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A smut too far

g'bye McGoo

Goodbye, McGoo! I mean, not literally. I’m sure the ‘sphere’ll have McGoo to kick around for quite some time, but it looks like Aardvarks and Asshats has joined the choir eternal. I reckon it was all them fake titties and Photoshopped butts wot did it, McGoo. Naughty, naughty McGoo. You boys’ll have to go elsewhere for your smut dose anymore. [UPDATE: looks like it’s working again. I know McGoo had an email in to them. Perhaps they had mercy.]

ferrets for obama

Damn it. Now I’ll have to edit my blogroll. And y’all know what a drama queen I am about editing my blogroll. Hey, while I’m in there — anybody want on or off, let me know. Drop me a note or post a comment in this thread and I’ll do that thing (specify moron, weasel or other). Fair warning: if I link your blog, I’ll read it and make inappropriate remarks on it. On the other hand, my blog gets…oh, hundreds of hits, some days.

The Glorious Lemur King sent me this lil’ feller on the left. I believe LK questions the political acumen of this mustelid — but, really, who seeks voting advice from a weasel? Nobody, that’s who. “Shiny stuff: delightful or thrilling?” or “Rat pie: too rich for every day?” maybe. Voting advice, not so much.

black footed ferret

I’m far more disturbed by this little BFF, linked by JuliaM. Black-footed ferret — the only species of wild ferret left, and hella endangered. In fact, they were believed to be extinct at one point, until the Smithsonian found a stash of them. (Is there anything the Smithsonian hasn’t got a stash of?)

So “yay” for the tiny weasel, I guess. Only…this adorable fuzzball was hatched out of ten year old frozen ferret sperm. Oh. Ohhhhhhh.

Frozen.

Ferret.

Sperm.

That is so very, very wrong. And it raises so many, many questions. I’d say more, but I don’t want my blog to get McGoo’d.

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from Buffoon
Time: October 23, 2008, 9:16 am

DAMN YOU for linking to boobage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye morning!!!!

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 9:26 am

i just clicked and it’s there.

what gives?

 


Comment from Jill
Time: October 23, 2008, 9:46 am

I think they’re just trying to find out if we’re paying attention.

And, I wonder what sort of porn BFF are into…you know, sperm bank procedures and all that…

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 23, 2008, 9:49 am

You’re right, apotheosis! It’s back! I know McGoo had an email in to them, so maybe they had mercy.

 


Comment from lizardbrain
Time: October 23, 2008, 10:17 am

Well, as long as you’re muckin’ abaht in there…

I’ve always considered myself a moron, but I’m not sure I meet the standards. I’ll leave it up to you.

(Stoopid Wal*Mart keyboard is making this harder than it should be. I like watching the grandkids, but I miss my computer. Of course, if I were doing the job properly, I wouldn’t have time for visiting Weasels on the innernuts.)

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 10:19 am

Sorry – I was out in the rain watching them pour the gravel (chat?) for my driveway. rain is ….wet. Later I’m gonna catch my death of pizza.

Yes – A&A was revived. The dude over at WP (Automattic) said it was a mistake caused by their auto-linkage detector. Seems it did not like “sexykittenporn.com” in one of my posts.

Thanks for the dedicated post, Weasel!!! I’m honored!

Where in the fiddly-fuck did they get weasel sperm – and, er, how?

No – I do not want to know.

{Whoa – I expected akismet to belch on that link too. Humph?}

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 10:24 am

Yesterday everyone said patterico’s place was down and I clicked and went right to that without a problem, too.

…i think i have powers. :O

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 10:26 am

Oh and Lemur King, you are a baaaad bad man for posting those FarCry2 screens. Because now I want that, and I don’t have time to want that.

 


Comment from Liberty Girl
Time: October 23, 2008, 10:30 am

After your kind words regarding my little blatherings the other day, I went and changed my URL. So, just in case you missed it: http://libertygirl.org

YES IT IS IMPORTANT TO ME TO BE LINKED BY TEH STOAT, STFU.

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 10:42 am

I can’t go to Little Miss Attilla’s site anymore, I mean it’s still there…but the eyes in the masthead art, they keep following me.

 


Comment from Mike
Time: October 23, 2008, 11:00 am

Seeking voting advice from weasels? Hell, half the blighted country’s all excited about actually electing one.

 


Comment from Mike
Time: October 23, 2008, 11:04 am

Oh, and…humble apologies for the implied insult to all decent, honest mustelids.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 23, 2008, 11:09 am

Not to worry, Mike. Whoever you vote for, you ALWAYS get a weasel. Hooray for Democracy!

 


Comment from XBradTC
Time: October 23, 2008, 11:24 am

Well, since you asked, why yes, I would love to be blogrolled by a Weasel. I’m proud to claim the title “Moron.”

http://xbradtc.wordpress.com/

And I love your watch.

 


Comment from Mike
Time: October 23, 2008, 11:47 am

Ain’t it the lamentable truth.

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 11:49 am

I read Whoever you vote for, you ALWAYS get a weasel and for just an instant I had this mental image of them handing out weasels at the voting station instead of “I Voted” stickers.

“Thank you for participating in the democratic process, here’s your mammal.”

“This is a hamster.”

“Yeah, we ran out of weasels about an hour ago.”

“DISENFRANCHISEMENT!”

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 11:58 am

LOL, apo!

I always stick that li’l “I voted” sticker on my pickup dashboard over the radio. I just imaged my difficulties in gluing a stoat on there.

 


Comment from Jill
Time: October 23, 2008, 12:08 pm

I haven’t missed an election since I was 18 and I never got no DAMN STICKER.

Or a small furry mammal, neither.

🙁

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 12:10 pm

Heh…headlines from that same hypothetical world:

Local ACORN Office Overrun by Millions of Weasels
“It’s a mystery,” says Obama spokesperson

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 23, 2008, 12:11 pm

One of those “I Voted” stickers landed on the pavement in the employee parking lot after the primaries. I walked past it every day, watching it slowly fade away.

I’m pretty sure that’s a metaphor for something, but fuck it.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 12:15 pm

“The sticker of voting has to be refreshed from time to time with the ink of printers”?

“I regret that I have but one “I voted” sticker to hurl to the ground.”

“Watch not what your sicker can do on the dashboard – watch what it’ll do on the ground!”

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 23, 2008, 12:49 pm

Oh, man, did you see this found footage of London, 1904? Man, I want to see the whole thing!

This goes right up there with that street car ride down Market Street in San Francisco before the earthquake. Prelinger archive is totally constipated today, so I can’t find it, but it’s…spooky.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: October 23, 2008, 12:56 pm

If god didn’t want us to freeze ferret sperm, he’d never have allowed the inventors Edgar Frigidaire and Gustaf Kitchenmaid survive to puberty.

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 1:06 pm

I’d like a bowler hat and great big muttonchop sideburns. I’m thinking they’ll be fashionable again in the near future and I do love being ahead of the curve.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 23, 2008, 1:32 pm

Yep, I’d like great big muttonchops like that, too. I’m really looking forward to menopause.

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 1:35 pm

The great thing about muttonchops is you can smoke a big fat meerschaum pipe and say “harrumph” a lot, and people are totally okay with it.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 1:44 pm

apo – I wear a full beard and used to smoke, and believe me, its one of life’s real pleasures to harrumph! importantly in social situations. I certainly wouldn’t trade it for a “I voted” sticker.

Now I don’t smoke, so I have simply mastered looking glinty-eyed fearsome like Major ___ de Coverly. I can make a 4-year old kid crap his drawers at 50 yards with a single glance.

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: October 23, 2008, 2:05 pm

Awww…I’m really liking that ferret puppy.

Seems it did not like “sexykittenporn.com” in one of my posts.

And apparently the dudes who unclogged you, did.

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 2:07 pm

I’d like to refine that steely look.

I’d have to stop shaving my head, maybe just go with that fringe of hair around the sides look. I’m figuring a full beard, muttonchops and pipe. Perhaps take a name like Lord Throckmorton Basingbottom III.

Cane or riding crop? I’m thinking cane. Mahogany. Just the thing for giving rapscallions a good thrashing.

 


Comment from Nicole
Time: October 23, 2008, 2:09 pm

Love the idea of passing out weasels for voting. Made me LOL for real. 🙂

 


Comment from Jill
Time: October 23, 2008, 2:27 pm

Posting from the DSB’s abode…

Ever see this, McGoo?

http://www.livenudecats.com/

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: October 23, 2008, 2:35 pm

I smoke a pipe and cigars, cut my [remaining] hair within an inch of its miserable life, and have a face that scowls in natural repose.

Every DMV photo ever taken of me looks like I might be wearing a butcher’s leather apron, and some have sworn out affidavits that my driver’s license evokes the guttural rumbling sound of an unchoked chainsaw.

I’ll spot you that 50 yards, Steam. And 100 more.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 23, 2008, 2:41 pm

Holy SHIT this is well done. Oh, man. Almost completely seamless.

We live in marvelous days, my friends.

Oh, hang on, there’s an embed option:


Unbelievable McCain Vs. Obama Dance-Off – Watch more free videos

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 2:47 pm

Jill – I was literally guffawing!, not just sayin’ “LOL”.

“Perhaps take a name like Lord Throckmorton Basingbottom III.”

Badger’s full (given) (by me) (presumptuously) name is:

Lord Groinmaster Dique De Bologna Grande Badgerbugger VIII, Last Duke of Stoatfinger (by marriage), Secret Bearer of the Ermine Seal of Royals, KRS, MP- House of Lords, FRS, MRS, PhD, member in good standing – Royal Puttiers & Glasiers Local 1408, and all-around Nice Guy

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 2:51 pm

Shame on you, Jill.

Posting kitty porn. 🙁

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 2:54 pm

Stoaty – that’s what I was talkin’ ’bout the other day! You’re name should be on that. That’s the kind of stuff you can create when you get to the Badger Estate!

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 2:56 pm

Sufferin’ succotash, I’ve been thoroughly out-named. I was working on something like “Exchequer of Chutney-on-the-Marmalade” but I see I’m gonna have to step up my game a bit.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 2:57 pm

It’s those stogies, jw. They extend the range of a well-aimed fearsome face 50-60%. Further if you’re upwind.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 23, 2008, 2:59 pm

Somebody put a lot of hard work into that one, McGoo. The hardest part would be finding headshots from file footage that are a good match to your dancers. And, of course, they had to find and film the dancers.

There were a few nits I could pick. The Obama was strongest — really eerily good — and the Palin was weakest. McCain’s head position got away from him a couple of times. But I’ve watched that through five times and it really was excellent work.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 2:59 pm

Thats excellent, apo! I have always loved the word chutney. I don’t know why.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 3:01 pm

Stoaty – You are the expert; I wouldn’t know what it takes. But I know for fact that you routinely drive three monitors so it will be a piece of cake for you – I just know it.

Strongest to weakest? I think the creative designer of the thing got tired towards the end.

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 3:03 pm

There were a few nits I could pick. The Obama was strongest — really eerily good — and the Palin was weakest.

Some of the mouth movements had a distinctly “Clutch Cargo” look to them, too. Which is always good for a nightmare.

But I forwarded it to my sister the dance teacher anyway, because that whole vid is a 24-piece bucket of extra crispy awesome.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: October 23, 2008, 3:25 pm

True, Steam… I had not accounted for the stogification effect in my calculations. I adjust my spotting to 50 yards, and 47.3 more.

Weez: that video is superb. I agree with apo: a 24-piece bucket of extra crispy awesome, with slaw and corn-on-the-cob-on-a-stick.

 


Comment from iamfelix
Time: October 23, 2008, 4:05 pm

I loved Jill’s “Live Nude Cats” so much that I had to link this.

Can’t see the dancing candidates, tho. 🙁 Blasted innernet nanny ….

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 4:16 pm

SHOCK: McCAIN VOLUNTEER ATTACKED AND MUTILATED IN PITTSBURGH

I hate this election cycle so much.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 4:32 pm

Apo – this election cycle is so unbelievable, I don’t know how to describe it.

The rabid Left is so out there – so psychotic – that it seems they have just tossed away any semblance of rationality, if they ever had any.

I mean they’re spouting stuff like “truth and facts are a fallacy” and “lying is ok because it fits a larger narrative”, and ” *pick a word – any word* is just an old codeword for racist”, etc, etc.

The MSM is totally ignoring massive instances of factual violations of criminal law by a presidential candidate without batting an eyelash, flat-out lying in print and in the broadcast media, and make no bones about being “part of the process” now.

I have never – never! – seen anything like this since I studied the early Nazi behavior in Germany.

It isn’t just the “big lie” now – it’s the hyper-lie. The Uber-lie.

And on top of it all, I’m gonna vote for a guy I normally wouldn’t give the time of day, would cross the street to avoid, and in whose statements and policies I have no faith.

This … sucks.

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 4:40 pm

What really sucks is that on one hand, you can stand back and look at what you perceive as “the big picture” and come to realize how carefully the groundwork for all this has been laid, for how long, and marvel at the sheer audacity of it at the same time you’re wondering how to combat such Machiavellian bullshit.

On the other hand, you still wonder if doing so puts you in the same basket as the conspiracy theorist nutjobs, and whether you’re reading too much into it.

On one hand…sooooo many coincidences. So many pieces fit so perfectly, if you turn them just so.

On the other hand…well, yeah, but the wackos said the same thing about 9/11 and I dunno about you, but I took great delight in seeing their little theories demolished.

On the gripping hand…we are SO screwed.

 


Comment from Muslihoon
Time: October 23, 2008, 4:45 pm

Many otherwise politically indifferent people are beginning to be affected by the nutroots.

The Kossacks issued an APB on the Latter-day Saints in California – search them, harrass them, dig up dirt on them – for supporting Proposition 8.

We are not amused.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: October 23, 2008, 4:58 pm

What Steam said. Exactly.

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: October 23, 2008, 5:08 pm

“on the gripping hand”

Sweet motie reference there Apotheosis. 🙂

HOLY CRAP!! I actually posted this from work and no spam bucket!! I’m FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 5:11 pm

“…you still wonder if doing so puts you in the same basket as the conspiracy theorist nutjobs,…”

Exactly. The Leftards have claimed that W stole the election (arguably, two elections). He didn’t. But it truly seems that they are systematically – with the cooperation of the entire MSM – doing so now.

Then I get the feeling that the Obama polls are ALL stretched and he isn’t going to win at all. And they (notice the “they”?) know it and are desperately pulling out the stops (especially the integrity/moral/ethical/professional/legal ones) to get him elected by subterfuge and by causing the (R)s to give up and not vote. or whatever.

I am really not liking this right now. The only bright side is that if the Dems get what they want, they’ll richly deserve the inevitable result.

I’m gonna go eat Chinese with my aunt now and cry in my imaginary beer.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 5:13 pm

Hi, Enas!

Yeah – I caught that Niven/Pournelle ref too. Apt!

I’m reading Niven/Lerner’s new one – “Juggler of Worlds” – now.

 


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: October 23, 2008, 5:39 pm

That was pretty impressive, Weas. The Sarah Palin body double didn’t have her figure, though. Also, it would have been better if the McCain guy had tried to actually move like McCain – I really don’t think he could manage that bit on the ground with the elbows…

I think the polls are all cooked and Obama is going to lose. Unless the voter fraud is significant enough. Why the hell is voter fraud a partisan issue?!?

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 5:50 pm

What Mrs. Peel said. Polls are cooked.

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: October 23, 2008, 6:05 pm

Polls are cooked

Today on Rachel Ray we find out some new ways you can cook your polls! First you add some Eee Vee Oh Oh to the skillet…

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 6:06 pm

First you add some Eee Vee Oh Oh to the skillet…

Extra Violent Obama Orwellianism?

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: October 23, 2008, 6:16 pm

I’ve found lightly braising polls in butter and minced chives superior to simply cooking or pan-frying them.

And like liver, they taste delightful when served with fava beans and a nice chianti.

 


Comment from nicole
Time: October 23, 2008, 6:35 pm

Yeah, I trying to not fall into the hyperventilating side of the universe simply because it is how the left has worked for the last 8 years. My husband is one of those skeptic people so he is annoyingly logical about it all. When I bring up all this stuff and say that it is worrying me extremely, he does his best to tell me how it is all logically impossible for it to be that bad.

I really don’t want to be the nutroots. I know they all feel/felt that they are/were just as right and just as justified as I feel I would be at this point saying things like “socialism is coming, election is being stolen, etc.” But damn…if I ignore a preponderance of evidence, then I’m still like the nutroots. Sigh. I want this all to be over.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: October 23, 2008, 6:39 pm

In the words of the great philosopher: “Oh fuck it! Who wants pie?!”

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: October 23, 2008, 8:01 pm

Coming from a country that has already been fucked over by the Left and the MSM, I hesitate to say anything at all.

Except that McGoo got to 100% right earlier.

Welcome to the Nu World, comrades.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 23, 2008, 8:05 pm

Nicole! Nicole has a URL associated with her name! (I try to notice these things, honest).

Nice looking site, Nicole. And…one, two…three posts! Want link? They’re on special today!

(Some people actually don’t want link. You have to ask).

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 8:17 pm

Aww, Badger! You’re nice!

It’s ’cause I named you member in good standing – Royal Puttiers & Glasiers Local 1408, isn’t it?

 


Comment from nicole
Time: October 23, 2008, 8:21 pm

Oh, good lord. I’d love a link, sure. Put the pressure on me to actually write. 😛

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 23, 2008, 8:26 pm

Okey doke. I put you in the moronosphere, because you had an Ace link. Let me know if that’s not accurate (I think of the moronosphere as people who read Ace for a while and suddenly thought to themselves, “damn it! *I* could do that!).

McGoo, Badger is just all smug because he talked to the vicar this morning and he didn’t get hit by lightening. Me, I advise him to hire a boy to pick up his mail in the morning. I gather boys’re going cheap lately…

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 8:34 pm

Why in Circe’s name would Badger talk to a *shudder* shaman?
Oh. Oh! That’s right…you’re getting hitched. Sorry.

*And that’s lightning, Weaz! Gently am I avenged for all those corrections you were throwing at me a week ago over at my place.

…And – yes – boys are going cheap in the present market. Why, I just got three of ’em to moon WordPress this morning for a mere pittance.

Nicole – I’d offer to blogroll you too, but I’m a reformed porn purveyor. No, no, don’t thank me. You’re welcome.

 


Comment from nicole
Time: October 23, 2008, 9:12 pm

I don’t know if I am in the actual Moronosphere or not. I read Ace, but I’m not in the ecosystem or on mu.nu or anything. Thanks for the link. 🙂

McGoo, you and I are actually in the same state, which gives me pause from time to time… And I read your site *for* the smut, it was the highlight of blog sharing time in my house. 😛 I knew the link to the initial image was safe, at the very least. 🙂

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: October 23, 2008, 9:23 pm

I just wrote you a reasoned response, McGoo, as befits your well-justified puzzlement – explaining how, on the whole, I’d far rather have opted for the blessing of Circe….

And then those useless shits at Firefox and Google managed, between them, to destroy my comment.

Anyway. The fact is, in this benighted realm, you either Do That Legal Thing in a church or, where we are, take your pick from the town hall or one of the two local hotels that are licensed places of execution.

Cue her Ladyship’s hilarity at why I hate the thought of the town hall.

As for the hotels (actually, as for the town hall, too) the nearest town to Badger House is graced, every Saturday, by throngs of raddled young women in badly-fitting frocks and impossible shoes, escorted by rat-faced young men who, the last time they wore a suit, were addressed as ‘the accused’.

For some reason, they seem to think ‘it’ll be a larf’ to ‘get hitched’ in an old town.

Call me an old snob, call me pretentious, but if Circe isn’t in business locally, I want the solemnisation of the mustelid union to be a little more dignified, a lot more more private and more… rooted in the earth, than that.

Having said which… if baby Jesus starts to raise his ugly head, said vicar and I might yet end-up rolling around the floor, with me finally losing my ability to remain silent about identikit Middle Eastern death cults, sky fairies, oh… you get the idea, I’m sure.

So far, so good. We’ll see how we get on when badger and vicar meet again, face-to-face for round two, next week.

For ringside (!) seats dial 1800…..

No ‘dancing’ – guaranteed.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 23, 2008, 9:49 pm

Whoa. Badger – I am really sympathetic. But I am learning about “limited options” in tiny towns myself. Living out in the countryside is really great – except its so damned far from conveniences.

Thanks for cluing me in on the strange and exotic customs of the Empire, or the marriage laws parts of it, anyway. I … well … I didn’t have a clue. Yes. It’s a gift I have.

But I’m relieved. For a split instant I feared you went to him for, er, um, …. y’know….sp…spi…spiritu…that comfort thing they do … or sumpin.

The way I figure it, you must truly think the world of our li’l home-grown mustalid to go through this.

Says something about our host it does. But I believe someone else here mentioned that very thing the other day.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: October 23, 2008, 9:58 pm

It’s true, McGoo.. Circe bless her vicious little fangs 😉

 


Comment from Muslihoon
Time: October 23, 2008, 10:14 pm

Oh, it’s obvious you two are crazy about each other.

Very heartening for those of us who wonder whether love exists.

 


Comment from apotheosis
Time: October 23, 2008, 10:40 pm

And even for those of us who know it exists, it’s still just cool to see two people so completely retarded over each other*.

*That’s my little sister’s phrase, and I’m assured it has only positive connotations in this usage.

 


Comment from Gregory the First
Time: October 23, 2008, 10:48 pm

Well, I self-identify as being in the moronosphere, although I doubt I have even one regular reader, but what the hell, you gotta start somewhere, and I’m a link whore anyhows…

http://gregorys-rantsite.blogspot.com

FWIW, I’m not very funny, and I don’t think I cuss all that well either.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 24, 2008, 7:18 am

Heh heh. A very inauspicious beginning, Gregory — I just had to fish you out of the lint trap.

I’ll get you on the roll when I get home. You’ll see. We’ll have you up to two readers in no time.

Sadly for you, one of them will be me.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: October 24, 2008, 8:42 am

I’ll read ‘im too, Stoaty. We Morons have to stick together. So that makes five, Greggie.

 


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