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The Singing Cowboy

The Democrats must cringe every time Harry Reid opens his gob. As usual, Michael Ramirez was a day ahead of me and had a better punchline. Dude is my hero.

By the way, I know there are peculiar liabilities to every job, but how many of you have ever thought to yourself, “I’m drawing Harry Reid’s crotch right now”? Yeah, that’s why I gave him a gun.

Oh! And I talked to my chicken pusher this morning. He hasn’t hatched any Pekin Bantams this year on account of it’s been too cold. He’s got some in the incubator now, should be out in a week. I want them about six weeks old (so I don’t have to faff with heat lamps), so we’re probably talking early April.

And having read everywhere that chickens love cabbages — we have kzillions of cabbages that need uprooting before the Spring planting — Uncle B and I chased chickens all around the garden with cabbage today. I think it’s fair to say, they are fucking terrified of cabbage. And completely uninterested, even when it’s torn into little chicken-beak-sized bits.

But it did bring up an interesting question: do chickens fart? The answer is no. Probably.

Good weekend, everyone!


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 11, 2011, 7:42 pm

When I was little, I thought the words, “seldom is heard a discouraging word” meant that people thought the word “seldom” itself was just really, really discouraging.

And I thought about it and decided — yes, it is. I avoided the word “seldom” for that reason.

True story. True, boring story.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 11, 2011, 8:31 pm

Huh. They’re scanning Stonehenge in hi def.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 11, 2011, 10:13 pm

Stoatie.. I found out that chickens will go absolutely ape-shit crazy for bits of fried chicken…….

cannabalism certainly isn’t a taboo in avian society…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 11, 2011, 10:30 pm

Hoo, ya! Chickens LOVE chicken. Whenever I put any on the heap, they’re all or it. I try to shoo them off it for fear they’ll get kuru or mad cow or something.

Knocking off — funny blog about unauthorized product knock-offs.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 11, 2011, 11:30 pm

oh, btw… I posted a message for someone to contact Atossa and to ask him to be more interesting next time.

a GOOD troll can be quite interesting. Maybe he can improve his game a bit….. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 12, 2011, 12:06 am

I dunno, Scoob. Is it really trolling if you ask for the troll?

It’s like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes…kinda fake bad.

Comment from Armybrat
Time: March 12, 2011, 12:52 am

Well, cats sure as hell do fart. The one snoring on my lap is pretty rank.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 12, 2011, 1:05 am

Not to worry, the sugestion will just piss him off….


Atossa is a legend in his own mind, and can’t take critiscizm worth a damn…..

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 12, 2011, 1:51 am

When Charlotte was a babe, she had splendid farts. She was a three-quarter starved feral, and I stuffed food into her as fast as I could. The richer the better.

Her farts were audible, and something like diesel fuel, corn chips and methane.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 12, 2011, 1:54 am

Wanna walk on the wild side, Stoatie? Feed her Sardines in Mustard sauce….

Long ago, my cat, Kitteh Coon (so named for her habit of scaring the shit out of plumbers working under the house) had enjoyed such a snack. I was cleaning the fireplace when someone brapped a tuba right behind me. I turned around, and saw that it was the cat.

I swear, her flatulance that night made Iraqi Mustard gas seem like the scent of rosewater. I had to flee the room gagging and trying not to toss my cookies…

Comment from Armybrat
Time: March 12, 2011, 3:42 am

Scubafreak, I used to wonder why the princess burried her nose in the corner- it was so sweet to watch her paw that corner to mush, or lie there with a paw over her nose. Then she got older and less “delicate.”. Damn thing is on a special bladder formula diet and is just plain foul. Makes the husband all kinds of jealous. And y’all wondered why I drink!

Comment from JeffS
Time: March 12, 2011, 3:45 am

Yeah, thatโ€™s why I gave him a gun.

Ummmmmmm, Stoatie, you do realize that “gun” has a very specific meaning to veterans and other persons familiar with firearms?

So if you didn’t want to draw Reid’s crotch (a choice that I *FULLY* endorse), you should have given him a pistol.

/pedantic mode. ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment from Lipstick
Time: March 12, 2011, 5:32 am

When my ferrets sneeze, they fart at the same time. They snart. It’s hilarious.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: March 12, 2011, 1:03 pm

Problem is, JeffS, on the “inadvertently suggestive imagery” scale, “pistol” is not actually any less dangerous than “gun.” In fact, firearms in general. . .

It is possible that “holster and gunbelt” would work, and it is actually the gunbelt that obviates the need to draw that particular area.

This is all assuming, of course, that the suggestion was in fact inadvertent rather than intentional. Stoaty can be a very subtle writer.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 12, 2011, 2:59 pm

I did have a little rogue moment when I considered placing his weapon in front of his weapon, but I know from life drawing classes of yore…the moment you put something in the crotchal area, it’s the only thing in the picture anyone looks at.

Comment from JeffS
Time: March 12, 2011, 6:30 pm

True enough, can’t hark, on all points. As Stoatie Herself demonstrates above. ๐Ÿ™‚

And I must say, a thread that puts weapons, guns, dissing that cretin Harry Reid, and animal farts all together makes my entire weekend!

Comment from David Bain
Time: March 12, 2011, 7:50 pm

Our ducks won’t eat cabbage but would sell their souls for lettuce. The chickens will eat cabbage if that’s all there is but won’t touch carrots even if there’s nothing else.

. . . and that is the end of “Farming Today” . . .

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: March 12, 2011, 8:40 pm

Well maybe y’all ought to invest in some of these:

Comment from Ric Locke
Time: March 12, 2011, 11:51 pm

OT: Stoaty, you have a competitor somewhere.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 12, 2011, 11:59 pm

Yeah. I LOL’ed. I am helpless before the fart joke.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 13, 2011, 2:10 am

Oh, that’s nicely done, Ric Locke. Lumme some good P’shop.

The web is full of clever but bad P’shop.

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: March 14, 2011, 4:44 pm

Um, Stoatie? Wouldn’t that be more like early May? April is most definitely less than six weeks away.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 14, 2011, 10:50 pm

Oh, and I don’t know if Chickens FART, but I do know that sexing them at the hatchery is a nasty job… ๐Ÿ™‚


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