Three old coots and a big hole
About three months ago, the old coot on the left, whose family owned Badger House once upon a time, met up with the old coot on the right, who lived in it during the war. You know, The War. They fell to talking, as coots are wont, and Coot #2 asked who was living up at the old Badger place and whether anybody had “found the machine gun.”
!
Seems Coot the Second, who was a teenager during the war, watched an American Dakota bomber go down in the field behind the house, then crept out and nicked one of its machine guns. He balanced the barrel against our back fence and popped a few rounds across the field, to make sure it was in good working order, then wrapped the whole business in an oilcloth bag and buried it beside the hedge.
I shit you not.
Given the heartbreak of Tulsarama, I wasn’t hopeful there would be anything left, but I’m damned if I’ll wantonly crush the dreams of old coots. So we invited them both ’round for tea and hole digging.
No, we didn’t find it. Not yet, anyway. My nice new metal detector was no use at all; the whole yard lights up like a Christmas tree when I ask it to find iron. That’s what four centuries of tossing stuff out the back will do. An experienced bloke with a bigger metal detector and awesome hole-digging skills is coming out next.
Still, we had merry tales of the old days. At the turn of the (Nineteenth to the Twentieth) Century, Badger House was so derelict the shepherds refused to stay in it. It was nearly knocked down, but somebody driving by spotted it and offered Coot #1’s dad £200 for it. By WWII, the house still had no electricity or indoor plumbing (the tall roof is to maximize collection of rainwater). It sounds as though it has stood empty and overgrown much of the time. We’ll have a lot of tightening up to do.
Coot #3 is, of course, Uncle B…who stands just off camera, shamed by the hole-digging prowess of Coot #2. And you would be, too, if an 81 year old coot KICKED YOUR ASS.
EDIT: Uncle B says the Dakota was a transport plane. The bomber that went down in the lower forty was a Boston. Also, he adds that he is wounded in the arm, so there!
Posted: January 2nd, 2008 under badger house, britain, history, personal, war.
Comments: 72
Comments
Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 2, 2008, 7:31 pm
I am indeed a wounded mustelid (tendonitis in the right front leg, in case anyone fancies getting up a collection) which does make digging painful work. Especially when you strike tree roots.
All the same, I admit it. Coot No 2 could dig for England. I was simultaneously shocked and awed.
We’d held-off The Great Dig until her Ladyship was here to supervise, which she did, huddled against the wall, looking cold, as the East wind roared in from Siberia.
Stoats… they talk a good game.
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 2, 2008, 7:39 pm
O RLY, B? I don’t suppose you want to pass along what old Farmer Coot told you about badgers, hmmm?
Farmer C is not fond of badgers, as most farmers are not. Seems they like milk, badgers. Not uncommon to find a ewe dead in the field, tipped on her back WITH HER UDDERS CHEWED OFF.
Ewwwwwwwww.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 2, 2008, 7:42 pm
Badger,
My uncle – about 18 years older’n me – can dig rings around me without breaking a sweat, the asshole.
Maybe we have that to look forward to? Maybe when we pass a certain age-mark, God bestows the “Gift of Dig” upon us, or sumpin?
He’s already bestowed the Gift of Wind upon me…
So…this was the 50-year vet that was bandied about earlier?
Now I understand the importance of disinterring it.
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 2, 2008, 7:45 pm
Ummmm…yes. The Gift of Wind. I say nothing.
Yes, that’s the vet of which I spook. I hope we find it, but I can’t imagine it held up any better than that rusty pile o’ car.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 2, 2008, 8:10 pm
Weaz – ya just never know how something like that’ll hold up after a fifty (sixty really) years. It might be really surprising.
Does your metal detector have a field-sensitivity (or gain) control on it? Try minimizing it.
Or…maybe the whole airplane is under the yard. That would explain the “broad stance” of whatever is under there.
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 2, 2008, 8:15 pm
Yes, I can turn down the sensitivity. Thing is, we don’t know how deep it is…they think soil was added to the whole garden at some point. The best plan is to dig narrow trenches perpendicular to the hedge, as he’s quite certain he buried it in parallel. That way, we’re trying to hit something several feet, rather than several inches, wide.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 2, 2008, 8:26 pm
Sounds like a plan.
I assume you know you may be dealing with a faded 80-year-old memory here? But it’ll be fun for sure, and hearing the stories would be grand!
He was there, Weaz! Imagine that!
Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 2, 2008, 8:56 pm
I must say, McGoo, he was sharp as a bag of razor blades and only too aware that the ways in which the garden and shape of the house have changed (it was extended in the 1970s) might have warped his memory.
Damn these old guys – as you say, they were there . One elderly lady I’ve befriended down here still goes out a prune fruit trees for a living and she’s in her 80s.
One day last summer, she told me how, as girl, she remembers standing in field, watching the sky turn black with bombers headed for Germany. Apparently she stood watching them for what felt like an hour.
Now, I thought that was hyperbole, until I asked my mother, who has similar memories.
I simply cannot express the respect I have for people who lived through that time without going completely mad.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 2, 2008, 9:18 pm
You express my own feelings exactly, Uncle B.
BTW: didn’t mean to imply anything about the man’s memory. We both know – things change. They move. And – sometimes – memories do indeed fade.
I’ve read a good number of books about Great Britain, the Battle Of/For Britain, and WWII in general and the stunning toughness of the British people stands out in every one. That’s why I am in such awe when I meet a WWII vet, or even a civilian. They were there.
…And I have learned for sure that – if you were in the right place at the right time – the skies were literally black with bombers, and spotters, and escorts. Look at some of the numbers for some of the raids. The number of planes is unbelievable.
Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 2, 2008, 9:32 pm
It’s entirely mutual, McGoo (both personally and nationally). When the Stoat and I go driving around Kent, we’re forever spotting sad little shrines by the roadside, where a stars and stripes flutters over a small plaque marking the spot where some poor bastards from heaven only knows where in the USA just didn’t quite make it home.
I cannot tell you how violent that makes me feel towards the Leftist scum that run the BBC, who, nightly, attempt to poison the relationship between our two countries.
Had it not been for the staggering bravery of people like the poor farm boys from Iowa who were taught to (just about) fly B-17s, or the former mill-hands from Lancashire, barely navigating Wellingtons, and who gave their lives to save everyone else’s arses, those urbane BBC Lefties would be broadcasting in German.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 2, 2008, 9:51 pm
Well, if the pair of old gentlemen come back, offer them a toast of appreciation from a knowing youngster over here in the USA.
Stoaty, I hope you find a gun! That’ll be friggin’ neat!
Comment from Dawn
Time: January 2, 2008, 11:07 pm
I got chills reading this post. Those guys would be cool to know.
Comment from Dawn
Time: January 2, 2008, 11:10 pm
Well I guess I really meant goosebumps. Makes me proud of America.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 3, 2008, 12:16 am
All this talk of the Badger Estate made me look at the photos again.
The photo of the window with the panther or leopard on the sill: are those distorted glass panes in the window “roundel” glass? I think the spelling is right but am not sure.
Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: January 3, 2008, 4:05 am
In my village (near York) we’ve got a Canadian and Polish cemetary and a Canadian war memorial for airmen, both of which are tended lovingly to this day. I guess the British and Americans weren’t stationed around here. Either that or they were so shit-hot that they suffered no losses.
All of the fields around here have got at least one small, tree-surrounded pond in them, which look innocent and pretty enough, but are actually old bomb craters. And Dad taught me to drive at the age of 14 on one of the airfields, which these days are owned by pig farmers and overgrown, but at one time saw very young men off with a sizable chance that they’d die horribly over some German ruin of a city or the North Sea.
I hope you guys (Weasel, Badger, Coots numbers One and Two) all signed an agreement not to tell The Government in any of its pervasive forms about this. A heavy, large-calibre machine gun – of American origin to boot – is liable to get you put away for a long time on some sort of hate crime charge or something.
Truly these are weird times.
Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: January 3, 2008, 4:21 am
Goddamn – it’s fucking snowing. Eat shit Enviro-weenies! Weee!
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 3, 2008, 8:13 am
Gibby –
They’re worried about snow now – in Daytona Beach, Florida.
Not only are the Lib-Enviro-Weenies usually wrong – they are usually spectacularly wrong. This is what happens when you throw objective reality out the door in favor of “feelings”.
Comment from Dawn
Time: January 3, 2008, 11:19 am
Objective reality is whatever remains true whether you believe in it or not.
I heart objective reality.
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 3, 2008, 11:25 am
It snew a little here; it was but a memory by the time we rolled out of hibernation this morning.
Those are indeed roundels of glass, McGoo. It’s a nice touch, considering the windows are all 20th C. Maybe even as late as the ’70s, when an awful lot of the structural work was done. Never again, of course — it’s Grade II listed now and strictly hands off.
We looked it up. There was one day in 1986 when a BUNCH of stuff in the area was suddenly listed. I can’t help thinking some government dude drove around eyeballing houses one day.
There’s an odd shift happening. People my age and a couple of decades older, EVERYBODY’s dad was in the war. Mine caught the very tail end of WWII. My oldest brother got drafted right at the end of Vietnam. I mean absolutely no disrespect to the fucking amazing professional military we have today…but I find the attitude of younger people to the military puzzling. Does anyone know what I’m saying?
Comment from jwpaine
Time: January 3, 2008, 12:58 pm
I’m not aware of the attitude of younger people in the military, Weez. What is it?
I remember that in the Navy (stands for Never Again Volunteer Yourself) we all bitched and groused and badmouthed everyone from the division officer to the President, but when it came time to do our jobs, we did them, and took pride in our work.
Is it really different now?
Comment from Dawn
Time: January 3, 2008, 1:08 pm
She said younger people’s attitude TO the military.
I think love of country and honor has to be taught in childhood.
Everyone my age (33) has a dad that was drafted to Nam or went to Berkeley.
My Texas father was not drafted – he left college and enlisted along with my uncles, all three of them served in the Army together.
Comment from Dawn
Time: January 3, 2008, 1:21 pm
Hey sweasel. Are you following the Iowa caucus? It’s all anyone is talking about here.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 3, 2008, 2:12 pm
Thanks, Stoaty! I suspected that the glass was roundel but was not sure. Neat stuff.
{Its my understanding that roundel was originally (centuries ago) considered “cheap” or “budget” glass, but is now (and even in the 70’s) considered primo antique. Your remodelers probably were replacing roundels that were already there.}
I looked up grade II and hit the mother lode on Wiki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Listed_building
That would make me uncomfortable – someone having serious authority over my home.
Who knows: If you find that hedge “vet”, you may have to leave it. ‘Course putting it back into operational status would be fun.
Dawn – I’m following the Iowa thing. Fred is giving Mitt a serious run for second against Huckleberry.
And – *aaaahhhh!!!* – Hillary is running 3rd!
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 3, 2008, 2:15 pm
Oh. Yeah – and RE Dawn:
“I think love of country and honor has to be taught in childhood.”
Yes – absolutely. Some parents today were remiss, IMHO. They should be spanked. There should be a non-patriot tax or surcharge.
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 3, 2008, 2:33 pm
Yep, I have an eye on Iowa. You wouldn’t believe how much news here is about the US. There’s nothing like trying to explain your system of government to a foreigner to point up all the stuff you suddenly realize you don’t understand. Like the difference between a caucus and a primary.
And I didn’t explain myself well, JW. I mean *to* the military as Dawn said…and I meant…ummm…back when everybody had a dad or grandad or brother who had been in the service, it was understood that military men ranged from mind-blowing heroes to…well, my brother. Now that service is entirely voluntary and more of a career than an interruption in your career, it’s like people think of soldiers as highly competent but interchangeable…milbots.
I’m still not explaining myself well. And maybe I’m misunderstanding the modern military some, too.
Comment from quark2
Time: January 3, 2008, 2:42 pm
Kent, where my mother was born. She was raised in
Hayes, Middlesex. Watched the burning and bombing of
London from her bedroom window in Clapham after being
moved from Hayes by her parents. She and her younger
sister. At age 16 she worked as a secretary for the
War Department. That’s where she met my father. He
was on a London street, very very drunk.
Stoaty, you would have loved my grandmum, her mum.
what a hoot, and what a grand cook.
Comment from Dawn
Time: January 3, 2008, 2:49 pm
I just watched Huckabee on Leno – you can watch it at NBC.com. He comes on at 18 minutes into the show. You can fast forward it without having to watch all the other crap, however the jib jab is pretty funny. Huckabee was good. They showed a clip of his first interview with Leno way back when.
Comment from porknbean
Time: January 3, 2008, 4:08 pm
Huckabee may have sounded good – a populist – but where’s the substance? The more I listen to him and learn up on his record, the more I think he should be running for the other side.
Comment from porknbean
Time: January 3, 2008, 4:12 pm
Old coots are tough old birds. My in-laws can work me and their son into whiney wimpdom. That generation of had-to-be-toughness built what we take for granted.
Too many these days do not know what hard work is and prefer to give that responsibility over to the all-too-willing marxists.
Comment from porknbean
Time: January 3, 2008, 4:28 pm
There’s nothing like trying to explain your system of government to a foreigner to point up all the stuff you suddenly realize you don’t understand. Like the difference between a caucus and a primary.
Eh…what is the difference? If the caucus is not like a primary then WTF are they doing it? Will it supposedly set the tone for the primaries?
Bahh…the whole empty ass-kissing scene disgusts me.
Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: January 3, 2008, 6:09 pm
How come none of you like McCain? The amnesty for illegals thing? And gun control? Those may be a big things, but what about all of his positives? The guy’s a war hero, he’s got a solid – apart from the things I just mentioned – conservative record, and he stuck to the ‘name, rank and serial number’ line despite the NVA breaking most of the bones in his body repeatedly. I watched video him giving a speech the other day and when he promised to kill bin Laden, I beleived him. I think he meant he’d use the US armed forces to do it, but I bet given the right circumstances, he’d do it himself or die trying. Man, I’d pay good money to see video of McCain smacking bin Laden around.
I tell you, if we had someone with 10% of the backbone of that guy here, I’d vote for him in an instant. In fact, he was a guest speaker at the last Conservatives conference. I bet he thought he’d been invited to the wrong event. ‘Oh, this is your party logo?’
‘Uh-huh.’
‘What is it, a tree?’
‘Yeah, a tree.’
‘I see…’
I think it’s a sad state of affairs when I am more buoyed up by the American political process than I am my own.
Comment from Muslihoon
Time: January 3, 2008, 6:52 pm
I think it’s a sad state of affairs when I am more buoyed up by the American political process than I am my own.
Didn’t you people invent the art of revolution and rebellion (see: Glorious Revolution, First Barons’ War, et cetera) without the excesses found elsewhere? (Whom else, for that matter, did the American colonials learn how to rebel/revolt in such a relatively civilized manner?) Just sayin’.
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 3, 2008, 7:16 pm
Quark2! It’s good to see a new face. Uncle B’s mum was a young woman during the Blitz. And her dad — who died last year or the year before, days before his 101st birthday — remembers seeing zeppelins float over London in the Great War. I love to hear the stories.
McCain is the journalists’ favorite Republican, Gibby, so you probably haven’t seen anything like the full list of his sins against the Right. He’s a maverick, you know. “Maverick” means “a guy who loves to stick his thumb in the eye of the conservative base at the worst possible moment.”
In addition to gun control and illegal amnesty (HUGE issues to the base), he was the only Republican member of the Keating Five (a serious corruption scandal of the eighties), the Republican half of McCain/Feingold (a disaster of a law that purports to control corruption in campaign finance) and one of the Gang of 14 — a parliamentary maneuver by a group of squishy RINO’s.
He’s a loose cannon with an explosive temper (occasionally caught on tape); a man whose contrarian instincts frequently trump his good sense. I, personally, believe him to be batshit insane.
He probably got batshit insane as a result of his incarceration as a prisoner of war — and, for that, I owe him boundless gratitude. But I don’t owe him the presidency. I won’t vote for him; I’d rather see President Hillary. I’m srsly.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 3, 2008, 8:32 pm
Hi, quark2 –
(What flavor are you?)(That didn’t come out right.)
I was wonderin’ how to sum up McCain’s quirkiness. Lady Weasel did it well, and succinctly. He’s unacceptable to (I believe) most R’s for the behaviors and positions mentioned.
I wouldn’t want a man with his temper in charge of the nuke switch.
Comment from porknbean
Time: January 3, 2008, 8:56 pm
McCain should be running for the other side too. He sides with them most of the time.
And good God weasel, I would still hold my nose and vote for McCain over that Stalinist bitch Clinton.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 3, 2008, 8:59 pm
PnB – Reluctantly – I have to agree with you. McCain worries me, but Hillary scares the poo out of me.
If we’re lucky, we won’t have to contend with either one.
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 3, 2008, 9:17 pm
Well, she scares me juiceless on domestic issues. But foreign policy? Stone cold bitch. If she thought Iran needed bombing, she’d order it without turning a hair. You think of all the unilateral, not-sanction-by-the-UN stuff Bill got up to…then tell me you don’t think Hill is twice the man he is.
I think McCain is literally unstable. That’s not the usual “get help” internet jibe. He’s not all there. And he sucks up to the press (read: left) in a frightening and apparently compulsive way.
I’m not the first to notice that Republicans grow spines when Democrats are in power. There are worse fates than not having a clean sweep (sadly).
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 3, 2008, 9:28 pm
I agree with you to a point Stoaty – but only so far.
Yeah – if someone was messing with the US (like Iran) and push came to shove, Hillary would nuke ’em quicker’n Quark2 can change flavors.
But I think otherwise – in normal circumstances – she’ll be all lovey-dovey appeasement and butt-kissy and bend over and take it up … well, harrumph!
And you are right – there are worse things than losing this one. R’s do seem to work better from a position of weakness.
I think its because underneath that idiotic (D) shell, lots of (D) politicians know the D ideas are basically crazy and need to be voted down. So they “allow” the R’s to subtly control – just not wear the crown.
Comment from porknbean
Time: January 3, 2008, 10:00 pm
But I think otherwise – in normal circumstances – she’ll be all lovey-dovey appeasement and butt-kissy and bend over and take it up … well, harrumph!
She will do just as Bill did foreign policy-wise…ignore repeated attacks so long as arab money flows into her coffers. Just listen to her replies to foreign policy questions…she is incurious, ignorant, and really doesn’t give a rat’s ass…because her real goal, her real enemy, is here at home. And by God she will beat the fuck out of us homophobic, capitalistic, rednecks, if it is the last thing she does. Not to mention stealing the profits from businesses as she promised. You will bow to her almightiness as government, her, knows best.
It is disgusting how fat and lazy ‘the people’ have become to just hand their liberties over to empty promises.
Comment from jwpaine
Time: January 3, 2008, 10:33 pm
Naw, Weez, it was my poor reading comprehension. In any case, I wasn’t challenging your observation, but rather, expressing honest ignorance. Now, as far as young people’s attitude TO the military, I don’t know that it’s any worse than it was when I was a teen (in the ’60s). It was cool in some circles to badmouth the baby-killers; it’s my guess that hasn’t changed. Empty-headed zeroes are ever ready to join a gaggle of like-minded buffoons.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 3, 2008, 10:44 pm
What? Did I scare off Quark 2?
Wait!
I was gonna make espresso!
Comment from jwpaine
Time: January 3, 2008, 11:04 pm
that’s the best line in that movie, Steam.
And porknbean: In a primary, you vote. Same in a caucus, but you also bring a covered dish.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 3, 2008, 11:34 pm
jw!
I’d read that Gene Hackman actually ad-libbed that line, and they liked it enough to keep it.
Caucus: Looks (for the moment) like its Obama/Edwards/Hillary and Huckleberry/Mitt/Thompson.
But the cycle is young – and Iowa is fairly meaningless anyway. We have about 10 more months of this shit.
I may go into suspended animation for a while. Or I could commit a heinous crime and go on the lam? Naaah. Going on the lam is a Spring or Fall sport. Too cold now.
Comment from jwpaine
Time: January 3, 2008, 11:44 pm
Aw, come on! Huddling with one’s back to the wind and snow while keeping an eye out for The Fuzz is one of life’s truly underrated pleasures.
Comment from jwpaine
Time: January 3, 2008, 11:45 pm
…and I hadn’t heard that Hackman ad-libbed that line. It was truly a great exit line, regardless of who thought it up.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 3, 2008, 11:52 pm
Yep – if you can trust Internet movie Database.
Here – about 2/3 of the way down:
Comment from porknbean
Time: January 3, 2008, 11:52 pm
Aw, come on! Huddling with one’s back to the wind and snow while keeping an eye out for The Fuzz is one of life’s truly underrated pleasures.
Just watch out for hungry badgers, I hear they like to munch on udders. What? You is a manly sort…watch out for yer bits, it might mistake them for udders.
Comment from jwpaine
Time: January 3, 2008, 11:55 pm
Anyone mistaking my bits for udders is using the binoculars backwards.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 4, 2008, 12:13 am
I did suffer a local anticipatory wince when I read about badgers deplorable habits.
(the critters – not the English Gentleman of Some Note That We All Know And Respect)
Comment from porknbean
Time: January 4, 2008, 12:22 am
I winced too McGoo. While I never had the displeasure of getting my udders chewed off, I did have them bitten by my nursing rugrats, once upon a time. Only a mother would resist the urge to fling the newly toothed boogers across the room.
There is a reason why God made them so cute.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 4, 2008, 12:29 am
Oh, hell yes. God made ’em cute to keep us adults from killing and eating them. It’s programmed into us.
Comment from jwpaine
Time: January 4, 2008, 12:36 am
I thought that was why everybody liked babies: They’re delicious!
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 4, 2008, 12:45 am
Naaa. You’ve just gotten over your primitive instincts.
Chow-down, dude!
Comment from porknbean
Time: January 4, 2008, 3:06 am
mmmmm…..baby toes and baby bellies and sweet baby skin softness
Them were good tasty times.
Comment from porknbean
Time: January 4, 2008, 3:19 am
Ha. I was telling the porkspawn the other day how cute they were as piglets, from the tops of their fuzzy large heads to the tips of their tiny little toes and how tasty them toes were. Well, the darling unsocked her big ‘ok clunky feet, laid them in my lap, wiggled her hairy toes at me and said, “here ya go mama, all you had to do was ask.” Smart aleck. Back then they didn’t resemble a hobbit.
Comment from quark2
Time: January 4, 2008, 11:52 am
Hay ya! Not scared off, just living my other life. 🙂
How’d you know, McGoo about the otherness of quarkies?
I’ve been reading Stoaty for a ver’ long time.
In some ways I’m envious she’s living a long time dream of
mine, living on the Greater Emerald Isle. But I can’t live
without my guns. Sigh
PS Mostly I stay in the strangness sector of quarks.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 4, 2008, 12:08 pm
I am really glad you decided to speak up, quark 2.
IMHO you are now the Top Quark.
I – on the other hand – am not known for my Charm. Is there an “Asshole” quark? That one’s mine.
Guns are a really good thing. He who dies with the most guns – wins. I’m not sure I could be permanently separated from my arsenal – although it is 900 miles away right now.
But I’d surely give them up temporarily to live the Stoaty dream.
Imagine: Very soon now, Weasel will go into work, moon her boss and any passersbys that happen to be present, blow a mighty, juicy raspberry at the company in general, flip them all the Finger (British-three-finger-style, of course), and walk out with dignity.
She will then commandeer a non-stop flight directly to U.K. Badger Airspace and parachute down into his brawny-but-shovel-challenged arms.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 4, 2008, 12:57 pm
Clarification: I don’t want to jump into Badgers arms – shovel-challenged or no.
But I’ll gladly descend into the loving embrace of some nice beefy English Lady of Interesting Repute – preferably one who is NOT shovel-challenged and who can cook a decent Shepherds Pie and Roast Beef w/Yorkshire pudding. For that – fuck the guns.
Comment from porknbean
Time: January 4, 2008, 1:48 pm
Speaking of guns, what will Weasel do with her snubby when she moves?
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 4, 2008, 2:02 pm
Oh, Uncle B does a very decent shepherds’ (technically a “cottage pie” because his is made with beef, not lamb) and a splendid roast boeuf and yorkshires (which we’re having tomorow night).
Sadly, the process of disentangling myself from the old life is not as elegant as merely waggling my naked ass in management’s face and flouncing off. There’s…paperwork.
Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 4, 2008, 2:03 pm
Oh…the guns. Selling the silly ones, leaving my two favorites with a friend. I’ll never be back, but I can’t bear to sell my snubby.
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 4, 2008, 4:53 pm
Oh, Weasel, I bet if you did as I’ve suggested they’d shorten the paperwork chain down considerably. ‘Course your bennies and insurance, pension, retirement, profit-sharing, etc might suffer a bit.
But think of the legend you’d leave behind you? Small price to pay for infamy….
Comment from porknbean
Time: January 4, 2008, 6:55 pm
I’ll never be back, but I can’t bear to sell my snubby.
Bah…So does that mean, the stuffs you take with you or have shipped, gets pawed through piece by piece? You can’t work sculpting clay over it and call it a vase?
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 4, 2008, 7:14 pm
PnB – if they caught her they’d boot her primly covered derrière back here to the States – permanently – quicker’n you can say, “Uh-oh!”. That’s if she isn’t incarcerated for a few years first.
Personally, I wouldn’t risk it.
Yes I would. I’d rather be arrested than be dead because my trigger finger was naked. I am not going to die for lack of the ability to shoot back.
But I wouldn’t admit it, or even discuss it.
Comment from jwpaine
Time: January 4, 2008, 9:01 pm
…and that’s (almost) another great movie line. I believe the actual words were “I just don’t want to be killed for lack of shootin’ back.”
Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: January 4, 2008, 9:10 pm
jw- you’re good.
That would be from the movie Unforgiven”, and is uttered by the one-armed guy with two pistols. He was a very wise gentleman, if you want my opinion.
…and it was that line I was thinking of when I wrote the comment.
Comment from jwpaine
Time: January 4, 2008, 9:19 pm
That’s my favorite line in Unforgiven. I’d now quote my favorite line from Tombstone, but I have about 30 favorites from that one.
Pingback from S. Weasel
Time: February 6, 2008, 6:19 pm
[…] Literally. He was planting the hedges, and he excavated this small, heavy, useless chunk of metal. Yes, minions, I’m afraid this thing is what’s left of our machine gun. Can’t think what else it can be. […]
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Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.<< carry me back to ol' virginny