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You know, that title could be taken another way


We visited friends in Alfriston Sunday, and they were like, “there’s a free screening of the Age of Stupid here today. You should go!” And we’re, like, “oh! Ummm…ha. Yeah. Ah. Mmmm. Heh heh heh.”

Have you heard of this turkey? It’s an indy film about an archivist from 2055 who looks back at footage of our time and wonders, “ZOMG, why didn’t they listen to the hippies about globular warmening????” It’s got all the important scientific issues: Iraq, Nigeria, wind farms, hurricane Katrina. McDonald’s and Wal*Mart (probably. Just guessing here).

It’s less charty and graphy than An Inconvenient Truth; it’s more an attempt to put a human face on pants-peeing alarmism. As one user on IMDB put it, “it’s possible that even Sarah Palin herself could not fail to be affected by the story of Fernand Pareau, an octogenarian French mountain guide, showing us the glacier he loves as it withers away before his eyes.”

Whoof. Excuse me. Just step around that for now and I’ll clean it up in a sec.

The film premiered in New York on September 21 and all the world’s most prominent scientists were there: Kofi Annan, Gillian Anderson. Moby. That freaky-looking dude from Radiohead.

Anyhoo, in case this embarrassing invitation crops up again, I’ve pre-jiggered five reasons I can’t go see your stupid global warmening movie:

1 My mom was so terrified by The Population Bomb, she had an abortion rather than let me be one of the hundreds of millions who starved in the 1970s.

2 In 1983, I went out into the new Ice Age, licked a flagpole and I’ve been stuck to it ever since. Please come get me; I’m cold and lonely.

3 I ate a delicious t-bone steak in a restaurant London in 1998 and was one of the 100,000 to die horribly of Mad Cow disease.

4 Dude! Are you kidding? The grid hasn’t worked around here since the Y2K disaster. I’ve spent the last nine years living in a yurt eating treebark sammiches.

5 I gots de swine flu. Okay, strike that one. The flu pandemic still has time to be an actual catastrophe, for reals this time.

In case I’m being too fucking subtle here the professional catastrophe-mongers are always wrong. Bad scientists and conmen have been trying to sell the apocalypse to a weary public over and over again since…since science overtook Jesus as the main faith of the West.

Man-made global warmening is just the most recent. They’ve gotten clever with this con, though — the deadline is far, far in the future. We must act RIGHT NOW…but we’ll never know for sure how much they’ve played us for chumps. We won’t live that long.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 5, 2009, 3:40 pm

Even good scientists beclown themselves when they play Mystic Meg. Though, I suppose, speculation is part of the job…as long as everyone concerned realizes that for every thing that happens, there are an infinite number of things that could have happened and didn’t.

Incidentally — one of the “facts” cited in the movie, apparently, is that only 1% of climate scientists of our time dispute the existence of MMGW. Do you know, I’m sure that’s true. I suspect “climate science” is a recent descriptor mostly adopted by young warmenists. I’m betting, however, if you include scientists who describe themselves as climatologists — not to mention meteorologists and geologists and such — the numbers are quite different.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: October 5, 2009, 3:50 pm

Sorry – I looked up into the hole in the ozone layer and it burned out my retinas.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 5, 2009, 3:52 pm

Oh! I forgot that one.

How about: I can’t go outside. Acid rain destroyed my umbrella.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: October 5, 2009, 3:52 pm

Bad scientists and conmen have been trying to sell the apocalypse to a weary public over and over again since…since science overtook Jesus as the main faith of the West.

Thank you for saying what I’ve been trying to say for years. The new religion is science and they SUCK AT IT.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 5, 2009, 4:03 pm

What, and go out into the nuclear Winter? Not me!

Voting has begun at Iowahawk‘s. Personally, I voted for “racist pixel” and Felix’s entry. There were some good late entries, too.

Comment from Phineas Fogg
Time: October 5, 2009, 4:04 pm

Don’t forget the co-op of being “Green”. Only one sheet of toliet paper (recycled of course).

Comment from Blast Hardcheese
Time: October 5, 2009, 4:36 pm

I, for one, think that Treebark Sammiches would be an excellent band name.

More seriously, check out climateaudit.org. Started by a geologist/businessman, who was curious to see if he could recreate the famous ‘hockey stick’ graph, derived from tree ring data, that supposedly shows that it’s now hotter than it’s ever been, OMGWTFBBQ.

Bottom line, he’s had a devil of a time getting the raw data and methodology used for these graphs, and from what he’s gathered the method used for the most famous ‘hockey stick’ (basically a fancy weighted average)is seriously flawed – it tends to ‘mine’ data for hockey-stick like shapes, even from random noise.

His most recent find was that another ‘confirming’ hockey-stick graph, published TEN YEARS AGO, finally had the raw data put online…and the ‘warming’ trend is due to only using about 12 trees out of the 34 available from the same region. When all trees are used, the ‘warming’ DISAPPEARS.

Sorry for the caps, but as a scientist this crap really gets under my skin.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 5, 2009, 4:42 pm

I read that last week, Blast. Fascinating. But, of course, the warmenists are all, like, “sure, but now there’s all kinds of OTHER evidence, so it doesn’t matter.” Of course, lots of the other studies rely on the same ten(!) trees.

Watts up with that? is another great blog to follow for AGW stuff.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: October 5, 2009, 4:48 pm

Apparently, England has the longest extant set of properly recorded temperature records – some 351 years worth of them, if you please.

According to a recent analysis, they show a clear and absolute – um, nothing much at all. No warming.

In fact, if anything, the summers are cooler than they were in the 18th Century.

I wonder if that means I can now go back to wearing my jaunty powdered wig?

Comment from Schlippy, Yurt Dweller
Time: October 5, 2009, 5:20 pm

Huh, you mean I can come out now?

Pingback from Tweets that mention S. Weasel — Topsy.com
Time: October 5, 2009, 5:32 pm

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Stoo Pid. Stoo Pid said: In which a blogger becomes a movie critic of the nuclear sort: http://sweasel.com/archives/4603 […]

Comment from Pupster
Time: October 5, 2009, 5:38 pm

I remember the ‘fresh water crisis’ and the ‘top soil crisis’ from when I was a young pup, along with the aforementioned acid rain and ozone hole.

I’ve lost track…am I supposed to be worried about the disappearing honey bees too? Oh, and aren’t all the frogs in England tits-up as well?

*chews nails obsessively*

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 5, 2009, 5:53 pm

Stoatie Luv, you could write for Leno….

The whole thing reminds me of the 4th Samurai Cat book, where Tomokato and his nephew Shiro have to go into the very heart of darkness (Hollywood) to salvage his reputation, while fighting white ninjas, demonic studio producers and the CRAPMOS, living tar that feeds on stupidity……

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 5, 2009, 5:55 pm

Silent Spring. Deformed frogs. Nuclear holocaust.

It’s not that catastrophic things never happen. It’s that they’re never the catastrophic things we predict.

Mark my words, though, Pups. When this AGW thing blows over, the NEXT huge manufactured crisis is going to be the worldwide unequal distribution of potable water. I’ve been keeping an eye on the rumble on that one, and it’s gently increasing.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 5, 2009, 5:56 pm

Oh! The vanishing rainforest and mass extinctions! I keep remembering new ones…

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: October 5, 2009, 6:10 pm

Yeah, I’d like to have come, but since the oil ran out 20 years ago, I’ve stayed at home most days.

Comment from Pupster
Time: October 5, 2009, 6:19 pm

Ooooh, Rainforest Depletion…good one Stoaty.

Your potable water prediction made me think of Sam Kinison and famine in Africa. NSFW-language.


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 5, 2009, 6:25 pm

Uh Oh.. New Middle East Crisis…


CAIRO — Conservative Egyptian lawmakers have called for a ban on imports of a Chinese-made kit meant to help women fake their virginity and one scholar has even called for the “exile” of anyone who imports or uses it.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: October 5, 2009, 6:54 pm

They’re divided between fresh water and dying oceans, both are getting a push. It depends which one gets picked up by the UN mainly. I am guessing the water one will win out, because its the easiest to manipulate into a socialist agenda. Fishing rights and coastal stuff is only in smaller areas of the surface, water is everywhere.

Comment from Allen
Time: October 5, 2009, 7:08 pm

You know a giant asteroid could be hurtling at us and these wet brains would still be bleating about how only Marx (or some version of him) can save us.

It’s always the same, only the left can save us!

Let’s see what are some others. Overfishing the oceans. Electrical transmission wires and brain cancer. Lack of biodiversity will collapse the ecosystem.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 5, 2009, 7:09 pm

Ugh. DON’T get me started on fishing rights. Britain just basically totally gutted (ha!) its own fishing industry in favor of the EU and got NOTHING in return. It’s lousy, awful environmentally, to boot.

Our local area has fleets of little boats that go out every day and catch small hauls of fish using old techniques. The restrictions on them are appalling. And if they go over, for example, their quota of cod? They have to throw them away when they come up in the nets with other fish. So the fucking fish still die, but nobody gets any benefit.

Meanwhile, they allow these giant factory ships to throw nets across the bottom of the sea and scrub up EVERYTHING that comes into them. Just totally moonscape the floor of the Channel.

Oh, it makes me angry. One of the reasons I hate environmentalists is that I do genuinely care about the natural world and preserving it and they don’t.

Comment from Allen
Time: October 5, 2009, 8:01 pm

I have always been a conservationist, and was even a card carrying member of the Sierra Club, until they became primarily a PAC. Hey, I think John Muir was a great man.

Over several decades I have come to a rather simple conclusion: most of the people who swear they’re pro-environment do their damndest to screw it up.

I’ve earned a nickname from the Forest Service, “Trashman.” Every year I end up packing out hundreds of pounds of trash from wilderness areas in the Sierras, left by the environmentally conscious.

Well, I don’t personally pack it out, my trusty packhorse Jake does.

Comment from Pupster
Time: October 5, 2009, 8:15 pm

Your typical ‘environmentalist’ these days would be scared shitless if confronted with actual raw wilderness and the laws of nature.

It’s pretty easy to care about the environment from a soft chair in Starbucks. You want to impress me greenie? Save the Polar Bears in person.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 5, 2009, 8:42 pm

Heh. Yeah, Allen. I used to hike with a big black plastic garbage bag and pack out the beer cans.

Comment from Allen
Time: October 5, 2009, 9:20 pm

My favorite was the “Environmental Wedding” crew. It was like a bad cross between hippie and yuppie. They had themselves delivered into a wilderness area with a carbon footprint that would have choked Al Gore.

Mother Gaia, overlooked their vows as the wedding party broke their champagne glasses against the rocks. Where’s some hungry bears when you need them. Speaking of which, the bears are hungry in one area. They’re eating Juniper berries, yes I notice bear scat. Jumpin’ Bearophus, that’s bear action for really spooky, hungry, scary bears.

Have you heard the bear and bells joke?

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: October 5, 2009, 9:34 pm

Well there’s a difference between a “preseverationist” and a “conservationist.” Most hunters and fishermen, hikers and so on are the latter: keep the areas, but use them, care for them, and treat them with respect.

The former are usually bong huffing twits who live in big cities and know all about the wilderness from their John Muir calendar and college professors. They want nothing changed, no trails, no human use whatsoever, leaving it “pristine.”

Those second group guys are the ones that banned clearing brush and thinning forests in the 90s so they burned flat.

Comment from Roman Wolf
Time: October 5, 2009, 11:22 pm

Well, I’m almost over my flu…so I should tell ya my experience with it. It’s pretty much like the normal flu except it gave me some really bad headaches and odd eye strain. If ya just bundle up, stay warm, and drink plenty of liquids, you’ll probably be fine.

Comment from Oldcat
Time: October 6, 2009, 12:56 am

Can’t fool me – the second coming was in 1000AD.

Or 1835, ask a Jehovah’s Witness

Comment from Oldcat
Time: October 6, 2009, 1:01 am

Wait, I’m supposed to get sentimental about a frickin glacier? A thousand foot think sheet of ice that grinds the earth, plants and animals to powder?

You might get me on kittens, fluffy bunnies and brown eyed seals – but dirty ice is beyond the limit. I lived in Chicago too long to want to preserve dirty ice.

Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: October 6, 2009, 8:29 am

I would attempt a coherent comment about Suze Orman but my brain was melted by the high tension power line magnetic fields. Plus coffee, peanuts, hamburgers and cellphones gave me cancer which red wine prevented until it didn’t.

Comment from Blast Hardcheese
Time: October 6, 2009, 8:30 am

Glaciers are a handy way to show the Terrible Severity Of The Crisis, since you can only show so many dried-out lake beds.

Comment from Pupster
Time: October 6, 2009, 10:14 am

Glad you are feeling less swiney and more wolfey Roman.

Can we add H1N1 Mexican Flu to the catastrophy monger list, or is it too soon?

Asian Bird Flu anyone?

Comment from Allen
Time: October 6, 2009, 10:44 am

Would you like to see how fast the science associated with global warming becomes less “settled?”

Tell them that since they’ve all reached a consensus and everything is settled we obviously don’t need to fund any more research in the area.

Squeal, squeal, but, but…

Comment from The Dread Pirate Neck Beard
Time: October 6, 2009, 11:17 am

I would comment, but I died from a combination of SARS and monkey pox in 2002.

Comment from mommer
Time: October 6, 2009, 11:39 am

Ugh, I’m deffinatley having the avian swine flu this morning. I got if from my bird who is being a real swine this morning. That and a couple of good bites to the fingers.

Comment from Roman Wolf
Time: October 6, 2009, 1:24 pm

It’s definitely overblown(I was always a sceptic though). It’s pretty much just like the normal flu. However, I do have no doubt it could be quite nasty if you have another illness or disease that exacerbates it(normal flu, HIV, being pregnant, that sorta thing).

So I’d definitely put it on the list, it’s no Spanish Influenza of 1918. But it will probably have a similar death toll as the normal influenza season.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: October 6, 2009, 4:48 pm

Ask a preterist and the second coming was in 40AD!

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 6, 2009, 6:32 pm

LOL…. Looks like there was a ruckus at the premier of “The age of stupid”, when a reporter had the unmitigated GALL to ask akward questions….

“After a few questions which revealed that none of those at the premiere had the slightest intention of living up to the standards they demand of others the film makers decided they didn’t want to be accountable. Along with their security guards they manhandled me and and forced me of the press deck despite having given me accreditation to be there.

I didn’t realise press accreditation now comes with provisos that you are not allowed to ask awkward questions of environmental activists and their celebrity supporters.

They then used their security team to block my camera.”


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 6, 2009, 6:41 pm

That blog’s a good find, Scoob.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 6, 2009, 6:42 pm

Ohhh…they’re promoting a movie.

Comment from Will
Time: October 6, 2009, 8:36 pm

I’m sorry I can’t attend your crappy movie as I’ve been buried in trash due to over-flowing landfills.

Comment from TexMex
Time: October 6, 2009, 10:05 pm

“As one user on IMDB put it, “it’s possible that even Sarah Palin herself could not fail to be affected by the story of Fernand Pareau, an octogenarian French mountain guide, showing us the glacier he loves as it withers away before his eyes.””

Sarah Palin no doubt thinks your movie’s frothing and ranting over global meltdown/catastrophe is bullshit and I whole heartedly agree with her.

Piss on yourself, IMBD nerdy poster.

Ya’ll have a nice day.

Comment from diogenes
Time: October 8, 2009, 4:01 pm

In the 1920s and 30s we were going to run out of coal by the 50s. I also saw “The China syndrome” once.

Comment from Sordy
Time: October 10, 2009, 2:56 pm

LOL… I stopped watching the news 25 years ago! After being in the middle of a major news story and having some clue. I actually watched the story on all the networks. All three had different stories, what a load of bull! Then I got a degree in Zoology and learned 95% of science is a load of the same bull!!! My Missouri upbringing brings one truth to mind – “Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see”

Comment from TomF
Time: October 16, 2009, 10:51 am

With all due deference to mister ‘king of the blind’ one post up, that’s right. The media spin things every which way but upright and honest most of the time.

That’s why Mr Weasel is a bit off in some of his comparisons, the key one being the ‘new Ice Age’. That was a media creation for the most part taken from a few outlier scientists. Read a summary of why here (and the whole study they link to if’n you can be bothered).


Nothing wrong with being sceptical. But that includes being sceptical about your own myths too no? 😉

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 16, 2009, 1:08 pm

Uh huh. Realclimate.org. I’m going to buy climate information from that Soros-funded outfit? I think not.

Myths yourself. And it’s Miz Weasel to you.

Meanwhile, I’ve just read in the paper there’s going to be a screening of this ass-wipe movie closer to home, thanks in part to funding from a local nature reserve that I just joined last weekend. My pence are going into the pocket of that alarmist propagandist.


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: October 16, 2009, 1:13 pm

Fucking idiot. One of the lead howlers in the tribe of global cooling monkeys was no less than the arch loon James ‘climate crisis’ Hansen.

Still, perhaps we’re in agreement after all? I mean Hansen isn’t really much a scientist, is he?

Comment from TomF
Time: October 16, 2009, 3:05 pm

Myths upon myths Miz Weasel. The website’s hosted by ‘Gorey’ EMS etc, sure, but the scis work non-profit and claim they have full editorial control. (The fact that they blog for free shows they’re from the passionate end of the scale, for sure, but that’s not enough reason to discredit any sci studies they undertake off the bat).

Shame. I like your pinko-baiting style, but you seem too snug in your hole to ever step outside it. Never mind.

As for darling Uncle Badger, I think you’ll find it’s you who’s been the idiot on this occasion. See Hansen’s rebuttal here:

For more on the Rasool paper you can read the Realclimate mini-study. But you won’t.

As for whether you’re a ‘fucking idiot’, I can only hope not. The world has enough people who gormlessly absorb whatever they want to hear from the ‘fourth estate’. We don’t need any more.

Comment from TomF
Time: October 16, 2009, 3:12 pm

‘Missing link’: http://www.columbia.edu/~jeh1/mailings/2007/20070924_Grandfather.pdf

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 16, 2009, 3:45 pm

Well, I’ll tell you, Tom — I could unfold the giant Google rolodex and match you skeptical-scientist-for-warmist-scientist, study for study. And you could do likewise. As laypeople faced with a battle of the experts, we have to make decisions based on something other than our own expertise or the battle of the credentialed scientists.

I put my skepticism down to three main factors:

One, who’s making the most money out of this? Hands down, the warmist side. Billions with a b, if not trillions with a tr by the time the carbon marketplace gets going full tilt.

Two, what are the proposed solutions to the problem? Bicycles, recycling, vegetarianism, austerity, solar power, — all the hair-shirt hippie bullshit that lefties have been trying to push on me all my life. That’s just a touch convenient, isn’t it?

And third — it’s fucking freezing out there. Haven’t you noticed? IT’S NOT GETTING WARMER!

And don’t even THINK about saying it — the plural of anecdote damn well IS data and weather damn well IS climate if you have enough examples.

I know Al Gore, dude. We’re from the same hometown. He’s a moron.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: October 16, 2009, 4:18 pm

Hansen’s rebuttal, eh?

That’d be the one writen on the back of Goebbels’ “It vostn’t me! I vos somewhere else at ze time”?

Hansen has been caught bang to rights – even his former boss has ratted on him. He’s now been joined in the zodiacal sign of the ‘data adjusting hippy’ by Mann and Briffa.

Piss off and take your credulousness with you It’s only appealing in the under eights.

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