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Famous people, you so weird

So Liz Cheney is running for office. And her sister Mary is a lesbian and gay married Heather last year. And they’re all having a three-way stand-up slap fight about gay marriage.

On Facebook.

So Dick and Lynne Cheney weighed in.

In a statement.

Seriously, in a statement. A statement. How do you release a statement? Is there, like, a Statement Tree you nail this shit to and all the journos gasp and run over?

Dick Cheney, I love you man, but this is so, so fake. Families don’t get into fights on the editorial pages, they get into fights over the Thanksgiving turkey like normal people. They pick up a phone. They send a Hallmark card with a pointed double entendre. This is Liz running for office as a Republican, when she is on the record saying tolerant things about gay marriage in the past. Pure theater for public consumption.

I hate political theater. I hate dynasties. I hate that the ruling class thinks I’m this dumb.


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: November 19, 2013, 11:57 pm

One Free Term Amendment:

You can be elected to one term in any federal office. As soon as you win a second term in any office (does not have to be consecutive or the same office) you are on the list & the instant that term ends, whether by resignation, impeachment, or the term being completed, or any other reason, we cut your head off & put it in a pretty, gold-foil-lined box on the National Mall.

Even if you are, though no action of your own, elected, & even if you choose to not serve, your head will be confiscated & placed in a pretty, gold-foil-lined box on the National Mall.

Comment from dissent555
Time: November 20, 2013, 1:19 am

Thanksgiving is gonna be awesome at the Cheney’s this year.

Comment from feynmangroupie
Time: November 20, 2013, 1:24 am

Nah, then they would require even more upkeep and security. I say they should be forced to serve an equal amount of time in the shittiest of shitty jobs.

Road-kill clean-up, porta-potty cleaner, ghey pron fluffer, cow-eye vat stirrer, receptionist for a lawyer. Stuff that will make them think long and hard about the value of getting re-elected.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: November 20, 2013, 1:47 am

I hate that the ruling class thinks I’m this dumb.

I hate that there’s a ruling class. The rest is secondary.

As one of my heroes, Henry Louis Mencken, once noted:

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: November 20, 2013, 2:03 am

Relatives of high elected officials shouldn’t be allowed to run for office…subversion of democracy…especially Hillary Clinton.

Government employees shouldn’t be allowed to vote; conflict of interest and subversion of democracy.

Comment from Skandia Recluse
Time: November 20, 2013, 2:04 am

Parents released a statement because the news media asked for one (Probably) Don’t (necessarily ) blame Lynne and Dick.

Media pot stirrer (probably) called for parents reaction to the news the media pot stirrer was going to print after hearing about the gossip on Facebook.

Comment from Armybrat
Time: November 20, 2013, 2:13 am

Uncle Al is my hero

Comment from feynmangroupie
Time: November 20, 2013, 3:19 am

Uncle Al,

I have so much spit on my hands that it’s lithified.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: November 20, 2013, 5:48 am

There’s a certain level of fame at which your private life becomes public.

Comment from Pupster
Time: November 20, 2013, 1:04 pm

I hate that gay marriage is even a front page issue.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: November 20, 2013, 4:26 pm

See, they’re not accusing you of being stupid, but they do think most of America is stupid.
The saddest part, as we’ve seen with Obama being reelected after possibly the worst first term ever, is that they’re correct to have a low opinion of the voting populace.

As for the rest, who you gonna vote for? A Democrat?

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: November 20, 2013, 7:15 pm

Even when voters stay home (1992, 2012, etc), the GOP doesn’t give a shit.

McCain still has his “job”. His pension won’t go away, either. ObamaCare has precisely zero effect on his life, so why should he care if it’s repealed?

Certainly the poor bastards who ran & didn’t get elected becasue GOP voters stayed home are SOL, but they’re just sore losers who should have let someone more qualified run, right?

There even seems to be a certain strain in the loyal opposition party that would prefer to have the Dems in power, since that makes fundraising easier.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: November 20, 2013, 8:31 pm

McCain was reelected by the voters in his state, not the GOP. He still has his job because voters WANTED him to have his job. Its not the fault of the party, its our fault as voters. In a Democracy you cannot point the finger of blame at anyone but a mirror for who you end up with in power.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: November 20, 2013, 10:08 pm

McCain was reelected by the voters in his state, not the GOP.

Charlie Crist.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: November 20, 2013, 11:57 pm

Thank you, Armybrat!
What a nice thing to read. Is Mencken a hero of yours as well? Here’s another favorite goodie from the Sage of Baltimore:

The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office. Their principal device to that end is to search out groups who pant and pine for something they can’t get and to promise to give it to them. Nine times out of ten that promise is worth nothing. The tenth time is made good by looting A to satisfy B. In other words, government is a broker in pillage, and every election is sort of an advance auction sale of stolen goods.

He wrote that in 1919. A lot has changed since then, but as for govt the world over, plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: November 21, 2013, 1:33 am

QuasiModo: Relatives of high elected officials shouldn’t be allowed to run for office…


Seriously, roughly half the political vermin in Illinois are hereditary. Some are into their fifth generation.

Of course, being me, I had to look for the counter-example: Alf and Bob Taylor, brothers who ran against each other for Governor of Tennessee in 1886. (Bob, the Democrat, won. Alf also won a term as Governor in 1920.) BTW, they were both noted fiddle players, and followed campaign debates with a joint concert.

And “relative” shouldn’t be defined too broadly. Otherwise the Machine can block anyone they want by electing his dufus second cousin-in-law to something.

In fact I’d limit the exclusion to the same office.

But also: max two terms (three if two years or less). No appointee to an office can ever run for it.


No holder of an office can run for a different office till a year after his current term expires.

Maximum of 16 years in offices; maximum of 8 years in executive offices (except President and Vice President aren’t restricted).

No legislature may meet for more than 6 months in any year.

The overall result? No dynasties and no full-time career politicians.

Comment from JC
Time: November 22, 2013, 3:44 am

“A man promising to rob Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.” Words may not be exact, but HLM.

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