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Happy MILK day!

Oh, man, I love a glass of sweet, cold whole milk. It’s those milk-drinking Viking genes.

This is one of my happiest indulgences. All of the major supermarkets carry a premium brand of Jersey or Guernsey whole milk. Channel Island milk, as I’m sure you know, has more of everything that makes milk awesome. It’s golden yellow with butterfat!

Butterfat. God, that word.

It’s the breed of cow, so they say, rather than the conditions that makes Jersey or Guernsey milk, but I like the idea mine comes from little storm-lashed islands off the coast.

When I was a lass, our family cow was a Jersey, and she gave fine, sweet milk. We usually let her go dry after her calves weaned, but when we did milk her, it was awkward to talk about it:
her name was Mother.


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: January 21, 2014, 12:46 am

That cow is sayin’, “Check out my fat, white cock, guys.”

Comment from Paula Douglas
Time: January 21, 2014, 1:56 am

It’s derivative, but something like “Elsie” might have made you feel better about the milking process.

Comment from EZnSF
Time: January 21, 2014, 2:21 am

I’m pissed they recently stopped carrying Kerrygold butter at my market.

Comment from JeffS
Time: January 21, 2014, 2:29 am

Milking Mother for all she’s worth is certainly not without precedent, Sweasel.


Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: January 21, 2014, 3:10 am

Hmmm REAL MILK with the cream. Sounds SOOOO good. Here it is hard to find milk that hasn’t has the cream pulled out so that they can sell it to you separately. Milk was delicious when I was kid; now not so much.

Once, just once, I had milk from a small dairy that sold whole milk in small glass bottles – milk below, cream on top. However what made it so wonderful was that the neck of the bottle had a small plug of real butter just under the cardboard pull-out cap. THAT was amazing.

Comment from Nina
Time: January 21, 2014, 4:00 am

I drank milk as a kid, but don’t these days except to pour over my Corn Flakes. No idea why I stopped, one day I realized I hadn’t drunk any in so long I couldn’t remember when I had.

Well…mostly. Last summer some supposedly good buds of mine offered me an innocuous-looking chili appetizer that turned out to be anything but innocuous. It about killed me, but they were kind enough to offer some milk to ease the pain, once the picked themselves from the floor from laughing so hard.


They were really proud of me afterwards, though. Never trust two guys who offer you something and say that it’s not that hot. They lie.

Thank God for milk, cheap nutrition for the masses of we Northern Europeans born with the lactose tolerance mutation.

Glug glug glug

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: January 21, 2014, 12:40 pm

The Kwik Trip chain here in WI sells moo juice in half gallon bags for about $1.25. Milk is our drink of drinks here in WI. Even more than beer.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 21, 2014, 2:01 pm

I’m with Nina – stopped drinking cow juice when I was a young teenager. Hate the stuff now. Except in porridge – now that’s different (even if I don’t know why).

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: January 21, 2014, 2:41 pm

LOVE MILK! Drink it w/ damned near everything. Went into a pizza joint after last call ½ popped. Ordered a pizza w/ milk. Waitress still had to get all her drinks from the bar. Overheard the bartender “whispering” to the waitress, “Who’s the asshole ordering milk with pizza?”

Comment from surly ermine
Time: January 21, 2014, 2:45 pm

We have Guernseys. Tastes a bit like melted ice cream. The milk, not the cows. Although the cows are pretty tasty too. A little different flavor than the beef breeds, yellow fat.

Comment from Harry
Time: January 21, 2014, 5:20 pm

@SCOTTtheBADGER–Milk in BAGS??!!? Then how do you…I mean, use pitchers?? Some sort of a dispenser??

Here in Texas, and before that California, Kansas and Virginia, I never heard of such a thing.

Milk in BAGS???

Comment from Harry
Time: January 21, 2014, 5:25 pm

Sweasel–I agree with you about the type of cow…when we lived in Austin TX we got our milk from a small certified dairy, all the cows were Jerseys. The milk was raw, straight from the cow to the cooler to the jugs (supply your own 1 gal jugs)to the table. The ex-would skim the cream and make butter in her Kitchen-Aid mixer; REAL good eatin’ and drinkin’.

Then the farmer’s wife developed breast cancer and they sold out…sad ending.

Comment from ed
Time: January 21, 2014, 5:27 pm

Could be worse. The cow’s name could have been “father” or “dad”.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: January 21, 2014, 6:22 pm

Hate to tell you, Harry, but cows keep their milk in bags, too.

Comment from Davem123
Time: January 21, 2014, 8:04 pm

I used to drink milk, then I married. My wife’s family drank skim milk due to a health condition of a family member. That’s still all she buys. Nasty, Nasty, Nasty.

Water with a bit of chalk for coloration.

Comment from mojo
Time: January 21, 2014, 8:33 pm

“What happened to you?”
“Oh, Mother kicked me in the face again.”

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 21, 2014, 8:52 pm

Harry – they sell milk in bags here, too. I suppose people have big jugs in the fridge (the first boy who laughs will see me after class!).

Comment from David Gillies
Time: January 21, 2014, 9:57 pm

When I was a kid we used to get one bottle of gold top Jersey milk on the doorstep every day along with the normal silver top. My sister and I would have the cream off the top in strict rotation. Now, for some reason, the only fresh milk available in my supermarket is 2% semi-skim. I’ve taken to fortifying it with whipping cream. When I’m back in the UK I savour real 4.6% whole milk.

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: January 21, 2014, 10:34 pm

HATED milk and ice cream as a kid and for most of my life….cloying mucus . Then I discovered Raw whole milk as an adult and now I can go through 2 gal a week.

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: January 22, 2014, 2:02 am

Harry: Kwik Trip gives out holders for the bags, it’s basically a pitcher with the same oval shape, as seen from above, as the bag has. They are quite sturdy, and are also good for making Kool Aid, or Iced Tea in. I have one that I have had for over a decade, it’s good 1/8 inch plastic, and works pretty slick. I just made some corned beef hash, and washed it down with Kiwk Trip chocolate milk in a bag. That is a good meal on a cold January night. I’s – 4, on the way to -19 tonight, so cold that the snow that is falling is “crunch snow” a dry, almost talc like snow, that sounds like you are walking on Fritos when you walk on it. Since it is powdery, when there is any wind, it gets in everywhere! We got crunch snow last week, when it got down to -20, and even though I had my carpenters jeans cuffs down over my Sorells, it still blew snow up my trouser legs. Winter really does make you feel alive, with the dense, O2 filled air, but I will be happy when Spring comes.

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