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A little flat

So, no, I didn’t watch the Republican debate, but I think I’ll watch the famous Jobs Speech.

Have you ever seen something so purely, perfectly, blazingly stupid that it’s like a precious jewel of stupid?

I was listening to the radio once when the newsreader informed me, “our antibiotics don’t work any more because we’ve evolved too much.” Beautiful. A gem without price.

Well, I think the Big Jobs Speech is going to be stupid on that level. Fun stupid. To start with, He’s Giving Another Damn Speech. It’s like he cannot fucking beLIEVE he’s lost his mojo. (C’mon baby, one more speech. One more speech will do it! It has to!)

Plus…wait, he’s making a speech? So, like, his jobs plan is to make a speech? So the first Congress gets to hear what Obama’s thinking, it’s at the same time as we all do?

I’m sure his team thinks that’ll hold Republican toes to the fire (because we’re bound to love love LOVE his proposals), but I think it’s a major fuck-up. Because most people in the real world understand that’s not how you negotiate a compromise with a difficult opponent, by selling the deal to a third party.

It’s like trying to force your husband to do something he doesn’t want by going to his mom behind his back and getting HER to nag him.

And if that’s the plan, it assumes a) Obama is going to say something substantial enough to like or dislike and b) we will, in fact, like it. From the talking points, it sounds like the grand job plan is, “alright, y’all need to cut the crap now and do what I want.” Oh, and it’s post-partisan because he’s blaming everybody whose middle name isn’t Hussein.

I think I’m going to enjoy this. If anybody walks out in the middle, I might just swoon.


Comment from Mitchell
Time: September 8, 2011, 8:37 pm

If only these slimebag rethuglicans would just let the man be clear.

Comment from Mitchell
Time: September 8, 2011, 8:45 pm

Oh and I hope he makes everyone understand that “Washington’s politics-as-usual” are OVER. It’s the only way we can finally get “America Back To Work”. We need to focus on Jobs now people! Good jobs with Living Wages!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 8, 2011, 9:21 pm

Also, if his re-election strategy is to blame Congress and the odds of shifting Congress back to the Dems are very long for 2012…why would that be an argument?

Re-elect me! I can’t get anything done!

Comment from Bruno Braun
Time: September 8, 2011, 10:09 pm

but… but… Chris Matthews likes it!

Comment from Cynthia
Time: September 8, 2011, 10:13 pm

It should probably be titled “Lather, Rinse, Repeat” because he keeps saying the same stuff, just uses different words and hopes we all are too stupid to realize it…sigh

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: September 8, 2011, 11:19 pm

Bring back the chickens!

They’ve far more sense.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 8, 2011, 11:20 pm

“ham sandwich!”
“baader meinhof gang”

Comment from Spad13
Time: September 8, 2011, 11:24 pm

UB I think you owe the chickens an appology for comparing them to the SCOAMF.

The chicks produce eggs and fertalizer which is more of an acomplishment than anything BHO has done.

Comment from JeffS
Time: September 8, 2011, 11:47 pm

I can’t stand listening to Obama’s voice spewing platitudes, so I muted the sound, as I wanted to watch the responses of people. Platitudes I can get at work. Hell, I have no choice in that one.

Some observations:

I’m not seeing a lot of enthusiasm in the body language. Biden was especially attentive, but he sat right behind O!bamabi, and couldn’t take a nap as he might want to. But not many people smiled. Maybe they have bets on the NFL kick off game?

Nor is everyone is standing for the ovations, let alone applauding. Are they missing the cues? A lot of people seem to have notes or hand outs of some sort. Were conflicting copies of the speech handed out? Maybe Biden is supposed to cue the standing ovations? He sure was quick to applaud. Or nod his head. Still, clearly not everyone is happy and supportive of President Present.

Hmmmm…..John Effin’ Kerry sat down fast a couple of times. Maybe his old war wounds are bothering him? 🙂

Jeez…..Hillary looked as though Bill just invited her to bed for an evening of hot sex. UTTERLY bored and unenthusiastic. Didn’t crack a smile that I saw.

Yup, Boehner is NOT standing for the ovations. At least, not all of them. Well, he stood when Obama left the chamber. That’s protocol, anywho.

Lord, even Michelle Obama looked bored. Maybe she missed dinner, and wasthinking about the burger and fries waiting for her? She certainly left the room fast enough.

Reid looked like a real dumb ass. As attentive as could be while clearly not listening. Waxman still resembles a dessicated alien life form.

OK, now, I will go and read what Zero said……without the ear aches.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: September 8, 2011, 11:57 pm

Obama is still suffering from the Speech Illusion, the idea that he can come down from the mountain, read from a Teleprompter, cast a magic spell with his words and climb back up the mountain, while we scurry around and do what he proclaimed.

Thus writeth Maureen Dowd in the New York Times!

And if Obama has lost MoDo, he’s lost middle-aged liberal feminist women pundits!

(per Best of the Web at the WSJ – I don’t read the NYT.)

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 9, 2011, 12:49 am

You people Idolise and Worship your Presidents … it is realy really bad.

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: September 9, 2011, 1:02 am

Hey, Spad13 – the Head Nagger has produced FAR MORE fertilizer than her chickens ever will. Of course, it is of the male bovine variety, but fertilizer it is, none-the less!

Comment from Randy Rager
Time: September 9, 2011, 3:03 am

Concern troll is concerned.

Comment from Spad13
Time: September 9, 2011, 3:32 am

Mark, his fertalizer is poison and no eggs.

Chickens 2 SCOAMF 0.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 9, 2011, 3:33 am

What we are seeing is a combination of affirmative action and the Peter Principle taken to its ultimate conclusion. The idea that this guy is even marginally intelligent, let alone smart, is looking more untenable by the day. I’ve had smarter bowel movements.

His prospects are not looking good, despite the generally lack-lustre crop on the GOP side (I could get behind Perry, but I’m afraid he’s going to step on his dick before the election, or even the primaries.) But Intrade has Obama short for the first time since they opened the market (49.9% chance of reelection at time of writing 0330 UTC). Those guys are like witches. I knew The Messiah was going to win in March ’08 thanks to them. If he hits 40% then he’s done, bar a miracle.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: September 9, 2011, 4:03 am


I’m hoping that whomever the nominee is, they have the brains to court Herman Cain as their pick for Treasury.

Give him the depaartment and a hunting liscence with no bag limit….

Comment from Lipstick
Time: September 9, 2011, 4:23 am

What Scubafreak said. Herman Cain should definitely be in the cabinet.

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 9, 2011, 5:16 am

You would be better off with Adolf Hitler as your Glorious Leader.

Racial Purity and Bubble Gum Wrappers.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: September 9, 2011, 5:41 am

Zombie Reagan trumps Zombie Shitler.

Your arguement is invalid, sheepshagger.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 9, 2011, 7:11 am

There’s a story in the Daily Mail about a new Turing Test program called CleverBot which apparently managed to hoodwink >50% of a test audience (under rather benign conditions.) I posit that Oceania is its logical corollary: StupidBot. It’s a human that manages to fool people into thinking it’s a computer program.

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 9, 2011, 8:31 am

Hmmm our first flock of trans-human ewes are about to lamb.
We have 40 in the paddock, most are carrying twins, or triplets.
The plan is to use them as incubators for human embryoes. Sheet have a very interesting placental geometry which is suscinctly different from humans.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 9, 2011, 9:31 am

Better not let Prince Charles or Monbiot or Al Gore or Jonathan Porritt or Zac Goldsmith hear you talking like that. They don’t like the GM and the clonin’ and the coal-fired and the Good Glavin!!!. The aristogreens will have you spayed. For once I’m on their side.

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 9, 2011, 10:43 am

Monbiot? Oh that funny little man that is wrong about everything? He can mind his own business, in his own country.

My instincts are still sharp.


Comment from Oceania
Time: September 9, 2011, 10:52 am

Hmmmm wait till you find out about enhanced cellular mitosis (ask Cascade) – no nuclear transfer required!

Comment from some vegetable
Time: September 9, 2011, 1:01 pm

Has anyone else seen this Drudge headline?

“946 days into his presidency, Obama insists someone should get serious about creating jobs”

I laughed loud enough to make the cat look up from her breakfast. She seemed to remain a bit doubtful though, even after I explained the President’s plan to her. She’s one of the longterm underemployed you see. Receives food assistance and is so discouraged by the economy she’s given up looking for work.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 9, 2011, 1:05 pm

Just as well. Have you seen a memo typed by a cat? Pitiful.

I made it about 15 minutes in. Zzzzz. Not as much fun as I’d hoped.

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: September 9, 2011, 2:21 pm

Honestly, I can’t even imagine suffering through 15 minutes of speechifying. I break out into a rash when I am exposed to politicians. I’d need atropine were I to actually listen to a speech.
I’m with Badger*
(badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerMUSHROOM!!MUSHROOM!!!…snaaaake, oh snaaaake. I can’t help it. I still unabashedly love that video after all these years)

bring back the chicken posts.

If I may ask, from whence comes the name, “Mapp?” I find it curiously satisfying, but have never heard it before.

*Forgive the outburst

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: September 9, 2011, 3:40 pm

Oh come on, Feynmangroupie! This beats your song hands down:


Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 9, 2011, 4:14 pm

E.F. Benson, Feynman groupie. Aah, Feynman.

For what it’s worth, I took my first degree in physics at Imperial College precisely because a) I read Surely You’re Joking, Mr Feynman? at age 16 b) I had not one, but two, of those extraordinary, inspirational teachers that you generally only see in mushy Hollywood movies c) I was awarded Taylor and Wheeler’s Spacetime Physics as a school prize and Igor Novikov’s The Evolution of the Universe the year after d) I am very clever.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 9, 2011, 4:32 pm

There’s a series of novels set in the nearby town of Rye and the two main protagonists are named Mapp and Lucia.

They’re wonderfully bitchy novels by the very gay E.F. Benson.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 9, 2011, 4:47 pm

Hm. Check out this odd picture of Obama waiting in Boehner’s office to go on last night. At first I thought he was looking at the crowd gathering to hear him speak, but notice all the little orange signs in the crowd.

Was there a rally or something yesterday?

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: September 9, 2011, 5:24 pm


Viking kittens have always held a special place in my heart, but they can’t hold a candle to the badger song. Mostly, because my husband loathes and detests it, which means I sing it whenever he intentionally tests my sanity by whistling the tune for “Feelings.”

I was not graced with his influence until my early 20s but Richard Feynman, along with Robert Heinlein, is the closest thing to a god for whom I would join a cloister. I would be a physics nun married to my personal savior, and Heinlein could be his prophet. My husband could visit me on weekdays when I wasn’t busy fondling calculus equations and building inter-dimensional portals.
Yes I know they were contemporaries, allow me my fantasy. Besides, I found “Job:A Comedy of Justice” at the tender age of 12-ish, so the Books of Heinlein were/are my guide and Daily Bread.


I am so getting these novels. I had forgotten that I actually do love literature from the British Isles; my knee-jerk reaction to academia’s insistence on what I am supposed to enjoy, forces me to plug my ears and hold my breath until it goes away, and I am allowed to read in peace.

Comment from some vegetable
Time: September 9, 2011, 6:19 pm

Lucky for your chickens that you didn’t settle near Soddom and Gommoreha… or near Spicy and Extra-crispy.

Just sayin’ 😉

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: September 9, 2011, 6:45 pm

Hey, SWeas – those are clearly the “Applause” signs to cue his Donkey supporters. Ain’t NOTHING too Hollywood for the Muslim in Chief.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: September 9, 2011, 9:13 pm

I love that video too, Feynmangroupie 🙂

Ironically, I was singing it just this week when I saw a snake in the garden!

Badger <—————- hates snakes.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: September 9, 2011, 9:17 pm

Ah, but some vegetable… haven’t you ever wondered why Violet and Vita are so named?

It’s kinda sorta Sodom and Gomorrah. Think Sackville-West and Trefusis 😉

Comment from Frit
Time: September 9, 2011, 10:07 pm

Richard Feynman and Robert A. Heinlein are/were awesome gentlemen, and I am forever grateful that they wrote books for me to read, glom-onto, live by, etc. I have two of R.F.’s, books, (I plot…er…plan to get more,) and close to 40 by R.A.H.

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 10, 2011, 2:18 am

Funny. My old Superviser was one of Dicks students. They would find Dick down in the local strip joints when he was meant to be at Faculty meetings or Deans functions. 🙂

I’m going MIA for a week – I got trans-Lambs popping out everywhere!

PS: Cascade email me about genetic memories.

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