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Welp, here we go

So, first hat in the ring, and it’s a sombrero. Bad-dum-tssss.

I like Ted Cruz. I really do. I think. From what I know. But I just cannot deal with his face. It just ain’t right.

And if you think that’s incredibly shallow and foolish of me, just think how not shallow and foolish I am compared to huge swathes of America.

Facial hair. It’s the only answer.

Yeah, I know I’ve posted this before. I realized that. What I didn’t realize was that I’d used the exact same starting photo. This isn’t a repost. I’ve done the same stupid Photoshop twice.

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from CrabbyOldBat
Time: March 23, 2015, 10:10 pm

SWeasel’s Greatest Hits, track one.

 


Comment from gromulin
Time: March 23, 2015, 10:17 pm

I know what you mean. His face looks like one of those p-shop mash-ups you see on Ace’s sidebar. Can’t put my finger on why.

 


Comment from RealMc
Time: March 23, 2015, 10:29 pm

Add a top hat ;o)

 


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: March 23, 2015, 10:42 pm

#RepealThe19th
#PresidentsWithBeards
#YesAllBeards
#FDPObama

 


Comment from Admiral Painter
Time: March 23, 2015, 11:14 pm

This business is going to get out of control, and we will be lucky to live through it.

 


Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: March 23, 2015, 11:50 pm

i got nothin

 


Comment from mojo
Time: March 23, 2015, 11:52 pm

No. No beard. Are you insane?

Karl Marx had a beard. Fidel had a beard. ee cummings had a beard.

No. Beards. It’s like a law or something.

 


Comment from OldFert
Time: March 24, 2015, 12:00 am

Mojo — Yes, beards have bad connotations. As George Carlin said: “Rasputin had a beard. Castro has a beard. Gabby Hayes has whiskers.”

 


Comment from Paula Douglas
Time: March 24, 2015, 1:04 am

Facial hair is evil. Next question.

While I’d hate to lose Cruz as my senator, it would be worth it to get someone with principles into the White House. I wonder what that would be like?

 


Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: March 24, 2015, 1:10 am

If he’s going to beard, he needs some more lessons.
BTW, Stoaty, I think I won the Dead pool. I swear it was just good old fashioned sniping. We only get news from the PRC 12 hours before all the other Westerners.
I have to say this one seemed to go on forever.

 


Comment from Nina
Time: March 24, 2015, 4:21 am

I’m laughing out loud about the sombrero, the beard, and the duplicated effort.

Very loud. 😜

 


Comment from catnip
Time: March 24, 2015, 4:48 am

I think the beard and moustache improve his appearance considerably. However, both need to be more trim. They do give him the look of a South American dictator. I like him, and only hope he fully understands what he’s getting into.

 


Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: March 24, 2015, 7:45 am

Last-year’s end result was measurably better, in a number of ways – back then, you made him rawther distingue, in a manner of speakin’…

This year’s effort – well – frankly, he kinda comes off like Fee-del’s younger-an’-sorta-less-trustworthy cousin, IYKWIMAITYD – like: “Ain’t no seegar nor purty wimmins safe ‘roun’ heah, y’all!”

Full-face or even three-quarters like that, he tends to have a slightly…unfortunate…shape to his chin versus his cheeks. Properly-shapely facial hair helps quite a bit. Jus’ sayin’…

All of which is pretty superficial, in the end – this is the guy we really, really need (or someone very much like ‘im)…which is why, I really wish him well, but am much afraid we will not see him as POTUS – at least, not in 2016.

Hope I’m wrong on that last, there.

 


Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: March 24, 2015, 4:27 pm

I think that beard is too extensive, a closely trimmed one would work, but he would be MUCH better off with a beard, I agree.

Fun fact: Hillary Clinton is old enough to be Ted Cruz’ grandmother.

Other fun fact: Every single president who was elected from the Senate died in office… except for President Obama, who just has been horrible in the job.

 


Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: March 24, 2015, 4:49 pm

Presidents had beards back in the 19th Century: Lincoln and Grant come to mind. In fact Cruz looks a little Grant-ish. Garfield might have been the last (sez I, without looking it up); I’m pretty sure everybody since McKinley, and maybe him too, has been clean-shaven or had no more than a mustache.

 


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: March 24, 2015, 4:49 pm

Other fun fact: Every single president who was elected from the Senate died in office

Sadly, not all historic firsts are good historic firsts.

 


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: March 24, 2015, 4:53 pm

I’m pretty sure everybody since McKinley, and maybe him too, has been clean-shaven or had no more than a mustache.

Taft was the last one with any facial hair.

 


Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: March 24, 2015, 4:56 pm

Okay, I did look it up: http://koti.kapsi.fi/~jflurrie/Cards/040313_scans/uspres.png Lincoln, Grant, Hayes, Garfield, and Harrison were beardoes; Arthur, Cleveland (x 2), Teddy R., and Taft had mustaches.

 


Comment from mojo
Time: March 24, 2015, 6:04 pm

Hello? Evil Spock?

No beard. Sideburns, maybe, or a dignified moustache. I’d go that far.

 


Comment from Brother Cavil
Time: March 24, 2015, 6:29 pm

I thought about it, and I realized what the issue with his face is.

He has trollface.

He has. An honest. To God. Trollface.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 24, 2015, 8:06 pm

Nice attempted sneak, Bob, but you’d chosen Ginger Baker earlier in the thread. First pick sticks.

 


Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: March 24, 2015, 11:16 pm

Ginger Baker kind of deserves to die but he’s clinging in there. Brilliant, amazing musician and talent but… horrible person. Just horrible.

 


Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: March 25, 2015, 4:12 am

I thought I gave up on Ginger! This really is a long deadpool!

 


Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: March 25, 2015, 4:24 am

Well now, I did pick Ginger on day one! Black chickens and conceited drummers, I’m really getting dotty!

 


Comment from mojo
Time: March 25, 2015, 4:59 am

And Levon died poor. There ain’t no justice.

 


Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: March 25, 2015, 6:33 am

Until John Frémont in 1856, no presidential candidate had a beard. From Frémont through Benjamin Harrison, every Republican candidate had a beard, but no Democrat ever did (except Winfield Hancock).

Lincoln is a little ambiguous, as he only grew his beard after being advised to do so by 11-year-old Grace Bedell in October 1860; it’s not clear when he stopped shaving his chin. He definitely had the beard by February 1861, when he stopped in to visit Miss Bedell on his way to Washington.

 


Comment from tibby
Time: March 26, 2015, 2:41 pm

He looks like one of Santas elves.

 


Comment from AltBBrown
Time: March 26, 2015, 8:49 pm

I’d hate to see ya lose Ted, Paula, but Keeeeriiiist we need someone with principles and a lick o’ common sense with a tad of logic. This last election meant absolutely nothing to the maroons in congress. Nothing.

 

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