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The Japanese must have really long tongues. And…things.

Who knew?

If I am ever challenged to properly stimulate a test-tube, I shall chuckle at the looks of disbelief when I meet said challenge with a surprising expertise (not to mention a certain aplomb). Thank you, Weasel, for the edifying link!

Would that be…Titiliating the Ol’ Test-tube?

Ah. Teasing the Ol’ Test-tube into Tumescence.

Please know that I resisted posting that comment for hours. To no avail…

I’m not sure how they do it in America, but in Blighty rolling jimmyhats over large test tubes was part of the sex education class. The rest being watching video about teenage pregnancies and STIs. Or used to be when I was in skoowil.
So hand-holding is tantamount to fucking in some cultures eh?
http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2007/03/04/05W_IRAN_narrowweb__300x364,0.jpg
Admonish them!
I tend to not look at or watch any oriental – mostly Japanese – art. This may sound racist, but in all of it that I’ve seen, it’s been a combination of tiny-genitalled men, and submissive, scared-looking women, all of which combines to make for something about as erotic as rubbing uranium hexaflouride into your eyes.

The pleasure is in the vessel like a pestle, or is it that the pleasure of the pumpin’ is in the floggin’ of the dragon?

I always get it wrong, but I like it

Rats! Try this link!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS75NtlH3gI

‘It’s not the size of the boat, but the motion in the ocean…’
Hey, I’m not overly-endowed myself, but goddamn, some of it (the J-porn) is like looking at (I imagine) pre-pubescent groping. And then there’s the hentai…

So….would some Short Dick Haiku be in order? I can’t help noticing that “Japanese Wieners” has five syllables.

Since the subject has been broached (and not by me) I don’t mind mentioning that for several years I’ve had a running joke going with some former NASA friends (including a Japanese-American) about the Japanese Space Program, which has had more than its share of abysmal failures:

“Ya can’t explore space with a short dick.”

It just stands to reason.

It’s never to early for Short Dick Haikus.
You know NASA people? I, sir, am thoroughly jealous.
Shit, if we didn’t have things like the BBC and the NHS (which is to money what a black hole is to light), we might be able to have our own space program.

*too…gah.

A short Dick makes
good rationalization
for no space program

A Short Dick problem
Never slowed me down to speak of
In fact, I’m too quick

An ill-trained Short Dick
makes me all the more glad I’m
A silver-tongued devil

Excellent, Lokki. And Race/Culture neutral, too. I’m glad…

Dick – Interrupted?
This is no problem. I am…
Linguistically skilled.

My cousin is a NASA guy. He knew that lady who flipped out and killed her kids. Given my family, I’m lucky he isn’t the lady that flipped out and killed her kids…

There once was a scientist from NASA
whose dick wasn’t exactly too massive
Though he used scientific techniques
He caused few moans – just some squeaks
as his love partners just usually laid passive

Not so good, but I actually am having to do some work today.

Short Dick Haiku. And limericks.

Two more Firsts here at S. Weasels.

There was once a young nerd lacking Wood.
He was convinced he could not – but he could.
He just needed ecstatics
And some Gymnasts gymnastics
She convinced him he’s really quite good.

Short Dick Haiku. And limericks.

Two more Firsts here at S. Weasels.

Right. This blog is on the bleeding edge. Of what I’m not exactly sure, but it’s definitely there. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Think of all the Firsts here. I’ll start:

Short Dick Haiku
Short Dick Limericks.
Mother-porn.
Booger Haiku.
Islamic Rage Boy Haiku
IRB limericks.
The Badgerbugger Estate Epic.
Mooning Haiku.

Now those are just off the top of my memory- and formerly-opiate-impaired bwain. There were others, I’m sure.

Badge:

You say “rubbing uranium hexaflouride into your eyes” like it’s a bad thing.

Of course, if you do it too long, you will go blind. Moderation, young man.

Some linguists, cunning,
Ken the place for everything.
Slot A, meet Tab B.

When I saw the picture, I thought that was part of the Muybridge series of animation stills. Were I a wealthy man I’d own that set.

Well, shoot…you can own the abridged versions Animals in Motion and People in Motion. No self-respecting illustrator would be without them.

The lady needs to shave her armpits. Ewwwww….

No self-respecting illustrator would be without them.

Other than the very poor ones.

I was desperately poor when I bought mine. God bless Dover Books, the student’s friend.

Have you checked their prices lately? They ain’t so friendly any more.

Ya know, I just read through this whole post. Here are a few quotes – just from this one post:

* “This is where I first heard about tentacle porn and used panty vending machines…”

* “That’s oral sex! It looks so wholesome.”

* “If I am ever challenged to properly stimulate a test-tube, I shall chuckle…”

* “…it’s been a combination of tiny-genitaled men, and submissive, scared-looking women…”

* “…or is it that the pleasure of the pumpin’ is in the floggin’ of the dragon?”

* “Ya can’t explore space with a short dick.”

* “It’s never to early for Short Dick Haiku.”

* “Of course, if you do it too long, you will go blind. Moderation, young man.”

* “The lady needs to shave her armpits.”

That’s just a few…

We are, indeed, a quotable bunch of ne’er-do-wells. I expect a check from Roget’s any day now.

True, jwp.

I’ll tell you what; I can think of worse things to be remembered by than for uttering the truism, “Ya can’t explore space with a short dick.”

It has snap, and pizazz. Like “The buck stops here.”, or “Nuts!”.

I’d vote for a President with that sign on his desk.

Ah, who am I kidding? My vote will always belong to Dennis.

For years, I had a sign on my desk that said,

“Be careful, or I’ll include you in my plans.”

Still have it – somewhere, packed.