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Last Friday in June

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sock it to me

Comments


Comment from whtshrbbt/amuirin
Time: June 29, 2007, 10:28 pm

*soils the shiny new thread*

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 30, 2007, 4:58 am

I just got a spam the subject of which was “flabby pine cone.”

 


Comment from TattooedIntellectual
Time: June 30, 2007, 5:15 am

I am in Sydney at the moment (actually for the next 6 months) and I spent 30 min taking photos of the Opera House today. How cool is that!

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 30, 2007, 5:19 am

Very cool. Are you an Aussie?

 


Comment from Gnus
Time: June 30, 2007, 11:45 am

Oh boy, oh boy. I’ve won a million pounds. eBay says so. Me and 56 other people.

It ain’t from Nigeria. I figure it must be on the up and up.

All I have to do is send them my stats. Hot damn.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 30, 2007, 12:55 pm

You too? Man, we are going to have so much fun lording it over all the poor minions here. I’m not even gonna wait for the check; gonna go buy me a boat today!

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 30, 2007, 1:56 pm

Now Weez, no man wants his pine cone to be flabby. You know that.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 1:58 pm

Oh, yeah? Well, I just got informed that I don’t even NEED the extra 4 inches on my pine cone! So there!

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:01 pm

I gotta agree with the Steamboat on this one (in some other thread I’m far too lazy to go wading through right now)–Islamic Rage Boy sure looks like he’s got two pancakes on his head, rather than the one claimed. It’s just this sort of right-wingnut hate-speech that makes the rest of the world hate us so! Hegemonic Genocidal Imperialists: Giving the World a Short Stack for 400 years (and counting)!

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:02 pm

Speaking of short stacks, my pine cone ain’t much to brag about, either.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:14 pm

Spam subject-line haiku:

Explore the pricing.
We give you \/!agra here!
Don’t get left behind.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:15 pm

My last girlfriend called me Scots Pine.

I think those flapjacks make Rage Boy look french. Oui?

…And that is not a compliment. He looks just like the kind of guy that’d build half-assed fuel-air bombs and then mis-wire the phone detonators – both of ’em.

I am so glad these buttmonkeys are incompetent.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:19 pm

Pancakes as headgear
Aunt Jemima would smile wide
Waiting for syrup

 


Comment from Pupster
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:21 pm

Speaking of pancakes, I just found out that my syrup is made from corn and not maple trees. Who Gnu? Not me, that’s who.

High-fructose corn syrup. No wonder rage boy is pissed.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:24 pm

more spam subject line haiku:

Chubby lolitas–
ATTENTION URGENT TRANSFER
Enlargement patches!

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:26 pm

I recently bought some “100% real” maple syrup – at the astonishing price of about $10 a pint!

I can’t say it was all that much better than Mrs. Butterworth’s.

BTW: did you-all know that Word 2000 says that “butt monkey” is two words – not one? Now how would it know…? And just WHO decided this convention in my absence? I wasn’t consulted, that’s for sure.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:31 pm

Islamic Rage Boy
Too big a pig for blanket
Even corn-syrup slicked.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:35 pm

Islamic Rage Boy
Wielding twin Aunt Jemima’s
Ready for action.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:39 pm

Islamic Rage Boy
Too afraid to splodey-dope
Kills Joos with heart-clogs.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:44 pm

Islamic Rage Boy
Examining his short stack
“Where is my pine cone?”

Islamic Rage Boy
lacking sufficient pine nuts
To face freedom’s strength.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:51 pm

Islamic Rage Boy
With his Fresh ‘n Fruity hat
Occupies IHOP.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:56 pm

Spewed my iced tea on that one, jw!

 


Comment from Pupster
Time: June 30, 2007, 2:57 pm

Islamic Rage Boy
Tilts his pancake jauntily
Too early, flapjacks?

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 3:02 pm

Islamic Rage Boy
Cocky with pancake headgear
“Make me look ‘sploded?”

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 3:31 pm

Le Challenge!!!!!

The Rage Boy

(with apologies to E. A. Poe – again)

I came upon Islamic Rage Boy, splicing wires into his toy,
Something – consisting mostly of some propane tanks, gas and nails.
And while I gandered, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping
As if some fucktard were really rapping – tapping on a detonator core!
“Oh, shit!” I screamed – my heart was whapping – just then I started on my crapping
Only crapping – nothing more.

Next verse?

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 30, 2007, 3:39 pm

Islamic Rage Boy named Moh-habby
Lamented his pine cone so flabby.
With short stack askew,
He cried ‘Damn the joo!’
–Then went back to his job as a cabby.

alternate last line:
I don’t think three inches too shabby!’

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 30, 2007, 3:54 pm

I’m experiencing total brain-lock on that one, Steam. I can’t even find the verse of The Raven that one is a rip-off of.

 


Comment from Pupster
Time: June 30, 2007, 4:38 pm

Presently my shorts grew lumpy: and I called out, rather grumpy,
“Mohamed” said I “stop messing around there with those wires:
Get me some wet naps, never mind with those straps,
Get your self away from that detonator core
Go over there and wait behind the door.”
Pancake head said nothing more.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 4:53 pm

Sorry for the hiatus – I had to feed my face.

That was – uh – the first stanza of The Raven – butchered quite a bit. I got so excited finding a poem that would accept “Islamic Rage Boy” as a drop-in fit, I forgot all other rules.

Feel free to rewrite it – it could use it. Pupster’s got the second verse.

Limericks. Hmmm….(museprocessor.reset = yes; terminateobject/museprocessor/;loadlimerickengine = yes;)

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 30, 2007, 4:53 pm

Pupster! Steamboat! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 4:54 pm

Go, Pup!

 


Comment from Pupster
Time: June 30, 2007, 5:07 pm

I had take-out for dinner, my fortune cookie,”You see pictures in poems and poems in pictures.”

Freaky.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 5:23 pm

I saw grilled (ahh!) pork steaks with mashed potatoes and asparagus. 16,000 calories later….I am refreshed. But I didn’t get a fortune cookie.

Somewhat vaguely I remember, Islamic Rage Boy – in December –
Tried to blow his mind to embers, lost his pancakes – blown to gore.
Then the Rage Boy – most Islamic – found more pancakes – Aunt jemim-ic
And thus disguised, appearance comic, did try totaling a condom store.
“A rubber store?”, spake me so blandly. “Go drive your taxi!”, I blurted sadly,
Then I laughed – and nothing more.

 


Comment from TattooedIntellectual
Time: June 30, 2007, 6:45 pm

Sorry Weasel, had to sleep (stupid time zones 🙂 ). Actually American, down here working on a Masters degree. Was in Wellington NZ for 6 months, will be in Sydney for 6 months. Hoping to make it home before Xmas!

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 6:56 pm

Tattoed-I,

I think Weasel is face-feeding now, or sumpin. Meanwhile, everything went strange and haiku-like here. Masters? What are you reading – if I may be so nosy?

 


Comment from TattooedIntellectual
Time: June 30, 2007, 7:40 pm

Y’alls facility w/ the haiku is quite amazing.

Main line of study is conservation biology. Goal upon returning home is to embark on a PhD in animal behavior/environmental enrichment in zoos. Although, by the time I get done I might just decide to be a hermit and eschew all worldly concerns.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 30, 2007, 8:08 pm

Animal behavior/environmental enrichment in zoos? Makes me think it’d be something Jane Goodall would get behind, now that she’s an “activist” rather than a researcher. Just finished a biography on her, BTW.

You should take a whack at a haiku, T-I. They’re kinda fun, given a fun subject. And, god knows, Weasel comes up with some strange and interesting subjects.

 


Comment from TattooedIntellectual
Time: June 30, 2007, 10:36 pm

If you truly want to be bored McGoo I can go on for hours about the lack of scientific rigor in zoos 🙂

To be honest, not sure what Goodall’s stance is on zoos. She could easily be one of those who thinks zoos are evil period. But I haven’t read all that much about her.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 12:47 am

Oh, I believe you vis-a-vis zoos. Any institution where employees are fairly regularly eaten or injured has room for improvement. Some years ago I read about a zookeeper (in India, I believe) who decided to see just what would happen if he pee’d on a tiger. He gave his life confirming a long-accepted theory:

Never pee on a tiger, T-I.

Goodall was – I believe – ambivalent about zoos. If the apes were well-cared for and living in a “rich/complex” invironment, I guess she was happy. She was/is … energetic. And boy! did she catch some doozy diseases over there.

 


Comment from jwpaine
Time: July 1, 2007, 12:52 am

Never pee on a tiger. Gotcha.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 1:10 am

jw! You’re up late.

Yes – words of wisdom. Hard as it may be to believe, tigers do not take kindly to one initiating micturition in their general direction.

 


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 1, 2007, 1:17 am

Environment. Environment.

“Four years ago I couldn’t even spell engineer, and now I are one!” – famous engineering expression

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 1, 2007, 5:43 am

My mother’s best friend was soaked by a tiger at the circus. She was in the front row. Wearing a fur coat. “Retromicturition” I think they call that, when male cats piss straight backward.

Had it happen to me. I was at the Washington (D.C.) zoo and I made eye contact with a bobcat or…some kind of wildcat. I forget. He turned around a pee’d a perfect Zorro “Z” across my sweatshirt. What was remarkable was, we passed his cage an hour later on the way to the car and he got me again. Lots of other people about, but he nailed me. Twice.

That cat wanted me.

I read your zoo animal proposal on GC Pundit, T-I. By that time, other people had covered whatever suggestions I might have had, but it was a very creditable effort.

 


Comment from Bob Cat
Time: July 1, 2007, 8:57 am

Iz in ur zooz

Peen on ur weazelz

 


Comment from TattooedIntellectual
Time: July 1, 2007, 7:29 pm

Thanks Weasel. I’m still dinking around w/ it. To be honest, I need to get it finished and get it emailed to the prof soon. I can honestly say I’ve never been peed on in a zoo. Interesting.

 

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