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Don’t mess with Number One Chicken

Lucia was always…the boring chicken. Pecked stuff. Made quiet clucking noises. Kept out of the way.

Then she started laying eggs and became a whole ‘nother bird. Still a steady, quiet chook (and a reliable five-eggs-a-week layer), but she is — no doubt about it — Boss Chicken.

First thing in the morning, everybody gets one good peck (just to remind the flock who’s boss), and then it’s happy family for the rest of the day. (Except Mapp. Clearly fed up with this broody bullshit, Lucia gets a big beakful of Mapp’s neckfeathers and tugs until the poor crazy bird runs ’round and ’round in circles shrieking).

Uncle B tried to shoo Lucia off the vegetable patch the other day, and she reared up to full height and stood him down. Like, “young man, do you know who I am?”

She has one vice: a fascination with sneaking in the kitchen door. We’ve never scolded her for it, but she’s quite furtive. We have to watch ourselves in the morning, as we are apt to find her unexpectedly underfoot.

I suspect my crap housekeeping is to blame; all those delicious bits of cheese and potato chips, just lying around for a chicken to find.

I don’t care. She’s never yet shat upon the floor, and she’s a hell of an automatic floor sweeper.

Heh. My Roomba makes breakfast.


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: June 16, 2011, 10:45 pm

The chicken journal is good stuff.

I’ve kept chickens & geese at various times, & geese are a lot like chickens only larger and mildly* more aggressive. They’re also the key to the riddle of “what happened to the dinosaurs?”.

* if you fed your chickens on an exclusive diet of coffee, chili peppers, and gelignite.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 16, 2011, 11:04 pm

That’s it for the chicken journal, I’m afraid. We only have four.

Uncle B would desperately like some ducks, but we understand they make a hell of a mess.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: June 16, 2011, 11:13 pm

You know, you have only yourselves to blame. I mean. . .you named her “Lucia.” Although, on balance, it seems to have worked out reasonably well. But, really, what did you expect?

Comment from Deborah
Time: June 16, 2011, 11:16 pm

Oh! Isn’t she pretty. She could pass for a hat at Ascot. Tell us again what her breed is?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 16, 2011, 11:19 pm

Pekin bantam of the variety Mille Fleur — a thousand flowers. She is a very pretty chicken.

She’s every inch Lucia, Can’t hark. And Mapp is so Mapp.

We’re just grateful no-one’s worked out where Vita and Violet come from.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: June 16, 2011, 11:30 pm

My grandmother (a country gal from ‘way back) claimed that the only real difference between chickens, geese and ducks (aside from some marginal physical characteristics and a different approach to the subject of “water”, of course) was a matter of ego –

Chickens are pretty much content to consider themselves fully in charge of their immediate environment, unless someone or something puts up a hard opposition; ducks are mostly pretty sure they’re supposed to be in charge of the whole neigborhood, but can be backed off by the bigger and quicker after a bit of a tussle. Geese, however, bow to no one – not even other geese that are not part of the immediate sub-flock – in their imperial control of the known universe, and will turn deadly hostile with no provocation greater than a sidelong glance – they’re absolutely certain that they’re in charge of everything, and no other view will be entertained.

When I was a kid, we lived on a farm and raised beagles (among other enterprises) for a few years. Beagles lurve to chase stuff – other dogs, people, animals big or small, cars, big shiny yellow school busses, you name it. The one thing none of our beagles would chase (at least, after an initial attempt) was the geese a neighbor raised when, on occasion, they would visit our place – even if it was only one goose.

Even the neighbor mostly left ’em alone – and he was the one who fed ’em; his wife wouldn’t go near them.

Chook posts are always welcome – interesting birds. My brother raised Araucanas for awhile (they’re the little banty darlin’s called “the Easter Egg chickens”, as they lay eggs with various-colored shells); fun to watch, and friendly little birdies.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: June 16, 2011, 11:31 pm

Um, yes… V & V? mea culpa

Bit of a Sissinghurst fan, I confess.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 16, 2011, 11:36 pm

We had Araucanas when I was a lass. They were picked off horribly one by one. Possum, I think.

Before we bought these chooks, I read that Pekin Bantams have an outsized sense of self. Like cats. And it’s true.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: June 17, 2011, 12:29 am

Awwwwww! They’re all soooo cute! <3

Had to get it outta my system, I'm fine now. 🙂

Comment from Sporadic Small Arms Fire
Time: June 17, 2011, 3:18 am

I fear that I must disabuse you of your faulty theory of geese superiority. Maybe they can intimidate a chicken, a barn mouse, a grasshopper or a beagle.

I used to own a pair of female Jack Russell Terriers. (we shall not go any deeper as to the exact matter of who owned whom). Upon having to relocate to the area where dog ownership was not remotely possible, I left them with a relative who lives on 300 acres adjacent to a lake. The hellion dogs killed tame white geese that belonged to granddaughter. They killed a few cats, and then dozens of other critters. Quite often they dragged carcasses of Canada geese up to the house.
These were sister JRTs from the same litter, one was 13 the other 15#. Utterly fearless of anything except overturned flowerpot.

Geese are wimps compared to swans, anyway.

After chick %4, time for a post about chicken #1, different pose.

Comment from Oceania
Time: June 17, 2011, 7:29 am

Well …

Oceania is Busy playing with the latest release of Pioneer Aplha … http://pioneerspacesim.net/

It’s been screwed with just a little, however it has a few developmental interesting traits …

It needs spicing up a little .. but not bad .. Enjoy~!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 17, 2011, 10:59 am

Huh. That’s a really interesting link, Oceania.

Does shit happen, or do you just zoom around the universe looking at stuff?

Comment from Rep. Anthony Weinis (D – ick)
Time: June 17, 2011, 1:31 pm

All this talk about clucking makes me want to work hard for the poultry fanciers. Where there is clucking, pecking cannot be too far away and have I got a pecker for you.

Comment from hemmersheim
Time: June 17, 2011, 9:36 pm

“Heh. My Roomba makes breakfast.”

That is THE luckiest chicken on the planet……….

I’d love to make ya Breakfast……. ;o) But I don’t think the wife would approve…….. :o(

Oh and SWeasel…..can you put a “New” “current” dead pool link back someplace those of ME that are computer stoopid can get to……


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 17, 2011, 9:46 pm

Sigh. You’re right. The Dead Pool has fallen off the top page.

I go feex.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 17, 2011, 10:35 pm


Comment from Oceania
Time: June 18, 2011, 3:05 am

At the moment, I’m playing it on my laptop …. it is a bit like the days of old … with Elite, then Frontier …

I’m just exploring the local trade routes around Sol in my little Eagle trying to earn enough credits to buy a faster ship … like an Empire Courier …

Its an Alpha release – definitely different, and all the old trade routes don’t work any more … rats~!

Also the 8 bit boundary for hyperspace glitches doesn’t work – in the old games, you were limited to 15 light years, but if you chose a system where the numbers caused rounding in the processor – you could jump up to 600 light years … pesky Risc processors! lol!

Comment from hemmersheim
Time: June 18, 2011, 11:08 am

thankeeeeee !!!

Comment from Nina’s nina
Time: June 18, 2011, 4:44 pm

oh man, that last line made me lol. Reminds me of my rat terrier… she is a great vacuum cleaner. Fortunately she’s learned to leave the cats alone.

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