The DM has improved. It use to be all photoshopped cellulite. I watched “Embarrassingly Fat Bodies” and I am still reeling from it. They could have at least given it an X rating. Did they really have to show the up close gyno shots? Sheesh!

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: January 25, 2013, 11:23 pm

Old hat, old news. BUT it ain’t Politics!
There’s this goofball and the Vacanti Mouse is clickable.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: January 25, 2013, 11:27 pm

I always have trouble with Brit-slang. I have no idea what a “trout pout” might be… perhaps a camel toe?

And I nearly fell out today when I heard the BBC accuse one of the NationalHealthService’s finest of “taping a dummy to a baby’s face”. It took me a minute to move away from the thought of Howdy Doody siamised to some poor kid’s cheek.

Comment from Mitchell
Time: January 25, 2013, 11:35 pm

Trout Pout is the same thing as Duck Face over here I believe. Young ladies like to purse their lips when they take cell phone pics of themselves for some reason.

Comment from Redd
Time: January 25, 2013, 11:38 pm

Yeah, I see the same dumb mugging among teens. It’s very bizarre.

Comment from Skandia Recluse
Time: January 25, 2013, 11:38 pm

(The connection was reset, would you like to try again?)

Daily Mail….Daily Mail…isn’t that the tabloid where you turn immediately to page three first thing?

Guess I could go look.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 25, 2013, 11:52 pm

No, that’s the Sun, Skandia. Yes, they have an online edition. Come to think of it, I used to run a Page Three girl in the sidebar here. It was all weasels, of course.

I think “trout pout” was when they used to get the collagen injections. I mean, shee-it, who thought that looked good?

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: January 26, 2013, 12:05 am

Next thing you know, they’ll be creating Dick transplants on peoples elbows…

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: January 26, 2013, 2:12 am


Eesh think of the red faces when the person flexes his muscles.

Need I mention the inevitable boom in elbow pr0n? 😀

Comment from p2
Time: January 26, 2013, 2:49 am

Didn’t the fellas from Python (Monty) do it first? I seem to remember a short sketch with Graham Chapman as a man with his nose under his arm or something of that sort….

Comment from Nina
Time: January 26, 2013, 2:54 am

It’s been a week…but my kid’s home from England and we’re having a big party tomorrow night, so all’s well in my little corner of the planet.

No extra noses needed.

Comment from mojo
Time: January 26, 2013, 5:27 am

The eyes can be fooled, the ears deceived – but the nose knows.

Comment from tomfrompv
Time: January 26, 2013, 6:36 am

I think it was Michael Palin who had a tape player in his nose. It would play the Marseillese when he put his finger in his nostril. Nixon was still President, we were pre inflation, and gold was just beginning to be legal to own. Good times.

Comment from Redd
Time: January 26, 2013, 3:39 pm


Seriously? All this heavy snow fall barely covers the grass. You people act like you live in LA. Also, I thought last year or the year before, you really had heavy snowfall — not like this little dusting.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 26, 2013, 4:24 pm

Nope. Twelve inches is a big fall for England. Four is a big fall for us down in the South.

But to be fair, the roads scare the shit out of me in the best conditions. They’re twisty and windy, with a water-filled ditch on one side and a hedge (or a huge dropoff or a stone wall) on the other. They aren’t wide enough for two trucks to pass, but it’s the main road, so two trucks have to pass on them all day long. One of our neighbors lives on a curve where they’re forever backing one big truck into her drive so another can pass.

And that’s the main roads. The side roads are too small for two cars to get past each other.

Add to any of the above a bicyclist, pedestrian or horse…or a loony who refuses to slow down for any of the above…brrrrrr.

Comment from Nina
Time: January 26, 2013, 7:47 pm

The first week or so I was there I about had a heart attack every time we went anywhere. I was sure we were going to crash and die horribly, but Emily seemed to know what she was doing on those narrow roads. We will see how she does in Ireland in March!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 26, 2013, 7:51 pm

I’m not sure I’ll ever adjust, Nina. It’s not just the conditions, it’s the drivers. Any time we go anywhere, we see at least one suicidally stupid maneuver on the roads. Passing on a blind bend is a favorite.

You can be the best driver in the world, and if you round the corner and some asshole is on your side, it’s head-on collision or watery grave. Choose wisely!

Comment from mojo
Time: January 26, 2013, 9:10 pm

I think you ought to adopt “Show Me The Fucking Nose” as a family motto…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 26, 2013, 9:36 pm

It would probably sound cool in Latin or Middle English. I don’t think the coat of arms would be very impressive, though.

Comment from Oceania
Time: January 26, 2013, 9:46 pm

Ban NZ Milk – spread the WORD!


Yes, we really are trying to kill you all! 🙂

Comment from mojo
Time: January 27, 2013, 12:42 am

ostendat mihi stupri nasus

Comment from Oceania
Time: January 27, 2013, 3:07 am

I was flicking through the visitors book at The Royal Hawaiian last week and noticed SCAs comments in the Book.
There was something about Scube in there too!

Comment from JuliaM
Time: January 27, 2013, 5:28 am

“Trout Pout is the same thing as Duck Face over here I believe. Young ladies like to purse their lips when they take cell phone pics of themselves for some reason.”

It’s worse than that – it originated from the practice of having collagen and other substances pumped into your lips. It’s permanent.

Just google some photos of a British actress called Leslie Ash (before, and after) for a good look at why it’s not a great idea…

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: January 27, 2013, 6:38 am

No experience of Ol’ Blighty (another expression that escapes me) but Japan suffers from a lot of similar conditions: very narrow roads, small cars, trucks damn-near-as big as American trucks. What really strikes terror into me though is being a front-seat passenger in a small car on a twisty mountain road (especially if my wife’s sister is driving, but I never said that, OK?). It’s not as bad when I’m driving as I at least have the illusion of some control over my fate, but as the front seat passenger I just can’t shake the nightmare that I’m in the driver’s seat and we’re careening down the road on the wrong side and in this nightmare some demon has stolen the steering wheel and we’re all going to die… In the meantime the demon has put the steering wheel in front of my wife’s sister, but she’s too busy talking over her shoulder to my wife in the back seat, and waving her hands while she talks, to use it.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 27, 2013, 6:06 pm

Your wife’s sister has many, many relatives among the farmer’s wives who hurl Range Rovers around our country lanes, Some Veg. They usually add to the sense of fun by chattering away on their mobile phones at the same time.

Comment from AliceH
Time: January 28, 2013, 9:24 pm

SomeVeg – According to wiktionary, “Blighty” is British soldiers’ corruption of a hindi word (vilāyatī) which means “foreign”. They add “But it only came into common use as a term for Britain at the beginning of the First World War in France about 1915.

Comment from Oceania
Time: January 28, 2013, 10:06 pm

Oh my – maybe Scube could please translate some of this for me?


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