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Really, *really* valuable puke!

Man finds stinky lump of sperm whale vomit worth £100,000.

Its other name is ambergris. It’s used in perfume. Mmmmm-mmmm! It’s a rare man who thinks to himself, “I found this horrible rancid chunk of crap on the beach…lemme just go look that up on the internet!”

This is a good book on perfume: The Secret of Scent. Looking at the books linked at the bottom of that page, there are a lot of other interesting-looking titles there.

Smell is intriguing. I like smells. But my own sense of smell is very poor, so I’ve always been reluctant to wear scent, in case I make a terrible scent faux pas.

What if I wear too much? And what if I smell like whale vomit?


Comment from QuasiModo
Time: January 31, 2013, 11:38 pm

First! 🙂

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: January 31, 2013, 11:39 pm

…don’t much like perfume..it irritates my asthma and makes me wheeze.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: January 31, 2013, 11:54 pm

A lady should always wear scent; and always the same scent.
It should waft in a soft cloud around her for about circle just slightly larger than arm’s reach… Only those who come into her sphere of influence should be aware of it… and then those who are in love or are enchanted by her.
As to where to apply it, Coco Chanel explained it simply – A woman should apply perfume anywhere she expects to be kissed.

One of the most delicious feelings in the world is to recognize that your lover has come up behind you … because you smell her scent.

Weasel; as a married woman, you needn’t choose your own perfume. Try several and then choose the one that Uncle Badger likes…. it’s for him you wear it.

Comment from scottthebadger
Time: February 1, 2013, 12:12 am

We can’t get rich that way here in the Upper Midwest. Ambegris forms around impurities in the whales stomachs, like squid beaks. The whales on the Great Lakes, like Freshwater Humpbacks, the Great Walleyed Whale, and Lake Superior Sperm feed on salmon, so they don’t get the needed irritants to produce the stuff.

Don’t swim in lake Pepin, though!

That story really should be at .hoax

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 1, 2013, 12:40 am

Some Veg, that was poetry.

Comment from Deborah
Time: February 1, 2013, 1:42 am

Some Veg is bang on the mark. Now my husband is totally clueless regarding perfumery, has never bought one drop for me, but he comes home sober every night and lets me buy all the books I want. It’s a trade off I’ll take.

But my Son, oh my beamish boy—I did something right. He loved to buy things for his girlfriends (really, he utterly destroyed the curve for his friends). He is quite lavish now, buying scent and pretties for his wife and daughters. He may not know the names of the ladies at Neiman’s but they all know HIM.

In 1977, my darling sister-in-law (I call her Stupefying Jones and you would too) gave me a bottle of Chanel No.5, and I bonded with the scent. I can’t wear anything else or I feel like I’m being unfaithful. But if I wanted to start over, how could you beat English violets?

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: February 1, 2013, 1:47 am

You’re having a tough week, Sweas!
It appears Oceania took the dead pool with Sir Paul Holmes.

Comment from EZnSF
Time: February 1, 2013, 2:01 am

I may be worth $100,000.

I got in a cab today and halfway through the trip the cabbie was leaning all over the dash and towards the back set asking ‘What is that smell? Smells like dog crap’.

I looked at my shoes, and actually had to tell him I was wearing clean cloths. (I was)(promise). But then he started talking about chem-trails, so I figured he was either a nut or I should rent my body to the scent business.

Comment from Oh Hell
Time: February 1, 2013, 2:16 am

The only vomit I ever got around here was the dog, on a pile of my books. He became an outdoor dog when I came home.
Perfume makes me sneeze.

Comment from tomfrompv
Time: February 1, 2013, 2:24 am

I wonder who discovered that whale vomit could be used to make the ladies smell nice? I’ll bet he was French.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: February 1, 2013, 2:26 am

My signature scent is Eternity by Calvin Klein. I’ve been wearing it going on 30 years now. EW!! And Some Veg is so right!

Comment from Nina
Time: February 1, 2013, 2:30 am

I like Chanel 5, too, but I’m too cheap to buy it. 🙂

Comment from Ripley
Time: February 1, 2013, 5:08 am

My husband seems to have latched on to vanilla as a scent, and I am known to, somehow, waft it…

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: February 1, 2013, 6:18 am

tomfromp: I wonder who discovered that whale vomit could be used to make the ladies smell nice?

Consider this: Chanel No. 5 was made (until recently) with civet musk – which as Shakespeare noted is “the very uncleanly flux of a cat”.

Comment from Deborah
Time: February 1, 2013, 1:30 pm

Uncle Badger could plant some sweet violets for you, Stoaty. You could extract the scent, which is so delicate it would be almost impossible to overdose or offend with violets. Violet may be the perfect scent (with lavender a close second).

I used to have a remarkable sense of smell, until chemotherapy killed it. Finally, after two years, my sense of smell is returning, though I don’t think it will ever be as good as it was before.

(Nina—I use Chanel No.5 bath oil to make my own personal combinations. I “flavor” unscented products like soap and lotion with small amounts of the bath oil, so the fragrance is greatly diluted. My favorite is to use unscented Dove, and combine with ground oatmeal and a bit of the Chanel bath oil to make new bath bars. Very mildly scented, and a great joy to use.)

Comment from mojo
Time: February 1, 2013, 4:47 pm

100K worth of whale puke?

How much is he giving the dog?

Comment from RushBabe
Time: February 1, 2013, 6:25 pm

I’m a perfumista and I could NEVER limit myself to just one perfume. I have scent for every season and every occasion and the mister loves about 90% of them. (Coco Chanel was an anti-semite and Nazi sympathizer, BTW, so I had to rethink my opinion of her!)

If you thought whale vomit was an odd ingredient in perfume, did you know that musk was discovered during the manufacture of TNT? It’s called nitromusk. It’s the chief ingredient in liquid fabric softeners because it clings to clothes — esp. when wet.

Comment from Pupster
Time: February 1, 2013, 6:37 pm

but he comes home sober every night

Poor bastard. 😆

Protip for the gentlemen, if your significant other asks if you have a perfume you like, always answer ‘no’, unless she is waving it under your nose. If you have knowledge of a scent she has never worn, you are in trouble.

Comment from John A
Time: February 1, 2013, 8:23 pm

He had better check with lawyers, or hope anyone who offers to buy does so. Depending on circumstances, it may be legal to have it but not to sell it.

Comment from Frit
Time: February 1, 2013, 8:36 pm

I dislike perfumes in general. Most people, male and female, seem incapable of wearing a scent without smelling like they bathed in it, soaked their clothing in it, and have a mister spreading it around as they walk. Entering a room that someone has vacated and still being able to smell them is unpleasant. Same for smelling them before they arrive in the room.

For myself, I use soap and water. Usually toiletries that are either strictly herbal/spice scented, (which means you have to actually stick your nose against my skin within minutes of me drying off after a shower to smell it,) or chocolate scented, which is just as subtle and fades fast. Upon rare occasion, I will add about 9 drops of lavender essential oil to a full bottle of witch hazel, and apply a small amount with a spritzer bottle. I have an active dislike for anything stronger on my own hide, or my clothing. (Fortunately for me, Mr. Dragon was willing to switch to an unscented deodorant when he found his former one stank from my perspective. I prefer his natural scent.)

Comment from naleta
Time: February 2, 2013, 4:56 pm

I stopped wearing perfumes and makeup when I started seeing my husband. He reacts violently to one of the ingredients in most scents and makeup is scented. I try to avoid the folks waving free samples of lotions, too. A particularly aggressive salesgirl said “It’s all-natural!” I should have told her “So is poison ivy!”

Comment from Redd
Time: February 2, 2013, 5:50 pm

For a very long time, I wore perfumes. I prefer those with vanilla notes. And while I liked the expensive stuff, my favorite was a cologne which had a blend of vanilla, coffee, & cacao scents. Very popular with men & children who would exclaim: You smell like cookies!


Comment from Oceania
Time: February 2, 2013, 10:00 pm

Dear God – a black left hander


Comment from pst314
Time: February 5, 2013, 6:34 pm

“whale vomit”

Other end, actually.

Comment from pst314
Time: February 5, 2013, 6:37 pm

“I wonder who discovered that whale vomit could be used to make the ladies smell nice? I’ll bet he was French.”

On the other hand English king Charles II’s favorite dish was eggs and ambergris, according to Wikipedia (and Patrick O’Brian).

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