web analytics

Mommy, why are bureaucrats so fucking stupid?


I listened to Rhode Island radio streaming over the internet this evening (man, I love hearing about all those traffic jams I’m not sitting in any more). Midnight tonight, RI is hiking taxes, after which they will have the highest cigarette tax in the country.

Highest cigarette prices in the whole country.

Smallest state in the whole union.

Seriously, drive ten, twenty minutes (tops) in any direction and you’re in a whole ‘nother state. Can you guess what’s going to happen?


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: April 9, 2009, 7:37 pm

Just take out of that graph everything except the base price (which, in itself, includes God knows how much to cover taxation and other legislative scams), retailer and wholesale margins and look at what’s left.

And that, ladies and gentlemong, is a precise summary of the complete bloody mess we are in.

Someone let Count Dracula into the blood bank.

Comment from Phineas
Time: April 9, 2009, 8:40 pm

But they need the money to get all of Rhode Island re-carpeted and if anything is left over change their state motto from “Hope” to “Hope and Change, now give us ALL your money!”
I love all these idiots that believe taxing cigarettes some how makes people stop.
Which is worse?
1. Smoking a cigarette in a closed garage?
2. Starting a car in a closed garage?
Yet it’s cool to belittle smokers as long as they pay their taxes. But more damage is done to ones lungs by non-smokers sitting in traffic.
I hope all of Rhode Island stops buying cigarettes in their state. Just what will be the next taxing craze?
As I live in Kafkafornia…
Let’s tax air…. the more you use the more you pay…so joggers and politicians are at the top if the list.
Next let’s tax water, but only if it comes from the faucet as we already double tax for bottled water.
Lastly, let’s really hike taxes on sunshine. We’ll pass laws demanding people implant GPS chips inside their skins. If one is to go outdoors and the sun is out…$$$$..
just like fastrak on toll roads. Reasoning for the law….easy, just like the reasoning on cigarettes… Look at all the money we spend to make these useable so people don’t die from their effects. Now I know you’re thinking I’m a nutter(my best British), but county boards in L.A. are proposing ideas like these!

Smoke ’em if ya’ got ’em and blame it on the Indians (oops I mean… Native Peoples who’s land was renamed after a white guy long since dead, by white guys long since dead)

Comment from wendyworn
Time: April 9, 2009, 10:14 pm

that is why I quit smoking a month ago. It was my way of sticking it to the man!

Comment from wendyworn
Time: April 9, 2009, 10:15 pm

sorry, forgot to add: BASTARDS!

Comment from Randy Rager
Time: April 9, 2009, 10:40 pm

It’s just a guess from a bitter gun clinging redneck moh-ron here, but Imma go out on a limb and say: RI just created the Mother Of All Cigarette Black Markets.

Gawd, whattabunchadumbasses.

Comment from porknbean
Time: April 10, 2009, 12:14 am

Can you guess what’s going to happen?

They’ll set up road blocks on the state line, and check for contraband.

Can people start planting their own tabaccy gardens?

Comment from Roman Wolf
Time: April 10, 2009, 1:19 am

I’d say these politicians don’t have brains but that would be an insult to the Scarecrow.

Boy, us westerners sure do love making bigger and better Black Markets, don’t we?

Comment from Blue Octopi
Time: April 10, 2009, 1:35 am

“RI just created the Mother Of All Cigarette Black Markets.”

Yup. I was a smoker when I lived in Canada in the 90s, and the government did something equally stupid with taxes (hard to notice at first, given how ridiculous taxes up there are already). Pretty soon, the local native tribes had a sweet racket going with their tax-free smokes and smuggled cartons from the US. Things got a little weird when the Mounties started having boat chases and gun battles on the rivers, with the Indians riding those awesome racing (cigarette?) boats. It was like Miami Vice, but cold, and with flannel instead of pastels.

Seems our betters in the ruling class have to learn the old “revenoooers” lesson over again every generation or so…

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: April 10, 2009, 2:03 am

Actually another cigarette tax frenzy some years ago was the final straw for me and I went on the patch program and made it stick. I’m so glad I did. My Dad still smokes and he’s paying nearly 50 bucks per carton now. That’s insane.

Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: April 10, 2009, 5:06 am

Can people start planting their own tabaccy gardens?

They can and do. I grow my own tobacco and on the forum I hang out at, there’ve been lots of new American joinees recently, mostly all saying, ‘Hi, I’m new here. Our government has just increased tobacco taxes by x%. I think it’s time to start growing my own.’

There’s even this guy from Kentucky who’s a proper tobacco farmer and his family has been doing it since the late 1700s. He’s now rapidly being driven out of business by high costs and low returns on his crop. It’s really sad.

Comment from lizardbrain
Time: April 10, 2009, 8:18 am


People around these parts drive an hour and a half to New Hamster to get their tax-free ciggies and booze, and then drive an hour and a half to get their contraband home. I can just imagine the mass exodus every payday in Rhode Island. This will increase employment in the Highway Patrol.

Comment from dfbaskwill
Time: April 10, 2009, 9:19 am

Wendyworn, you heartless soul (insert smilie here)! Don’t you know that smoking is “for the children”. Except here in PA, (where Gov. “Fast Eddy” Rendell raided the Physicians own Malpractice Fund), taxes on smoking funds The CHIP program. Stopping smoking may cause the death of a child, (who is probably listed as homeless and registered to vote!)

Comment from TheBigBlueBug
Time: April 10, 2009, 9:29 am

Insane tax policy and re-electing Patrick “Keep me away from your sailboat” Kennedy. I hang my head in shame.

Comment from JuliaM
Time: April 10, 2009, 11:16 am

“They can and do. I grow my own tobacco…”

How long do you have to dry it for?

Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: April 10, 2009, 11:47 am

Until it’s gone from green (or yellow depending on which leaves you’ve picked) to brown. Couple of weeks usualy. Then I cure it in my curing chamber (which is basically a polystyrene cuboid with a humidifier and a heater in it). And then you’ve got tobacco.

Comment from Matt P
Time: April 10, 2009, 1:54 pm

And people want to legalize pot so we can tax it… If I was a pothead that is the last thing I’d want (I’d predict $50 bucks a joint within 2 years of legalization).

Comment from Nicholas the Slide
Time: April 10, 2009, 4:03 pm

As I live in Kafkafornia…

I am so stealing that word 😀

Now I know you’re thinking I’m a nutter(my best British), but county boards in L.A. are proposing ideas like these!

For those who don’t know, this is the state that has outlawed Bacon Dogs. Yes. It is now illegal to buy or sell Hot Dogs with Bacon from roadside vendors unless they have an expensive license. After that, nothing CA’s legal nutjobs do surprises me.

(Don’t believe me? Google “Drew Carey and California bacon dogs”. Tell ya all you need to know.)

Comment from Phineas
Time: April 10, 2009, 5:59 pm

welcome to it

Comment from Brigette
Time: April 10, 2009, 9:56 pm

What a great post title. Seriously, why are they so stupid? Boggles the mind.

Comment from ATNorth
Time: April 10, 2009, 10:40 pm

As a resident of Seekonk, Massachusetts, I can pee into Rhode Island from my porch. I used to take the three minutes drive to the Shell station there on Newport Ave and Benefit Street, right between the two tattoo parlors there. Now I’ll just stay home and go to the Hess station on Central and Newman Ave- Seekonk, MA.

What a pantload.

Comment from nbpundit
Time: April 14, 2009, 9:08 pm

Folks should start growing their own, it’s cheap and
legal unlike maryjane.

Write a comment

(as if I cared)

(yeah. I'm going to write)

(oooo! you have a website?)

Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.

<< carry me back to ol' virginny