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Delights of the village fête, continued


Deadly serious.


Comment from bad cat robot
Time: June 11, 2008, 11:29 pm

I am insanely jealous. Why can’t we have lawnmower racing? We’ll trade you Brits some nice waterskipping (fooling a snowmobile into thinking open water is something it can travel on) http://www.snowtracks.com/snowtalk/ForumID16/446.html
since the Thames will probably start freezing again soon.

Comment from kishnevi
Time: June 11, 2008, 11:29 pm

Yet more proof that men are inherently attracted to anything that can go VROOM!

Comment from Moron Pundit
Time: June 11, 2008, 11:46 pm

I simply need video. Now.


This is what happens to men when you take away their guns.

(I couldn’t decide)

Comment from iamfelix
Time: June 12, 2008, 2:07 am

I shoulda put this in the other ‘direct object’ thread, but it was too far down. Found while looking for pictures of Smarty Jones.

Comment from iamfelix
Time: June 12, 2008, 2:08 am

P.S. I love that name — Smarty Jones. *I’d* like to be called that.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 12, 2008, 5:46 am

Uncle B says these guys are mostly sponsored by local garages, so they’re inveterate engine-tinkerers (note #78 there, careening around the corner on two wheels).

Speaking of B, he’s in London on business for the next few days. He decided not to bring his laptop and risk getting it pinched, so no Skype. I’m kind of going through badger withdrawals.

Which is nuffink compared to what he’ll go through trying to amuse himself of an evening without the internet.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 12, 2008, 5:56 am

Well, of course there’s video:


Too many stills and not enough vid in that one (first sequence starts about two minutes in), but there’s more video at the blmra website.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: June 12, 2008, 9:23 am

Yeah… but someone was fool enough to leave a laptop lying around, connected, so the Badger’s still about, keeping a beady eye on everyone.

Might have known our Leader would have done something tricksy behind my back!

Wonder if there’s a stall selling worm pies in this place… ?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 12, 2008, 9:33 am

Snf, snf. Anybody smell ass?

Oh, hi Uncle B!

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: June 12, 2008, 11:20 am

dot koh dot yookey, dot koh dot yookey

I have drilled in my head from watching Red Eye.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 12, 2008, 11:44 am


Cryptorchids are a real problem for horse breeders. They’re typically sterile because the body heat inside the abdomen kills the sperm. Unfortunately, it has no effect on the testosterone. Surgery under general anesthesia is required to remove the offending direct objects. BTW: stallion-like behavior in a gelded horse is sometimes due to the fact that the “squealer button” (vas deferens) was not removed along with the direct objects; a horse incompletely gelded thus is referred to as “proud cut.”

Incidentally, I’d never heard a cryptorchid referred to as a rig. Ya learn sumthin Brit every day.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 12, 2008, 12:18 pm

Another interesting term (to me, anyway) is “freemartin.” This refers to a female cow that is sterile because it was born with a male twin, and hormones from the male in utero sterilized the female. Besides being sterile, a freemartin often exhibits masculine behavior, i.e., mounting other females, driving sporty convertibles, never asking for directions, etc.

Comment from Allen
Time: June 12, 2008, 1:25 pm

First, Morris dancing, then buggery, now lawnmower racing. Would anyone care to take a bet? The Brits probably have some sort of Lawnmower Museum.

Comment from Steve Skubinna
Time: June 12, 2008, 1:31 pm

I can’t believe this sort of dangerous, Gaia raping activity is still permitted by the EU. Nice going, Weaz, you just put everyone in that photo in jeopardy. The Eurocrats are inbound from Brussels as we speak (type – whatever). Why don’t you go to China and photograph a non state sanctioned Catholic mass?

And we do have lawnmower races in the US. Dave Barry has written several columns on the topic. In fact, there is a US built jet powered lawn mower. So suck on that, limeys!

Comment from Allen
Time: June 12, 2008, 1:43 pm

I do believe I’ve struck internet gold. While pondering the existence of Lawnmower Museums in England (yes they have one) I remembered a lawnmower my dad bought when we lived in England. The “Flymo” hover mower, it’s inventor saw the hovercraft in the early 60’s and said “hmm…”

So I looked around, and here it is, the British Lawnmower Museum AND the Flymo.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 12, 2008, 1:47 pm

Warning: the home page of lawnmowerworld has a soundtrack. (I hate it when they do that; no pity for cubiclemonkeys).

Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 12, 2008, 2:26 pm

I object more to the inevitably cheezy music selections. And even if the selection is appropriate, somebody needs to tell people that synthesized instruments do fucking NOT sound like the actual instruments.

I rest my case.

Comment from Steve Skubinna
Time: June 12, 2008, 4:41 pm

What is wrong with those people? There are only two suitable soundtracks to British videos: The Liberty Bell March, and Yakety Sax.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 12, 2008, 7:41 pm

Don’t get me started on sites that inflict their musical tastes on me – and don’t provide an off-switch. I firmly avoid them. If I run into a site with music and I can’t find the mute switch right away, I go away and don’t come back.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 12, 2008, 7:58 pm

Oh! Ummmm…although…it really should be said. That’s an excellent lawnmower site.

Soundtrack or no.

Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: June 13, 2008, 12:23 pm

Yeah, I think I once saw a King of the Hill episode about lawnmower racing. So they do it in Texas at least, which, the last time I checked was still one of the 57 states, Reconquista notwithstanding.

We used to have a Flymo too. Basically all that was was a petrol motor which span a blade which was covered by what was essentially an inverted, tea-tray-like, shallow dome. Highly, highly dangerous. But as we all know, danger is a rough analogue of fun, so it was all good.

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