web analytics

Know Your Mustelid!

Honestly, some people couldn’t tell a marten from a weasel if you hit them in the face with one.

HOQUIAM, Wash. – Police say a man was carrying a dead weasel when he burst into an apartment and assaulted a man in Washington state.

The victim asked, “Why are you carrying a weasel?” Police said the attacker answered, “It’s not a weasel, it’s a marten,” then punched him in the nose and fled.

And with the news that Mrs Weiner is pregnant, the Weinergate scandal is officially No Longer Fun for me.

Oh, not because I have a soft spot for motherhood (the failure to reproduce myself is my gift to the gene pool. You’re welcome).

It’s because — for people as ambitious and calculating as I take the Weiners to be — the suddenness and enormity of what just happened to Huma Abedin is…staggering. It makes cold sweat bead along my hairline, empathetically.

FAR harder to endure than if she’d married him for love (I cynically assume she didn’t).

Of course, I always had a sneaking sympathy for Lady MacBeth, too.


Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: June 8, 2011, 11:30 pm

Jimmy Page, Prison Blues…
“I got a Marten in my pocket”. (Totally doesn’t work.)

For certain applications, there’s Martens. For everything else, there’s WeaselCard.

Dear Gods Almighty, I need a Guinness. Right. Off to get that.

Comment from Mono The Elderish
Time: June 8, 2011, 11:32 pm

this year seems to have been really good for the whole “Weird Shit that never, ever, happens” thing….

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: June 8, 2011, 11:35 pm

What a week.

Comment from porknbeasn
Time: June 8, 2011, 11:37 pm

When I heard of the rumor…I was instantly disappointed for the growing kiddie.

Huma has worked for the beast and was there throughout the clenis, dicking around. The creep she married had creep written all over him and flaming out his fat mouth. She knew exactly what she was getting…a political marriage between the US and the ummah.

Call me cynical.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 8, 2011, 11:49 pm

Oh, you can just feel the rotten Hand of Hillary: “marry a rising political star, squeeze out the requisite kid…it’ll save awkward questions later on.”


Comment from Mark Matis
Time: June 9, 2011, 12:16 am

Of course, the NEXT question is whether it really is the Weiner’s kid. Or is it a product of Hillary with a baster? Not that there are any rumors about that or anything. And of course, ANY rumors would be categorically false, because that’s just NOT the kind of people they are…

Comment from EZnSF
Time: June 9, 2011, 12:22 am

They all rowed the same boat.
Pardon me while I cry crocodile tears as it sinks.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: June 9, 2011, 12:34 am

OK. So now, Weiner got a Huma, and (supposedly) has a bun in the oven, but couldn’t keep the package on and is now in hot water because of some BAD advertising of the product……

This is:

A) A hollywood Comedy
B) A Greek Tragedy
C) A Comic Tragedy
D) The Normal Weekly Democrat Follies

I’m not even conviced that there IS a kid in the works here, because it would ABSOLUTELY be par for the course for Weiner to CLAIM that there is a kid, but then Huma tragically “LOOSES” the baby because of all the stress being applied by dem “EVYL REPUBLIGATES”, who didn’t drop the issue from the get-go…..

Needless to say that it’s time to take EVERYTHING about this with a grain of salt…..

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: June 9, 2011, 1:51 am

Now here is a proper weasel: http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=American+Badger&go=&form=QBIR

Comment from Armybrat
Time: June 9, 2011, 1:55 am

Mark Matis and I are channeling the same gossip. Huma is supposedly hillary’s long time girlfriend. Her marriage to wiener is rumored to be just a cover For hillary’s playtime. I find it stunning that she is all the sudden with child. I’m betting Bill, with a turkey baster, with shillary watching. And if that doesn’t make you want to toss your cookies…..

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: June 9, 2011, 1:57 am

What could be more lovable and cuddley that a mustelid?

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: June 9, 2011, 2:14 am

Scott: Here’s a NOT so proper Weasel….. 😉


Comment from Mark Matis
Time: June 9, 2011, 2:16 am

For Armybrat:
Slick wouldn’t have a clue about how to use a baster, especiallly THERE. He always works the OTHER end…

Comment from ooGcM taobmaetS
Time: June 9, 2011, 3:18 am

I think everyone who doesn’t know the difference between a Marten and a weasel should – at least once in their life – be punched in the face by a man who then flees.

It will teach them an important lesson. But I’m not sure which one.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: June 9, 2011, 3:19 am

A Clinton’s girlfriend pregnant? Have a cigar! Oh, er, ah, sorry. Anyhow she decided to marry a loser, but now she’s Wiener!

And the child, whether Wiener’s or not is definitely going to be a right little baster’d.

Oh dear, I just don’t seem to be able to hit the right tone here…

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: June 9, 2011, 3:59 am

Scuba, so the Man Who Puts Weasels Down His Pants mentioned in Terry Pratchett’s books actually exsists!

Comment from J Foster
Time: June 9, 2011, 11:01 am

To further muddy the waters, and for karma’s sake, the assailant should now have a live fisher shoved down his pants.


Comment from steve
Time: June 9, 2011, 12:29 pm

Heard around the Abedin family compound:

“I told you not to have anything to do with that indfidel! Didn’t I? Didn’t I?????”

Comment from Deborah
Time: June 9, 2011, 3:26 pm

Well clearly, the weasel is the more charming mustelid. That marten is fox-faced.

Comment from surly ermine
Time: June 9, 2011, 4:08 pm

Mustelid ignorance abounds even in my own family. My aunt (not Auntie) argued with me once that an ermine was somehow different from a weasel. Highly educated woman mind you…just not in the mammalian taxonomy sense. Weasels and their kin exist on the foggy edges of common knowledge methinks.

and yes, I so wanted to punch her in the face.

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: June 9, 2011, 4:28 pm

For steve:
For what it’s worth, there are rumors that Li’l Anthony is NOT an infidel, but instead converted to the Religion of Peace before the marriage…

Comment from steve
Time: June 9, 2011, 4:54 pm

@ Mark:
Somehow I believe that THAT tidbit might be a bit harder to digest in 9th Congressional District than whether or not Congress Member Wiener has been flooding Al Gore’s interweb with pictures of his….err….Homo Erectus…..

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: June 9, 2011, 7:36 pm

For steve:
Who says the voters in the 9th Congressional District need to know? After all, what evidence is there that the Weiners and their enablers are not enthusiastic practitioners of taqiyya, regardless of whether or not they are members of the Religion of Peace? Your mileage may vary, but one of many links is here:

Comment from JuliaM
Time: June 10, 2011, 7:03 am

Weasels, martens….they’re just small arms.

When you really, absolutely, gotta kill everyone in the car, you need a bear.

Oh, and another car, but that’s by-the-by…

Comment from Sporadic Small Arms Fire
Time: June 10, 2011, 8:13 pm

It was a mink. worthless journolists, tomorrow it will morph into mongoose.


Comment from drew458
Time: June 10, 2011, 9:48 pm

Oh the martens and McCoys
They were restless mountain boys
And they always got to feudin’ when they met
They could shoot each other quicker
Than it took an eye to flicker
And they carried dead Mustelids with them as their pets

Comment from 1389AD
Time: June 10, 2011, 10:49 pm

Have you visited Blogmocracy on Ferret Friday?

Comment from 1389AD
Time: June 10, 2011, 10:52 pm

Rush Limbaugh did a comic riff on whether Hillary is the father of Huma’s baby!

Comment from Lipstick
Time: June 11, 2011, 12:45 am

I’m not even conviced that there IS a kid in the works here, because it would ABSOLUTELY be par for the course for Weiner to CLAIM that there is a kid, but then Huma tragically “LOOSES” the baby because of all the stress being applied by dem “EVYL REPUBLIGATES”, who didn’t drop the issue from the get-go…..

Ditto. Someone elsewhere commented that this is what Bill and Hillary did during or right after the Lewinsky scandal — they put out word that they were thinking about adopting a child.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: June 11, 2011, 7:32 am

Stop with the conspiracy theories. It makes us all look silly. Default assumption: she’s straight, she’s got her husband’s bun in the oven, end of. And she’s the victim here, although what she saw in that cod-eyed shitbag in the first place is an utter mystery.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 11, 2011, 10:46 am

Rumors about Huma and Hillary are old, old, old. First I heard of her was in that context, in fact.

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: June 12, 2011, 10:55 am

JuliaM, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkx68UdcPA0 Badgers never use small arms

Comment from Sheryl
Time: July 16, 2014, 12:30 pm

While Pegatron says it is investigated to determine the
best provider at adequate timings and all situations.
For instance, a plumber becomes extremely active and has lots
of attention and care for it to them. The main things you should reconsider
you choice. The world school bus now is for all systems including closed circuit television; fiber optics; wireless networks.
Decide on the market, there are some important things in the contract, and most importantly, gain professional freedom.

Comment from how to do search engine optimization
Time: September 20, 2014, 2:11 pm

True, a search engine optimization Flash intro page.
If your content material and adding a brand and ruin any
long-term relationship.

Comment from how to learn search engine optimization
Time: September 21, 2014, 5:31 am

If a web designer that offers websites that seo are implemented by other people
who share the company growth. This training can now study via self-contained CD or DVD ROM’s.
This is not what it means is, about the feedback of
your logo is not only mean that they are doing more projects
with complete customer satisfaction is kept in mind what your
site. Evidently this kind of presence in the country.

Comment from seo experts
Time: October 7, 2014, 2:41 am

What is our collaborative search engine optimization approach as if
the content and weave relevant affiliate links into sub-menus.

Write a comment

(as if I cared)

(yeah. I'm going to write)

(oooo! you have a website?)

Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.

<< carry me back to ol' virginny