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Magnum opus

When I woke up this morning, I was in the middle of the most vivid dream. I was doing one of those huge, insanely detailed pencil drawings we had to do in art school. Mine was called “Three Crisps and a Corn Flake.”

My mental picture was so clear and impressive, I briefly considered buying a big sheet of bristol board and drawing it for reals.

Then I remembered that those drawings took us, like, ten hours a day for several weeks. Whereas going to Google images, typing “potato chips” and ‘shopping around with the result takes about ten minutes.

See, this is why I don’t paint.

Anyhoo, sorry for the laminosity of posts this week. A former cow orker of mine from the Olde Countree is in England on vacation and planned to drop in on Casa del Badger. I’ve spent my time slaying dust bunnies and vacuuming up spiders. When those snapshots make it back to the Land of the Free, I want envy to burn with the fire of a thousand white hot suns in the breasts of one or two of my former colleagues.

That is, assuming there’s a Rhode Island to go back to.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 1, 2010, 11:18 pm

Wow! Spare six minutes and watch this clip of Obama talking up Obamacare.

I’ve never heard him be such an overtly sarcastic asshole. I knew he had it in him, but this is as unpresidential a performance as I’ve seen. Calling out people by name. Laughing at the right because nothing bad happened the instant he signed the bill. Laughing at the left because they expected good things the instant he signed the bill.

Criticism has to be stinging the hell out of him or he wouldn’t be such a jerk about it.

Comment from Bill (still the .00358% of your traffic that’s from Iraq) T
Time: April 1, 2010, 11:37 pm

Sorry — I could only take four minutes of it before I found myself reaching for a non-existent bottle of Buffalo Trace…

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: April 1, 2010, 11:41 pm

Whoa, did Rhode Island capsize or something?

Dennis Miller had another comedian (I don’t remember his name) on his radio show a while back and he uncorked a great line: “If Obama’s skin was any thinner his head would have a reservoir tip.”

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: April 1, 2010, 11:49 pm

I am shamed – shamed I tell you.

I just had to get Stoaty to explain that comment to me.

Comment from armybrat
Time: April 1, 2010, 11:51 pm

Rhode Island is now just a fond (or not so as is your choice) memory. And really, is there much there to mourn? We here in beantown have suffered thru the never.ending.rain. only to send the offal down stream to RI…just the misery, not the ignominy. But it’s going to be sunny and 70 this weekend and I’m not working. Woooohoooo!

Comment from Spad13
Time: April 2, 2010, 12:20 am

Weasel I don’t think this post is lame at all.

Do you really think in fully formed pictures? I mostly think in mud and numbers. If I have had a lot of coffee I can think in directions. But to see fully formed pictures in your head has to be really cool, or really distracting

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: April 2, 2010, 12:29 am

Bill, stick with Stranahans.

No, no real reason, just pitching for Denver’s own home brew.

Stranahan’s Colorado Whiskey
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Stranahan’s Colorado Whiskey
Location Denver, Colorado
United States
Owner(s) George Stranahan
Jess Graber
Year opened 2004
v • d • e
Stranahan’s Colorado Whiskey is a 94 proof, small-batch whiskey distilled in Denver, Colorado, 200 S Kalamath St Denver Co. Stranahan’s Colorado Whiskey is the first microdistillery making whiskey in Colorado and the Rocky Mountains as well as one of the first in the country. Stranahan’s Colorado Whiskey is the first of a new category known as “Rocky Mountain Straight Whiskey”

The whiskey is made from a unique four-barley fermented wash that consists of carbon filtered Rocky Mountain water and western barley that is grown in the Northern Rockies. The wash is distilled in a Vendome Copper custom-made combination Pot / Column still and then aged in 50 gallon heavily charred (#4 char), American white oak whiskey barrels made by World Cooperage in Lebeanon MO. The barrels age for between 2 and 5 years in a humidified, climate controlled environment. 10-12 barrels are combined to make each batch consisting of 2500-3000 bottles. Each bottle is filled by hand and each label is hand written identifying the distiller, batch number, the youngest barrel in the batch and a unique comment.

Stranahan’s is named after minority owner, educator and activist George Stranahan, who also owns the Flying Dog Brewery formerly of Denver, currently located in Maryland. [1] Jess Graber, retired firefighter, is the majority partner and founder of the company. Head distiller and production manager Jake Norris is also a part owner and founder of the company.

Stranahan’s Colorado Whiskey won the Gold medal in the malt whiskey division of the 2008 American Distillers Institute in Louisville KY. as well as the over all Best of Show. Other awards include Westword’s Best of Denver 2008 and 2009, The Malt Advocate Magazines Pioneer of the year 2008, Jim Murray’s 2008 Whiskey Bible named SCW The Best Small Batch Distilled Whiskey in the World.

Comment from Allen
Time: April 2, 2010, 2:05 am

Is it just me or does the major flooding follow democrats? I’m not the most spiritual type, but if you’re in a democrat place I would be considering the wrath of who knows what.

Jumpin’ Jehosephat, we have capsizing islands, now states. 57 states, Heinz 57. Then again G&T might be involved.

Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: April 2, 2010, 4:17 am

S. Weasel sez:

Spare six minutes and watch this clip of Obama talking

Uh, that would be “No.”

Huh, not just “No.” but “Hell, NO!”

Thanks. I feel better now.

Comment from Hotrodelectric
Time: April 2, 2010, 6:10 am

A former cow orker of mine from the Olde Countree is in England on vacation and planned to drop in on Casa del Badger

Stoatie, may I ask you a really stupid question? What is a cow orker? I know what a cow is, of course, having gon thru pubblik edshookayshun, but how does one go about orking it? I’m kind of curious to know when a cow is well and truely orked. Hmmm, maybe this question would be better suited to Mike Rowe on “Dirty Jobs”… 🙂

Comment from David Gillies
Time: April 2, 2010, 7:27 am

Cow orker? Weasel, were you a Usenet newsgroup denizen? Damn, that takes me back. Or, should I say: Viola!

I loved Usenet. I was on the NASA group for ages while I was at Uni until I went to the bathroom one day without locking my screen and some asshole dissed their lovely PR woman (Mary something or other) in my name and I never dared venture back. Still rankles.

Ah, the fledgling Internet. On the plus side, I saw Victoria Principal without her top on for the very first time. Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive/But to have a SPARCstation and NCSA Mosaic was very heaven!

On the down side, I did not immediately liquidate all my assets to invest in Internet porn. Had I done so, this missive would be from my diamond-encrusted computer, deep within my hollowed-out volcano, while various Victoria Principal lookalikes lounge around the pool.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 2, 2010, 11:55 am

Oh yes, David. Uncle B and I met on Usenet. He wrote an especially vicious flame and I emailed a fan letter. Happily, this is all earlier than the Deja News archive and lost in the mists of time.

No, Spad, I think in coherent, grammatically correct sentences. But they are illustrated with vivid pictures, and occasionally audio. My boss in the art department was of the opinion that vivid imagination is what makes cowards of us.

When I see a ladder propped against a house, I don’t just think, “wow — I could fall off that thing.” I also get a detailed video replay of what that would look like, complete with compound fracture, spattering gore and appropriate squishy/crunchy/screamy sound effects.

Comment from Bill (still the .00358% of your traffic that’s from Iraq) T
Time: April 2, 2010, 12:48 pm

scuba — Fond memories of a biker bar in Eagle, a few hours west of Denver, called “The Flying Dog Bar, Grille, and Garage.”

Only place I was ever thrown out of by the bouncer and then carried back in again by the patrons — most of whom I had medevaced, from one LZ or another, in ’69 – ’70.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 2, 2010, 1:06 pm

Good lord, Bill! And you’re still on active duty?!

Comment from Pavel
Time: April 2, 2010, 1:37 pm

Ah, man; the pre-archived Usenet. Those were the days, I’ll tell you, kids. We didn’t have none of these fancy GUIs back then. We had Unix commands; lots of ’em. If we wanted to find out what was on the Internet that day, we just had to type “l”.

And it was greppable! The entire Internet was greppable! You don’t believe me? Go ask your Uncle Kibo.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: April 2, 2010, 3:50 pm

Visual thinking isn’t just artists. I can’t draw a stick man without getting the limbs in the wrong place and I make a living because I was born with some small abilities to think visually. Part of my job is estimating, and to do that, I can construct a whole building’s (or campus of them)communications infrastructure in my head…down to the nuts, bolts and labels on the faceplates. Then pull all the pieces out of my brainal wiring, tally them up and squeeze out a list of all the parts, pieces and labor it would take to make it all come together.

And ahh..Usenet. BBS’. I wish I’d have saved one of those old free magazines with a whole page of dial-up numbers for different BBS interests. I have a .wav somewhere of a 28.8 modem connecting…always fun to play it once in a while. Kids have NO IDEA what it is.

Comment from Mike C.
Time: April 2, 2010, 5:40 pm

Uh, dear ? You’re in the UK now. That’s “three crisps and a cornflake.”

Your welcome.

Comment from Pavel
Time: April 2, 2010, 5:55 pm

Real men use 2400 baud.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: April 2, 2010, 6:35 pm

Bill, I think I’ve been there with my riding group.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: April 2, 2010, 6:43 pm

2400 baud? Pah! I used to play MUDs over a 1200/75 connection on the BBC micros at school. Prestel, baby! But, “I met my husband on Usenet and moved continents” is pretty cool. Bet that Al Gore never guessed he’d be playing Cupid when he invented the Internet.

As for visual thinking, I have a mild version of synæsthesia. It’s very hard to describe, but grammatical errors and typos have a sort of faint halo around them when I’m proof-reading. It’s not foolproof, but it does improve my error-detection rate.

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: April 2, 2010, 6:57 pm

Anybody have John Forsythe? He’s a gonner.

Comment from Pavel
Time: April 2, 2010, 7:11 pm

Dammit! I’ve been outgeeked again. Though I agree with the basic coolness of intercontinental romance springing up internetally, especially when it found its blossom in a vicious flame followed by a fan email.

My dad had a 300 baud, telephone handset adapter dealie. In those days, if you wanted to download pron, it was actually quicker to snail mail a request to the BBS and then they would snail mail you back the pron.

Here’s how myopic I was: I figured AOL would never catch on because it had too many graphics that got in the way of the real work. I truly thought people would prefer to commit dozens of cryptic Unix commands to memory. Thus I did not invest in AOL, and thus I, like David, lack a diamond-encrusted computer and related paraphernalia.

Comment from Jon
Time: April 2, 2010, 7:19 pm

On the plus side Pavel, The Remains of The AOL is a pale specter of its former self. If you stuck with their stock into the 2000s you would have had to hock the diamond-encrusted computer.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: April 2, 2010, 8:46 pm

Did anyone have John Forsythe in the Dead Pool? He just assumed room temperature…

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: April 2, 2010, 9:02 pm

Ah, yes – the dear old ‘acoustic coupler’! I think I still have sone somewhere. We used to use it for sending pages of data across to ‘the office’ some miles away. The only thing was no one dared cough. If you did, the other end would receive a page of (even worse) gibberish.

Then there was the first generation fax machine which had you clip sheets of specially treated paper to a rapidly rotating drum. When it worked (which it did, occasionally) it gave off a distinct ozone smell.

Shuffling hunchbacked round the room muttering: ‘Master! The creature! It moved!’ wasn’t obligatory, but I did it anyway.

Comment from Pavel
Time: April 2, 2010, 11:13 pm

I actually remember seeing one of those ancient fax units in operation once in 1983 or so. The rotating drum made a “douche, douche, douche, douche” sound.

That sort of cries out for a punch line, doesn’t it?

“Rectum? Hell, it nearly killed him!” Doesn’t quite fit, but it will have to do, as it is late Friday and there is beer to be drunk.

Comment from Bill (still the .00358% of your traffic that’s from Iraq) T
Time: April 4, 2010, 10:09 pm

Mizz Weaze — Nope, not still on AD. Retired in 2005. But I replaced *three* AD aviators when they contracted this job out over here, and they couldn’t even *find* one to do the Pak job I had in ’07.

Scuba — The barmaid in the Flying Dog had a shamrock tat on her left — uhhh — external mammalian sexual characteristic. Sound familiar?

Comment from Bill (still the .00358% of your traffic that’s from Iraq) T
Time: April 5, 2010, 7:04 am

We used to get weather and aircraft alert messages by teletype.


Ever try to fit a thirty-pound roll of paper full of wood chips into a slot that was made to hold a roll of paper weighing *exactly* thirty pounds?

No, I will *not* tell you what color dinosaurs really were.

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